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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

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Welcome to Racoon City has to be the worst movie in the series. Absolutely nothing happens in the first thirty minutes of this movie. There is no meaningful world-building, no character development, and zombies aren’t even cool. This whole experience is a giant slog towards a very cheesy and disappointing sequel bait.

Most of the run time is wasted on pointless family drama. I came to this movie to see some hot zombie action, but the zombies take a back seat to the main character’s poorly acted family issues. The zombies barely show up in this movie. When they do, they are these poorly designed abominations. What little action does exist is poorly executed and dull. I can’t stress enough how boring this movie is.

This is a generic action movie and not the origin story it claims to be. If you are a fan of the video games, prepare to stay disappointed. If you are a fan of the movie series, this is the worst one. This movie isn’t worth your time nor the $20 price tag.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Notzilla (2019)

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I really want to like this movie. There are a lot of elements in this film that resonate with me. I love the cheesy over the top acting. I love some of the running gags. Some of the writing is clever and concise. I adore how creative they get with their sets and style choices. On paper, this is the perfect film for me, but I can’t recommend this to a mainstream audience.

The biggest issue I have with this movie is with its pacing. I lost interest about halfway through. It would be better as a shorter film. Some of the gags are not funny and go on for too long. At points, it gets too meta for its own good. I am not a fan of meta jokes.

Average moviegoers won’t like this film. If you are a fan of monster films, it might be salvageable but, the cheesy tone it takes is not for everyone. I feel like there are a lot of references and jokes that I missed because I haven’t seen many monster movies. That said, I do appreciate this movie for what it does. There are some creative stylistic choices in this movie that should not be overlooked. It also has some of my favorite jokes from any parody. But it is not a movie I can recommend.

If you are interested, you can check it out on Amazon if you have an active ConTV subscription.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: The Ex (2006)

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I take issue with this genre of movies because, at its core, it is about objectifying women. Two men will fight over the desired woman as if she were a prize until the “good” one proves victorious. There is a lot of deception, betrayal, and shenanigans along the way. If you can look past the objectification, they can be fun movies you will forget about soon after. This movie isn’t fun’ I do not recommend it.

My biggest issue with this movie is with the main character. He is rude, selfish, and self-serving. He is only the better option because the rival is irredeemably and cartoonishly evil. The main character is equally unlikable and it makes this movie difficult to get through. This whole ordeal becomes a drawn-out fight between two characters that you won’t care about.

This whole movie could have been avoided if there was a clear and honest discussion between the couple. But there isn’t, because the woman’s opinion doesn’t matter. I forgot the woman existed until she would randomly pop up to move the plot forward. The fact that she forgives the main character after the fact proves how one-dimensional of a character she is. She only exists to have the baby and be fought over. It is disgusting.

It is a shame that there is so much wasted talent in this movie. On paper, a cast like this should result in a funny movie but the funny moments are too far in between to be worth watching. The movie is slow the rest of the time. I say don’t waste your time with this. Watch “School for Scoundrels” instead. But if you insist on ignoring my caution, you can find this movie free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

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I found myself enjoying this movie up until the end. The acting is what makes this movie work so well. John Goodman’s character is amazing! His character is what gives the movie most of its suspense. I will commend the film’s ability to effectively tell a solid narrative through the interactions between three people. They create a whole world within a small bunker and I am here for it. I recommend this movie to see John Goodman.

My issue with this movie is with the ending. This movie is a part of a larger Cloverfield Cinematic Universe (CCU), but I don’t think it works here. The connection to the CCU seems to be an afterthought and thus lazily executed. If you ignore this connection, it is a much more compelling story about prisoners trapped in some stranger’s basement. That’s the movie you need to see, not this poorly executed alien invasion movie. Ignoring this connection is ideal, but it also creates a new issue. If you do not know anything about the CCU, the ending to this movie is disorienting and disappointing. But if you don’t ignore it, you will still be disappointing.

But don’t let the promise of disappointment dull your intrigue about this movie. If you ignore its connection to the CCU and look past the ending, you have a solid and entertaining movie you can watch for free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Reviews – In Time (2011)

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When I first watched this movie, it was fine. And it is. It’s a generic action movie that tries to be too deep for its own good. You can ignore the plot holes, the acting, and the improbable science and it’s still not good.

My biggest issue with this film is its preachiness. Every single scene in this movie is about class inequality is bad. Every sentence in this movie is about time. It beats you with the metaphor so constantly that it loses its power. I was so over this movie’s message by the first 20 minutes; it makes this movie hard to watch. They repeat a lot of the same lines. I think this movie has the honorable goal of making some type of social criticism. I don’t it is effective in its execution.

Another issue with this movie is the action is underwhelming. I think Justin Timberlake is the best choice for this movie. I think his acting is good enough for the writing, but he didn’t do much fighting in his time with NSYNC. I would have much preferred if he started singing and dancing. This movie as a musical would be something to behold.

