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Movie Reviews

Extinction (2018) Review

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Synopsis:

Extinction is another postapocalyptic film coming to us from Netflix. It seems this seems to be a recurring theme as a lot of the movies that are coming out have to deal with the end of the world. This one follows a family who must survive the world being destroyed by aliens? The film starts with a dream sequence and pretentious monologue. It sets the tone in the first five minutes, and it seems the tone is a pretentious one. We are introduced to the main character, Peter, who is a overworked father who is never there. The film attempts to show a dysfunctional family as the main issue seems that the father is never home. Aside from the disfunction we learn that Peter has also been having recurring nightmares about the world ending, nightmares that the film will continuously cut to throughout the first half of the movie. It is not until Peter attempts to make amends for being absent that the aliens decide to attack the earth. But of course, because of the skills he has from being a mechanic of sorts is able to escape the initial attack and starts to make his way to safety. And you can pretty much guess where the rest of the film goes as they try to make their way through the city without being spotted by the aliens.

 

Review

                Although a interesting premise, and by no means a dull movie, it’s not great. What hurts this movie the most is the miscasting, I can’t say I was impressed by any performance in this film. Michael Pena wasn’t very believable, and his serious role was played rather bland. The same could be said about Lizzy Caplan’s performance. I’ll give the kids a pass for their performance because they are children, but it did remove a lot of the drama and suspense when the kids had to act scared or sad. As a suspenseful movie, it doesn’t work. The budget was low, so I suspected there were going to be terrible effects, but they are not as bad as the effects the Escape Plan 2 so there is that.

                I really wouldn’t recommend this movie because it is not that good. It has some cool action scenes, but it is really boring. The only redeeming factor I could say would be the twist in the movie that makes the other wise confusing movie make sense, but that alone isn’t enough to watch the movie. Well not if you are an average movie goer. It does take some interesting liberties in playing with how narrative is told and perspective, but that’s saying little when the narrative is boring. In the end, I’d have to give this film a 4/10. It won’t be a terrible time, but it’s defiantly nothing I would recommend.

Movie Reviews

Signal (2014) Review

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               We start the film introduced with the main character Nic. For reasons that aren’t really explained in the movie, Nic cannot walk without the help of crutches. Nic is buying coffee for his friends who are in a road trip. Being the decent guy that he is, Nic stops to help a young boy who is struggling with the claw machine. He shows the boy how to win his prize by drawing the solution on the glass and giving the boy more money. This scene is used to get the audience to sympathize with Nic since he is a good person and also to show that he is really smart. To reinforce the fact that he is smart we learn that not only does Nic go to MIT, but he is a hacker as well. We are then introduced to his friend Jonah, who is also a hacker, and his girlfriend Haley who are on a road trip to California to help Haley move to her new school.

                Nic and Jonah are being taunted by some mysterious hacker who taunts the pair to go find him. And if obvious trap isn’t obvious, you haven’t been paying attention. The two find the location of the hacker and despite all the warnings that it is a bad idea, they go find this mysterious hacker because the plot says so. They find the location is at an abandoned house and as they search the building, something happens. Nic wakes up in a sterile research facility with no recollection of how he got there. We are introduced to Damon who is in charge of interrogating Nic to try to find out what is going on. We learn that aliens have made contact but nothing else is known. The rest of the movie involves Nic trying to reunite with his friend and girlfriend and trying to escape.

                This movie is a weird one. It tries incredibly hard to be deep by constantly going back to simple motifs that only really serve to flesh out Nic as a character. For example, he constantly has to write out his problems in order to find logical solutions. It doesn’t take long to figure out twist so the rest of the movie you are just waiting for the big reveal. At least I wasn’t surprised by what happened. The movie, if anything, is really pretty. The scenes all set up so nicely. The sterile facility, the desert, every scene was just so well shot that it is worth watching just to see the different sets.

                This film definitely isn’t for everyone, so if you are an average movie goer that likes big name block busters, search elsewhere. Nor is it different or unique enough where I can recommend it to people who like weird films, although I can see this having a small cult following. If you have absolutely nothing else to watch or are in the mood for some weird suspenseful sci-fi, give Signal a chance. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because although I liked it, it is not for everyone and it’s one of those movies you can only watch so many times.

