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Movie Reviews

Little Red Necro (2019) Review

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This wild ride of a movie leaves more questions than answers as it tries to take on a bit too much with its little budget. It is difficult to put this review into words because I am still unsure as to what I have just experienced. But I will try to explain it as I understood it and pick apart its flaws from there.

The movie takes place in a war-torn London. A war against an evil cult of Italian monsters in an undisclosed amount of time in the future. The story centers around the mysterious disappearance of the main character, a mother dealing with the loss of her family and a mysterious presence that is haunting her. There is also a superhuman killer on the loose.

This movie lacks focus. With its small amount of space and resources, it attempts and fails to create a large world. This movie has too many plots. As a result, a lot of them are left unresolved and are distractedly pointless. The war plot adds doesn’t affect the story and could have been left out honestly. There is also a plot about a cult that is confusing as all hell because it is never clear what their alignment is. Are they evil or the heroes of the story? There is also a infidelity plot that seems to be added to provide some drama. Unfortunately, this weaved around the killer’s rampage is incredibly distracting. As a result, there is no real tension as you jump from scene to scene. You will constantly be working hard to peace together the fragments of plot given to you through lazy exposition that seems to be added to connect all the gore.

It seems the movie started with a costume design, or a group of them. A plot was then written around these designs. This hurts the movie because these designs make little sense and don’t look good. The movie jumps from monstrosity to monstrosity trying to create this world full of monsters, but none of them are memorable. None of them look unique, and instead look like cheap copies of each other. Some are incredibly gross for the sake of being gross and their presence doesn’t feel important to the film. They add very little as they are destroyed by the main monster of the film.

Unfortunately, the narrative doesn’t read coherently, but rather like introductions of multiple stories en medias res. You will jump from a barely audible and unenthusiastic conversation with the main character and her friend to a gruesome murder. It feels as if the plot is left secondary in this movie as you can tell most of the effort goes into the murders because of how muted they are in comparison. Scenes with the main character are hard to understand because she sounds so far away, I didn’t understand who she was or why she was there except for the random bits and pieces that were written. In contrast, murders are loud and accompanied by gallons of blood.

Everything about this movie is over the top and cheesy. Body parts explode, the smallest cuts release the flood gates, and the acting doesn’t help much either. It is hard to take this movie serious, and as a result, all the big reveals are muted. This movie is rich with big reveals as they try to connect the plots together, but they do so poorly. I wish they had instead focused on one idea and one plot point and worked on developing the big plot a little more. It could have helped with the tension if instead of boring conversations of infidelity, they focused on creating the lore for the main monster of the movie.

The biggest issue with he movie is the main monster. They do a poor job creating this monster’s lore. You do get snippets of exposition relating to his lore, but they are incredibly cryptic. You do not see much of the monster in throughout the movie. Instead he is an unstoppable mysterious force and it makes the movie kind of boring. Without too much explanation, his intentions seem to be tied to the narrator’s diary. This kills the tension in the movie as every kill is explained by some girl’s edgy journal entries. You learn early on that he is unstoppable as he kills people easily. Even villains set up as somewhat competent are destroyed comically with a single punch. This makes the movie a bit boring as there are no stakes or any semblance of tension. If nothing hurts the beast, why should I care about the bad ass looking villain he is about to face off against?

I can’t tell you the importance of the film’s name, that is never addressed. I also can’t recommend this mess of a movie because even though there is a lot happening, it has no substance. It does a poor job at explaining anything so by the end of it, you will be trying and failing to understand what the fuck you just sat through. It honestly feels like someone made a bunch of monster costumes and pieced them together with poorly written dialogue. If you like incredibly cheesy horror flicks akin to things like Thankskilling, you might get a good laugh at the goofy monsters and over the top special effects. Other than that, there is no reason to watch this wild ride of a movie. You aren’t missing anything important.

Movie Reviews

Awoken (2019) – Review

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This movie does the viewer a great service by informing the viewer the type of movie experience it will take him on in the first 5 minutes; it’s going to be a generic, slow, painful journey of a movie. Hopefully you didn’t pay for it or seek it out as a brief and cheap thrill to your otherwise boring day because there are better way’s to spend your time. This film hits every generic cliché before the movie even begins to gain any kind of traction as a form of entertainment.

