I just watch Ghosted, but I wish I didn’t. This has to be one of the laziest and most boring action films I have seen, and I have sat through some terrible movies. This movie is so boring that Anna Del Armas slept through her whole performance. This movie is so boring that the best part is when they played My Sharona, even though the action scene it belongs to is terrible. For those few who were thinking of watching this movie, don’t. It is a huge waste of time.
A farmer meets a girl at a farmers market and falls madly in love with her after one date. She ghosts him. Instead of taking the hint and moving on, the farmer tracks her down without her knowledge to attempt a big romantic gesture. Instead of finding romance, the farmer finds himself in the middle of a covert CIA operation. It turns out that the love is life is a secret agent. Will he be able to find love between the rain of bullets and lies?
Ghosted starts off as one of the most awkward romcoms but quickly turns into an incredibly generic action movie. This movie doesn’t work. There is absolutely no chemistry between the leads, which was essential for this movie’s success. I blame the lack of chemistry and mediocre acting on the terrible writing. The writing for this movie is lazy. You can guess down to specific lines what will happen next. At least they had they lacked the nerve to sequel bait because that would have thrown me over a ledge.
As an action movie, it doesn’t work because the action is boring. I preferred the romcom bits of the plot because at least sometimes it would be funny. For this movie to work, it needed a tangible villain and real stakes, anything to make it less goofy.
The worst part of this movie was the couple. They meet after a very awkward and obnoxious fight and somehow still end up going on a date The guy, who everyone agrees is obsessive, uses a tracking device that only he knows about to track the romantic interest. The movie tries to play it like the male lead is quirky, but it is creepy. It doesn’t make sense when in the end they are in love because there is no reason for them to be.
I knew Ghosted was going to be bad when I saw how hard Apple was pushing it up to its release. They even shamelessly collected name-brand actors for seconds of cameos to trick people into watching this garbage. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen all the good parts. It even shows you bits of the climax. I avoided using names in this review because the characters are so generic that the names don’t matter. You can watch this movie on Apple TV, but I wouldn’t waste my time. Go watch Killers instead. That movie does this plot a lot better.
Movie Review: Your Christmas or Mine? (2022)
On the third day of my Christmas marathon, I finally found a good one. I started this venture assuming everything I watched till Christmas was going to be a disappointment, but then Your Christmas or Mine? came around and surprised me. While it is still your typical Christmas story, it is able to charm and entertain its audience. If you are searching for another movie to watch this holiday, consider this one.
Your Christmas or Mine? is the quirky story of a couple who end up attending the wrong Christmas. Hayley and James are heading home to spend Christmas apart. But right before the trains depart, they decide to board the opposite train. They plan to surprise one another at their final destination. But things don’t go as planned, and the couple is each stranded in a strange city with no way to get back. The two will spend time with each other’s family. James gets to spend his night with Hayley’s quirky family, while Haley is stuck with a grinch of a man. By the time Christmas comes around, the couple will grow more in love and full of Christmas spirit.
This is a cute movie because the actors have the charisma to make this movie work. At its core, this is still a cheesy Christmas movie, but one with enough charm where it doesn’t matter. Your Christmas or Mine? is quirky in a way that isn’t annoying, funny in a way that doesn’t try too hard, and better than the other movies in the genre I have had to sit through this year. It may not win awards or become engrained into the Christmas culture, but it will entertain.
Christmas is around the corner and if you need a movie to get you in the Christmas spirit, give this a chance. You can stream it on Amazon video if you have a prime membership.
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Movie Review: The Competition(2018)
I had to gut this review because every draft before this was too long. I was beginning to nitpick every aspect of this movie out of frustration, but this movie doesn’t deserve it. The Competition is bad and you should avoid it.
The competition is supposed to be a quirky rom-com about an intelligent woman who views love and relationships scientifically. She creates an arbitrary formula that can predict when a someone will cheat in a relationship, but has never actually tested it. This formula is to the test when she falls in love with a man who was bribed to go out with her. Together they decide to test this formula by trying to trick five different people into cheating on their significant other. The outcome of this test will determine the outcome of their relationship. It is a lot dumber and annoying than you can imagine.
This writing is terrible, the acting is stiff and awkward, and the plot is pseudoscience garbage. I’m not sure what upsets me more, the lack of science from a movie that desperately tries to convince its audience otherwise, or the irredeemable main characters you are supposed to be rooting for.