Movie Reviews

Blended (2014)

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Blended (2014) is another romantic comedy brought to us by our friends at Happy Madison. Now this is a movie that was made so that Adam Sandler and his friends can take a vacation in Africa. You can tell because of the weak plot, the lazy writing, and the scenes looked like they were taken during their breaks from their vacation. That being said, as far as Adam Sandler movies go, you can do worse.

                The plot is simple enough, a seemingly mismatch couple meet and through some sort of quest find out that they are meant for each other. It doesn’t get any more generic than that. The movie starts off with the couple on their first date, and it is a bad one. We learn that each is a single parent struggling to fill both rolls. As they try to struggle between being good parents and their careers they find that they keep running each other. There are scenes where the Adam Sandler struggles to fill the roll of the mother and doesn’t know how to deal with some of the issues his girls face, suggesting the need for a new mother. This is superimposed with Drew Barrymore’s character struggling to do the same but with her boys. Maybe what they are missing is each other?

This movie tries too hard to show that this couple should be together. They own the same car and they both like their coffee with no cream and some sugar. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. Despite despising each other, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore keep running into each other until they stumble upon the trip to Africa that would change their lives forever. Not only becoming a real family but also learning to love again.

                As generic and simple as this movie is, you can do way worse. I did get a few laughs from it so if you have nothing better to do, I’d say go for it. The plot does have some holes, but it’s a movie that was filmed from a vacation, so you shouldn’t expect too much. Of course, not all of the jokes land and I wouldn’t say it is a must see, but you can at the very least put it on as background noise.

                Overall, I wouldn’t say I’d recommend it as it is really generic, and the plot has been done better in other movies. I’d say, if you are looking for something to watch and have nothing better to do, go for it. This movie won’t hold and in fact I’ve already forgotten most of what happened in it already. It won’t win any awards, but you can do worse. 4/10.

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Escape Plan 2: Hades

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Hey guys, its been a while. I’ve been busy with work and such and will be rolling out the reviews slower than usual until I get settled.

Escape Plan 2: Hades is the sequel no one knows exists. Probably because the entire budget was spent on the special effects. Plot wise, it follows the same formula as the first, except with a lot less Stallone, which was incredibly disappointing for me. If you look at the poster for this film, you’d assume this would be a movie that stares Stallone and Bautista, but it doesn’t. Instead we follow Shen who gets captured because his cousin has this super secret high tech skeleton key that some secret evil force wants to steal. The movie then works in a similar fashion where Shen must figure out a way to escape the prison.

This was a much more poorly executed movie than the first one. The budget is noticeably smaller than the previous as most of it is filmed in front of a green screen with horrible CGI. Most of the actors sleep walk through this, possibly because they assume no one is going to watch it. Sadly, I got to watch it and we paid to rent it. I have never felt so cheated in my life. The plot doesn’t make any sense and if you haven’t seen the first one, don’t bother watching this one because you will be confused. For some reason this movie makes a lot of references to the first one assuming that the first film was incredibly memorable. Having seen the first one myself, I struggled to follow the plot and I honestly forgot the plot of the first one. Writing this review, I am struggling to remember what the hell I just watched.

The best part of the movie is how the try to sequel bate a third movie, as if they believed this would be the beginning of a long lasting series, but I cant see a movie with a lower production value than this one. This movie is so bad and boring, skip this one. It doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. If you are a fan of the first one, watch the first one again.

Movie Reviews

Incredibles 2 (2018) Review

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I finally got to see Incredibles 2. Most of you are least familiar with the film so I wont waste your time with too much synopsis. This movie takes place immediately after the events of the first one. After the big confrontation with the Underminer, they are dropped from the government program that helps keep their secret identities a secret. Some dude wants to make supers legal again so Mrs. Incredible gets asked to be the face that will make supers legal again.

I got to tell you guys right now, if you are going into this movie believing the hype, you will be disappointed. I was. I think most of my disappointment comes from being blinded b y nostalgia. I recently revisited the first movie in preparation for the sequel and found that it wasn’t exactly what I remembered. Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoying it but it wasn’t as good as the first couple times I watched it when I was younger.

