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Radioactive (2019) – Review

This pretty unremarkable biopic leaves too much to be desired. This film focuses on the re-imagining of the life of the renowned Marie Curie. It follows her as she must navigate through both her personal and professional life. Unfortunately, the film takes the life of such an interesting person and makes it rather boring.

This is a film without much focus, and unfortunately it does hurt the narrative. It jumps from scene from topic to topic as if it were a college presentation on her biography. As a result, the experience becomes a dull one because the scenes little depth to any of parts of her life. Scenes will either mention adversity as a lazy exposition, like her sister mentions that they don’t like her because she is polish. Instead of showing a hatred and unfair treatment she receives, you get scenes like this where she doesn’t seem phased. A lot of what this movie tries to get across were the amounts of hurtles that she was forced to jump over because of her sex and race. These scenes should be frustrating, tense, seemingly impossible so that when she finally is able to succeed, it is satisfying. But this film isn’t able to create any of that and so when she finally does succeed, you are so bored it doesn’t matter.

The tension in this movie is incredibly lacking. I never for once feel like there is any real urgency or threat to her success. When she gets denied repeatedly and even when she is getting sick from the radon, the scenes play out a little too hopeful. This wouldn’t be a problem if the scenes were meant to be hopeful. What is worse, any scene that is able to achieve some semblance of tension are ruined with scenes of future inventions that were only possible because of her work. The movie often times will shift from serious scene, like when she is dealing with the loss of her husband, to a more hopeful scene of the future of her research. This break of tension becomes tedious and annoying as it interrupts the narrative. I do applaud them for trying something different, but this is just filler. I would have liked it better it were left as text at the end of the movie and instead these scenes were replaced with actual content.

It is a shame that this isn’t a better movie because Rosamund Pike is truly wasted in her role. Most sense in this movie don’t allow for her to show her true potential. When there is so much lazy uninspired conversation, needless sex scenes, and a lack of tension, it can be easy to dismiss her performance as Marie Curie. But this shouldn’t be the case. There is a scene that comes to mind when she is looking down at the open casket of her late husband and she breaks down, you can see the frustration and the pain of losing someone so important to her in just this short scene. Even though it was lazily established throughout the movie that she loves her husband absolutely, it is in this scene where she makes you believe it. This scene alone is why I don’t dismiss this movie completely. But it is only a small part of the movie and in the end, not really worth the watch unless you want a quick summary of her life without having to look it up on Wikipedia.

In the end, maybe watch this movie if you want some background noise while you work. It isn’t engaging or interesting enough to maintain your attention but maybe you will learn something. If that isn’t your interest, this isn’t a very good movie and you can skip it.

Earth Girls are Easy (1988) Review

What can I say about this movie except that if you haven’t seen it, you definitely should. It isn’t the gripping story arch, in depth character development, nor its attention to detail world building that makes this a great movie. This movie has very little, if any, of these elements. Instead, it is the explosion of 80’s nostalgic madness that you have the pleasure to experience. And this movie is 80’as fuck! From the music to the set and costume design, you will get your nostalgia fix.

Aliens on a search for women find themselves at Earth’s doorstep. Specifically, in the pool of the main character Valerie Gale. Valerie has had her world turned upside down after discovering that her fiancé, the man who she was to marry in two weeks, is a cheater. Distraught and alone, she throws herself a pity party when the aliens come and interrupt it. Quickly realizing they are aliens’ shenanigans happen until they can communicate with Valerie that they are friendly. A quick changing montage musical number later and boom they are transformed into human men. The idea that these furry creatures can be turned into good looking men with the help of pounds of make-up is comical and is akin to the tone of the movie, but I digress. Now, the newly human aliens must wait for the pool to be drained so that they can leave earth and continue their search. In the meantime, they get to experience Californian culture as tourists. And this of course is the cause of a lot of shenanigans.

