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Youtube Reviews: Bait Shop (2008)

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This movie wasn’t bad, it was just boring. It is generic, lazy, and not really worth your time. This movie suffers a lot from its writing. The acting is fine and they try hard with the little they are given, but the jokes don’t really land and they try so hard to be funny that it leaves the movie feeling cartoonish.

This movie is a copy of these save the dying business comedies like Barbershop or Dodgeball, but it doesn’t have the charm that those movies have. Honestly, if you have seen one of these movies, you have seen them all.

Here is the plot: Man owns a failing business. Bills have been piling up for so long that they bank rightfully comes to take the failing business. There is a big evil corporation that comes to town who comes to take the business. There is a time limit and price tag to save the business. When hope seems lost, there is a contest with a prize that is conveniently the amount needed to save the business. For some reason, the leader of the successful business takes too much interest in this small failing business and also enters the contest to attempt to block the save. There is an embarrassing first encounter where the main character loses badly. He rallies and begins to win but there’s a fight between he and his friends. Some sabotage later the friends come back and work together on some rule bending technicality that wins them the contest, the town, and the girl. The Villain loses everything.

Honestly this movie, and movies like this wouldn’t work if the villain did nothing and waited for the failing business to fail a again. Despite the bait shop being the social hub for the community, the community is 4 people who don’t spend any money on bait.

If you like movies in this genre, I would suggest watching one of the better ones in the series. This one is incredibly generic and forgettable. It isn’t funny, entertaining, or worth your time.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Youtube Reviews: School for Scoundrels (2006)

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This is an odd one. Some of the jokes have not aged well, but it isn’t a terrible movie. I recommend it just for the performances. The conflict between Billy Bob Thorton and John Hader in this movie, although dumb as it is, is something you should not ignore. John Heder has this gift of portraying truly awkward characters. There are scenes in this movie that are incredibly awkward to watch. Billy Bob Thorton’s performance should not be overlooked either. He is able to be the perfect villain for this type of movie.

My only real issue with this movie is the love interest. Amanda only exists to be the prize and that is problematic. Her whole personality is boiled down to be the girl the rivals fight over. As a result she is inexplicably infatuated by a guy who up to the events of the movie has not left much of an impression. I think Sarah Silverman says it best when she compares continually compares him to a serial killer. But this movie really isn’t about her or her lack of personality and if you treat her like the object the film makes her to be, it shouldn’t be a problem. She doesn’t add anything to the plot except create a central conflict.

Overall, it’s not a waste of time. As cheesy as this movie is, I’d watch it just to see John Heder and Billy Bob Thorton perform.

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Movie Reviews

Youtube Reviews: So Undercover

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This was one of the better movies I have seen on the plat form. It is a generic undercover movie with a simple plot and simple characters. Honestly, if you have kids, you can do a lot worse. What really makes this movie work, scratch that, the only thing that makes this movie work is Miley Cyrus. Whatever your feelings might be about her, it is undeniable that she is talented. Without her charisma, this movie would fall flat as an forgettable, poorly written undercover movie. While it may in no way be a movie you will hold dearly for the rest of your life, it has a certain charm that makes it bearable.

I would not recommend this for adults. The plot is a little childish. You have this strong, capable and smart female lead that is put in a situation that is far outside her comfort zone. It is through this experience that she learns the value of trying something new, to not judge people by their appearance, and most importantly, the value of friendship. It’s not transcending in what it does, but if you have kids, you won’t hate the experience.

My only issue with the movie is the love interest, there was no real need for him to be in the movie. She establishes herself as the strong independent woman and one of the major factors for changing her attitude is that she falls in love with this dude. I wish they would have focused more on the interpersonal relationships between her and the other girls of sorority so that the ending didn’t feel like it came out of nowhere. But that’s a little too much to ask for a movie of this caliber. It’s definitely not something you will watch again.

Watch it with your kids.

