You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah isn’t the worst movie to come out of Happy Madison Productions, but it isn’t worth watching either. This flat coming-of-age story suffers from its dull narrative and even duller lead. While the movie does present interesting commentary on cultural identity and maturity, it doesn’t do enough to stick out against the enormous catalog of stories that make up the genre. If you are thinking of watching this movie, there are better options you should be watching instead.
Stacy is prepping for her Bat Mitzvah and obsesses over the party that will define the rest of her life. But her desire to be popular put her life in a downward spiral. The big defining moment she has always dreamed of is turning into a nightmare. Can she learn from her mistakes and find a place where she belongs?
The film earns a couple of genuine laughs and makes some interesting points about religious, cultural, and personal identity, but doesn’t go deep enough. Stacy and her peers have a general indifference to the traditions as they focus on relationships, status, and social media. At first, Stacy finds preparing for her Bat Mitzvah as a chore, something she needs to do to have her party. There are moments in the movie where she even questions whether she is Jewish because she has to or because it is who she is. I love this idea of heritage and a modern personal identity clashing because it is such a tangible human experience. This ceremony is coming to her at a pivotal point in her development when she is still trying to figure out who she is and where she stands in her society. She wants to be treated like a grown-up, she wants to be popular, and she wants the party, but doesn’t understand where Judaism fits in that. She doesn’t resent her Jewish identity, it just doesn’t take precedence in what defines her yet. It is only after talking to her elders and learning from her mistakes that she learns to value this identity and the work she puts towards Bat Mitzvah.
The problem I have with Stacy’s transformation is that it comes too suddenly. The build-up to her grand gesture feels forced like it was done because the movie needed a happy ending and not because Stacy learns from her mistakes. I would have liked to see her connect with the teachings, or even find value in the stories told to her. There are some very cool moments where her elders talk to her about being Jewish or being a woman, but the movie makes it seem like she comes to her transformation on her own after she hits bottom. This makes these moments feel meaningless in the grand scheme, even though they were often the better parts of the movie. But, this could be a bias of wanting there to be a lot less Stacy in this film.
I liked that they didn’t make her a perfect, quirky, artsy girl as you see throughout the genre, and I like that she makes terrible decisions, but her character falls flat. Her obsession with being popular consumes her to the point where she becomes a terrible person, but she learns from her mistakes and grows as a person. That part is fine. The problem is that she ruins her best friend’s Bat Mitzvah over a petty moment she created, and we’re supposed to forgive her because the script says so. I get kids make mistakes, but there is a line between being terrible and messing up. I don’t think the grand gesture was enough to earn the apology, but I might just be a bitter old man yelling at clouds.
The other reason this movie doesn’t work is that the lead lacks the charisma to carry this movie. I found scenes involving Stacy to be boring, which is a problem in a movie where she is the main character. Don’t get me wrong, the performance isn’t terrible. I have seen enough bad movies to know that it could have been a lot worse, but it also isn’t worth sitting through. I know this movie is going to get hate because of the Nepotism, but I don’t think a better actor could have made the movie better. At least it’s better than After Earth.
As a movie that was made to fill up Netflix’s catalog, it’s fine. It tries to tell a story, has passable acting, and makes a few solid points about identity. There are definitely worse options available. You can watch You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah on Netflix, but your time is better spent elsewhere.
Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead is a fun but cheesy live action adaptation of a pretty cool concept that should at least be on your watch list
My first exposure to Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead is the live-action movie on Netflix, and absolutely love it. I understand the stigma behind live-action adaptations, but if you ignore the source material, it works. Zom 100:Bucket List of the Dead is a quirky and cute road trip comedy about a zombie apocalypse that should at least be on your watch list.
Akira believes he’s gotten his dream job after graduation but discovers he works for an exploitative company that has no problem working him to the bone. Akira spends the next year of his life as a zombie for his company, working tirelessly at a job he hates. Luckily for Akira, there is a zombie outbreak to free him from his misery. For the first time since he started his job, he is free to do whatever he wants, and he plans not to waste this new freedom. Akira makes a bucket list of the 100 things he wants to do before he turns into a zombie and sets off to complete it.
I love the contrast between the corporate life Akira had and the one he has in the apocalypse. Akira will often remember how miserable he was before the zombie outbreak and use that as motivation to live his life to the fullest. It is a very unique take on the genre because the story isn’t about a group of people simply surviving, but rather a quirky road trip comedy of people learning how to live.
The live-action movie is incredibly over the top and cheesy, but it gives the movie its charm. The tone is silly, the action is over the top, the soundtrack is fantastic, and the story is cute. I love the references to Super Sentai and how exaggerated the action scenes are. The music they choose for the action scenes made this movie for me. If you want to watch a fun cheesy movie and enjoy some cool JPop, watch this movie.
