Neflix’s Fubar is so bad that I couldn’t bring myself to finish it. I finish everything I watch, but this series took a toll on my soul that I don’t think I can ever recover from. I sat this wishing I was watching Citadel, and I hated Citadel. Who is this show even for? You have to sit through two insufferable people bickering about nothing the whole time, and sometimes comedy and action happen. Do yourself a favor and watch anything else.
The world’s greatest spy is about to retire after a lifetime of accolades. He has plans to live a quiet life and try to mend the relationships he’s severed over the years. But America has other plans for our hero. Before he even has a chance to retire, he is placed on one more assignment. A villain from his past returns to wreak havoc. Our hero must extract a compromised agent from the villain’s clutches and save the world once again. The problem is, the agent is his daughter. Now the two must work through their relationship and save the world. Can they do it before it is too late?
This series is worse than you think because nothing it tries to do works. The little action it has is boring, the humor it tries to pull off rarely lands, everyone in this series sucks, and the writing is terrible. Most of the time, the series deals with family drama no one is going to care about, and they fill the rest with forced romances. If you cut out all the pointless filler plot, you have no show. The series has a solid cast, but it wastes them.
Between the sudden tonal changes and the annoying bickering, I just couldn’t convince myself to finish. I tried my hardest to make it to the end to see what stupid plot twist they would throw in to sequel bait, but I don’t have it in me. This series broke me. I am glad people got paid to be in this terrible show, I would have taken the job too, but I just hope it doesn’t kill any careers. You can stream it on Netflix, but your time is too precious to waste on this terrible series. Thanks for reading. I need to reevaluate some of my life choices.
Movie Review: Day Shift(2022)
Day Shift is a buddy comedy about vampire hunters that certainly has its moments, but I wouldn’t rush out to go stream it unless you have nothing else to watch. While it may not be the worst movie on the platform, its inconsistencies leave it in an awkward place where it is hard to recommend.
Jamie Foxx is a rogue vampire hunter that plays by his own rules. This flaw makes him a broke vampire hunter, desperate for money. In an effort to stay afloat, he must join the heavily regulated secret organization of vampire hunters. Here he is assigned Dave Franco, an inexperienced desk jockey who does everything by the book. The two find themselves in a conflict against a powerful vampire and her clan. They now must learn to work together to save Los Angeles from a vampire uprising.
Day Shift is just okay. The acting is fine, the jokes are inconsistent at best, and the story is generic. I don’t think there was a clear road map for this movie as it feels like a series of unfunny sketches strung together with some decent action scenes. If you cut out the dull and unfunny bits, we wouldn’t have a movie.
There is nothing special about this story. The characters are forgettable. Dave Franco and Jamie Foxx don’t have enough chemistry to pull this movie off, but I will blame the script for that. The villains have no presence, leaving the film without the suspense and tension it needs to be interesting. This would be forgivable because this movie is a comedy, but most of the jokes aren’t funny. The movie always goes for the cheap laugh and it doesn’t always work. I will commend the movie’s attention to detail. There are some small insignificant bits of lore that are set up very nicely, but I only noticed them because I was losing interest in the movie.
The action is this film’s only redeeming feature. Whoever designed the action scenes in this movie had a lot of fun with their job. Not all the scenes are equally fun, but there were enough to save this movie from being terrible. The first couple of fights in this movie are fantastic, but the movie definitely loses its steam towards the end.
If you are thinking of watching Day Shift, do so passively. Not everything in this movie is worth your attention. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go out of my way to put this on. You can stream it over on Netflix.
Movie Review: Secret Headquarters (2022)
I was pleasantly surprised by Secret Headquarters. I was expecting a completely generic superhero kids action movie, but I got a decent action comedy. It may not be perfect, but it has an undeniable charm to it. It is a solid kids’ movie, but one that you should only watch with your kids. It isn’t good enough to recommend to anyone outside of the target demographic.
