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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Karate Kid (2010)

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I remember watching this in theaters when it first came out. I also remember the disappointment I felt after watching it. It’s been a while since then, and I thought that time and the fact that it is free would dull the disappointment, but it hasn’t. I am still as disappointed as I was before, but somehow it stings more.

This movie is a shameless rehashing of the Karate kids franchise, but you are better off watching all the originals. This is beat for beat the first Karate kid, although it does borrow elements from its sequels. The acting is awkward, the story is dumb, and it lacks the charm of the originals. I don’t believe Jaden Smith has the acting ability that his father wishes he had, and as a result, we’ve gotten a series of bad movies that aren’t worth your time. Maybe he’s a better musician, but I don’t see any awards in his future.

I am glad the Karate Kid Franchise got its proper reboot with Kobra Kai. If you haven’t seen that show, I highly recommend it. There is a bit of high school drama that you can skip over, but overall it is a nice continuation of the saga.

You can find this movie on YouTube for free, but I wouldn’t bother.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Exit Strategy (2012)

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Exit Strategy was a difficult sit because of how hard it tries to be quirky and funny. The problem with this movie is that the actors aren’t charismatic enough to make the movie work. The poor script and mediocre acting lead to some very flat performances and a film that is never funny. To make matters worse, the sound in this movie is horrible. I can forgive bad writing and acting but never bad sound.

The movie is about a man who finds himself trapped in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. The girlfriend is comically insane and the harder he tries to leave, the stronger the hold she has over him becomes. The movie tries to focus on the absurdity of the situation, and a lot of the comedy is intended to come from the wacky antics its quirky characters get into, but none of the characters are quirky enough to pull it off.

This movie was a struggle as I waited for credits that took too long to roll. The jokes never land, the situations are never funny, and the story is terrible. I felt as trapped as the protagonist is supposed to feel watching a movie that got progressively worse with time. I will say that the editing was interesting. Scenes will repeat or skip and the movie would recall previous dialogue in sound bites. It gave the movie the feel like it was a nightmare, too bad this wasn’t a better movie.

You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Heat (1995)

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If you want to see a classic and thrilling heist movie, you can find Heat free on YouTube. This heist movie focuses on a cat and mouse chase as a cop and a crook battle it out in the mean streets of Los Angeles. You have a fantastic cast telling an amazing story, what more can you ask for? Do not be intimidated by the almost three hours run time, this movie is worth every minute.

The acting in this movie is amazing with action to match. What I love about this movie is how good it is at telling the story. It pieces together different narratives in a way that never slows the pacing of the movie. I love how it is able to tell a story with small scenes or moments. You have a cop dealing with his crumbling marriage as his obsession with his job interferes with his life. You have the story of a young girl working with her abandonment issues. You have the crook who is addicted to the game, and the movie becomes more of the chase than the score. These stories blend together and build up to a final satisfying confrontation. It is brilliant, and if you haven’t seen this movie, you should do so now! You can find it free on YouTube.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Burning Kentucky (2019)

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Burning Kentucky is a very unremarkable movie about loss and grief that you haven’t heard of for good reason. It isn’t a bad movie, but it leaves no tangible impression. I struggle to remember what this movie is about and I just watched it. You can find it free on YouTube, but you are better off watching anything else.

The movie focuses on a family dealing with the loss of the matriarch of the family. Some of the members drown their grief with drugs and alcohol, while others begin to move past it. Throughout the movie, you get insight into the death through different perspectives, each revealing a dark secret. It would be well done if the story was interesting and the acting was better, but it’s not.

The acting is mediocre at best, but most people can’t stick to an accent. The story isn’t interesting. I liked that it would focus on people dealing with grief, but the whole movie feels like it is hitting certain emotional beats to create interest. There are some cool shots in this movie, but it isn’t worth the trouble. It isn’t the worst thing I’ve seen on YouTube, but I definitely won’t remember it.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1988)

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I watched the Bill and Ted reboot and was disappointed. It didn’t have the same charm that the originals had, so I lost interest pretty quickly. After the reboot, I feared that maybe my memory of the original movies was skewed by my youthful ignorance. It is because of this fear that I have been avoiding rewatching this movie for a while now. Today I bit the bullet and I am pleasantly satisfied with how well Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure holds up. Some of the jokes do not hold up, but overall the story is solid and is still worth your time.