Sure, it is a bit slap sticky, and the bits drag on longer than they should in some points, but the ride is well worth the trouble. If it isn’t enough to ogle at a shirtless young Jeff Goldblum, you will get a lot of silly musical numbers as well as a reminder of aspects form the 80’s you probably haven’t thought about since the 90’s. The music in this movie is pretty great and echo the film’s lack of seriousness. Everything is bouncy, upbeat and erratic as if the film itself is fueled by the same mountains of cocaine that were used to write and direct it. And all of this madness and chaos just works!

Be forewarned however, this movie might be offensive for modern audience. I can see where it can be problematic and sexist, but this isn’t a movie that should be taken seriously. And it shouldn’t. This spastic journey into Southern California culture through the lens of aliens is just something fun you put on when you don’t want to follow a complicated plot or travel through back to the wackiest parts of the 90’s.

I definitely recommend this movie not for its groundbreaking impact it has on cinema, it has non, but for the fun ride you will get to experience. It is incredibly cheesy and over the top though, so if that isn’t your scene, then this isn’t the movie for you. In conclusion, Valley girls are easy.

Good Time (2017) Review

If you want to know what it means to be anxious, watch this movie. The tension, the acting, the suspense and the pacing will have you at the edge of your seat as you watch bad decision after bad decision being made. To put it simply, you get to feel what it is like to be truly cornered by an inescapable fate and it is an amazing ride.

The movie follows Connie Nikas who is on the run from the law after a bank robbery goes wrong. Now he must avoid getting caught as he tries his hardest to get his brother out of custody. His brother gets caught after they robbed the bank. Now it is a race against time.  What makes this movie amazing is how it creates tension through small details that constantly present themselves as he tries to stay hidden. It is clear early on that this isn’t going to be easy for Connie, and it shouldn’t be. While on the run, Connie will pass multiple cops who are currently hunting him down. You learn that Connie is kind of a piece of shit, and you learn through his failed attempts to find asylum that he has no where to go. What do you do when you have no where to hide? You run! And there is a lot of running in this movie. This is a high octane; high tension movie and you will have no choice but to echo the small sighs of relief and respite that Connie finds through out his journey. And these moments are few and become more far in between as he digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble.

As a character, Connie is brilliant. He only cares about two things, himself and his brother and it is echoed throughout the movie as he does whatever it takes to get his brother back. He does so even if it means hurting and using both the people he knows and strangers. Connie is smart, despite his continually making bad decisions. When faced with a problem, he is quick to make decisions. The lies he forms, the quick change in appearance, how easily he seems to move from one problem to the next suggest that he is a veteran at his craft. But he is not the traditional cool headed, or even hot-headed action hero thief as seen in similar films. As he gets more and more cornered, you see him start to break. You can see the toll the chase is taking on him. He is tired, he is thirsty, he is desperate and that makes him human. Being human is important because it adds to the tension in the film. You feel that at any moment, his journey will end with one mistake. And as his journey progresses, you can see that he is learning from it. The key is that through all this chaos, he does experience personal growth and he ends up at the end of the movie changed by the outcome, even if it isn’t the traditional bad ass that we have become accustomed to. Robert Pattinson’s performance alone should be reason to watch the film.

If you haven’t seen this movie, I would definitely recommend it. If you saw Uncut Gems and liked it, then you should watch the far better older brother. It’s a great movie for those who love thrillers but are tired of the same tired formula.

1BR Review

It is another creepy cult movie. A decently done yet still generic film that you shouldn’t spend too much time looking for.

The film starts off with Sarah trying to create a new start in LA. Unfortunately, this new start is brought to her by the creepy cult that owns the 1-bedroom apartment that is about to be the cause of the drama in this movie. Let me say that this movie does a poor job at creating the suspense needed to set the tone that it wishes to achieve. Most plot points are loudly telegraphed through random long shots. When she spends her first night in the complex, the camera pans away from Sara and stops on the units blinking fire alarm. This is obviously a hidden camera set up to watch her and it will most definitely come up later. I do not have a problem with symbolism, but it is ridiculous how much symbolism this film will try to throw at the audience. It is as if the director doesn’t have faith that the audience can come to their own conclusions so the film will constantly hand hold, taking away any creepy tone it was asking for.

