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Movie Reviews

The Meg (2018) Review

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The Meg starts off in the same fashion as other movies in the genre. It sets up a sad back story for the trouble and rugged hero and it cuts to modern day where scientists are doing science. As these movies go, science goes too far and they release the Meg into the modern world and now they must not only survive the Meg, but destroy it before it causes too much damage to the world. Sprinkle in a pointless love plot, some action scenes, and some comic relief and you have this generic movie.

I do not recommend going to watch this in theaters, you have seen way better from this genre and you’d be wasting your money. Instead, I urge you to wait till it comes out on Netflix, you aren’t missing anything. That being said, it isn’t a terrible movie, it’s just not worth theater price. First off, the characters in this film don’t help the movie. If this movie is meant to be a horror film, it has too much comic relief. This movie spends more time trying to be funny that it does trying to be suspenseful or scary. This is not a bad thing because I got a few chuckles from it, but if you are looking for a serious monster movie, look elsewhere. This is one of those movies where you will not remember character names, or even whole characters. There are characters in this movie who you will forget are in this movie until it is their turn to get eaten. And when the Meg eats, it will look terrible on the big screen.

The other issue with the movie is the chemistry between the characters. They kill off the only characters with any real chemistry really early on. The rest of the cast are poorly written archetypes that are put in the move to feed the Meg. The two leads are of course in love because the plot demands it. Their scenes together are my least favorite because they lack the most chemistry. While I do believe that there may be physical attraction, I do not believe that it is the deep seeded love the movie tries to convey. This movie will stop the plot to show you the two leads in an awkward interaction and tell you that they love each other repeatedly. This for me takes away from the film because I didn’t care for this plot line and cuts the time we get to spend with the real star, the Meg.

This movie has a lot of padding. I felt like the Meg was barely in the movie, and that is the whole reason I went to watch it in the movie. I wanted to watch a monster shark eat people. Instead you get a bunch of unassay scenes such as all the love plot scenes. The little girl was probably the worst padding for the film as she had no real purpose for being in the film. Cut her character out of the film and the movie doesn’t suffer from any drastic change. Instead she is there to provide comic relief and be cute in order to pander. Like most characters in this movie, she becomes a gimmick that doesn’t really work with the tone of the movie. She was in it to be cute and that was it. But by far my biggest complaint is that the Meg doesn’t kill enough people. This was the least violent monster attack I have ever seen.

This movie isn’t terrible. It is flawed but not the worst thing that has come to theaters this year. It has a certain charm to it that will be lost on a second viewing, but you won’t be completely bored with it. This is one of those movies you can only watch once and you will probably forget you watched it later. I do not recommend paying            theater price. Wait till it gets on Netflix. I give this movie a 5 out of 10.

Movie Reviews, Uncategorized

The Intern (2015) Review

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The intern is the buddy comedy starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway that no one asked for. The plot is simple enough. You start out the movie with De Niro narrating how his life has become boring routine since his Retirement. We learn that this narration is part of his interview for a job as an intern at a successful online retail company. This is immediately contrasted against Anne Hathaway’s character who is a fast-paced business woman in charge of an extremely successful business. The movie wants you to know that they are opposites and will be the focus of the movie. Naturally De Niro gets the job and is paired up with Hathaway’s character because she must be the example for the company. As the movie progresses, we get to see their relationship grow as Hathaway learns to slow down and soften up thanks to the persistence and good nature of Robert De Niro. It’s a basic plot so there isn’t too much to say on it.

The film starts off quirky. The character interactions, the music, the scenes. Unfortunately, it loses this quirk 20 minutes in after all the introductions are settled. It gets dull. A lot of the plot is contrived and forced just for the sake of having plot points. De Niro’s love interests, his friendships, the whole reason that he end’s up at the company in the first place is a reach. After you get past the quirky intro, it turns into a generic story that you will forget instantly. Granted, I might not be the target audience so that might contribute why this story wasn’t compelling, but it’s just too simple for my taste.