The experiment they have is gross and unethical. This three million dollar idea wouldn’t produce a valid conclusion because the sample size is way too small and the test is heavily skewed to prove her hypothesis. The main character is insufferable. She is cocky and condescending without any real reason other than she’s good at making formulas. The formula behind this whole movie is one with arbitrary variables that she herself gages with a personal scale. This is the dumbest most frustrating movie I’ve seen in a while. It took me multiple breaks to get through this movie and it isn’t worth the trouble.
You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.
Movie Review: I Want You Back (2022)
Despite what you may think about romantic comedies, “I Want You Back” is one that you should at least consider. Jenny Slate and Charlie Day work spectacularly together! This movie is well-written, well-acted, and delightful at its worst. If you have an Amazon Prime subscription, you need to see this now.
Something to think about before going into this movie is that the characters’ morals are a bit hazy. This movie features two heartbroken characters who find comfort in each other’s company. They have recently gone through a hard breakup and are learning to cope with being alone. This movie does a great job of showing how difficult heartbreak is to overcome. The two plot to help each other break up their ex-partners. This plot is problematic because the main characters are set to ruin relationships and lives for selfish motives. This genre tends to have these problematic immoralities because love makes people do crazy things. In this case, I can excuse it because the journey is well worth the immorality.
The best part about this movie is watching the relationship between the two leads blossom. The chemistry they share is the reason you should watch this movie. The supporting cast is nothing to scoff at. Together they tell a very entertaining story that I must recommend to everyone. As a bonus, this movie has a great musical number. It is beautifully performed and perfectly woven into the plot. I enjoyed it thoroughly. If you have little interest in this movie, that moment is very much worth your time, but it makes more sense in context.
Watch this even if you don’t like the genre. This brings new life to a genre that has been a bit stagnant as of late. It is a nice date night movie, but I would argue that it is a fun anytime movie.
New to Town (2009) Review – A love story they should have told better
I will not sit here and try to sell you on a movie that is mediocre at best. The plot is generic and contrived and there is no chemistry between the main characters. It is hard to watch a love story about two people who only seem to only tolerate each other. The movie does try to address some deep issues like how corporate America can ruin small rural towns, but it does not go deep enough. It shouldn’t, it is a rom com, but these scenes are more thought out and impressive than the romantic plot that seems to be thrown in there out of necessity.
The biggest problem with this movie is the pacing. They mix so many plots that they leave very little time to flesh any of them out fully. When she shifts from hating the town to wanting to save it seems to come almost out of nowhere because it is so sudden. I wish they would have abandoned the romance plot, that being the weakest in the movie. I wish movies like this would stop defining woman’s happiness by their relationship with me and instead focus on the deeper non-romantic connections they could make. If you take out the romance plot from this movie, it could turn into a heartwarming film about a woman who wants to save a town because of the friendships she has made in the process.
I would argue that it is the relationship that Blanche forges with Lucy that ultimately saves the town. The character Blanche is the only reason why I enjoyed this movie as much as I did. I Stopped following Lucy’s narrative early on because she is a generic character. Instead, I chose to follow Blanche closely. Blanche starts out the movie as this almost overbearing presence. She doesn’t stop talking and she is always inserting herself into Lucy’s life. But as the movie progresses it’s clear that Blanche is going out of her way to make sure Lucy feels welcomed in her town. I believe that her motives are altruistic and Blanche’s kindness is indeed genuine. This overbearing presence she has slowly becomes normal and scenes without her seem lifeless. I think the film does a great job at showing this progression of from annoying to friendly not only for Lucy, but for the audience as well. I think this friendship was the most important aspect of this films plot and I wish they developed it a lot more.
My main issue with this movie is the love interest. They could have dropped him from the movie and it would not have changed the plot. He has such little impact in this movie that I forget his name. Instead, they should have taken more time to develop Lucy’s relationship with the town. They could have shown her slowly building a rapport with the townspeople and maybe even start developing a routine. They could have shown her going into a shop and the owner knows her by name and what she likes to order. I would have rather seen a heartwarming scene between Blanche and Lucy instead of the messy fight she has in the factory with the workers. This movie should have been more about her relationship with the town and factory.
If you are looking for a good romantic comedy, you have already seen better. Go watch those instead. If you are looking for a dumb movie to put in the background while you do chores, this is a valid choice. It could make a fun date night movie, the plot is simple and you do not need to pay attention to the movie to get the gist. There are worse ways to spend an hour and some change, but you probably won’t remember watching this movie.