Movies of a similar genre are successful because of the suspicion. Take the original Stepford Wives film, although flawed, it presents the audience with this suburban utopia, but it also gives the audience bits and pieces of flaws in society that suggest something nefarious is afoot. You have the women malfunctioning, you have strong independent women suddenly becoming subservient, and you along with the character feel that there is something wrong with the town. In 1BR, you never really get that feeling because you know from the start what is wrong so there is no point in watching the rest.

This movie is incredibly generic. It doesn’t take long for the tenants to take Sarah to try to reprogram her to see the truth. A truth written by some dead guy about the importance of community. It is through these generic tenants that the cult is created and then you just watch her do a whole lot of nothing. The torture is simple and as hard as it tries to emulate other movies that do it, they do it very poorly. Brain washing consists of her stating in an uncomfortable position for hours only being fed once a day with a nasty looking milkshake. The film suggests that hours of standing in this isolated room in the apartment that she rented, hunger, and finally the nails that go through her hands (possibly Christ-like) are enough to brain washing her into joining this society.

The brainwashing obviously doesn’t work and at this point you are halfway through the movie with little hope of it getting better. It zooms past all the tropes presented in far better movies in order to stay within the genre, for example the idea that man is corrupt and selfish and through this new cult, all of man’s problems will be solved. They also do a whole scene where they kill their oldest member because she is no longer of use. Even the big escape and the twist are anti-climactic. There isn’t really any saving grace to this film. I wouldn’t waste my time watching this movie unless it was free. Even then, there are far better movies in this genre you could be watching. This was a pretty meh attempt at brining the genre to an urban setting.

 

Stuber (2019) Review

It’s another buddy cop movie, and not a very good one at that. Even worse, it’s an update to the movie Taxi. Same general idea but surprisingly not as good. If you can get this one for free, go for it. It isn’t a terrible sit, but I wouldn’t pay for this movie because It’s not really worth it. It is incredibly generic save for the forced politically correct jokes that it will interrupt the flow of the movie with. There are scenes where they will play these jokes as an odd nod to millennials and it does not work. Is this a new trend? I saw a lot of this in the newest Men in Black movie and it was honestly distracting. I do not have an issue with these types of jokes mind you, but I do have an issue with how they are delivered in these movies. Often times it will be in the middle of a random scene where the politically correct token character will stop the scene in order to correct something insensitive that was said. Once in a while, sure this might be a funny jest and get a decent chuckle but when it happens every time it loses it’s effectiveness. And in this movie, it becomes a little preachy. I don’t want to be preached at when I am watching a comedy.

Kamail Nanjiani is a token in this movie. His role could have been casted by anyone with a similar build. He is wasted in this film. The acting is not terrible, and you will get some chuckles out of it, but you will not remember watching this movie. The movie does very little to stand out, save for constantly mentioning uber. Batista plays a big dude and they will take every opportunity they get to point that out. Nanjiani is a skinny loser and they will take every opportunity to make sure you know that he is. Like every other movie, they will not get along but because of their journey together they will ultimately forge a lasting meaningful friendship. That is to say, they will become friends because the script says they should.

There isn’t anything deeper to this film and I know that I shouldn’t have gone into this film expecting such but I at least expected some kind of story. Instead what you get is just these caricatures being moved from joke to joke as they are forced to grow closer to one another as is tradition with this genre of film. All this is loosely inter-weaved into some drug case that I honestly forgot was a thing until the very end. The driving force behind this whole adventure merely comes forth in small segments in between all the jokes about uber and bickering between the lead. In the end, several plot points are breezed by and some of them are forgotten if not hastily tied together because they have to remind you what UBER is again.