The acting in this movie is good. The chemistry between the two characters, and even the rest of the cast was great. I believed De Niro and Hathaway’s relationship. I thought it was cute, but the acting and the chemistry can’t save the boring narrative you have to sit through. I don’t have too much to say about this movie because it was just generic. I don’t see this movie lasting too long because it will be dated soon. A lot of the quirks get old fast and they will repeat the same joke too many times. I lost interest early on because it becomes a gimmick almost. It is jokes about De Niro adjusting to the tech world and jokes about Hathaway learning to slow down and enjoy her life. It is too easy.

It’s not a terrible film, it has good moments. The acting is great. The production is good. It just wasn’t made for me. It is story no one asked for and we really don’t need but it was done well enough. I rate a 4 out of 10, while I didn’t like the film personally, it’s not a harmful flick and it isn’t a terrible time. For the right audience, it’ll be a great sit.

Movie Reviews

Snitch (2013) Review

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Snitch was created as an argument against the strict and unfair drug convictions in the United States, but whether it works or not is up to the viewer.

The film starts off introducing us to the Rock’s son, Jason, talking to his best friend. His friend asks Jason to hold a shipment of MDMA till he is able to pick it up from Jason. Although he Jason doesn’t agree, you know the friend will send it anyways. The film cuts to the Rock, playing John Mathews, doing business. Now the film will go out of its way to let you know that John is a model American man who has made all his money running an honest trucking business. It will also go out of its way to make The Rock look like an ordinary John.

Cut back to the Jason receiving the shipment of drugs and promptly being raided by the DEA. Jason, who was set up by his friend, must now face the harsh sentencing even if he did not intend to sell. It now falls onto the rock to free his son from prison. To do so, he must help in the arrest of a major drug deal and he attempts to do so with the aid of one of his employees, former gang member Daniel. The rest of the movie shows how deeply gets wrapped up trying to win his sons freedom until his goal is to capture a major player in the Mexican cartel.

As an argument against the strict drug convictions, this movie doesn’t work. It is clearly written by someone who clearly doesn’t know how gangs or street life work. To make maters worse, the hero in this movie isn’t likeable. I can see that they were trying to portray John as someone who will do anything for his children, but all he does is put his family and other people in danger for no reason. Well the reason is to gain his son’s freedom, but he does it so selfishly that I couldn’t sympathize with his pursuits. John essentially ruins the life of a man who wants to make a positive change in his life.

Furthermore, the Rock playing John is a total miscasting. The movie tries so hard to make the Rock look like an everyday man by hiding his muscles and it looks awkward. I don’t believe it when he is powerless against the cartel when I’ve seen him beat countless people in other movies with his bare hands. His acting in this is unconvincing. Maybe Dwayne Johnson can play a serious role, but this one wasn’t it. The acting by the other characters wasn’t any better.

The plot doesn’t make sense. This film would have ended the first time he met with a drug dealer because he looks like a cop. But the movie forces you through all the convoluted story points and I for one was furious at the lack of logic this movie has. I understand that there should be some suspension of disbelief when watching films, but not when the movie is trying to change a real issue in society. Especially one that is supposed to take place in Modern America. Everything that happens in this movie happens for the sake of the plot and you can’t force a story if you are trying to examine a real issue. What makes it worse is despite his selfishness, he is ultimately rewarded at the end because the plot demands it and I can’t sit back silently.

I can’t recommend this movie. I could barely finish it because it is just pandering and terrible. If they wanted to make a proper argument, they should have followed Jason into jail and show how it ruined his life. Maybe show everything that was lost because of this one mistake he made. The movie will go and tell you why this war on drugs is bad, but it does little to show it. I give this movie a 0 out of 10 because there is nothing redeeming in it. Skip this one.

Movie Reviews

Slender Man (2018) Review

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If you are here because you loved the game or even have the slightest idea that the game exists, look elsewhere because this isn’t that. Instead we start off in a quiet boring town where we are introduced to our protagonist, four inseparable high school girls. We cut to them being teens, flirting with boys you’ll never see again, and we learn that they are all bland even though the movie tries to tell you otherwise. This movie spends more time telling you the plot than actually showing you.

As these movies go, they summon Slender Man thinking it is some kind of game. Too bad it’s not and shit gets real and as these movies go, we get to watch as Slender Man widdles away at the group until there is only one.

