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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chick Fight (2020)

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Every once in a while, I stumble across a bad movie that leaves me feeling angry about the time I’ve just wasted. Chick Fight is one of those movies. There is so much I want to say, but here is the short version: This movie is terrible, do not watch it. The plot is lazy and predictable, the acting is mediocre at best, and the characters are unimagined.

I knew this movie bad. I felt it in my soul, but I wasn’t ready for how bad. The title alone should have been a red flag, but unfortunately, I watch anything once.

Chick fight is as generic as they come. The main character trains for a high-stakes big fight at the end while facing impossible odds. Somehow, through mostly confidence, she overcomes these odds and wins at everything. Think Karate Kid, but never as good.

My main issue is with Anna, the main character. She is as boring. She has nothing to lose, that is her motivation, but the plot gives her things. She gets the fight club, she gets to win at the end, she gets the successful coffee shop, and she gets the guy at the end without ever struggling. She gets all this because she believes in herself now? Fighting real people gives her the strength to fight life. That is the moral of the story, and I hate it. This movie takes every chance it gets to include a line of dialogue to slap you with its cheesy moral.

The cheesy message of empowerment aside, there is no way she wins her final fight. Anna joins the fight club, not knowing how to fight. Everyone in this fight club demonstrates some real skill, and then you have Anna, who has never even thrown a punch. Anna has two months to get good enough to fight the best fighter in the club. The rival, Olivia, has never been defeated. Olivia is shown beating three fighters at once. There is no way she wins the fight at the end. But through the power of character and shitty foreshadowing, Anna wins. Just watch Karate Kid.

There is so much I want to say about this movie. I have pages and pages of angry notes, but I will end it here: This movie isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: The Watch (2012)

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“The Watch” is one of those movies that is more about the actors than the plot. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it helps to be a fan of the main actors. As far as buddy comedies go, this one is fine. The chemistry between the actors is infectious, and there are some funny bits. Each of the actors plays to his strengths and they create some delightful characters. The problem with this film is that it doesn’t have much replay value. Essentially, this is a collection of funny moments woven together by an alien invasion plot.

I enjoyed this movie the first time. I cannot deny that it has a certain charm about it. Unfortunately, that charm wears off on the second viewing. Once you know all the jokes and have seen all the bits, you are just waiting around for meaningless plot development to get settled. It isn’t bad for what it is. God knows I have seen a lot worse, but you won’t remember watching this movie. Instead, you will remember specific bits and moments you think are funny.

I do not think this movie is worth paying any money to see, it is not entertaining enough to be worth any money, but as a free movie, you can do a lot worse. It is free on Amazon through IMDB, but I recommend you watch it elsewhere without ads because the ads do affect the viewing experience. If you do have to pay for it, I recommend watching “a best of” on YouTube instead.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Arkansas (2020)

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Arkansas is a movie about drug dealers that focuses on the revolving nature of the industry. It isn’t your typical high octane violent movie of an individual rising in the ranks and taking over the city; instead, the focus of this movie is on the rise and fall of drug bosses. It deals a lot with how volatile respect and power is. The power and respect a person earns in his lifetime can disappear in a blink of an eye.

This movie is a tragedy. It is about these tragic heroes who are stuck in this endless struggle of trying to make a living, but it can never be enough. The struggle is framed like a curse rather than this exciting epic rise to dominance. There is no permanence in life.

You need to watch this movie. Liam Hemsworth and Clark Duke play off each other so well. Clark Duke shows how much of a master he is at telling a compelling and interesting story. The pacing is great, the action is enough, and the story is one of my favorites. I am enamored with this movie and impressed with what they were able to do with their budget. This movie proves that you do not need a crazy budget to tell a good story. If you have Amazon Prime, it is included with your subscription. Go watch this now!

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

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This movie isn’t for everyone. If you have not seen any Kevin Smith movies or are not a fan of his work, you won’t have a good time. This movie is very Kevin Smith in that most of the jokes are inside jokes that reference all his other works. I have seen most of his work and I had trouble following some of the jokes. That said, I enjoyed the format of this movie.

The reboot seems to be an essay about the state of modern cinema interwoven in the conclusion of a long-running series. Kevin Smith uses a lot of dialogue to criticize Hollywood and his work. The movie also works as a conclusion to Jay’s narrative. If you have been following the series, you know that Jay starts as this goofy drug dealer, but slowly he has become a selfish and almost heroic character. I believe this movie was a great way to end his story.