Awoken starts, as these movies often do, in the past. A cheap and predictable jump scare later, it cuts to a bored main character in class. I don’t know why the main characters in these movies seem to know in a class that is extremely relevant to the plot, but here we are, in an incredibly foreshadowing lecture that kind of spoils the movie. Not that you should stick around for the rest of it anyways. It is also here that you learn, through lazy exposition, that the main character is orphaned by some mysterious event that will constantly be alluded till its lazy reveal. And of course her obsession to cure her brother’s insomnia is the driving force to the plot of the movie.

A bit hole in this movie is that everything about this girls life is written to make the plot work. Were she not a sleep scientist, having her life directly effected by the villain of the movie, or even been a sleep major, this movie could never happen. Were she a poetry major, for example, her brother would never be put in the hands of the demon. She wouldn’t even know which demon to research as even this seems to be handed to her as a way to move the plot forward. I understand that there is no such thing as a sleep major and I am leaving a lot of details extremely vague, but I want to break down the movie to its basic elements to show how incredibly generic and forced this plot is.

This movie clearly didn’t have enough plot to the movie. It seems to lazily movie from one moment of gore to the next to achieve shock. You see someone hang themselves because reasons and then it quickly tries to move to the next scene. There clearly wasn’t enough plot in this movie because when you aren’t watching gore, you get to watch the main character work on a failed relationship that existed off screen. If that doesn’t sound exciting to you, that is because it isn’t. There are so many failed attempts at creating character depth in this movie, but all the characters are forgettable. This is mostly because they try to create this depth through exposition dumps. The best part of the film is a weirdly placed Settlers of Catan reference, but that isn’t reason enough to watch this movie.

This movie is without any real substance. There are so many holes in this movie that it doesn’t make sense. The parts that do make sense are done lazily and are rather boring. If you are a horror movie buff, you can find this concept done better elsewhere. This movie is so incredibly predictable that it becomes a chore to watch. Don’t pay for this movie, we can’t keep supporting these generic cash grabs for the sake of a movie date. We need content, narrative, and depth and this movie offers none of that.

Movie Reviews

Aladdin (2019) – Review

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The recent trend of rebooting past series a modernizing them leaves me a bit uneasy. On one hand, it is nice to see a new generation experiencing media that was formative for my cultural identity, but on the other hand it is easy for greed to make such unique ideas come out incredibly generic. I also understand that it is easy for nostalgia to create an unfair bias against a movie that would otherwise be considered good. I will not be comparing the movie to the original but instead be focusing on its own merits. Because of this I will not go into too much plot summary since most people should at least be somewhat familiar with the plot of the movie.

The movie starts off as a framed narrative that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. The narrator of the story is Will Smith, and if you haven’t figured it out, this is a Will Smith movie. Now I am not saying that Smith is a bad actor, he is not, I am saying that his overbearing presence seems hurts the movie because most of everything else doesn’t fit the tone. My biggest issue with the recent reboots is the star studded cast. Seems like most of these movie’s cast people not because they fit the roll, but because it will give the movie more name recognition. Unfortunately, this movie is hurt by it’s star.

Will Smith as Genie isn’t a bad choice by any means. Some of his delivery is solid and his singing is good enough to be in the movie, but they make his presence suffocating. They are really trying to get the most out of Smith for what they paid for. Because of this, there is an uninteresting love plot between Genie and the handmaiden that only comes to light because the plot demands it. Some of the songs are modernized so that Smith can have a solo and while sometimes it is ok, they ruin it by adding rap to it. I know Smith had a career as a rapper and I have nothing against rap music, I like it, but it is a problem when an otherwise great song has its rhythm halted because they want to reach the teens in the audience. I can honestly say that this movie is all about Genie and less about the forbidden love story that they keep cutting back as it is remembered. While he isn’t the worst choice for the Genie, I would have liked it better if the focus was on the story instead of Genie shenanigans.

Because of his overreaching presence, the main characters feel like supporting characters. Any of the character development, as little as there is, is kind of briefly mention and that really hurts this movie. This is a movie that is meant to be about breaking out of traditional roles and labels and becoming the truest self. These big moments are rushed because they spend so much time on unnecessary filler. When Jazmin finally fights back and when Aladdin finally accepts who he is, it doesn’t feel as big because there was little in this movie to show them working for that. Sure the musicals numbers suggest that the plot is moving in that direction, but this is the equivalent to an exposition dump. It really does hurt the narrative when the journey to character growth is summarized in song instead of having meaningful scenes that show the growth. I would have rather they removed some of the Genie scenes and Genie’s love interest and replaced it instead with scenes with the actual main characters.