All in all let’s call this film what it really is, a giant commercial for UBER. The films will stop multiple times to explain different aspects of the app on both the rider and driver side. Take these out and the PC jokes and the movie sadly becomes hollow because there is nothing more to this movie. Who wants to pay money to watch an UBER ride? All in all it is not the hardest sit, there are worse out there, but don’t pay money for this. This is a movie you throw in the background while you do chores or Netflix and chill if that is still a thing.

John Wick 3: Now with 200% More Dog

If you haven’t seen any of the John Wick movies, why are you reading this? Start watching them now. This series doesn’t fail to entertain and will have you on the edge of your seat as you watch John Wick wreck mayhem across New York. Although the series doesn’t necessarily get better with each instalment, it doesn’t get worse like Taken. This movie starts off fun and will stay fun.

What I particularly like about the series is how each film builds off the other. Each film starts off with John Wick dealing with the consequences brought on by his actions in the previous movie. And this movie does have consequences. John Wick isn’t the typical inhuman badass that is ever present in movies of the same genre. John Wick progressively gets tired. You get to see him get hurt and react accordingly. He will limp and the action will slow down showing his mortality. I particularly like this aspect because it is something different. It was nice to see action scenes that weren’t cut to shit to give the illusion of fighting.

Although this film gets a bit repetitive at times, it is worth the watch. The beautifully choreographed fight scenes make up for the lack of story. Don’t get me wrong, this film has more story than other’s in the genre but the story isn’t terribly complex. Someone shoots his dog and he goes on a full rampage. The way it this was executed however is something you need to experience for yourself. And if at this point you haven’t seen the previous instalments; you don’t really need to see them to enjoy the third movie. I didn’t remember the events of the other movies when I watched it and felt like it does a good job catching you up. Although it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to binge all three in one of the most bad ass sitting you will experience.

And of course the best part, this movie comes with way more dog. I can say, you are not ready for the amount and quality of dog you will get from this movie. That alone should be reason for you to strop reading this and watch what is easily one of the best action flicks I’ve seen this year. Forget your superhero bullshit, forget your repetitive money making action trash and go see this.

In closing, love yourself and watch this!

Hellboy (2019) Review

              I am not too familiar with the source material for this film unfortunately, so my review will focus on the movie and its story and not the comic book it is based on.

              This film was an interesting ride. It didn’t do anything extraordinarily bad, but it did little to make the film remarkable. The film is a super hero movie and thus it will follow a lot of the already established tropes. It also follows a familiar story that you have seen so many times so the fact that it doesn’t add anything to make this story feel fresh and new is a bit disappointing. Hellboy will constantly recite cheesy one liners, and most don’t really land. You will have a lot of scenes that try desperately to establish Hell Boy as a bad ass but it becomes a bit distracting. How many times can we watch a hero pretend like he doesn’t care only to find out that he does at the end? I take it not much longer and this movie will probably one that will become obscure over time because it’s the same story.

              What hurts this film is the CGI. This story might have been better if it were animated. The cgi in this film isn’t the best and the fights look ugly on the big screen. There were multiple times where I didn’t know what I was looking at because of how cartoonishly bad action scenes would play out. This comes as a huge disappointment because there are a lot of cool designs of demons and monsters that would have looked a lot better if it were all animated. If you want to watch this for the action, wait till you can watch it on a smaller screen, it might look better.

              Another issue with this movie is the acting. Maybe it is the scripts fault, but it seems like most people sleep walk through this film. Some of the acting is out right wooden and it kills a scene because if the actors don’t care, I don’t either. You can tell that this was another paycheck for most of the people here. If you are looking for a good story, go elsewhere because this one will feel generic. I honestly don’t know how this film got a theatric review when it feels like a Netflix original. It is a shame because I have seen how cool of a story can be, and I wanted to like this movie so bad but it just doesn’t do the series justice.

              I say skip this one. Don’t pay theather price because it isn’t worth it. Wait for it to come on Netflix but even then it would be for background noise as you will probably lose interest in the story. It’s not terrible, but it’s not good. 