                Don’t expect great acting in this movie, all the actors are young and they do their best. As far as characters go, I didn’t particularly care for any of them. They also didn’t have any good chemistry. I didn’t believe that they were best friends or that they cared for each other. It just felt like they had to be together because they had to. All their scenes together feel forced and I was honestly was wishing they would end because they don’t add anything to the film. And the plot doesn’t help the movie either. You’ve seen this movie before and probably done better elsewhere.

                I did like that this movie tried new things. There are scenes that are really well done and are creepy and not because you anticipate a jump scare, but because of how everything is set up. I liked some of the dream sequences, but the movie goes a little overboard with them. There are some good bits with Slender Man as well but eventually he because more cartoony than creepy. Only two scenes really stand out, but not enough to recommend the film.

                It isn’t a fun movie to watch aside from a couple of scenes, but they are not worth paying theater price to enjoy. Maybe with better actors and a bigger budget it would be ok, but this one is a disappointment. I rate this a 3 out of 10 because I did like some of the weirder parts, but normal theater goers won’t enjoy it as much. Skip it.

 

Movie Reviews

The Package (2018) Review

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The Package is a raunchy buddy comedy that comes to us from our good friends at Netflix. As far as plots go, this movie doesn’t have one. The premise is simple enough, a group of friends go into woods for a camping trip and one of them cuts off his dick. The rest of the movie involves shenanigans as they the group of friends try to reunite the penis with its owner.

If you are looking for a movie that is engaging and with a narrative, look elsewhere. This movie feels like a series of improvised skits edited together. They do not feel natural and almost seem improvised. The dialogue is iffy in this film. Sometimes you will get decent banter, but most of the time it was unnatural, forced, and awkward, almost as if there was no script. At least not a good one.

As a comedy, it doesn’t always work. The jokes are easy and a lot of the time I knew the punch line to the joke before it was even set up. The movie spends more time trying to gross you out and make you uncomfortable that I at least lost interest a lot of the time. You will see a lot of penis. That being said, I had a couple laughs out of this, so it isn’t a terrible comedy, I just wouldn’t recommend watching this sober.

Because of the genre, every scene must involve the group and shenanigans. This becomes forced as they just move from one mishap to the next. There is no plot, there is no story, just a bunch of slap stick. There also is no character development. There is no growth and all the characters end up where they started in the movie, but this time with girlfriends. I can’t tell you a single name from memory because they were so generic and bland.

Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this movie. Although not terrible, it is one of those movies you will forget you watched. Even if you do watch it and enjoy it the first time through, the film loses the little charm it has the second time around. As far as Netflix releases go, this is not the worst one by any means. But it does feel like a Netflix film. Cheap, easy, and forgettable. At least this one wasn’t offensive.

Final score, I give this a 4 out of 10. It wasn’t bad to sit through, but I wouldn’t watch it again.

Movie Reviews

Extinction (2018) Review

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Synopsis:

Extinction is another postapocalyptic film coming to us from Netflix. It seems this seems to be a recurring theme as a lot of the movies that are coming out have to deal with the end of the world. This one follows a family who must survive the world being destroyed by aliens? The film starts with a dream sequence and pretentious monologue. It sets the tone in the first five minutes, and it seems the tone is a pretentious one. We are introduced to the main character, Peter, who is a overworked father who is never there. The film attempts to show a dysfunctional family as the main issue seems that the father is never home. Aside from the disfunction we learn that Peter has also been having recurring nightmares about the world ending, nightmares that the film will continuously cut to throughout the first half of the movie. It is not until Peter attempts to make amends for being absent that the aliens decide to attack the earth. But of course, because of the skills he has from being a mechanic of sorts is able to escape the initial attack and starts to make his way to safety. And you can pretty much guess where the rest of the film goes as they try to make their way through the city without being spotted by the aliens.

 

Review

                Although a interesting premise, and by no means a dull movie, it’s not great. What hurts this movie the most is the miscasting, I can’t say I was impressed by any performance in this film. Michael Pena wasn’t very believable, and his serious role was played rather bland. The same could be said about Lizzy Caplan’s performance. I’ll give the kids a pass for their performance because they are children, but it did remove a lot of the drama and suspense when the kids had to act scared or sad. As a suspenseful movie, it doesn’t work. The budget was low, so I suspected there were going to be terrible effects, but they are not as bad as the effects the Escape Plan 2 so there is that.