The movie feels incredibly stiff because most of it is shot on green screen. I am not a huge fan of CGI because some of it looks ugly, and this movie has some ugly scenes and that was a huge distraction for me. Some scenes lose their effect as a result. For example, the carpet ride looks cheap and the actors look incredibly uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel magical nor does it feel like they are making any sort of real connection. It is feels like two people standing in front of a camera, swaying occasionally for effect.

In closing, this movie isn’t anything remarkable. It is put together like a bunch of Genie sketches with only the thinnest amount of plot to move you to the next Genie scene. If you have kids, this isn’t the worst movie you will have to sit through. It is honestly one of the best if not the best Disney live action ones I have seen so far. It’s fun enough to watch, but it probably won’t be remembered.

Movie Reviews

Radioactive (2019) – Review

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This pretty unremarkable biopic leaves too much to be desired. This film focuses on the re-imagining of the life of the renowned Marie Curie. It follows her as she must navigate through both her personal and professional life. Unfortunately, the film takes the life of such an interesting person and makes it rather boring.

This is a film without much focus, and unfortunately it does hurt the narrative. It jumps from scene from topic to topic as if it were a college presentation on her biography. As a result, the experience becomes a dull one because the scenes little depth to any of parts of her life. Scenes will either mention adversity as a lazy exposition, like her sister mentions that they don’t like her because she is polish. Instead of showing a hatred and unfair treatment she receives, you get scenes like this where she doesn’t seem phased. A lot of what this movie tries to get across were the amounts of hurtles that she was forced to jump over because of her sex and race. These scenes should be frustrating, tense, seemingly impossible so that when she finally is able to succeed, it is satisfying. But this film isn’t able to create any of that and so when she finally does succeed, you are so bored it doesn’t matter.

The tension in this movie is incredibly lacking. I never for once feel like there is any real urgency or threat to her success. When she gets denied repeatedly and even when she is getting sick from the radon, the scenes play out a little too hopeful. This wouldn’t be a problem if the scenes were meant to be hopeful. What is worse, any scene that is able to achieve some semblance of tension are ruined with scenes of future inventions that were only possible because of her work. The movie often times will shift from serious scene, like when she is dealing with the loss of her husband, to a more hopeful scene of the future of her research. This break of tension becomes tedious and annoying as it interrupts the narrative. I do applaud them for trying something different, but this is just filler. I would have liked it better it were left as text at the end of the movie and instead these scenes were replaced with actual content.

It is a shame that this isn’t a better movie because Rosamund Pike is truly wasted in her role. Most sense in this movie don’t allow for her to show her true potential. When there is so much lazy uninspired conversation, needless sex scenes, and a lack of tension, it can be easy to dismiss her performance as Marie Curie. But this shouldn’t be the case. There is a scene that comes to mind when she is looking down at the open casket of her late husband and she breaks down, you can see the frustration and the pain of losing someone so important to her in just this short scene. Even though it was lazily established throughout the movie that she loves her husband absolutely, it is in this scene where she makes you believe it. This scene alone is why I don’t dismiss this movie completely. But it is only a small part of the movie and in the end, not really worth the watch unless you want a quick summary of her life without having to look it up on Wikipedia.

In the end, maybe watch this movie if you want some background noise while you work. It isn’t engaging or interesting enough to maintain your attention but maybe you will learn something. If that isn’t your interest, this isn’t a very good movie and you can skip it.

Movie Reviews

The Lodge (2019) – Review

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This review was a little difficult to complete. Not because of quality of the movie, but it is hard to talk about without spoiling the experience. So, this will be the most careful treading I will do in hopes of convincing you dear reader to watch this movie.

This suspenseful, tense, drama filled story will have you gripping at the edge of your seat as you experience one of the oddest weekends at the lodge upstate. Now, I must warn you, this movie is a slow start, and some scenes are a little long but this works in conjunction with the tone of the movie.

The movie starts off in the middle of a divorce. An awkward, almost silent car ride to the father’s house suggest that no one is happy with the situation. The silence only interrupted by slides towards the father’s new wife. A few awkward conversations, more silence, and a failed attempt to make peace between the kids and Grace (the new stepmother), it is decided that the weekend will be spent at the lodge. I do not name the father because he is barely in the movie save to give the kids and grace the reason to be at the same location. Father goes to work, leaving the kids and grace alone with something darker.

