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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Exit Strategy (2012)

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Exit Strategy was a difficult sit because of how hard it tries to be quirky and funny. The problem with this movie is that the actors aren’t charismatic enough to make the movie work. The poor script and mediocre acting lead to some very flat performances and a film that is never funny. To make matters worse, the sound in this movie is horrible. I can forgive bad writing and acting but never bad sound.

The movie is about a man who finds himself trapped in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. The girlfriend is comically insane and the harder he tries to leave, the stronger the hold she has over him becomes. The movie tries to focus on the absurdity of the situation, and a lot of the comedy is intended to come from the wacky antics its quirky characters get into, but none of the characters are quirky enough to pull it off.

This movie was a struggle as I waited for credits that took too long to roll. The jokes never land, the situations are never funny, and the story is terrible. I felt as trapped as the protagonist is supposed to feel watching a movie that got progressively worse with time. I will say that the editing was interesting. Scenes will repeat or skip and the movie would recall previous dialogue in sound bites. It gave the movie the feel like it was a nightmare, too bad this wasn’t a better movie.

You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Heat (1995)

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If you want to see a classic and thrilling heist movie, you can find Heat free on YouTube. This heist movie focuses on a cat and mouse chase as a cop and a crook battle it out in the mean streets of Los Angeles. You have a fantastic cast telling an amazing story, what more can you ask for? Do not be intimidated by the almost three hours run time, this movie is worth every minute.

The acting in this movie is amazing with action to match. What I love about this movie is how good it is at telling the story. It pieces together different narratives in a way that never slows the pacing of the movie. I love how it is able to tell a story with small scenes or moments. You have a cop dealing with his crumbling marriage as his obsession with his job interferes with his life. You have the story of a young girl working with her abandonment issues. You have the crook who is addicted to the game, and the movie becomes more of the chase than the score. These stories blend together and build up to a final satisfying confrontation. It is brilliant, and if you haven’t seen this movie, you should do so now! You can find it free on YouTube.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)

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I love the novel this movie is adapted from. I rank it among one my favorite books and recommend it to anyone looking for a new book to read. Although the movie isn’t completely true to the novel, it is a fantastic adaptation that you must watch. I do hold the novel a bit more favorably, but this fact didn’t ruin my experience. I had a blast with this movie, and I believe you will too.

The Count of Monte Christo is a fantastic movie about revenge. It has some fantastic acting and a great narrative. It is easy to get immersed into the period’s politics and revenge plot because the characters are so well done. If you love period movies, this is easily a great staple of the genre.

Dante is a fantastic hero to root for. He is charismatic, intelligent, capable, and well deserving of his revenge. Although the ending is a bit on the fairytale side, it makes for a satisfying journey. This story has it all: romance, sword fights, betrayal, and revenge. What more can you ask for in a film?

The Count of Monte Cristo is a timeless narrative that continues to prove it will continue to be so. Best of all, you can watch it for free on YouTube!

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Apartment 1303 (2012)

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You can watch Apartment 1303 for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. The acting is terrible, the sound is bad, and the story isn’t interesting. The movie focuses on two sisters who move into apartment 1303 to get away from a drunk and abusive mother. They live in this apartment at different times, but both will experience the ominous presence of the ghosts that live there. It makes me wonder how this complex exists when half the residents are ghosts. 

Apartment 1303 fails as a horror movie in every regard. The poor acting and lack of any emotion kill any suspense this poorly written movie could have had. Its garbage sound mixing means you hear every breath and rustling in the background, and it gets distracting. The soundtrack is played on a speaker one room over, and once from a pair of wireless headphones. The plot is full of holes and continuity errors. There are lines of dialogue that contradict themselves in the same breath. This movie is lazy, boring, and a huge waste of time.

I do, however, want to take a moment to overanalyze the plot a bit. Usually, in horror movies, a character will make frustratingly incompetent choices that lead to their demise, like staying in an apartment everyone says is haunted. In this movie, I don’t blame the characters for not leaving the apartment. Apartment 1303 is a one-bedroom high-rise apartment in downtown Detroit that is definitely nicer and bigger than the one I am currently living in. The rent was only $700 a month with a full kitchen, a large living room, a full-sized bathtub, and a balcony with a nice view of the lake. I could put aside my fear of ghosts for $700 of rent. The sisters were also escaping an abusive mother who was desperately clinging to her failed career as a singer. I would choose the ghost too, especially after hearing her music. This movie is dumb, but living in the haunted apartment is blameless.

Anyways, this movie is free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Apartment 143 (2012)

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I am not a fan of found footage movies. I don’t like the lack of structure. There are some exceptions to this, but unfortunately, Apartment 143 isn’t one of them. Maybe I would have liked this movie if I could understand any of the conversations. In an odd artistic decision, the sound is recorded from a camera microphone too far away to pick up a lot of the dialogue. The idea was probably to make the found footage seem more authentic, but it is hard to care about a movie you can’t understand.

The movie is about a group of paranormal investigators on a job. Strange things have been happening to the family living in Apartment 143, and this team of experts is here to figure out what it is. The movie entertains the possibility of ghosts, demons, psychic powers, and even mental illness for the strange activity. There is a lot of pointless misdirection because the movie ends without a clear answer. The worst part of this movie is that it ends in sequel bait. Whatever is going on in the house isn’t done yet.