I love this movie and have already watched it a few times. I recommend you check it out in the original Japanese, but the English dubbing is a solid option for enjoying this movie. If you a cheesy road trip comedy with a solid story, this is a cute one with a lot of charm. I don’t know how it compares to the source material, but intend to soon. You can stream Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead on Netflix.
The Beanie Bubble is a poor attempt at capturing a weird moment in history that you aren’t missing out on.
I have never enjoyed movies that are based on real people or events, and The Beanie Bubble is no exception. This movie is about the women responsible for creating the bubble and the man responsible for popping it. If you want to know the history around the Beanie Baby bubble, there are probably podcasts, YouTube videos, or articles that do a better job. This is a boring attempt to sensationalize an odd moment in history. It isn’t worth your time.
The acting and production are solid. The cast is fantastic, the colors and costumes are beautiful, and there is some cool editing. Unfortunately, the writing and the way this story is told is terrible. The movie jumps between three different women, jumbling the timeline and bringing it all together at the end. It’s an interesting idea, but the story isn’t interesting enough for it to work. The movie relies too heavily on narration, and the narration is overbearing. A lot of the plot is told through explanations of important events and internal monologues, essentially turning this into an expensive podcast. The tone of the narration becomes an issue because when it isn’t too quirky for its own good, it feels like the narrator is talking down to the audience. It also makes the movie boring to sit through.
The movie was intended to be an inspiring story of an empowered woman triumphing over a terrible man, but it was poorly executed. The monologues and dialogue are generic and lazy, Ty is too cartoonishly villainous to be taken seriously, and the sensationalized tone takes away from the woman’s accomplishments. When the pivotal moment comes when the woman breaks off from Ty, it doesn’t feel monumental because the women don’t feel real, and I had stopped caring a long time ago.
The biggest issue with this movie is that it tries to cash in on 90s nostalgia when people have moved on to something else. This movie throws up 90s nostalgia and will stop to show its audience how 90s it is. This slows down the movie and takes away from a story that isn’t good to begin with.
I wouldn’t bother with this movie. It may not be terrible, but it isn’t good either. If you lived through the craze, or are curious about it, there are better sources out there for this story. You can stream The Beanie Bubble on Apple TV, but I wouldn’t bother.
Happy Madison’s The Out-Laws is a bland comedy that will leave no impressions
The Out-Laws is one of those Adam Sandler movies you can skip because you are going to forget you watched it. It isn’t one the worst movies to come from his studio, but it doesn’t do enough to be worth your time. This movie feels like it was made to fill the quota Netflix set for Sander. The result is a lazy, poorly-written comedy that may get a couple of laughs, but not enough to earn its spot on your watchlist.
Adam Devine, who plays his goofy usual self, is marrying a girl who is clearly out of his league. Days before the wedding, his future in-laws make a sudden appearance and announce they will attend the wedding. But their checkered past catches up to them, and now Adam Devine needs to help them rob a bank to save his future fiance from a crazy gypsy mob queen. Can they rob enough banks before the wedding?
It should go without saying that this movie has no plot. It feels like a series of skits held together by the dumb heist movie and Adam Devine. Most of the gags are unfunny and go on for too long, but there will be the occasional joke that will make you laugh. Not enough to make this movie worth watching, but enough to make it tolerable. There is a lot of singing, lazy jokes, body humor, and Adam Davine being silly to pad out a movie that already feels too long for Netflix. I get the sense that this movie might be better under the influence of marijuana, but even then, there are better comedies you could be watching instead.
The Out-Laws isn’t the worst movie that has come out of Happy Madison Productions, but it isn’t entertaining either. My issue with a lot of original streaming content is that they only exist to pad out a library. The race to create original content comes at the cost of quality, and while they may have the time to make this garbage, we don’t have time to watch it. A lot of the stuff I’ve been watching lately gets forgotten, or it’s so bad I can’t bring myself to finish it. This is one of those movies I’ve already forgotten I watched. It isn’t funny enough to watch again, or good enough to recommend. This movie didn’t break me like others have, but it also didn’t leave much of an impression. You can stream it on Netflix, but your time is better spent elsewhere.
Movie Review: The Super Mario Bros. Movie
I wasn’t going to write about The Super Mario Bros. Movie, but I needed to talk about something that bothered me about the movie. It’s not a bad kids’ movie. If you have to sit through this with your kids, you’ve probably already sat through it, and it wasn’t too bad. If you haven’t and can stream it later, you won’t hate it. It’s colorful, there are a lot of fun references to the games, and the soundtrack is amazing. The plot is simple and could use better character development, but it is a kids’ movie. It certainly isn’t the worst video game movie to date.