Next Gen (2018) Review

Next Gen is a poor man’s Big Hero 6, and given the choice, you should probably go watch that instead. This more poorly written knock off is a Netflix original that you probably won’t miss if you don’t watch it. This movie attempts to be an edgier version of Big Hero 6 through its plot, design and music, it fails to entertain. It doesn’t push the envelope hard enough and has more holes in its plot to make it work. Granted I might not be the target audience, but you can still make a movie geared for kids that is still entertaining to other groups.

This is a movie about a trouble teen, Mai, who lives in a world where robots are a part of everyday life. The problem is that she hates robots. The movie suggest that her dislike of robots is due to her distant mother’s obsession with robots. The movie will suggest a lot to give the illusion of plot and character development. As these movies go, she is also troubled by a past you get in small bits of dialogue and flash backs. Because her father left at a young age for whatever reason, she is now unable to trust anyone and therefore forces herself to be alone. Her sad past is what makes her destined to be this movie’s hero. And as this movie’s hero, nothing bad will happen to her.

This is one of those movies where things happen because shitty writing. That is to say that they will make shit up to write themselves out of all the plot holes and it isn’t subtle. For example, her encounter with the robot of the movie, Project 77, as so credulous. She is able to sneak past all of these security robots which makes me believe that robots in this universe are useless if they can’t stop a single little girl from sneaking into a secret lab. Even more troubling is the lack of consequences in the movie. Just reaching Project 77 she causes enough property damage where she should have at least been fined, but of course nothing ever comes of it. Maybe they forgave her because they knew she was destined to save the world.

Then you get the weirdest abusive relationship in cartoon history. Project 77 imprints on Mai and the rest of the movie is Project 77 trying to break through Mai’s hardened character. The issue is that Mai only keeps him around to hurt the ones who hurt her. This is one of those movies where the character has to have the saddest life so everything is wrong with her. Now project 77’s quirk is that he only has a limited amount of memory and he must erase certain memories to keep making new ones. And you never really care because Mai isn’t a nice person. You can argue that her past, the one that was poorly written for her, made her act this way, but I didn’t feel bad for her. I didn’t want to follow her around. She was extremely generic, as characters of this genre often are, and the relationship between Mai and 77 wasn’t captivating like that of the Iron Giant or Big Hero 6.

The other big issue with this movie is the plot. The villain of the movie is ridiculous. His plan to take over the world is to mass produce these robots that he gives to everyone. He plants bombs in these and his plan is to activate them to blow up and destroy humanity. The problem is that these explosions do so little damage that by the end of it you wonder if it was even necessary for Mai and 77 to get involved. Like I have mentioned before, this movie has no consequences and therefore, you will never really care for this movie.

This movie is bland. Netflix seems to be pumping out movies for the sake of pumping them out. These knock offs are not content and instead we get our feed bombarded with crap they keep labeling as original. I wish that instead they would spend more time between releases, so they can make watchable content. They have the ability, I have seen some Netflix content that I didn’t mind but lately it just seems like they are churning cheap rip offs of shows and movies that were successful. The problem with this is you get content with very little substance that panders and it is getting harder and harder to justify paying for the subscription when good content is diluted with this crap. Skip this so they don’t keep making crap like this.

 

The Greatest Showman (2017) Review

Recently re-watching The Greatest Showman I can say that this is one of those movies that you can only see once. The first time watching it, I was mesmerized by all the pageantry, the singing, although the plot still leaves me unimpressed. The plot follows a young boy who grows up poor that falls in love with a girl who is a different social class. Because of his own status, it makes this love one that is frowned upon and now Hugh Jackman makes it his life’s goal to become a man that is worthy of his love’s affection. To do this, Hugh Jackman’s character gathers a group of “misfits” and creates a show of oddities. A circus if you will. But, as he becomes more successful and is no longer poor, he is never fully accepted by high society. This need for acceptance becomes an obsession for Hugh Jackman’s character and we get to watch as his motives are no longer to earn the affection of the woman he loves, which he has from the beginning of the movie, but rather to gain acceptance in a society that he doesn’t really want to be a part of. Because of his obsession, he ends up forgetting why he started the show in the first place and hurts the only people that had faith in him.

