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Snitch (2013) Review

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Snitch was created as an argument against the strict and unfair drug convictions in the United States, but whether it works or not is up to the viewer.

The film starts off introducing us to the Rock’s son, Jason, talking to his best friend. His friend asks Jason to hold a shipment of MDMA till he is able to pick it up from Jason. Although he Jason doesn’t agree, you know the friend will send it anyways. The film cuts to the Rock, playing John Mathews, doing business. Now the film will go out of its way to let you know that John is a model American man who has made all his money running an honest trucking business. It will also go out of its way to make The Rock look like an ordinary John.

Cut back to the Jason receiving the shipment of drugs and promptly being raided by the DEA. Jason, who was set up by his friend, must now face the harsh sentencing even if he did not intend to sell. It now falls onto the rock to free his son from prison. To do so, he must help in the arrest of a major drug deal and he attempts to do so with the aid of one of his employees, former gang member Daniel. The rest of the movie shows how deeply gets wrapped up trying to win his sons freedom until his goal is to capture a major player in the Mexican cartel.

As an argument against the strict drug convictions, this movie doesn’t work. It is clearly written by someone who clearly doesn’t know how gangs or street life work. To make maters worse, the hero in this movie isn’t likeable. I can see that they were trying to portray John as someone who will do anything for his children, but all he does is put his family and other people in danger for no reason. Well the reason is to gain his son’s freedom, but he does it so selfishly that I couldn’t sympathize with his pursuits. John essentially ruins the life of a man who wants to make a positive change in his life.

Furthermore, the Rock playing John is a total miscasting. The movie tries so hard to make the Rock look like an everyday man by hiding his muscles and it looks awkward. I don’t believe it when he is powerless against the cartel when I’ve seen him beat countless people in other movies with his bare hands. His acting in this is unconvincing. Maybe Dwayne Johnson can play a serious role, but this one wasn’t it. The acting by the other characters wasn’t any better.

The plot doesn’t make sense. This film would have ended the first time he met with a drug dealer because he looks like a cop. But the movie forces you through all the convoluted story points and I for one was furious at the lack of logic this movie has. I understand that there should be some suspension of disbelief when watching films, but not when the movie is trying to change a real issue in society. Especially one that is supposed to take place in Modern America. Everything that happens in this movie happens for the sake of the plot and you can’t force a story if you are trying to examine a real issue. What makes it worse is despite his selfishness, he is ultimately rewarded at the end because the plot demands it and I can’t sit back silently.

I can’t recommend this movie. I could barely finish it because it is just pandering and terrible. If they wanted to make a proper argument, they should have followed Jason into jail and show how it ruined his life. Maybe show everything that was lost because of this one mistake he made. The movie will go and tell you why this war on drugs is bad, but it does little to show it. I give this movie a 0 out of 10 because there is nothing redeeming in it. Skip this one.

Movie Reviews

Slender Man (2018) Review

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If you are here because you loved the game or even have the slightest idea that the game exists, look elsewhere because this isn’t that. Instead we start off in a quiet boring town where we are introduced to our protagonist, four inseparable high school girls. We cut to them being teens, flirting with boys you’ll never see again, and we learn that they are all bland even though the movie tries to tell you otherwise. This movie spends more time telling you the plot than actually showing you.

As these movies go, they summon Slender Man thinking it is some kind of game. Too bad it’s not and shit gets real and as these movies go, we get to watch as Slender Man widdles away at the group until there is only one.

                Don’t expect great acting in this movie, all the actors are young and they do their best. As far as characters go, I didn’t particularly care for any of them. They also didn’t have any good chemistry. I didn’t believe that they were best friends or that they cared for each other. It just felt like they had to be together because they had to. All their scenes together feel forced and I was honestly was wishing they would end because they don’t add anything to the film. And the plot doesn’t help the movie either. You’ve seen this movie before and probably done better elsewhere.

                I did like that this movie tried new things. There are scenes that are really well done and are creepy and not because you anticipate a jump scare, but because of how everything is set up. I liked some of the dream sequences, but the movie goes a little overboard with them. There are some good bits with Slender Man as well but eventually he because more cartoony than creepy. Only two scenes really stand out, but not enough to recommend the film.

                It isn’t a fun movie to watch aside from a couple of scenes, but they are not worth paying theater price to enjoy. Maybe with better actors and a bigger budget it would be ok, but this one is a disappointment. I rate this a 3 out of 10 because I did like some of the weirder parts, but normal theater goers won’t enjoy it as much. Skip it.