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Youtube Reviews: Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector

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This movie was made at the height of Larry the Cable Guy’s popularity. If you have seen any of his work, you have seen all his work. He plays the same character, encounters the same obstacles, and learns the same lessons. The only difference in his roles are the skin that the movie takes. Whether he is a Tow Truck, a soldier, or a health inspector, Larry the Cable Guy is the good hearted redneck with a lot more to offer than meets the eye. As a result, his movies tend to be repetitive and I would argue boring. There is so much you can do with this character and they clearly ran out of ideas with this movie.

It’s not that this movie is bad, it’s just that it is boring. It is so dumbed down and easy that I would argue that it was created for a younger audience. Nothing really stands out in this movie and I for one was left unimpressed by everyone’s lack luster performance. It’s almost as if the cast knew that no one was going to see this movie. There really isn’t much I can say about this movie. I wouldn’t watch it unless you like his comedy and lots of gross out humor. If you are looking for a funny comedy to watch, go elsewhere.

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New to Town (2009) Review – A love story they should have told better

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I will not sit here and try to sell you on a movie that is mediocre at best. The plot is generic and contrived and there is no chemistry between the main characters. It is hard to watch a love story about two people who only seem to only tolerate each other. The movie does try to address some deep issues like how corporate America can ruin small rural towns, but it does not go deep enough. It shouldn’t, it is a rom com, but these scenes are more thought out and impressive than the romantic plot that seems to be thrown in there out of necessity.

The biggest problem with this movie is the pacing. They mix so many plots that they leave very little time to flesh any of them out fully. When she shifts from hating the town to wanting to save it seems to come almost out of nowhere because it is so sudden. I wish they would have abandoned the romance plot, that being the weakest in the movie. I wish movies like this would stop defining woman’s happiness by their relationship with me and instead focus on the deeper non-romantic connections they could make. If you take out the romance plot from this movie, it could turn into a heartwarming film about a woman who wants to save a town because of the friendships she has made in the process.

I would argue that it is the relationship that Blanche forges with Lucy that ultimately saves the town. The character Blanche is the only reason why I enjoyed this movie as much as I did. I Stopped following Lucy’s narrative early on because she is a generic character. Instead, I chose to follow Blanche closely. Blanche starts out the movie as this almost overbearing presence. She doesn’t stop talking and she is always inserting herself into Lucy’s life. But as the movie progresses it’s clear that Blanche is going out of her way to make sure Lucy feels welcomed in her town. I believe that her motives are altruistic and Blanche’s kindness is indeed genuine. This overbearing presence she has slowly becomes normal and scenes without her seem lifeless. I think the film does a great job at showing this progression of from annoying to friendly not only for Lucy, but for the audience as well. I think this friendship was the most important aspect of this films plot and I wish they developed it a lot more.  

My main issue with this movie is the love interest. They could have dropped him from the movie and it would not have changed the plot. He has such little impact in this movie that I forget his name. Instead, they should have taken more time to develop Lucy’s relationship with the town. They could have shown her slowly building a rapport with the townspeople and maybe even start developing a routine. They could have shown her going into a shop and the owner knows her by name and what she likes to order. I would have rather seen a heartwarming scene between Blanche and Lucy instead of the messy fight she has in the factory with the workers. This movie should have been more about her relationship with the town and factory.

If you are looking for a good romantic comedy, you have already seen better. Go watch those instead. If you are looking for a dumb movie to put in the background while you do chores, this is a valid choice. It could make a fun date night movie, the plot is simple and you do not need to pay attention to the movie to get the gist. There are worse ways to spend an hour and some change, but you probably won’t remember watching this movie.

Movie Reviews

Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)

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I am going to try to do different format of reviews, one that is shorter and serves more as a recommendations of films I believe everyone should watch at least once.