There are better found footage movies out there. Ones that don’t involve people waiting around having irrelevant conversations. This shamelessly relies on cheap jump scares to hide the fact that there is nothing valuable in the rest of the movie. As of writing this, you can watch this free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: The A Team (2010)

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This movie is a lot of fun. It has explosions, some decent action, and fun characters. The story is a little lacking, but you aren’t watching this movie for the story. You are watching this movie for chases, explosions, and gunfights. Although some of the action falls flat because of the shaky-cam, it redeems itself with its antics. What other movie involves people flying a plane? A bit of warning, you will need to suspend your disbelief a lot for this movie. The antics are not realistic, but they are cool non the less. 

My only issue with this movie is that it does try to drive its story. The plot twist is obvious, you will know the plot twist in the first 5 minutes. It is obvious. The movie will spend the rest of the time trying to hide this from its audience, but there is no need for so much misdirection. All this time could be used on more explosions and helicopter chases. Another weakness of this movie is how much it tries to tie in the original show. Some of the references, like Mr. T., feel forced and out of place. When Quinton wasn’t awkwardly adding “foo” to his dialect, he is a pretty cool character. 

Overall, if you are looking for a movie you can watch mindlessly, The A Team is a solid choice. This movie doesn’t need much investment, but you won’t hate having watched it. The story is simple, the action is fun, and the cast is solid. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Eragon (2006)

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I read the Eragon back in high school, back around the time when the movie was coming out. I loved the book and I remember the excitement I felt about watching the movie. I remember exchanging that excitement for disappointment because the movie didn’t hold the same magic that the book did. I decided that today, I was far enough removed from the book that I would no longer hold that bias. I thought that I would be able to see the movie in a different light. I no longer hold onto that bias, but my opinion about this movie has not changed. I now understand why this movie never got any sequels, and it rightfully shouldn’t.

Eragon is a bad movie. You shouldn’t watch it, even if it is free on YouTube. Eragon is a movie that has gotten worse with age. The acting is mediocre, the CGI is ugly, and the story isn’t interesting. If you are looking for a movie with the same story done better, go watch Star Wars or How to Train Your Dragon. It is a much better use of your time.

What hurts this movie is its pacing and characters. There isn’t enough time spent on world-building or establishing Eragon as a competent hero in training. As a result, Eragon feels arrogant and whiny instead of a kid who is slowly growing to become a hero.

Take Brom’s death for example. Eragon gets a vision about saving Arya. Without discussing it with anyone, he just leaves. Brom dies saving Eragon. Brom’s death is supposed to be emotional and serve as an important moment of growth for Eragon. Instead, it is a frustrating scene because of how incompetent Eragon is as a hero. You might be able to excuse Eragon’s incompetence to the inexperience of youth, but the film doesn’t frame it as such. The whole movie doesn’t frame as anything heroic. He either wins because it’s in the script or people die because he messes up. It is difficult to care about a story where the main character is so unlikable.

I thought watching it for free would make watching this movie easier, but it didn’t. Don’t watch it, especially if you liked the book because you will be disappointed. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
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YouTube Movie Review: Grumpy Old Men (1993)

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Grumpy Old Men is a cute story about friendship and growing old. The movie is about two stubborn old men who can’t let go of their petty grievances. They have grown complacent in their routine and waiting to die. All of this changes when Ann-Margret moves in next door. She helps them move out of their comfort zone and start enjoying life again.

I like this movie a lot. It has a great cast and a sweet story. The chemistry between the cast is what sells this movie. I love their grumpy back and forth. It truly feels like I was watching two old friends. They bicker, play pranks on each other, but they also care enough to check on each other. They care for each other in their own weird way, but they will never admit it. It is a rivalry that exists because neither character wants to admit their wrongs, and it takes Ann-Margaret to help make their friendship stronger.

What this movie does very well is how they deal with old age. Grumpy Old Men addresses a lot of issues that come with growing old. Their friends die, their health is failing, they are lonely, and they aren’t financially secure. These are issues that are part of the experience, and it is sad. You can see that it affects them, but their pride won’t let them admit it. It affects the characters to the point where they stop trying. It is only when they stop living in the past do they begin to enjoy life again and become a lot less grumpy. 

This movie has a simple plot with an amazing journey. You can watch this movie free on YouTube. 

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Never Been Kissed (1999)

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This movie is free on YouTube. The quality is a bit questionable, I am not sure if it is an official copy, but it it isn’t terrible.

I want to say that I love this movie. Drew Barrymore is amazing and she proves why in this movie. A bit of warning, this movie can be hard to watch because of its cringy and awkward moments but I believe that is the charm.

My favorite part about this movie is the main character, Josie. She is awkward and quirky in a way that isn’t annoying. I love how she is constantly correcting people’s grammar. I also love that the focus isn’t on her finding true love but her journey of personal growth. The movie does a great job at telling her story effectively through a series of flashbacks interwoven with her re-experience of high school.

The awkward tone is a huge part of this movie. It is part of the charm this movie holds for me but I understand that it isn’t for everyone. Some parts are difficult to watch because of how cringy she plays it. If you don’t like Barrymore’s awkward and bumbling characters, then you won’t like this movie.

That said, it is free on YouTube. Check it out if you haven’t. Check it out if you have. Let me know what you think!

Watch it Here!