 

Movie Reviews

The Package (2018) Review

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The Package is a raunchy buddy comedy that comes to us from our good friends at Netflix. As far as plots go, this movie doesn’t have one. The premise is simple enough, a group of friends go into woods for a camping trip and one of them cuts off his dick. The rest of the movie involves shenanigans as they the group of friends try to reunite the penis with its owner.

If you are looking for a movie that is engaging and with a narrative, look elsewhere. This movie feels like a series of improvised skits edited together. They do not feel natural and almost seem improvised. The dialogue is iffy in this film. Sometimes you will get decent banter, but most of the time it was unnatural, forced, and awkward, almost as if there was no script. At least not a good one.

As a comedy, it doesn’t always work. The jokes are easy and a lot of the time I knew the punch line to the joke before it was even set up. The movie spends more time trying to gross you out and make you uncomfortable that I at least lost interest a lot of the time. You will see a lot of penis. That being said, I had a couple laughs out of this, so it isn’t a terrible comedy, I just wouldn’t recommend watching this sober.

Because of the genre, every scene must involve the group and shenanigans. This becomes forced as they just move from one mishap to the next. There is no plot, there is no story, just a bunch of slap stick. There also is no character development. There is no growth and all the characters end up where they started in the movie, but this time with girlfriends. I can’t tell you a single name from memory because they were so generic and bland.

Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this movie. Although not terrible, it is one of those movies you will forget you watched. Even if you do watch it and enjoy it the first time through, the film loses the little charm it has the second time around. As far as Netflix releases go, this is not the worst one by any means. But it does feel like a Netflix film. Cheap, easy, and forgettable. At least this one wasn’t offensive.

Final score, I give this a 4 out of 10. It wasn’t bad to sit through, but I wouldn’t watch it again.

Movie Reviews

Extinction (2018) Review

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Synopsis:

Extinction is another postapocalyptic film coming to us from Netflix. It seems this seems to be a recurring theme as a lot of the movies that are coming out have to deal with the end of the world. This one follows a family who must survive the world being destroyed by aliens? The film starts with a dream sequence and pretentious monologue. It sets the tone in the first five minutes, and it seems the tone is a pretentious one. We are introduced to the main character, Peter, who is a overworked father who is never there. The film attempts to show a dysfunctional family as the main issue seems that the father is never home. Aside from the disfunction we learn that Peter has also been having recurring nightmares about the world ending, nightmares that the film will continuously cut to throughout the first half of the movie. It is not until Peter attempts to make amends for being absent that the aliens decide to attack the earth. But of course, because of the skills he has from being a mechanic of sorts is able to escape the initial attack and starts to make his way to safety. And you can pretty much guess where the rest of the film goes as they try to make their way through the city without being spotted by the aliens.

 

Review

                Although a interesting premise, and by no means a dull movie, it’s not great. What hurts this movie the most is the miscasting, I can’t say I was impressed by any performance in this film. Michael Pena wasn’t very believable, and his serious role was played rather bland. The same could be said about Lizzy Caplan’s performance. I’ll give the kids a pass for their performance because they are children, but it did remove a lot of the drama and suspense when the kids had to act scared or sad. As a suspenseful movie, it doesn’t work. The budget was low, so I suspected there were going to be terrible effects, but they are not as bad as the effects the Escape Plan 2 so there is that.

                I really wouldn’t recommend this movie because it is not that good. It has some cool action scenes, but it is really boring. The only redeeming factor I could say would be the twist in the movie that makes the other wise confusing movie make sense, but that alone isn’t enough to watch the movie. Well not if you are an average movie goer. It does take some interesting liberties in playing with how narrative is told and perspective, but that’s saying little when the narrative is boring. In the end, I’d have to give this film a 4/10. It won’t be a terrible time, but it’s defiantly nothing I would recommend.

Movie Reviews

Signal (2014) Review

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               We start the film introduced with the main character Nic. For reasons that aren’t really explained in the movie, Nic cannot walk without the help of crutches. Nic is buying coffee for his friends who are in a road trip. Being the decent guy that he is, Nic stops to help a young boy who is struggling with the claw machine. He shows the boy how to win his prize by drawing the solution on the glass and giving the boy more money. This scene is used to get the audience to sympathize with Nic since he is a good person and also to show that he is really smart. To reinforce the fact that he is smart we learn that not only does Nic go to MIT, but he is a hacker as well. We are then introduced to his friend Jonah, who is also a hacker, and his girlfriend Haley who are on a road trip to California to help Haley move to her new school.