This movie does an excellent job at creating tension. The sterile silence that slinks around the cabin, only to be interrupted by sounds of daily activity echo that the kids do not like the Grace. And this movie is incredibly quite. You hear them fidget with papers. You hear the sound of the drawers when while they are talking to each other because conversations are forced and quiet. Add this to the fact that the lodge is on an isolated part of the lake and you have a creepy thriller that is creepy because of the elements that go into and not cheap jump scares. It proves that movie doesn’t need to really on a scary monster, tons of blood, or a creepy cult to elicit fear.

If you have seen Hereditary and enjoyed it, watch this movie. Although I wouldn’t consider this movie as horror, the suspense it builds is more than enough to have your heart pumping a little faster than it’s used to. Despite it’s slow start and some of the scenes taking forever, it does so much right. I definitely recommend this movie.

Movie Reviews

Earth Girls are Easy (1988) Review

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What can I say about this movie except that if you haven’t seen it, you definitely should. It isn’t the gripping story arch, in depth character development, nor its attention to detail world building that makes this a great movie. This movie has very little, if any, of these elements. Instead, it is the explosion of 80’s nostalgic madness that you have the pleasure to experience. And this movie is 80’as fuck! From the music to the set and costume design, you will get your nostalgia fix.

Aliens on a search for women find themselves at Earth’s doorstep. Specifically, in the pool of the main character Valerie Gale. Valerie has had her world turned upside down after discovering that her fiancé, the man who she was to marry in two weeks, is a cheater. Distraught and alone, she throws herself a pity party when the aliens come and interrupt it. Quickly realizing they are aliens’ shenanigans happen until they can communicate with Valerie that they are friendly. A quick changing montage musical number later and boom they are transformed into human men. The idea that these furry creatures can be turned into good looking men with the help of pounds of make-up is comical and is akin to the tone of the movie, but I digress. Now, the newly human aliens must wait for the pool to be drained so that they can leave earth and continue their search. In the meantime, they get to experience Californian culture as tourists. And this of course is the cause of a lot of shenanigans.

Sure, it is a bit slap sticky, and the bits drag on longer than they should in some points, but the ride is well worth the trouble. If it isn’t enough to ogle at a shirtless young Jeff Goldblum, you will get a lot of silly musical numbers as well as a reminder of aspects form the 80’s you probably haven’t thought about since the 90’s. The music in this movie is pretty great and echo the film’s lack of seriousness. Everything is bouncy, upbeat and erratic as if the film itself is fueled by the same mountains of cocaine that were used to write and direct it. And all of this madness and chaos just works!

Be forewarned however, this movie might be offensive for modern audience. I can see where it can be problematic and sexist, but this isn’t a movie that should be taken seriously. And it shouldn’t. This spastic journey into Southern California culture through the lens of aliens is just something fun you put on when you don’t want to follow a complicated plot or travel through back to the wackiest parts of the 90’s.

I definitely recommend this movie not for its groundbreaking impact it has on cinema, it has non, but for the fun ride you will get to experience. It is incredibly cheesy and over the top though, so if that isn’t your scene, then this isn’t the movie for you. In conclusion, Valley girls are easy.

Movie Reviews

Shazam! (2019) Review

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I am not a huge fan of live action superhero movies, but I love them in comics and animation. That said, I really wanted to like this movie. Who doesn’t want to see Captain Marvel in action! Unfortunately, this movie leaves a lot to be desired. This movie follows a foster kid Billy Batson who receives powers from an old order of wizards to protect the world form antient evil. If it already sounds generic, that is because it is incredibly so. It is a troubled hero who is searching for his mother so that he can feel complete, only to have this search complicated by this new condition.

What I thought the movie did well was how Billy initially reacts to his newfound powers. Suddenly, he has the powers to be an adult and he takes full advantage, engaging in adult activities teenage boys fantasize on. He buys beer for he and his friend, he goes to a strip club, and he excuses himself from school. It neat to see that he isn’t a completely good hero because his main interests aren’t to be traditional hero, but to use this power for personal gain. But this novelty quickly dissolves under the same tired formula we see in all origin stories. I for one am tired of watching training montages. It was good in Rocky and it worked in Spiderman but at this point, it just feels like padding for a movie that barely has a story. This montage isn’t anything new, it is the same jokes you see in every other movie where you see Billy fail over and over until he has some small form of mastery. If you are still watching the movie at this point, it doesn’t get any better.