If you haven’t seen it or heard of this movie, this is one you should not sleep on. The movie follows Zak who, because of his disabilities, isn’t allowed to live his life. He is trapped as the youngest patient in an assisted living facility for the elderly. Frustrated with the restraints society has forced onto him, he runs away.. You see, it is Zak’s dream to become like the wrestler that he idolizes. To realize this dream, Zak makes it his goal to attend the school of wrestling ran by his idol. It is on this journey that he meets up with Tyler who not only decides to help him, but they form a strong lasting bond along the way.

This is a story of discovery, of new beginnings, and a freedom that can only be on the open road. It is about achieving your goals at the face of adversity. Simply watching these two on screen together should be reason enough for you to at least check it out. Their on screen chemistry is nothing to overlook, and by the end of it, you trully believe there is a lasting bond between the two characters. It is a really heartwarming story and one that is done very well. Although not without its flaws, it is one that should be next in your queue.  You wont regret it. If you have seen it, let me know what you thought about it. Or let me know if you would like me to do a deeper analysis of the movie. Thank you!

Movie Reviews

Haunted Maze (2017) – Review

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I won’t waste your time with the obvious. This movie is bad. The acting, the production, and the lack of story is all sloppily put together and falsely marketed as a movie. Don’t watch this movie, even if you like making fun of terrible movies, there is nothing here for you. Most of the time if you can’t hear what is going on, you can’t see. I found this movie accidentally thinking it was something else and I hate myself terribly for having to watched it.

Now I will dig a little deeper into why Haunted Maze doesn’t work. The protagonist, if you can call them that, are unlikable and have no presence in the movie. You are quickly introduced to the protagonist who’s only defining characteristic is that they are teens. At least, they are what the director thinks teens are. It is a really poor depiction and it doesn’t help that they all have the acting ability of cardboard. If you get passed the poor acting and terrible dialogue, they are all assholes. None of the protagonist are likable and I instantly wished for the killer to do the great service of erasing them from this movie. Horror movies need a least one good character. A relatable essence that people want to see succeed and survive. Here, you get a brief introduction to a group of friends who really shouldn’t be friends and I would argue that their toxic relationship is more dangerous than the killer clown.

Now the biggest issue with the movie is the villain of the film. It is clear early on that this was a film that started with a concept and a movie was made around it. Worse yet, it seems that the film is a collection of unrelated ideas put together without any clear goal or story in mind. There are too many plots in this movie and none of them are resolved. This also means that this movie doesn’t have a solid flow as it will jump from scene to scene hoping for connections that aren’t there. Worse yet, the plot points this movie feigns to have seem to be quirks that come across lame.

The biggest quirk in this movie is the villain. It is clear of the bat that the actor who plays the killer clown is trying his hardest. He easily delivers the best performance out of the whole cast by far. It is not good enough to merit the watch, but I will give him that credit. That said, this is the worst killer clown you can have chasing you. He fucking talks in rhyme. Why does he talk in rhyme? That is never addressed. In fact, none of his character is explained. There is no rhyme or reason why he has to be a clown when nothing in his past suggest this as a logical personality. He is a killer just because and that instantly makes him such a flat villain. A good villain needs to have a motive, goal, personality outside of just a quirk. There needs to be a reason for him to act the way he acts and him being a killer clown because it is a horror movie frankly isn’t enough. You get tired of this clown so quickly because he talks so much but never once explains why he is hunting teens.

Some might argue that the traumatic experience from his past is reason enough to create believable motive as well as form his personal identity, but this movie brushes past this explanation so quickly and makes such a wild leap to killer clown that it doesn’t work. Had they done like in the first Halloween movie and shown a traumatic childhood, events and actions that suggest that he was leading down the killer clown path, or even made his father a killer clown it would have given the clown a little more depth. I don’t use names because honestly, it is so generic of a concept it doesn’t matter. With out this basic level of character development, there is no reason to care about the villain. With out any motive, any depth, the villain isn’t memorable. Think about all your favorite villains. Even those in slashers extend more than just a quirk and blood-thirst. You work because you understand the motive, they have weight and feel real because they have flaws and goals.