                I really wouldn’t recommend this movie because it is not that good. It has some cool action scenes, but it is really boring. The only redeeming factor I could say would be the twist in the movie that makes the other wise confusing movie make sense, but that alone isn’t enough to watch the movie. Well not if you are an average movie goer. It does take some interesting liberties in playing with how narrative is told and perspective, but that’s saying little when the narrative is boring. In the end, I’d have to give this film a 4/10. It won’t be a terrible time, but it’s defiantly nothing I would recommend.

Movie Reviews

Signal (2014) Review

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               We start the film introduced with the main character Nic. For reasons that aren’t really explained in the movie, Nic cannot walk without the help of crutches. Nic is buying coffee for his friends who are in a road trip. Being the decent guy that he is, Nic stops to help a young boy who is struggling with the claw machine. He shows the boy how to win his prize by drawing the solution on the glass and giving the boy more money. This scene is used to get the audience to sympathize with Nic since he is a good person and also to show that he is really smart. To reinforce the fact that he is smart we learn that not only does Nic go to MIT, but he is a hacker as well. We are then introduced to his friend Jonah, who is also a hacker, and his girlfriend Haley who are on a road trip to California to help Haley move to her new school.

                Nic and Jonah are being taunted by some mysterious hacker who taunts the pair to go find him. And if obvious trap isn’t obvious, you haven’t been paying attention. The two find the location of the hacker and despite all the warnings that it is a bad idea, they go find this mysterious hacker because the plot says so. They find the location is at an abandoned house and as they search the building, something happens. Nic wakes up in a sterile research facility with no recollection of how he got there. We are introduced to Damon who is in charge of interrogating Nic to try to find out what is going on. We learn that aliens have made contact but nothing else is known. The rest of the movie involves Nic trying to reunite with his friend and girlfriend and trying to escape.

                This movie is a weird one. It tries incredibly hard to be deep by constantly going back to simple motifs that only really serve to flesh out Nic as a character. For example, he constantly has to write out his problems in order to find logical solutions. It doesn’t take long to figure out twist so the rest of the movie you are just waiting for the big reveal. At least I wasn’t surprised by what happened. The movie, if anything, is really pretty. The scenes all set up so nicely. The sterile facility, the desert, every scene was just so well shot that it is worth watching just to see the different sets.

                This film definitely isn’t for everyone, so if you are an average movie goer that likes big name block busters, search elsewhere. Nor is it different or unique enough where I can recommend it to people who like weird films, although I can see this having a small cult following. If you have absolutely nothing else to watch or are in the mood for some weird suspenseful sci-fi, give Signal a chance. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because although I liked it, it is not for everyone and it’s one of those movies you can only watch so many times.

Movie Reviews

Blended (2014)

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Blended (2014) is another romantic comedy brought to us by our friends at Happy Madison. Now this is a movie that was made so that Adam Sandler and his friends can take a vacation in Africa. You can tell because of the weak plot, the lazy writing, and the scenes looked like they were taken during their breaks from their vacation. That being said, as far as Adam Sandler movies go, you can do worse.

                The plot is simple enough, a seemingly mismatch couple meet and through some sort of quest find out that they are meant for each other. It doesn’t get any more generic than that. The movie starts off with the couple on their first date, and it is a bad one. We learn that each is a single parent struggling to fill both rolls. As they try to struggle between being good parents and their careers they find that they keep running each other. There are scenes where the Adam Sandler struggles to fill the roll of the mother and doesn’t know how to deal with some of the issues his girls face, suggesting the need for a new mother. This is superimposed with Drew Barrymore’s character struggling to do the same but with her boys. Maybe what they are missing is each other?

This movie tries too hard to show that this couple should be together. They own the same car and they both like their coffee with no cream and some sugar. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Despite despising each other, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore keep running into each other until they stumble upon the trip to Africa that would change their lives forever. Not only becoming a real family but also learning to love again.