My issue with this movie is with the choice of voice actors. I have nothing against Pratt or the rest of the cast, but I couldn’t help but feel disappointed by the performances. Most of the characters sounded like the actors talking through the script. Scenes with Bowser are especially jarring because while Jack Black is giving a fantastic performance, the rest of the cast wasn’t. They should have hired real voice actors. The Super Mario Bros. Movie is full of amazing talent, but unfortunately, that talent didn’t translate into the voice acting.
I am getting tired of these kinds of miscasting and movies written around named brand actors. I hate that the business has turned into tricking people into watching mediocre and lazy movies because of who is in them. I wish that instead, the focus would be on better writing and actors that fit the role. It is a lot to ask for, especially with the writer’s strike going on, but it shouldn’t be unreasonable. I sit through a lot of garbage and will continue to do so, but the homogony wears on me, and we deserve better.
Anyways, if you haven’t watched this movie, I would wait till you can stream it or watch it for free. If you have kids, it’s a great movie to throw on. You will zone out, but it isn’t terrible. If you are trying to watch a good animated movie, I suggest you look elsewhere. I suggest throwing this movie on in the background because the soundtrack has some bangers, but the rest is pretty mediocre.
By Universal, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=68810546https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnGl01FkMMo&ab_channel=Illumination
Movie Review: Renfield (2023)
Renfield is just an okay movie. While I appreciate the fantastic over-the-top performance Cage gives as Dracula, it leaves a lot to be desired. The film isn’t bad, but it isn’t worth paying for. If you are thinking of watching this movie, I hold off till you can watch it for free.
Renfield finds himself in a toxic relationship with his employer, Dracula. He wishes to be a hero and have his own life but finds himself imprisoned by duty and obligation. After centuries of servitude, Renfield finally finds the courage to leave Dracula’s employment, but his leaving could prove the end of Humanity. Will Renfield become the hero he wishes to be, or is he destined to be a miserable servant?
The movie has a solid start but comes apart towards the end. The second half was so boring that I considered leaving the theater. There are enough good moments in this film that I can’t count it as the worst, but there aren’t enough to earn a recommendation. Aside from the emblematic Cage performance, the acting is barely good enough. Where the movie suffers is Awkwafina’s attempt at a more serious role. Unfortunately, Awkwafina is destined to be a character actor for the remainder of her career. This isn’t a bad thing. I enjoy her character and movies that use her well get a healthy laugh out of me, but she doesn’t have the range to play anything else. The writing might have limited her success, but it does so for everyone else as well.
This movie is fine if you can stream it at home and don’t have to pay attention to it. It has some solid moments, but nothing you should be rushing to see. If you do watch Renfield, you can give up halfway through, or just watch the highlights on YouTube.
Movie Review: A Tourist’s Guide to Love
I just watched A Tourist’s Guide to Love, and it is as cheesy as you’d expect. While I prefer it to Ghosted, it is a hard movie to recommend because the writing is terrible. This movie is another lazy generic romance movie, but one with decent actors who give solid performances.
Amanda finds herself trapped in her boring routined life. When her boyfriend of five years breaks up with her, she goes on a work trip to Vietnam. Amanda intended to do research for her job, but she discovers something more meaningful. She finds love. Her charming handsome tour guide shows her more than just the sights; he shows her how to be her truest self. But will this adventure give Amanda the courage to follow her heart, or will her business get in the way of love?
A Tourist’s Guide to Love is a bad movie, but the actors save it from being terrible. I commend the actors for doing their best with what they were given, but they deserve a better script. The plot is generic, lazy, and forgettable. There isn’t much to say about this movie because it doesn’t do anything you haven’t seen in other generic romance movies. If you enjoy the genre, you might appreciate it a bit better, but I am not sure anyone can stomach how cheesy this movie gets. The best bits of this movie is when it occasionally flashes bits of the beautiful Vietnamese scenery.
This movie has me in a weird place because it is bad, but I’ve seen a lot worse. That said, I already forgot I watched it. Don’t watch this movie unless you enjoy watching cheesy romantic movies. Even then, I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. For those still curious, you can stream it on Netflix.
Movie Review: 65 (2023)
65 is a solid B movie with sufficient action, story, and cool-looking dinosaurs. It isn’t winning any awards, and it is a bit slow, but it is fine for what it is. If you are curious about watching this movie, throw it on in the background and enjoy the good bits. Adam Driver is transporting groups of people across space to make money for his sickly child. His latest mission is interrupted by an uncharted asteroid system that forces him to make an emergency crash landing on an undiscovered planet. He and a young girl are the ship’s only survivors. Now the two must brave a world full of dinosaurs as they make their way to the only remaining escape pod. Can they make it off this planet? The leads have good enough chemistry to make a movie with very little dialogue work. I do take some issue with the little girls’ problematic representation, but it wasn’t so bad that I had to turn it off. I would have preferred it if they spoke the same language, but the movie handles the language barrier well enough. This movie is dumb. The story is on the generic side, the science is too magical, and there is a fair amount of ex-Machina. There are also some slow bits you could gloss over, but the movie is fine. It’s fun to watch Adam Driver blasting away Dinosaurs, and the relationship the forms between the two leads is cute. It’s not a movie you should be rushing to, but it is an option when you need something in the background that doesn’t require your full attention. I liked it enough to watch it again, and I liked it a whole lot better than After Earth. So throw it on, skip through the slow bits, and enjoy this silly bit of alternate history.