I love Bill and Ted as protagonists. A lot of this movie’s charm comes from how well they are played. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter have amazing chemistry and have helped create an incredibly iconic duo. What I like most is that they aren’t just silly dumb one-note characters. Although they are aloof by nature, they learn from the events of their adventure and grow because of it. Bill and Ted are not the same characters they started as despite them still being aloof.

This is a most excellent movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. You can also find the sequel on YouTube as well. Check them out if you have some time, and remember, party on dudes.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Overboard (1987)

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The plot of the original Overboard makes me uncomfortable because of the unethical misogyny. A man takes in a woman who has lost her memory and tricks her into being the perfect housewife. If you like cheesy 80’s comedies and you can overlook this flaw, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have enough charisma and chemistry to make this movie salvageable. Otherwise, you can skip this and be fine. 

Don’t get me wrong, I did not hate this movie, but there are bits that make me uncomfortable. I don’t agree with how they treated Goldie Hawn’s character at the start of her kidnapping. While it might be excusable because she was a nightmare at the start of the film, it was a bit excessive and mean. It is also problematic that a woman who has never worked a day in her life learns instinctually how to be the perfect mother and housewife over a period of a couple of days. If the acting in this movie wasn’t as good as it is, I wouldn’t have finished this movie. I don’t know how it compares to the remake, but I am glad they did the gender swap. This movie would not be successful with a modern audience. 

If you like cheesy 80’s movies, this one is fine. This movie has a very specific audience, and if you aren’t in that group, I wouldn’t bother looking it up. That said, you can watch it for free on YouTube.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Last Holiday (2006)

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Queen Latifah proves once again that she can be good in anything. This isn’t a very good movie, but I can’t deny that her performance gives this movie its life. I liked it when I watched it long ago, but watching it again came with the uncomfortable realization that Last Holiday has not aged well. It is a bit too cartoonish, and I can never be comfortable with the tokenism.

Last Holiday is about Georgia, a woman who lives a very restricted life because she is waiting for a perfect moment that might never come. She saves her money, clips coupons, only eats lean cuisines, and never makes any unnecessary waves in the world. This changes when she is given only three weeks to live. She spends those three weeks fulfilling everything in her book of possibilities.

As far as bucket lists movies go, this one will always have a special place in my heart. I am biased. I like the light-hearted tone mixed with some very valid criticism about life and greed. It does get a bit preachy at points, and some scenes are difficult to watch, but it isn’t unwatchable. While her performance is amazing, there are some actors that lack the ability. The plot is a bit on the wacky side and some of the bits aren’t as funny as they used to be. I loved the scenes where she talks to the French chef. It was in these moments that the movie wasn’t trying too hard to be funny and wacky, and although the performance wasn’t great, it was a real and authentic exchange. I wish the rest of the movie carried this tone, but then it wouldn’t be a comedy. 

You can watch this movie on YouTube for free. My only suggestion is that you throw this up in the background while you work on other stuff. There are a few scenes you can skip. Last Holiday is average at best, but Queen Latifah is as fantastic as always.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Don’t Get Caught (2018)

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Don’t Get Caught is an action stoner comedy that you haven’t heard of for good reason. This lazy and uninspired movie does not deserve your time. The acting is horrible, the editing is terrible, and there is no plot. You can find this movie free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth the trouble. There is absolutely no amount of weed in this world that would make this movie even a little funny.

Don’t Get Caught is about a couple of guys who stumble on a weed farm one day. They decide to steal the weed and sell it for profit. Unfortunately, the owner of the field finds out and wants his product back. This escalates to what is possibly one of the dumbest shootouts in history. They kill the biker gang, save the stripper, and get to keep all the money.