I do have a few issues with the movie. The meta jokes get tired and repetitive. The third act is slow and stops suddenly. The minority characters serve as tokens and hold very little weight. The movie cannot stand on its own without being some kind of Kevin Smith fan. It isn’t a bad movie by any means. Some genuinely funny moments had me crying. The acting is fine. The movie was fun for me, but I like his style of film making and I got a lot of the references.

There is a lot I like about this movie, but the cost of admission for this movie is too high. Don’t let this be your first Kevin Smith movie, you will not understand it. If you don’t like his style of movie-making, I would skip this one. This movie is Kevin Smith the movie. If you are a fan of Kevin Smith’s work, then you probably already watched it. If not, it is included with your Prime Membership.

Movie Reviews, movies

Prime Movie Reviews: Defendor (2009)

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Defendor is another Average Joe Superhero movie. The movie has the delightful casting of Woody Harrelson; his charm is infectious in this movie. Harrelson plays Arthur, a man with mental disabilities who fights crime as Defendor.

What sets this movie apart is Arthur. Arthur has this strong sense of justice and duty that he has emulated from his comic books. There are moments when he shows some bits of his humanity, but his personality changes when he puts on the costume. Watching the contrast between Defendor and Arthur is well executed. Defendor isn’t a great fighter and often gets beat up, but that never stopped him. His real superpower is his determination to his cause. Don’t go into this movie expecting well-choreographed fights. The fights are filmed to fit the narrative. Defendor uses gadgets like marbles or wasps to create confusion and uses that confusion to get an advantage. They are fun to watch. And don’t get me started on his catch phrases. They are the icing to the whole movie!

The movie is a little slow at times. It bounces around from different aspects of his life as he tries to stop his nemesis Captain Industry.
The film spends a lot of time effectively building a back story for Defendor. The film also does a great job showing the impact that Defendor and Author make on the world. This film is successful at telling a compelling superhero story with what it has.

But, this film is not for everyone. The pacing can be a problem, especially towards the middle. But if you have an Amazon Prime membership and two hours to kill, there are worse ways to spend it.

Movie Reviews, movies

Super Hot (2021) Review

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Let me start by stating that this is not a good movie. The plot has too many holes for it to be sound. The acting is over the top and cheesy. The twist and the ending are predictable. That said, I loved this movie. This is one of those bad movies that are fun to watch.

What saves this movie for me are the main characters. The charisma and the chemistry they share are worth watching. I believed they were just a group of goofy friends who stumbled onto something dangerous. This movie should not be taken seriously. It embraces this fact. The silly tone that it embraces fosters the charm that I love.

This film is not for everyone. As I said, it does have a lot of problems. But if you do end up watching it, please don’t take it too seriously. Sit back and enjoy the wacky cartoonish ride.

If you have Amazon Prime, it is included in your membership. I’ve said it before; you can do a lot worse for free.

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Blood Fest (2018) Review

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This was an incredibly frustrating movie. Not because it was bad, but because it was lazy. I didn’t expect much from a company that primarily focuses on short videos for the internet and yet I still found myself being let down. I understand that I am not the target audience, but that won’t stop me from criticizing whatever you want to call this. Rooster Teeth makes content for fans of Rooster teeth. This creates clear limitations to the narrative they can tell because the movie will stop multiple times to add poorly placed, pace-stopping fan service. These desperate attempts come in the form of cameos and jokes that add little to the movie. And maybe that is the point but if you are not a fan of Rooster Teeth or are familiar with any of its content creators, it is alienating.

The movie plays like a bad parody. The main characters traverse through this dystopian Disneyland of horror movie tropes without dying. It honestly feels like a series that is connected by terrible dubstep and rooster teeth reference. It might have been better as a web series and it would eliminate all the unnecessary fluff used to pad the movie. Anytime this movie starts to build any tension, it stops to make a dumb joke that never lands.

This movie is very monotone. The meta nature of the movie doesn’t leave any wiggle room for storytelling and instead, you get a lot of bad references to better movies. The over the top acting might be good for a web series, but it overstays its welcome. It is sad because the actors show that they can be charismatic and likable at points, but that charisma is wasted on the terrible writing.

Ultimately, this movie is generic. I knew how the movie was going to end within the first minutes of the movie. I knew where each scene was going to go. My issue isn’t that the movie is bad, I have seen worse, it is that it is boring. You move from parody to parody waiting for the obvious jokes until you get to the obvious twist and it is a huge letdown. There are a few ways this could have been done better but I don’t want to spoil the movie in that regard.

This movie wasn’t made for me. If you aren’t a 13-year-old or a fan of Rooster Teeth fan, this movie is going to be boring. I am disappointed and frustrated that I wasted so much time on an incredibly lazy movie.