                Nic and Jonah are being taunted by some mysterious hacker who taunts the pair to go find him. And if obvious trap isn’t obvious, you haven’t been paying attention. The two find the location of the hacker and despite all the warnings that it is a bad idea, they go find this mysterious hacker because the plot says so. They find the location is at an abandoned house and as they search the building, something happens. Nic wakes up in a sterile research facility with no recollection of how he got there. We are introduced to Damon who is in charge of interrogating Nic to try to find out what is going on. We learn that aliens have made contact but nothing else is known. The rest of the movie involves Nic trying to reunite with his friend and girlfriend and trying to escape.

                This movie is a weird one. It tries incredibly hard to be deep by constantly going back to simple motifs that only really serve to flesh out Nic as a character. For example, he constantly has to write out his problems in order to find logical solutions. It doesn’t take long to figure out twist so the rest of the movie you are just waiting for the big reveal. At least I wasn’t surprised by what happened. The movie, if anything, is really pretty. The scenes all set up so nicely. The sterile facility, the desert, every scene was just so well shot that it is worth watching just to see the different sets.

                This film definitely isn’t for everyone, so if you are an average movie goer that likes big name block busters, search elsewhere. Nor is it different or unique enough where I can recommend it to people who like weird films, although I can see this having a small cult following. If you have absolutely nothing else to watch or are in the mood for some weird suspenseful sci-fi, give Signal a chance. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because although I liked it, it is not for everyone and it’s one of those movies you can only watch so many times.

Movie Reviews

Blended (2014)

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Blended (2014) is another romantic comedy brought to us by our friends at Happy Madison. Now this is a movie that was made so that Adam Sandler and his friends can take a vacation in Africa. You can tell because of the weak plot, the lazy writing, and the scenes looked like they were taken during their breaks from their vacation. That being said, as far as Adam Sandler movies go, you can do worse.

                The plot is simple enough, a seemingly mismatch couple meet and through some sort of quest find out that they are meant for each other. It doesn’t get any more generic than that. The movie starts off with the couple on their first date, and it is a bad one. We learn that each is a single parent struggling to fill both rolls. As they try to struggle between being good parents and their careers they find that they keep running each other. There are scenes where the Adam Sandler struggles to fill the roll of the mother and doesn’t know how to deal with some of the issues his girls face, suggesting the need for a new mother. This is superimposed with Drew Barrymore’s character struggling to do the same but with her boys. Maybe what they are missing is each other?

This movie tries too hard to show that this couple should be together. They own the same car and they both like their coffee with no cream and some sugar. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Despite despising each other, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore keep running into each other until they stumble upon the trip to Africa that would change their lives forever. Not only becoming a real family but also learning to love again.

                As generic and simple as this movie is, you can do way worse. I did get a few laughs from it so if you have nothing better to do, I’d say go for it. The plot does have some holes, but it’s a movie that was filmed from a vacation, so you shouldn’t expect too much. Of course, not all of the jokes land and I wouldn’t say it is a must see, but you can at the very least put it on as background noise.

                Overall, I wouldn’t say I’d recommend it as it is really generic, and the plot has been done better in other movies. I’d say, if you are looking for something to watch and have nothing better to do, go for it. This movie won’t hold and in fact I’ve already forgotten most of what happened in it already. It won’t win any awards, but you can do worse. 4/10.

Movie Reviews

Incredibles 2 (2018) Review

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I finally got to see Incredibles 2. Most of you are least familiar with the film so I wont waste your time with too much synopsis. This movie takes place immediately after the events of the first one. After the big confrontation with the Underminer, they are dropped from the government program that helps keep their secret identities a secret. Some dude wants to make supers legal again so Mrs. Incredible gets asked to be the face that will make supers legal again.

I got to tell you guys right now, if you are going into this movie believing the hype, you will be disappointed. I was. I think most of my disappointment comes from being blinded b y nostalgia. I recently revisited the first movie in preparation for the sequel and found that it wasn’t exactly what I remembered. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoying it but it wasn’t as good as the first couple times I watched it when I was younger.

This one was no different. I even fell asleep for parts of it. It wasn’t as terrible as some sequels are, but it was definitely over hyped. Now what it did well, it did really well. Some of my favorite parts of this film had to do with the family. Well Mr. Incredible trying to raise the family while Mrs. Incredible went off to do work. You can see how hard he struggles and feel the frustration as he finds that the domestic life is much harder than crime fighting. You can see that he misses the glory days and longs desperately to go back but he also wants to do good for his family. I loved these scenes. They were humbling, they were cute, they were real.