The movie focuses on Charlie and his friend’s attempt to survive a villain’s assault on the world’s only superhero. Charlie is a normal kid trying to survive middle school while dealing with his parent’s separation and his absent father. Charlie’s life changes when he and his friends discover that his dad is the superhero The Guardian. Unfortunately, this discovery throws the kids into an ongoing conflict between The Guardian and an organization that is after The Guardian’s power. With the help of his friends and the Guardian, Charlie must now stop the villains from taking over the world.
This movie is okay. It isn’t going to win awards or redefine the genre or the medium, but it isn’t the worst way to spend two hours. The plot is simple, the humor is easy, but the special effects are pretty good. You will lose interest because the pacing is a little slow. A lot of the humor in this movie is designed for kids. Not all of the jokes land, but there are some solid references and double entendres that will offer you a good chuckle. The best part of the movie is its editing. The editing is hilarious. I love how it would cut away perfectly to sensor the cuss words. Your kids (if applicable) will have more fun with this movie than you will.
What helps make this movie palatable is the acting. The kids are fun and share some great chemistry, and Owen Wilson and Micheal Pena are a delight. The characters are given enough development to be distinguishable but don’t expect anything complex. Most characters fill an archetype; but they do well enough within those restrictions. The villains in this movie are exactly what you can expect from a kids’ movie. They are dumbed down and generic; Micheal Pena does his best.
This movie isn’t perfect. If you don’t have kids, I wouldn’t go out of my way to seek it out. If you have kids, it is a decent action comedy. Check it out on Paramount+.
Movie Review: Don’t Get Caught (2018)
Don’t Get Caught is an action stoner comedy that you haven’t heard of for good reason. This lazy and uninspired movie does not deserve your time. The acting is horrible, the editing is terrible, and there is no plot. You can find this movie free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth the trouble. There is absolutely no amount of weed in this world that would make this movie even a little funny.
Don’t Get Caught is about a couple of guys who stumble on a weed farm one day. They decide to steal the weed and sell it for profit. Unfortunately, the owner of the field finds out and wants his product back. This escalates to what is possibly one of the dumbest shootouts in history. They kill the biker gang, save the stripper, and get to keep all the money.
There are a couple of celebrity cameos in this movie to trick people into watching the movie. They only have one line and it isn’t very good. This is a shameless way to get people interested in a movie that is too lazy to edit its scenes correctly. There are scenes in this movie that will end mid-sentence and jarringly transition to the next scene. Don’t waste your time on a movie that is too lazy to put in the effort on proper editing.
It was painful sitting through this movie. The poorly scripted dialogue delivered by the most wooden acting makes this movie a chore to sit through. None of the jokes land, none of the situations are funny, and none of the action is suspenseful or exciting. It doesn’t help that the whole movie is full of terribly echoey sound. They cut too many corners, and it makes this movie unwatchable. I can’t believe I sat through this whole movie.
I deserve a refund for having to sit through this god-awful movie. At least the music was good.
Movie Review: Little Big Soldier (2010)
Little Big Soldier is one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies. This pseudo-historical twist on an unlikely buddy comedy is a journey you really need to consider. It is a hilarious adventure with a powerful and relevant message. I have watched this movie in both the original Cantonese and its English dubbing. While the dubbing is solid, I prefer the original because there is a lot of emotion that is lost in translation. Not that I understand any Cantonese.
Little Big Soldier is about a farmer who doesn’t want to be a soldier. He uses his wit to survive a bloody battle where he was able to capture an enemy general by chance. He is determined to turn in the enemy general to his own empire so that he may never have to fight in another war. The two start off as enemies, but will reluctantly become friends along the way.
This movie is a reimagining of historical events, but it also aims to show how meaningless war is. While I can’t speak on its historical accuracy, the narrative is fantastic. The movie does a great job of showing the effects war has on some of the different groups of people in China. From the nomadic tribes to the wondering homeless trying to survive, everyone is affected by the decisions of a few greedy men. It is scary to think a single impulse or feud could uproot and destroy the lives of thousands of people. This movie makes some very powerful criticisms about war while at the same time being silly and entertaining.
You can watch this movie in Cantonese for free on YouTube. You can watch the English dubbing on Peacock with a subscription.