This is too much thought and analysis for a movie that was done with way too little thought. Honestly, you won’t get passed the first five minutes because of how badly everything is done. I did it so you don’t have to. Skip it like your life depended on it!

 

Movie Reviews

Xane: The Vampire God

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This is a terrible movie, hurt by its artistic choices and horrible acting. But I will be focusing on the failed anti-hero that is Xane.

For context, Xane travels back in time to stop himself from killing the Caine, the vampire king, and save the world. The problem is that because of time-travel, he has created a new timeline and must work harder now to save the world. Time travel creates a lot of holes in the plot that they will of course fill with poor reads of exposition. The other problem with time-travel is that it creates a hero’s journey for Xane that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because his actions in this timeline will create a paradox loop where he is always traveling back in time to stop himself in order to fix a terrible outcome he creates. I should mention that the reason he goes back in time is because he lives in a future where he has destroyed everything because he can’t die. It is based on this fact alone that I can’t call him a hero because he is only trying to erase his deeds rather than try to fix them. Instead, his journey is a little bit more selfish and self-serving rather than the righteous one the film suggests he is on.

The film does a terrible job establishing vampire lore, specifically when it comes to powers. This is bad when the story’s main plot points are these vampires. Vampires who aren’t the main three look like normal humans with dried red paint bleeding from their eyes. They are slow and have no real presence in the movie save to remind the audience that this is a vampire movie. Xane on the other hand is incredibly overpowered to the point that it makes him uninteresting. He can travel through time, has super strength, and is immortal. He is a generic, but poorly done edgy anti-hero who never faces any real consequences. If he doesn’t succeed in whatever he is trying to achieve, what is to stop him from resetting the loop at will?

Action heroes work because despite their superhuman feats, there is always a chance of getting defeated. This moment of hubris is essential in character growth because it makes the hero more relatable. But it also creates an opportunity to grow as a character as they have to overcome an adversity with something other than god given talent. In this film that is all but stripped from Xane because there is nothing really to give him adversity. That and his journey doesn’t really count because of time travel. Even in movies where the hero seems to incredibly superhuman, like John Wick, you get to see exhaustion take its toll, giving the story tension because there is a chance that the hero might lose.

In short, don’t make your character’s overpowered. Even Superman has kryptonite.  For a hero’s journey to be effective and hero be able to earn his title, he must have to not only work for it, but the journey has to matter. Sure, there are examples where the hero is overpowered and it works, but there was still a defining flaw that humanizes them. I would argue that there can’t be a perfect all-powerful hero because there needs to be this drama and obstacles that she has to overcome.

I put way too much thought into a movie that shouldn’t be worth this much effort, but I honestly got so bored that this is where it led me. I wouldn’t watch this movie unless you have fun making fun of bad movies. There is a lot of dumb dialogue and interesting choices that make it impossible to take this movie serious.

Movie Reviews

Vivarium (2019) Review

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Vivarium is an incredibly underwhelming movie with a decent cast and an ok story. The movie is about a young couple whose house search lands them to a neighborhood they can never escape. It is here that they are given a child to raise. Being trapped slowly begins to take a toll on the couple’s relationship and, well nothing really happens.

After they are settled in the house and are given a child to care, they sort of fall into the motions rather quickly. Each person has a task they must complete for whatever reason, and it incredibly boring to watch. Each day starts with dealing with breakfast, but each time they change the scene ever so slightly to show that the situation is taking its toll on their relationship. The problem is, it doesn’t matter. It is so boring that you stop caring about watching people doing chores. I wish they did a better job at creating more tension and hopelessness. It doesn’t feel like that they are trapped here, instead it just feels like you are watching a couple take care of a kid when they don’t want to take care of the kid. Yeah they get upset with each other and they become unexplainably obsessed with whatever task the aliens programmed them to do, but this doesn’t create the tension nor does it create the creepy tone this movie needed to be successful.