The super hero parts I found lacking however. It was interesting to see what they did with Eslasta Girl and how she used her abilities but it wasn’t interesting enough. Her plot was kind of boring. I knew who the villain was as soon as it was introduced and even though they try to misdirect you, the big reveal isn’t surprising. There is action, the animation is great, the music is incredible but the super hero parts just didn’t do it for me. To be completely honest, I forgot a lot of the plot because it was kind of generic. I can’t tell you the names outside of the main family nor can I tell you a detailed synopsis without sounding generic. They repeat a lot of the jokes from the first movie and they aren’t as funny the second time around. I expected a little more after 10 years.

That being said, if you have kids, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE. They’ll love it and you can do a lot worse. It is a well-produced movie for what it is, it’s worth watching on the big screen. I repeat though, do not believe the hype as you will get disappointed. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because I really don’t see me watching this movie again.

Movie Reviews

The Star (2017) Review

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THE PLOT

The Star is director Timothy Rackart’s animated Christmas story. But it is not the traditional Christmas story you’d expept. The plot revolves around the birth of Jesus, yet the plot is centered around the animals that were present for the birth.

The movie opens up with the main character, a mill donkey named Bo who is tired of his life and wants to run away to see what is outside the Mill. We are introduced to his best friend, a bird named Dave who tells him stories of the outside world and tries to help Bo escape. When Bo finally manages to escape, he finds his way to Mary and Joseph’s house. Due to an injury received during his escape, Bo stays with Mary until he can walk. During this stay, a bond forms between Mary and Bo and his desire to leave and see the world isn’t as strong as it used to be.

As this is happening, the three wise men are making their way to the manger and they alert the king of a new king that will be born. We now have a villain who is set to eliminate this new threat. Bo learns of this plot and the rest of the movie is Bo racing to Mary and Joseph to save the day.

The Review

As far as kids movies go, this isn’t bad. It has an incredible cast and the voice acting is great. Now mind you, it is a religious movie geared for kids, so the plot is simple. If you do not like overly cheerful movies without real consequences or danger, you won’t like this movie. With that said, it is a cute movie. The characters are likeable, the jokes aren’t super cheesy, and the animation is really pretty. If you’re an adult, it won’t be terrible. As far as kid’s movies go, you can do a lot worse.

I also would like to point out that this has a really solid sound track. Some kids movies tend to have really cheesy music and I can’t watch some kids films because of the music it has, but I find this one a delight.

If you aren’t a religious person, you won’t take too much issue with this film since it never tries to shove religion down your throat. While it does have some religious elements in it, the main focus is on Bo’s adventure.

Although the movie is geared for kids and the some of the jokes are easy, the film had a few good laughs. They do take the time to explain some jokes after they are made, and explain parts of the plot that are obvious, remember we aren’t the target audience so it works well for a kids film. I didn’t really have any real issue with this movie, I was never bored and not being very religious myself I didn’t think it was too harmful.

I would recommend this to anyone who has kids and needs something to watch. I know my mom would like this film because its not offensive and its cute. Check it out. Final grade 7 out 10. I do so because although I did enjoy it the first time around, I probably wont remember the plot of this movie down the line nor would I watch it again. Definitely give it a watch tho!

Movie Reviews

American Hero 2015 Review

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American Hero (2015) was written and directed by Nick Love. It stars Stephen Dorff as Melvin Hesper and Eddie Griffin as Lucille. The film is a mocumentary about an American addict with telekinetic psychic abilities. The film starts out with the search of the missing Melvin. We get introduced to Lucille, a paraplegic who we later learn is Melvin’s closest friend. We learn instantly that Melvin is kind of a loser as we find him passed out on the street after a night of partying on the day of his court date for visitation rights with his son. Melvin loses his rights and we watch him fall into despair as he loves his son. The only way Melvin knows how to cope with any emotional pain is through his substance abuse, and as the film progresses it gets worse.

Along the way, many of his loved ones will warm him and plead for him to change. We also see him use his powers for cheap parlor tricks and to help feed his addiction. There are also several sub plots that the film introduces. Lucille living his life as a paraplegic, and a plot about drugs and gang violence in the city of New Orleans. They do a decent job implementing them to Melvin’s narrative and although they weren’t necessary, they weren’t distracting enough to take out.