This one was no different. I even fell asleep for parts of it. It wasn’t as terrible as some sequels are, but it was definitely over hyped. Now what it did well, it did really well. Some of my favorite parts of this film had to do with the family. Well Mr. Incredible trying to raise the family while Mrs. Incredible went off to do work. You can see how hard he struggles and feel the frustration as he finds that the domestic life is much harder than crime fighting. You can see that he misses the glory days and longs desperately to go back but he also wants to do good for his family. I loved these scenes. They were humbling, they were cute, they were real.

The super hero parts I found lacking however. It was interesting to see what they did with Eslasta Girl and how she used her abilities but it wasn’t interesting enough. Her plot was kind of boring. I knew who the villain was as soon as it was introduced and even though they try to misdirect you, the big reveal isn’t surprising. There is action, the animation is great, the music is incredible but the super hero parts just didn’t do it for me. To be completely honest, I forgot a lot of the plot because it was kind of generic. I can’t tell you the names outside of the main family nor can I tell you a detailed synopsis without sounding generic. They repeat a lot of the jokes from the first movie and they aren’t as funny the second time around. I expected a little more after 10 years.

That being said, if you have kids, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE. They’ll love it and you can do a lot worse. It is a well-produced movie for what it is, it’s worth watching on the big screen. I repeat though, do not believe the hype as you will get disappointed. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because I really don’t see me watching this movie again.

Movie Reviews

The Star (2017) Review

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THE PLOT

The Star is director Timothy Rackart’s animated Christmas story. But it is not the traditional Christmas story you’d expept. The plot revolves around the birth of Jesus, yet the plot is centered around the animals that were present for the birth.

The movie opens up with the main character, a mill donkey named Bo who is tired of his life and wants to run away to see what is outside the Mill. We are introduced to his best friend, a bird named Dave who tells him stories of the outside world and tries to help Bo escape. When Bo finally manages to escape, he finds his way to Mary and Joseph’s house. Due to an injury received during his escape, Bo stays with Mary until he can walk. During this stay, a bond forms between Mary and Bo and his desire to leave and see the world isn’t as strong as it used to be.

As this is happening, the three wise men are making their way to the manger and they alert the king of a new king that will be born. We now have a villain who is set to eliminate this new threat. Bo learns of this plot and the rest of the movie is Bo racing to Mary and Joseph to save the day.

The Review

As far as kids movies go, this isn’t bad. It has an incredible cast and the voice acting is great. Now mind you, it is a religious movie geared for kids, so the plot is simple. If you do not like overly cheerful movies without real consequences or danger, you won’t like this movie. With that said, it is a cute movie. The characters are likeable, the jokes aren’t super cheesy, and the animation is really pretty. If you’re an adult, it won’t be terrible. As far as kid’s movies go, you can do a lot worse.

I also would like to point out that this has a really solid sound track. Some kids movies tend to have really cheesy music and I can’t watch some kids films because of the music it has, but I find this one a delight.

If you aren’t a religious person, you won’t take too much issue with this film since it never tries to shove religion down your throat. While it does have some religious elements in it, the main focus is on Bo’s adventure.

Although the movie is geared for kids and the some of the jokes are easy, the film had a few good laughs. They do take the time to explain some jokes after they are made, and explain parts of the plot that are obvious, remember we aren’t the target audience so it works well for a kids film. I didn’t really have any real issue with this movie, I was never bored and not being very religious myself I didn’t think it was too harmful.

I would recommend this to anyone who has kids and needs something to watch. I know my mom would like this film because its not offensive and its cute. Check it out. Final grade 7 out 10. I do so because although I did enjoy it the first time around, I probably wont remember the plot of this movie down the line nor would I watch it again. Definitely give it a watch tho!

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Viral (2016) Review

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Viral (2016) Comes to use from directors Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman and writers Barbara Marhall and Christopher Landon. The film is an outbreak horror film that takes place in the idle of god knows where. An outbreak has happened off screen and we know this because it’s on the news. We learn about the symptoms of what the news is now calling the worm flue. We cut to a girl creepily staring at a couple making out in a hallway of a random high school. This is our main girl, Emma, and the movie being self-aware, calls her out on being a creeper. We are introduced to her best friend? Her only friend? It doesn’t matter because this is the last we hear from her because she is clearly infected. We meet Emma’s love interest Evan, who is the love interest due to his sex appeal? Emma’s desire to have sex with him? From the initial dialogue, that is the depth of her attraction to the love interest.