There are a couple of celebrity cameos in this movie to trick people into watching the movie. They only have one line and it isn’t very good. This is a shameless way to get people interested in a movie that is too lazy to edit its scenes correctly. There are scenes in this movie that will end mid-sentence and jarringly transition to the next scene. Don’t waste your time on a movie that is too lazy to put in the effort on proper editing. 

It was painful sitting through this movie. The poorly scripted dialogue delivered by the most wooden acting makes this movie a chore to sit through. None of the jokes land, none of the situations are funny, and none of the action is suspenseful or exciting. It doesn’t help that the whole movie is full of terribly echoey sound. They cut too many corners, and it makes this movie unwatchable. I can’t believe I sat through this whole movie.

I deserve a refund for having to sit through this god-awful movie. At least the music was good.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Once Bitten (1985)

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I was unimpressed by Once Bitten. This comedy has not aged well. A lot of the jokes no longer land, making this movie feel as eternal as the life of the vampires in it. Once Bitten is an absurd and unstructured comedy that relies heavily on the absurdity of the narrative. You have a matron of vampires who are starving for her eternal youth. To achieve this, she must drink virgin blood three times before Halloween, or she will age terribly. As a result, this movie is full of misunderstandings, innuendos, and horny teenagers. 

This movie isn’t terrible, the acting is fine, and the soundtrack is fantastic, but the pacing is a problem. The pacing is already slow, but it feels slower because you will have to sit through a number of unfunny and uncomfortable scenes. This isn’t the hyperactive Jim Carrey you might know him as, but a rather subdued character trying to figure life out. He like this movie is instantly forgettable. 

The only positive worth mentioning is the soundtrack. I love the music in this movie, but it isn’t enough to save this movie. The only scene that I enjoyed was the dance fight that happens towards the end. The music choice, the choreography, and the energy that the actors bring to their performance make me sad that this movie isn’t a musical. If you haven’t seen it, check it out because it is fun! Unfortunately, the rest of this movie lacks this energy and it suffers for it. 

You can watch this movie free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. It isn’t terrible, but there are better uses for your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Gone Tomorrow (2017)

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Gone Tomorrow is the uninteresting thriller you will probably forget watching. While there isn’t anything objectively bad about this movie, it doesn’t have the presence needed to make it work. It feels like a lesser unintended Taken reboot, but I would much rather be watching Taken. This movie is about a group of stoic brothers who are searching for their missing niece. They will stop at almost nothing to get her back from a mysterious and insidious organization. This movie doesn’t deserver more details.  

The acting is fine, the story hits all the mandatory action movie tropes, but the villains don’t exist. There is so much emphasis on showing how cool the heroes are that they forget to spend any time on the villains. The henchmen are reprehensibly sad men who are slaves to a system, but are negligible at best when it comes to actually affecting the narrative. The main villain will make his few stale appearances throughout the movie, but honestly, I forgot he existed. The only indication of the villain’s malice is that he is willing to rape and kill without cause or reason. Movie makers, you can have an interesting villain without him being a rapist.  

I’ll keep saying it, you can’t have a hero without an interesting villain. The hero’s intentions may be pure and his actions just, but without any tangible adversities, his narrative doesn’t matter. A good action movie has tension, adversity, and a capable adversary. There is no point in watching an action movie that has no stakes. The exception to the rule is if the action is fun, but that isn’t the case here either. 

The film makers try to complicate the plot by making the henchmen more human. They regret their actions, but are slaves to the organization they work for. There is also an obvious twist that is thrown in that only slows down the movie.  Most of the time you are just watching a stoic man walk from one scene to the next, waiting for him to inevitably find the baby. 

It isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen. The acting is fine, but we’ve all seen this movie done better elsewhere. If you are going to throw this on and not pay attention, it is decent background noise. Don’t go out of your way to watch this, even if you are starving for new content. You can find it free on YouTube.