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YouTube Movie Reviews: Permanent (2017)

This is a hard movie to recommend because of how niche the tone and pacing are. The pacing is slow, the characters are awkward, and the story is mundane. This is a very quiet movie about a group of awkward characters becoming comfortable with themselves. If you are a fan of Napoleon Dynamite, you will probably enjoy this movie. It has similar pacing and tone, although it is a bit tamer.

Permanent is a coming-of-age story about a young girl trying to fit in. As these movies go, she spends the whole movie figuring out where she fits in. There is a lot of emphasis on the mundane and weird aspects of life in a sleepy town somewhere in Virginia. I like the family dynamic that plays out on screen and the journey Aurelie goes on. The problem with this movie is the pacing, it can drag at points, but it is a pace fitting for the narrative.

This movie is a cute story about people overcoming their insecurities. The pacing and the subject aren’t for everyone. I recommend watching this in the background while you do chores or the like. You can do a lot worse for free. You can watch it on YouTube or Amazon with a Prime subscription.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Tank Girl (1995)

This movie is based on a comic, but I haven’t read the comic. Instead, I will focus my review on just the movie.

I really wanted to like this movie. The movie is weird, quirky, and it has a lot of energy. But, this hyperactive and weird movie gets old very fast. Unless you love this adaptation of the character, you won’t find much worth in this movie. The plot is lazy, the world-building is almost non-existent, and there is a lot of filler.

There are parts of this movie that I liked. Some of the costumes are neat. Some of the jokes made me laugh, but there isn’t enough here to make it recommendable.

My biggest issue with this movie was the main character, at least the unwavering focus the film has on her. Tank girl is loud, quirky, and full of energy. Whatever charm she establishes in the first few minutes wears off soon after. She gets a little annoying. The main focus of this movie is to show off how quirky Tank Girl is at the cost of valuable plot development and world-building. There are a lot of scenes where she is just posing off her wacky outfit and even a changing montage when she should be doing anything to move the plot forward. At its bones, this movie is very bare.

This movie is loud and flashy but very boring. I wanted a narrative, I wanted memorable characters, and I wanted substance; but I didn’t get any of that. Instead, I got the promise of a good time. It is free on YouTube, but don’t waste your time. Maybe read the comic instead.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Valentine: The Dark Avenger (2017)

Here we have a low-budget action movie that isn’t worth your time, even for free. The acting is terrible, the action scenes are boring, and the plot doesn’t make sense. I can excuse the lack of plot and poor acting in action movies when the action is fun to watch, but it’s impossible here. The main character doesn’t know how to fight. The fight scenes are shot with multiple cuts and a shacky camera to hide this fact. There is an unfunny scene in this movie where they are looking through possible candidates for the role of Violet. They make a big deal about throwing out all the ugly ones even though they know how to fight. I take issue with this because why does it matter if they are ugly if the goal is to fight crime? I wish they would hire action stars based on ability rather than looks because the action would be fun to watch. But then it wouldn’t be marketable.

The movie takes place in a city plagued with crime. A man with a tragic past recruits a woman to be the hero the city needs. The movie would have ended a lot sooner if anyone had a gun. Instead, you get overacted long chase scenes, boring fight scenes, and useless exposition dumps. And when the twist comes, because there has to be a twist, it was obvious and unimpressive. I can’t recommend this movie, even if it is free. Spend your time and energy on better things.

YouTube Movie Reviews: O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Set in Depression-Era America, it weaves in different iconic moments throughout the adventure. I can not speak for its historical accuracy, but it does seem to align with other narratives from the era. History aside, there is a lot to love about the movie. The characters in this movie are fun and memorable, but my favorite has to be George Clooney’s pseudointellectual adaptation of Ulysses. The story itself, although it is an odd one, is engaging. Watching Ullyses and company travel through the American landscape is a fun and beautiful journey.

This movie also has one of my favorite soundtracks. My love for folk music began with this movie. Folk music has played an important role in American culture. It is only fitting that it accompanies our narrative.

I could keep going about this movie because it is one of my favorites, but I will end it here. You need to watch this movie!

Movie Reviews: Afternoon Delight (2013)

I don’t know where to start with this movie. It is a disappointing movie that isn’t worth your time. There are elements of this movie that are fine. The acting is fine. Some awkward scenes show the main character’s state of despair. My issue with this movie is how it all ends.

The movie is about a bored housewife who is unhappy with her life. The film does a fine job showing the audience how trapped she is. To cure her boredom, she takes a sex worker off the street to live in her house. This seemingly altruistic act is muddied with sexual desire and boredom. There are moments where the movie suggests the desire for a sexual relationship with the prostitute, but nothing comes of it. The whole situation was merely a hobby to fill her otherwise meaningless life.