As plots go, you aren’t watching this movie for the plot. You are watching it for the singing, so I will excuse all the holes and some of the bad dialogue in this film. And as far as the singing goes, I have seen way worse musicals. The issue is that on second viewing, this movie lost all its charm and I was bored with it. Maybe it was watching it on a smaller screen with weaker speakers, but it didn’t hold the magic that I remembered it having when I watched it first.

I wish that they had gone a little more over the top in this film and not try to be as serious. I wish that they didn’t use so much CGI in this film. And I wish that Hugh Jackman’s character wasn’t such a dick. I get it, the premise was clear, but I didn’t spend enough time with his character to forgive him being a dick when he turns into one. My biggest issue is how quickly all of the drama in the this film is solved. Again, I can excuse this because of the genre of the film but it doesn’t change the fact that this is one of those movies that you can only view once or twice. I don’t see this movie having a long shelf life like other films of the genre because the story and the songs aren’t extremely memorable. Maybe I am not the target audience, maybe I don’t know enough music to fully appreciate it but I couldn’t get into it the second time around.

If you haven’t seen it, I recommend watching it. It’s a good sit the first time around. If you have already seen it, you should know where you stand. Check it out.

 

Murder Party (2007) Review

Murder Party is the film you’ve never heard of that should have stayed a play. The movie starts off with a man finding a mysterious invitation to the murder party. It name drops within the first five minutes of the film. The man decides to go to the party without knowing anything about it. There a lot of obvious warning signs that the man shouldn’t go to this party, the biggest being that it is being held in the outskirts of town. There is a moment when he runs through the empty creepy streets to some abandoned warehouse. Little does he know that the party was a plot by the most pretentious art students to commit a murder. It is when he gets to the party that the shenanigans begin as he is going to be the victim of this murder party. But, luckily for him, the killers are idiots and are picked off one by one by terrifying slap stick. Now you get to watch as the group unravels as they fail to go through with the murder.

This film feels like a community theater play. Not a terrible one, but one that shouldn’t have been put to video. A lot of the acting, dialogue, the scenery all belong on stage. The acting is over the top, and while I have seen places where it works, it gets annoying real fast in this film. I get that the over the top acting fits the tone of the movie, but it makes the already unlikable characters less likable. The characters in this movie are archetypes of eccentric art students, each one representing a unique quirk. The problem is that none of the characters are likable and spend most of the time arguing. The movie gets hard to sit through when you don’t care about the characters. Most of the dialogue is frivolous bickering and don’t really add anything to the plot. And this movie forgets it’s plot for the sake of this bickering and of course the slap stick.

The worst part is the slap stick. This movie has to invent silly ways for the characters to die so the innocent man can escape. It is because of their incompetence that they all meet their ends. One characters dies form catching fire after dousing himself with alcohol when he was drinking. None of these characters posses the ability to function in normal society.

This movie also makes a statement about the art community, I think? All the people who are in this mysterious warehouse are pretentious art students working on their art. They will argue amongst themselves constantly about their art and will talk about a huge project that they are working on. This whole film seems like a pretentious art project made by someone in this film. It tries way to hard to be dark, and funny, and gross that it doesn’t really tell a good story. I wouldn’t mind the acting and cheap production if the movie told a good story. Instead you get to follow a bunch of characters you don’t like being annoying. There are whole scenes where all they do is bicker. This isn’t plot.

If you like weird movies, check this out. It is something you have to see to know that it exists. I do not recommend this for the average viewer because it is way too artsy and pretentious. I’d say skip this if you are looking for something entertaining to watch. I give this a 3 out of 10. I did like a few scenes and I appreciated that it is different from all the other movies I have seen, but it is not for everyone.