We meet the sister, Stacey, who is of course the rebellious one and the complete opposite of Emma. We learn more about the virus and that there has been a quarantine. Oh and the best friend has become fully infected at this point. The virus starts to spread through out the city and we learn this because the movie tells us. Instead we get to watch go to a party, get to see the sisters bond, and of course watch the Machine Gun Kelly cameos. After the one-party scene, and it is a terrible party, Stacey gets infected. The rest of the movie drags on where nothing really happens and Stacey struggles to keep her infection a secret.

I don’t know where to begin with this movie. This is the type of horror movie where everyone dies off camera. We get to learn about death through exposition or implication. The biggest issue is that you are stuck with these two sisters throughout the whole movie. It’s like they ran out of money after renting the house where most of the movie takes place that they couldn’t afford anything else. I say the virus doesn’t matter because it barely ever shows up and when it does, it is a shitty jump scare.

Fucking Evan. There is no reason for Evan to be in this movie. He is actually kind of awkward and creepy which I guess works for being Emma’s love interest, but I don’t understand why they are together. Mostly because they are the only ones left in this town for the duration of the movie. This guy can’t act to save his life so scenes where he is supposed to be emotional, or where he is supposed to be scared don’t work because he stands there blankly. They also work really hard to give him a sad story so that maybe you will feel bad for him and ignore his terrible acting. All done through exposition of course.

If you are looking for a good epidemic movie, look somewhere else because most of the time you are stuck dealing with these two girls and their problems. The virus is glossed over so vaguely that I still can’t tell you what it does. Are they zombies? Are they aliens? Who fucking knows.

Although the first half wasn’t terrible, the last half falls off quick and I was sitting here wishing it would just end. This movie would have been over a lot sooner if Stacey hadn’t gone to the party. Or, instead of hiding, they had left like the rest of the teens. But nope, of course everyone in this movie lacks rationality and we have to pay for it with our time. While it isn’t the worst horror movie, or even the worst pandemic movie I have seen, it is bad. Check it out if you like watching bad movies for fun and like to make fun of it. I caution you though, you will run of things to say. I give this film a 3 out of 10.

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Carpool (1996) Review

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Carpool (1996) is a comedy written by Don Rhymer and directed by Arthur Hiller. The movie introduces to a businessman, Daniel, who is late for a meeting. The movie tells us that Daniel works a lot and is very punctual. Today is his families turn to drive the carpool, but his wife cannot do it because she has fallen extremely ill. Daniel now has to take all the kids to school. We are introduced to Daniels two sons whose names don’t matter. We also get introduced to the rest of the kids whose names also don’t matter. Because Daniel is running late, he has to get breakfast for the kids. This is where I’d argue the movie starts, 15 minutes in. In the store, the shop gets robbed. Due to a mistaken identity, Franklin, who happened to be on his way to rob a bank accidently robs the store because the actual robbers are incompetent. Remember that because it is a theme. Franklin ends up taking Daniel and the kids as hostage. The rest of the movie involves all of the hijinks that they must pass as they evade the police and try to get Franklin to his destination.

You should watch this movie if you want to know what it is like to have kids, but not actually have them. The movie even starts off with sound bites of kids being annoying as they are being driven around. The first five minutes are unbearable. Then you meet the kids, who are incredibly forgettable, and you wish you didn’t. They each have a quirk that defines them, but you forget the quirk because for the rest of the movie they just become incredibly annoying. If you’ve made it past the first 15 minutes of the movie, you are ready to be a parent. The first 15 minutes of this movie work to show how annoying kids are as Daniel tries to drive the kids to school and all they do is get on your nerves.

Now I’ll address the incompetence in this movie. Everyone is incompetent in this movie. In fact, this movie would be so much shorter if at least one person was intelligent, but no one in this city is. Literally this movie would have been over at the grocery store but they have to drag it out. The worst part, the movie never gets funny. There is a lot of slap stick that doesn’t land. Everyone in this movie fumbles their way through the scenes and it gets annoying.

If you’ve stuck with this movie to the half way mark you get to watch the kids and the robber franklin because….The movie even becomes self-aware and the father, Daniel, is constantly asking why the kids are helping out the criminal, and no one ever an answer. In fact, through the power of charisma alone, Franklin is able to win the hearts of everyone and is even avoid prison. Sorry, spoilers, but you should really avoid this movie.

This movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. It doesn’t even try to be funny. It’s like baby sitting extremely annoying kids that aren’t yours and you have sit there and watch this mess for an hour. There is absolutely no reason this movie should be this long. There are so many times he should have just been shot. Despite that, even if Franklin makes it to his destination, his face is all over the news. There is no possible outcome that he will walk out of this scenario a free man, even if it is a case of mistaken identity because he goes on to rob the store, kidnap all these people, and his hijinks destroy half the city.

Please skip this one, it’s not a good time even if you like watching bad movies for fun like I do. The characters will annoy you. There is no redeeming factor in this. I grade it 0 out 19. Thanks.

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Upgrade (2018) Review

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Upgrade (2018) comes from writer director Leigh Whannell. Grey is an old-fashioned mechanic living in a world everything is becoming mechanical and automated. Still clinging to the traditional way of living, he doesn’t use any of the modern tech that make up the world. Grey builds muscle cars for people who still want them. After delivering his last car, and being introduced to STEM, the most high-tech innovation for upgrading humans, Grey and his wife are assaulted. The assailants kill greys wife and leave him paralyzed. Eren, the creator of STEM tells him that there is a way he can walk again if Grey allows them to install STEM into his spine. STEM not only gives grey the ability to walk again, but incredible fighting and processing abilities. STEM agrees to help Grey and the rest of the movie is Grey trying to solve his wife’s murder.

I know this movie has been out for a while, but I felt the need to do it. I’ll start with the things I liked. The fight scenes are for the most part, cool. They are different from the traditional fight scenes as they seem more mechanical and calculated. The way STEM takes over and moves GRAY’s body is inhuman and it works. Gray himself is also an interesting character because he isn’t a traditional action hero. Gray is remorseful, he doesn’t want to kill, he’s afraid, and he constantly expresses this. Gray is human, but there are moments when he get’s cocky and emotional and STEM will point it out. Gray is flawed and the only reason that he is capable of being this action hero is because he has STEM. I liked that a lot because this is a action hero that isn’t immortal and it is definitely refreshing.

As for the bad, it gets a little dull. Some of the fight scenes are not great and I got bored on some of them. There is a really boring car chase. It got to the point where I was really only waiting for him to fight more people because although the concept of the plot was cool, the execution was kind of boring. I liked the first half, where he is dealing with being a paraplegic, but then after he gets stem it just got kind of boring if it wasn’t a fight scene. But that is just me. And who am I but some guy who writes movie reviews for fun.

The film itself is a solid watch. I don’t I can watch it again, or if I do it won’t be for a while. But I don’t regret watching it. I recommend it to any one, especially if you are looking for an action movie that doesn’t follow the formula. It is definitely a neat film. I rate it a 7 out of 10.

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Alex Strangelove

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Alex Strangelove is a high school coming of age story of a young teen trying to find his identity. Alex Truelove struggles to come to terms with his sexuality as pressure from his parents, friends, and classmates make life confusing.

The movie itself is awkward, but in a good way. It does a good job depicting the awkward time that is high school. It’s confusing, it’s stressful, it’s scary and you get to experience all these emotions along with Alex. As a coming of age story, it works. I am not sure how it well it works as a coming out story, but I enjoyed it non the less.

It isn’t your traditional high school movie, at least not the one I expected. It has moments where it is quirky, but it doesn’t overdo it. For example, the relationship between Alex and Claire is fun and sweet. The characters are bubbly and they have great chemistry but they do not get annoying. Although I didn’t care for the animal documentary bits. Most importantly, this feels like high school and not what some old guy think’s high school is.

And this movie is stressful, because high school is stressful. There is the stress of trying to get into a good school. The waiting, wondering if he will get into Columbia. There is the pressure from his peers to fit a certain category and Alex, like most teens, doesn’t know what that category is. There is also the pressure of being in school. Getting good grades all while trying to have a social life. Alex has to find the balance between his friends, his love, his family and a school, and that is a lot.

I recommend this movie. It’s funny, it’s cute, and does a really good job at telling a story. It’s probably the first Netflix original movie that I’ve liked a lot and definitely worth checking out, even if you are curious. I rate this movie a 9 out 10.