The best part of this movie is easily the time cop that chases them. Cillian Murphy is much too good for this movie, but his character saves it for me. Other than that, I can’t say I cared for it too much.

You can do a lot worse for free. If you are looking for an action movie, the action isn’t very good. If you are looking for a compelling love story, I would call what the main characters have more lust than love. If you want to look at attractive people do stuff, yeah, this is it.

You can watch this with your Amazon Prime subscription. It’s also free over on YouTube. See the link below. Thanks!

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Movie Reviews, movies

The Wave (2019) Review

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I will say this movie isn’t for everyone. Its disorienting method of storytelling and subject matter can be off-putting. It is a movie about drug use. That said, the dizzying and disorienting trip this movie takes is worth watching at least once.

This movie plays a lot with how it tells its narrative. The scenes jump around abruptly, making it a bit disorienting to watch. It is confusing and frustrating; that is the point. It is supposed to feel like this deep crazy drug-fueled trip of self-discovery, and it works! If you have ever done hallucinogens or thought about doing them, this is a pretty solid representation.

What makes this movie work so well are the visuals and transitions. It is a very creative and interesting take on the genre. The wacky adventure is still somehow grounded and isn’t trying to be funny “The Hangover” and the clones that stem from it. Instead, it is a more serious trip of self-discovery that might end with a similar message, but the journey is a lot more interesting.

If you are in need of a weird and trippy movie, look no further. Do not be dissuaded by its odd packaging, I believe you should experience this at least once. If you have an Amazon Prime account, it is included in your subscription. If you don’t, it’s free on Vudu.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Jingle All the Way (1996)

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It is that time of year! Christmas is in all the shop windows; everyone is busy buying last-minute gifts. It is important to sit back and enjoy small moments of respite with a Christmas movie. There are so many to choose from, but this one happens to be free on YouTube. Holidays are expensive; you can’t go wrong with free!

I consider this film a classic. Now while it may not be in the same vein as “A Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story”; it is an important movie in the genre. You have Arnold Schwarzenegger being as charming as he can be. You have Sinbad in his prime. It has deception, conflict, betrayal, and redemption. All markers of a great adventure. While the story borders on fantasy; it is an enjoyable story for the whole family. I will say that there are jokes in this movie that do not age well, but that doesn’t ruin the experience.

If you haven’t seen it, check it out. If you have, it’s free. I will always include this movie in my Christmas movie marathon.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: The Sasquatch Gang (2006)

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I will be upfront, I am a bit biased when it comes to this movie. I am a sucker for cheesy movies that focus on t

I will be upfront I am a bit biased when it comes to this movie. I am a sucker for cheesy movies that focus on the mundane nature of human life. You might compare this to movies like Napoleon Dynamite or Nacho Libre because of its subdued tone.

The movie is about friends who find evidence that Big Foot is real. This movie is unique in that it plays with how it tells its narrative. The movie jumps between perspectives, focusing on a new character each time. The film will retell the same story through this shifting perspective until it all comes together at the end. I believe this movie does this very well. I never felt confused by the shifts and appreciated the new details highlighted with each retelling. The attention to detail is pretty solid in this movie.

Yes, the movie might be cheesy. The acting can be over the top in places. The plot is silly. But it comes together to be an entertaining story that I hold dear to my heart. Look, it might not hit everyone the same way. There is no wacky adventure full of unbelievable hijinks. Instead, it’s a story about a group of people in a sleepy town whose lives get shaken up slightly by a single event. It can be slow, some of the jokes do not land, but you have to appreciate the narrative. You can do a lot worse for free.

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Super Hot (2021) Review

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Let me start by stating that this is not a good movie. The plot has too many holes for it to be sound. The acting is over the top and cheesy. The twist and the ending are predictable. That said, I loved this movie. This is one of those bad movies that are fun to watch.

What saves this movie for me are the main characters. The charisma and the chemistry they share are worth watching. I believed they were just a group of goofy friends who stumbled onto something dangerous. This movie should not be taken seriously. It embraces this fact. The silly tone that it embraces fosters the charm that I love.

This film is not for everyone. As I said, it does have a lot of problems. But if you do end up watching it, please don’t take it too seriously. Sit back and enjoy the wacky cartoonish ride.

If you have Amazon Prime, it is included in your membership. I’ve said it before; you can do a lot worse for free.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Spaceballs (1987)

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This is a great parody that I believe everyone should experience at least once. It is what parodies should strive to achieve. It is funny, clever, and timeless. If you are a Star Wars fan, this is a must-watch. If you are not, it is not a problem. The movie doesn’t require you to know anything about the Star Wars movie for it to be enjoyable, but it helps.

I will say that this movie can be alienating if you are younger or from outside of the US. This movie makes a lot of references to American pop culture from the time it was released. Some of these don’t age well and others won’t make sense unless you are familiar with American Pop culture. Because of this, I don’t think it is for everyone. I do think it is a movie people should check out, just keep in mind that some aspects of this movie might not make sense. You can do a lot worse for free.

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