The biggest issue with the movie is that the plot doesn’t make sense.  There is no reason for them to be there, there is nothing to explain why they are there. Nothing to explain what the aliens are doing. It seems that they had a concept for a movie, but it was never fully fleshed out to create cohesive story. They get to the neighborhood and start doing chores and dying because reasons. They add a lot of scenes for the sake of adding a creepy seen, but they add nothing to the film. They go as far as heavily suggesting that aliens are behind the whole plot, but they never do anything with them. It is incredibly difficult to talk about this movie because of how shallow of a plot it has. Clearly most of the budget was used to create this weird suburban prison because so much time is spent showing how creepy this world is, but so little time is spent on the actual plot of the movie.

The worst part of the film is the foreshadowing. In the first five minutes, the movie goes out of it’s way to summarize the rest of the movie. A cuckoo takes over a nest and now this new mama bird is tricked into raising the parasite. Oh and Jessie Eisenberg buries the babies for whatever reason. There is no reason to watch it passed this point because the rest the movie is a more drawn out and boring version of this scene.

I wanted to like this movie. I have seen some cool culty creepy movies about suburbia that have always been my favorite but was instead incredibly disappointed. I wish they did more with the aliens. I wish it wasn’t so drawn it out and they actually acted like natural humans who were trapped rather than robots programmed to take care of this alien kid. I wish they had spent a little more time explaining how anything in this world worked so I can understand the severity of their situation. Instead you get chores the movie and I don’t recommend this to my worst enemy. Skip it.

 

Movie Reviews

Red Rover (2018) Review

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Red Rover is a movie that proves that a movie doesn’t need a huge budget to tell a story. Although the story of the movie is not the best, it is able to create a fluid one.

The movie starts with introducing the main character Damon, who by all accounts fits the loser trope. He is nonathletic and a bit overweight, he is meek, he works for a shitty boss that constantly takes advantage, and he lives in the basement of his ex’s house. He seems to be losing control of his life as he loses his job and his ex her new boyfriend has asked him to move out. It is when he is at his lowest that the mystical force of Phoebe comes to give his life purpose again.

The biggest issue with this movie is this relationship. Through what I would call magic, Phoebe seems to sense that Damon needs her and comes to his rescue. When they meet, it is late at night and alone at the beach while Damon combs the beach with a metal detector. Phoebe has no issue approaching this strange man and gives him the hope he needed when he was the most down. Now the rest of the movie is about the change that she brings to his life as she helps Damon with his goal to go to mars. There is a contest to go to mars, but that isn’t incredibly important.

Now Phoebe is a modern-day manic pixie. She is quirky, bubbly, free spirited and the opposite of what Damon is. But she is also exactly what he needs. This makes the film seem more like a fantasy that Damon has made up because it doesn’t necessarily make sense. Fate keeps them constantly bumping into each other and she seems to always know what to say to make Damon feel better. Like I said, it isn’t the best story, but they are able to tell it well considering their small budget.

But this film does keep the same quirky tone throughout, which I thought works for this movie. It doesn’t get annoying and I honestly had a lot of fun watching it. What I thought it did well was the date scene. It is a carnival montage, but instead of having it set to the tune of a pop song, it is a conversation between the two. It works incredibly well here because as they date progresses and they get closer; you can also hear it in the conversation. A conversation that adds depth to both of their characters by not only providing back story, but also insight into who they are as people. Albeit not the most original back story, but it works well enough to make the characters a bit more memorable.

Now this isn’t going to be the best movie experience you will have this year, but it does its job to entertain. You will need to suspend your disbelief on parts of the movie and it does feel like a fantasy of a man going through his midlife crisis, but it’s a fun movie to watch. Maybe one you don’t have to pay too much attention to. It is impressive what they can achieve with such a small budget and it should merit a watch just on that alone. I would be curious to see what else the film makers can do with a bigger budget and I will be looking out for what else they are able to come up with.