What you get after is an uninspired forgettable villain that he must defeat. And he is forgettable. When he shows up for the big fight, I had honestly forgotten he was part of the movie because there is nothing interesting. You get a bit of backstory, but not enough to set him aside as this menace. There is no pressure for him to become stronger like there is in other movies of the genre because the villain is mostly absent from the movie, save for the times he is sprinkled in to remind the audience. Early on you get the feeling that there aren’t any real consequences, even though people do die in this movie it doesn’t matter because you can probably guess that Captain Marvel will win through the power of friendship. It literally tells you minutes into the movie, and as generic as this movie is, you should not be surprised. It is apparent that this movie was just a cheap attempt to cash in on the super hero craze and it is a shame because I have seen DC movies where they are able to tell a compelling story without reverting to the same old tropes.

Because there is no story, this movie lacks the character development to make even Captain marvel forgettable. The movie will flat out tell you important character traits, it’s an incredibly lazy way to fake a story. For example, there is a scene after the training montage where Billy sneaks back into the foster home his foster parents are disappointed that he ran away after the first night. He conveniently walks in at the end of this conversation and somehow understands the trouble he is causing. This is shown through a zoom cut to a remorseful Billy. There are no scenes where they spend time together, breaking down the metaphoric walls he’s built to protect his heart. There are no heart-warming scenes that suggest that maybe this collection of misfits could be his family. Instead you get a kid playing with his superpowers for a day and the movie telling you that Billy is experience character growth because it is written in the script. I wouldn’t have an issue with this if the movie hadn’t put so much emphasis on it’s importance. In the end when things seem the darkest, it is the love for his newfound family that gives him the power to persevere. See, it’s the same thing you’ve seen over and over again but not very well done.

I wouldn’t pay for this movie. If you were unfortunate to pay for it, I am sorry you got ripped off. I wouldn’t even recommend this film if it were free because there is nothing really worth watching. It is a shame because I do prefer the DC universe, but it seems that they aren’t able to get their formula correct. Oh well, skip it.

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Good Time (2017) Review

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If you want to know what it means to be anxious, watch this movie. The tension, the acting, the suspense and the pacing will have you at the edge of your seat as you watch bad decision after bad decision being made. To put it simply, you get to feel what it is like to be truly cornered by an inescapable fate and it is an amazing ride.

The movie follows Connie Nikas who is on the run from the law after a bank robbery goes wrong. Now he must avoid getting caught as he tries his hardest to get his brother out of custody. His brother gets caught after they robbed the bank. Now it is a race against time.  What makes this movie amazing is how it creates tension through small details that constantly present themselves as he tries to stay hidden. It is clear early on that this isn’t going to be easy for Connie, and it shouldn’t be. While on the run, Connie will pass multiple cops who are currently hunting him down. You learn that Connie is kind of a piece of shit, and you learn through his failed attempts to find asylum that he has no where to go. What do you do when you have no where to hide? You run! And there is a lot of running in this movie. This is a high octane; high tension movie and you will have no choice but to echo the small sighs of relief and respite that Connie finds through out his journey. And these moments are few and become more far in between as he digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble.

As a character, Connie is brilliant. He only cares about two things, himself and his brother and it is echoed throughout the movie as he does whatever it takes to get his brother back. He does so even if it means hurting and using both the people he knows and strangers. Connie is smart, despite his continually making bad decisions. When faced with a problem, he is quick to make decisions. The lies he forms, the quick change in appearance, how easily he seems to move from one problem to the next suggest that he is a veteran at his craft. But he is not the traditional cool headed, or even hot-headed action hero thief as seen in similar films. As he gets more and more cornered, you see him start to break. You can see the toll the chase is taking on him. He is tired, he is thirsty, he is desperate and that makes him human. Being human is important because it adds to the tension in the film. You feel that at any moment, his journey will end with one mistake. And as his journey progresses, you can see that he is learning from it. The key is that through all this chaos, he does experience personal growth and he ends up at the end of the movie changed by the outcome, even if it isn’t the traditional bad ass that we have become accustomed to. Robert Pattinson’s performance alone should be reason to watch the film.