                As generic and simple as this movie is, you can do way worse. I did get a few laughs from it so if you have nothing better to do, I’d say go for it. The plot does have some holes, but it’s a movie that was filmed from a vacation, so you shouldn’t expect too much. Of course, not all of the jokes land and I wouldn’t say it is a must see, but you can at the very least put it on as background noise.

                Overall, I wouldn’t say I’d recommend it as it is really generic, and the plot has been done better in other movies. I’d say, if you are looking for something to watch and have nothing better to do, go for it. This movie won’t hold and in fact I’ve already forgotten most of what happened in it already. It won’t win any awards, but you can do worse. 4/10.

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Escape Plan 2: Hades

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Hey guys, its been a while. I’ve been busy with work and such and will be rolling out the reviews slower than usual until I get settled.

Escape Plan 2: Hades is the sequel no one knows exists. Probably because the entire budget was spent on the special effects. Plot wise, it follows the same formula as the first, except with a lot less Stallone, which was incredibly disappointing for me. If you look at the poster for this film, you’d assume this would be a movie that stares Stallone and Bautista, but it doesn’t. Instead we follow Shen who gets captured because his cousin has this super secret high tech skeleton key that some secret evil force wants to steal. The movie then works in a similar fashion where Shen must figure out a way to escape the prison.

This was a much more poorly executed movie than the first one. The budget is noticeably smaller than the previous as most of it is filmed in front of a green screen with horrible CGI. Most of the actors sleep walk through this, possibly because they assume no one is going to watch it. Sadly, I got to watch it and we paid to rent it. I have never felt so cheated in my life. The plot doesn’t make any sense and if you haven’t seen the first one, don’t bother watching this one because you will be confused. For some reason this movie makes a lot of references to the first one assuming that the first film was incredibly memorable. Having seen the first one myself, I struggled to follow the plot and I honestly forgot the plot of the first one. Writing this review, I am struggling to remember what the hell I just watched.

The best part of the movie is how the try to sequel bate a third movie, as if they believed this would be the beginning of a long lasting series, but I cant see a movie with a lower production value than this one. This movie is so bad and boring, skip this one. It doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. If you are a fan of the first one, watch the first one again.

Movie Reviews

Incredibles 2 (2018) Review

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I finally got to see Incredibles 2. Most of you are least familiar with the film so I wont waste your time with too much synopsis. This movie takes place immediately after the events of the first one. After the big confrontation with the Underminer, they are dropped from the government program that helps keep their secret identities a secret. Some dude wants to make supers legal again so Mrs. Incredible gets asked to be the face that will make supers legal again.

I got to tell you guys right now, if you are going into this movie believing the hype, you will be disappointed. I was. I think most of my disappointment comes from being blinded b y nostalgia. I recently revisited the first movie in preparation for the sequel and found that it wasn’t exactly what I remembered. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoying it but it wasn’t as good as the first couple times I watched it when I was younger.

This one was no different. I even fell asleep for parts of it. It wasn’t as terrible as some sequels are, but it was definitely over hyped. Now what it did well, it did really well. Some of my favorite parts of this film had to do with the family. Well Mr. Incredible trying to raise the family while Mrs. Incredible went off to do work. You can see how hard he struggles and feel the frustration as he finds that the domestic life is much harder than crime fighting. You can see that he misses the glory days and longs desperately to go back but he also wants to do good for his family. I loved these scenes. They were humbling, they were cute, they were real.

The super hero parts I found lacking however. It was interesting to see what they did with Eslasta Girl and how she used her abilities but it wasn’t interesting enough. Her plot was kind of boring. I knew who the villain was as soon as it was introduced and even though they try to misdirect you, the big reveal isn’t surprising. There is action, the animation is great, the music is incredible but the super hero parts just didn’t do it for me. To be completely honest, I forgot a lot of the plot because it was kind of generic. I can’t tell you the names outside of the main family nor can I tell you a detailed synopsis without sounding generic. They repeat a lot of the jokes from the first movie and they aren’t as funny the second time around. I expected a little more after 10 years.

That being said, if you have kids, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE. They’ll love it and you can do a lot worse. It is a well-produced movie for what it is, it’s worth watching on the big screen. I repeat though, do not believe the hype as you will get disappointed. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because I really don’t see me watching this movie again.