What I hate is that the source of her unhappiness is that her life is too nice. She begins to act recklessly because she wants real-life experiences. When life gets too real, she freaks out and it’s like nothing ever happened. You have all this build-up and then nothing. There is no hero’s journey. There is no character growth. The movie just ends.

I don’t recommend this movie. It’s not worth your time.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Just Friends

As far as Romantic Comedies go, you can’t go wrong with “Just Friends.” It is a light-hearted story about a guy trying to win over a girl he was in love with in high school. You have a charming Ryan Reynolds, a crazy Anna Faris, and one of the best ending credits scene out of any movie. I recommend this movie if you like Romantic Comedies. Heck, I even recommend this if you aren’t because it has a certain charm that I believe anyone can enjoy.

My only issue with the movie is the idea of the friend zone. The friend zone is such a gross concept because it suggests that women are prizes to be won. They aren’t, and I think this movie does a great job dealing with this issue by showing the audience that the feelings of love didn’t materialize because Ryan Reynolds won, but rather that the feelings always existed. The love interest in this movie is still a bit one-dimensional, but she is not as bad as others in the genre.

If you are looking for a movie to watch on your next date night, or just browsing for something to watch, you can’t go wrong with this. You can watch it on Netflix and it is also free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: IP Man (2008)

There is so much I like about this movie. It has very well-choreographed fight scenes accompanied by some fine camera work. This movie does a great job balancing its engaging story and its tense, nail-biting action. To top it all off, the overall message of this narrative isn’t overbearing nor preachy.

I recommend this movie to anyone. There is violence, but the story woven around it should satisfy most audiences. I suggest watching it n the original Cantonese with subtitles because I feel that a lot of the emotion and tension is lost in the dubbing.

You can watch this movie and the two that follow on YouTube for free!

YouTube Movie Reviews: The Ex (2006)

I take issue with this genre of movies because, at its core, it is about objectifying women. Two men will fight over the desired woman as if she were a prize until the “good” one proves victorious. There is a lot of deception, betrayal, and shenanigans along the way. If you can look past the objectification, they can be fun movies you will forget about soon after. This movie isn’t fun’ I do not recommend it.

My biggest issue with this movie is with the main character. He is rude, selfish, and self-serving. He is only the better option because the rival is irredeemably and cartoonishly evil. The main character is equally unlikable and it makes this movie difficult to get through. This whole ordeal becomes a drawn-out fight between two characters that you won’t care about.

This whole movie could have been avoided if there was a clear and honest discussion between the couple. But there isn’t, because the woman’s opinion doesn’t matter. I forgot the woman existed until she would randomly pop up to move the plot forward. The fact that she forgives the main character after the fact proves how one-dimensional of a character she is. She only exists to have the baby and be fought over. It is disgusting.

It is a shame that there is so much wasted talent in this movie. On paper, a cast like this should result in a funny movie but the funny moments are too far in between to be worth watching. The movie is slow the rest of the time. I say don’t waste your time with this. Watch “School for Scoundrels” instead. But if you insist on ignoring my caution, you can find this movie free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

I found myself enjoying this movie up until the end. The acting is what makes this movie work so well. John Goodman’s character is amazing! His character is what gives the movie most of its suspense. I will commend the film’s ability to effectively tell a solid narrative through the interactions between three people. They create a whole world within a small bunker and I am here for it. I recommend this movie to see John Goodman.

My issue with this movie is with the ending. This movie is a part of a larger Cloverfield Cinematic Universe (CCU), but I don’t think it works here. The connection to the CCU seems to be an afterthought and thus lazily executed. If you ignore this connection, it is a much more compelling story about prisoners trapped in some stranger’s basement. That’s the movie you need to see, not this poorly executed alien invasion movie. Ignoring this connection is ideal, but it also creates a new issue. If you do not know anything about the CCU, the ending to this movie is disorienting and disappointing. But if you don’t ignore it, you will still be disappointing.

But don’t let the promise of disappointment dull your intrigue about this movie. If you ignore its connection to the CCU and look past the ending, you have a solid and entertaining movie you can watch for free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Superhero Movie (2008)

Superhero Movie is a parody that should not have been made. I remember not liking it when it first came out, but not much else. It has not aged well since. This movie relies heavily on farting. This movie fills its dead air with fart jokes because it doesn’t have enough material to fill the run time. There are more farts in this movie than actual jokes. It is clear early on that this movie was made for 8-year-olds in 2008. It doesn’t hold up.

This movie is boring. It slogs through its run time with very little humor in it. There were a few moments where I wanted to give up on this movie, but I powered through. It isn’t worth it. The few moments that got a chuckle out of me are not worth sitting through the rest of the nonsense. Watching a YouTube video with all the best scenes would be a better use of your time, but not by much.

I would skip this even if you like watching bad movies for fun because it is slow and boring. But it is free for those poor souls who don’t believe me.