If you haven’t seen this movie, I would definitely recommend it. If you saw Uncut Gems and liked it, then you should watch the far better older brother. It’s a great movie for those who love thrillers but are tired of the same tired formula.

Movie Reviews

Stuber (2019) Review

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It’s another buddy cop movie, and not a very good one at that. Even worse, it’s an update to the movie Taxi. Same general idea but surprisingly not as good. If you can get this one for free, go for it. It isn’t a terrible sit, but I wouldn’t pay for this movie because It’s not really worth it. It is incredibly generic save for the forced politically correct jokes that it will interrupt the flow of the movie with. There are scenes where they will play these jokes as an odd nod to millennials and it does not work. Is this a new trend? I saw a lot of this in the newest Men in Black movie and it was honestly distracting. I do not have an issue with these types of jokes mind you, but I do have an issue with how they are delivered in these movies. Often times it will be in the middle of a random scene where the politically correct token character will stop the scene in order to correct something insensitive that was said. Once in a while, sure this might be a funny jest and get a decent chuckle but when it happens every time it loses it’s effectiveness. And in this movie, it becomes a little preachy. I don’t want to be preached at when I am watching a comedy.

Kamail Nanjiani is a token in this movie. His role could have been casted by anyone with a similar build. He is wasted in this film. The acting is not terrible, and you will get some chuckles out of it, but you will not remember watching this movie. The movie does very little to stand out, save for constantly mentioning uber. Batista plays a big dude and they will take every opportunity they get to point that out. Nanjiani is a skinny loser and they will take every opportunity to make sure you know that he is. Like every other movie, they will not get along but because of their journey together they will ultimately forge a lasting meaningful friendship. That is to say, they will become friends because the script says they should.

There isn’t anything deeper to this film and I know that I shouldn’t have gone into this film expecting such but I at least expected some kind of story. Instead what you get is just these caricatures being moved from joke to joke as they are forced to grow closer to one another as is tradition with this genre of film. All this is loosely inter-weaved into some drug case that I honestly forgot was a thing until the very end. The driving force behind this whole adventure merely comes forth in small segments in between all the jokes about uber and bickering between the lead. In the end, several plot points are breezed by and some of them are forgotten if not hastily tied together because they have to remind you what UBER is again.

All in all let’s call this film what it really is, a giant commercial for UBER. The films will stop multiple times to explain different aspects of the app on both the rider and driver side. Take these out and the PC jokes and the movie sadly becomes hollow because there is nothing more to this movie. Who wants to pay money to watch an UBER ride? All in all it is not the hardest sit, there are worse out there, but don’t pay money for this. This is a movie you throw in the background while you do chores or Netflix and chill if that is still a thing.

Movie Reviews

Huslers (2019) Review

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I didn’t expect much from this movie going into it, and I was not wrong. I will say it now, skip this movie because there is nothing that saves it, not even the fan service.

My biggest problem with this film is the narration. I hate narration in any form because of how lazy it is. Narration, in my opinion, is an easy cop out to sound deep. It is a device used by filmmakers when they do not have faith in their audience to come up with their own conclusions. Therefore, narration is used as a way to railroad the audience into having a certain opinion of the film. In this movie’s case, it was to hammer in some form of sympathy for the strippers. The narration itself is boring, it lacks any emotion and it feels as if Constance Wu is reading outload. Why should I care if the person telling the story doesn’t. Wu is also an unreliable narrator. What she says, how she says it, and the actual events suggest that her story isn’t the whole story. You will be stuck listening to a story that doesn’t matter.

There isn’t enough story in this plot to flesh out a full movie. As a result, this movie has a lot of unnecessary padding. These include pointless cameos, comic relief characters serving their purpose, there is even a scene where they open Christmas presents. They try incredibly hard to make you empathize with the strippers, but it is hard to do when they are screwing over innocent people. Take out these scenes, and you have a far shorter yet equally uninteresting movie.

There is too much to say about this terrible movie. Do not watch this as there is no saving grace. Even the fan service that this movie provides, and it provides a small amount, doesn’t save this movie. It’s a movie with a bunch of poorly acted scenes stringed together with terrible narration. Spend your time elsewhere. If you are thinking about watching it for the fan service, don’t bother, just watch the scenes on youtube.