Movie Review: Ghosted (2023)
I just watch Ghosted, but I wish I didn’t. This has to be one of the laziest and most boring action films I have seen, and I have sat through some terrible movies. This movie is so boring that Anna Del Armas slept through her whole performance. This movie is so boring that the best part is when they played My Sharona, even though the action scene it belongs to is terrible. For those few who were thinking of watching this movie, don’t. It is a huge waste of time.
A farmer meets a girl at a farmers market and falls madly in love with her after one date. She ghosts him. Instead of taking the hint and moving on, the farmer tracks her down without her knowledge to attempt a big romantic gesture. Instead of finding romance, the farmer finds himself in the middle of a covert CIA operation. It turns out that the love is life is a secret agent. Will he be able to find love between the rain of bullets and lies?
Ghosted starts off as one of the most awkward romcoms but quickly turns into an incredibly generic action movie. This movie doesn’t work. There is absolutely no chemistry between the leads, which was essential for this movie’s success. I blame the lack of chemistry and mediocre acting on the terrible writing. The writing for this movie is lazy. You can guess down to specific lines what will happen next. At least they had they lacked the nerve to sequel bait because that would have thrown me over a ledge.
As an action movie, it doesn’t work because the action is boring. I preferred the romcom bits of the plot because at least sometimes it would be funny. For this movie to work, it needed a tangible villain and real stakes, anything to make it less goofy.
The worst part of this movie was the couple. They meet after a very awkward and obnoxious fight and somehow still end up going on a date The guy, who everyone agrees is obsessive, uses a tracking device that only he knows about to track the romantic interest. The movie tries to play it like the male lead is quirky, but it is creepy. It doesn’t make sense when in the end they are in love because there is no reason for them to be.
I knew Ghosted was going to be bad when I saw how hard Apple was pushing it up to its release. They even shamelessly collected name-brand actors for seconds of cameos to trick people into watching this garbage. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen all the good parts. It even shows you bits of the climax. I avoided using names in this review because the characters are so generic that the names don’t matter. You can watch this movie on Apple TV, but I wouldn’t waste my time. Go watch Killers instead. That movie does this plot a lot better.
Movie Review: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
While Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania isn’t the worst movie in the MCU, it isn’t worth watching either. I am glad I didn’t watch this in theaters, but I can’t justify streaming it either. The movie just feels lazy, uninspired, and anticlimactic.
An accident sends the Ant family into the quantum realm where they find another universe and a unique culture to go with it. But an evil tyrant has taken over the quantum realm and has set his sights on the Ant family. Can they beat the tyrant and save the universe?
There isn’t anything spectacular about this movie. I struggle to remember what happened, and its plot will probably fade into obscurity as soon as I publish this review. The acting feels muted, the writing isn’t good, and the action is boring. The biggest issue with this movie is the silly tone it carries throughout. Instead of building proper tension and suspense, it cuts it with a joke or gag that doesn’t always work. There are characters in this movie that exist to be a joke, never contributing anything meaningful to the plot. Even the lazy sequel bait is riddled with overused jokes that don’t land.
Another issue I have with this film is that they underutilize the villain. Instead of developing the villain and giving him a proper presence, they waste on the pointless drama that no one cares about. The villain only exists when he becomes convenient. Outside of these moments, he doesn’t exist. The tension in this movie comes from poorly written family issues, and King feels like an afterthought. We are told he is powerful and evil, and then he is easily beaten by ex-Machina. King could have been an interesting character if everything about him wasn’t so vague and he showed up to do anything meaningful.
The action of this movie feels like a generic attempt to emulate the rest of the MCU. The build-up to the climax is muddied by the silly tone this movie insists on having. As fun, as this movie tries to be, it never is. The big fight at the end feels like every super hero last-stand fight, so I stopped caring.
I don’t recommend you watch Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Everything takes too long to happen, the action isn’t fun, and the story is boring. It isn’t the worst MCU movie, but it is going to be one of the forgettable ones. Don’t pay for it. If you end up streaming it, throw it in the background so you can ignore all the boring bits. I recommend you skip this one unless you are super invested in the MCU. Even then, it is going to be a hard sell.