The format that they used was incredibly effective to tell this story. You get to see how addiction affects Melvin directly, but you also get to see the effects on the people around them. In interviews with the other characters, you get to learn aspects of Melvin’s life that would be lost if it were shot any other way. You get to learn that he is smart, that he has these gifts, that he is kind. But you also get to see the hurt his loved ones feel as he continues to spiral. As mild as it might seem for a movie about addiction, I think that it handles the topic rather well. You can see Melvin doesn’t want to be lost in his addiction, but it is the only way he knows how to handle his pain. Anytime Melvin endures hardship, you can still see the pain as tries desperately to numb it out. I particularly like how they contrast the scenes of his benders with people telling him to slow down and change. To me, it makes the scenes where he is partying sad.

My favorite part of the movie was the relationship Melvin had with Lucille. There was a bond that they shared that was stronger than anything and as lost as Melvin gets, he still has Lucille and I though that was cool. And Lucille isn’t just the comic relieve. I think Eddie Griffin does a great job as Lucille. You can see him fighting to come to terms with his disability and you also see him worry and care for his friend.

All in all, I recommend watching this movie. Yeah it a low score on the rating websites but I think its at least worth checking out. It is a different kind of super hero narrative because throughout it, Melvin isn’t a hero. Nor is Melvin a hero, he’s just some normal guy trying to be normal but doesn’t know how to. Yeah, the CGI isn’t great, but it’s not distracting. Overall, I give this film an 8 out of 10. The ending wasn’t great and some of the scenes dragged on for a bit. Don’t skip this one.

Movie Reviews

The Kissing Booth (2018) Review

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The Kissing Booth (2018) is a Netflix original, written and directed by Vince Marcello. The film is based on the novel Beth Reekles. The plot is about two teens that are best friends. It doesn’t get any deeper than that. The main characters, Elle and Lee, are born on the same day and they are best friends because their moms were best friends. Lee has a dreamy older brother, Noah, whose only characteristic is that he is dreamy. Since this is a high school drama, well prep school, of course the dorky main girl instantly falls in love with Noah. You can clearly tell from the opening montage that Elle’s love for Noah is merited by his good looks and…that’s about it. And there is something about rules Elle and Lee make up as kids. They have multiple rules that they quickly gloss over because they aren’t important, but the one they do constantly remind you is that Elle can’t go out with Noah.

The rest of the movie revolves around annoying high school drama, if you could call it that, and their genius plot to make money for the school by hosting a kissing booth. If you are wondering why the movie is named after this plot point, it doesn’t matter. As much as the movie attempts to help you make the connection and symbolism of the kissing booth, and they try way too hard, it doesn’t matter enough to name the movie after it. Maybe the book did a better job creating this connection, but for the plot, as generic as it is, it doesn’t matter.

So the main character Elle, who if you don’t hate her by minute 13 you will learn to, is tasked with organizing the kissing booth and even get Noah and the popular girls to participate. Then there is more high school stuff that doesn’t matter until finally the day of the fundraiser. The kissing booth is a success, maybe that is why it is the name sake? And Elle ends up kissing Noah without knowing. The rest of the movie becomes annoying couple stuff where the two try to keep their relationship a secret and you get to see their love grow as they just bang. It’s a generic high school drama, you know how it goes.

This film is dull. The main characters are such bad people that I stopped caring about them instantly. Noah is hyperbolically perfect to the point where he isn’t even real and this all feels like a dream of some awkward girl. But I’ll give them credit. The awkward scenes are extremely awkward. Other than that, it was too generic to hold your attention. They try to fake you out a couple times where you believe that the two best friends would end up together, and I would have probably like it better if they did because Lee was a little more real than his brother, but they don’t, and you end up hating yourself for sitting through so much of this film. At an hour in I couldn’t believe I had made it this far.

My favorite part of the film is the ending credit scenes. They had such confidence in their final product that they believed people would stay till the end. I only made it that far because I had to, and the credit scenes are awkward and unimportant. They aren’t even bloopers, it is just awkward scenes of the actors being “silly” and at that point I just turned it off.

This isn’t worth your time. The side characters are forgettable. The plot isn’t good. The acting is ok but the concept doesn’t help in the slightest. I didn’t care about this movie. Maybe it’s because I’m not the target audience but it did a poor job grabbing and holding my attention. Netflix needs to stop spreading itself so wide and focus on making more quality content, as of now it is becoming the “strait to VHS” bargain bin crap you skip at Walmart. I’d say skip this and watch something else. Final verdict: 3 out of 10.