Tag Archives: youtube movie reviews

YouTube Movie Reviews: Valentine: The Dark Avenger (2017)

Here we have a low-budget action movie that isn’t worth your time, even for free. The acting is terrible, the action scenes are boring, and the plot doesn’t make sense. I can excuse the lack of plot and poor acting in action movies when the action is fun to watch, but it’s impossible here. The main character doesn’t know how to fight. The fight scenes are shot with multiple cuts and a shacky camera to hide this fact. There is an unfunny scene in this movie where they are looking through possible candidates for the role of Violet. They make a big deal about throwing out all the ugly ones even though they know how to fight. I take issue with this because why does it matter if they are ugly if the goal is to fight crime? I wish they would hire action stars based on ability rather than looks because the action would be fun to watch. But then it wouldn’t be marketable.

The movie takes place in a city plagued with crime. A man with a tragic past recruits a woman to be the hero the city needs. The movie would have ended a lot sooner if anyone had a gun. Instead, you get overacted long chase scenes, boring fight scenes, and useless exposition dumps. And when the twist comes, because there has to be a twist, it was obvious and unimpressive. I can’t recommend this movie, even if it is free. Spend your time and energy on better things.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Last Knights (2015)

Here is a fantasy movie that doesn’t require much commitment. Last Knights is a last-stand movie like “Rogue One” where the heroes go on this suicide mission to restore Morgan Freeman’s honor. It is set in a fantasy setting, but do not let the fact that it is fantasy scare you. You do not need to learn a new language or memorize the different conflicting factions. It is a self-contained and simple movie that is easy to follow and even easier to get into.

I have to emphasize the simplicity of this movie. There is no expansive world-building; the story takes place in such a small space that it doesn’t matter if you remember the names of the kingdom or houses involved. There is no character development because everyone is a stoic and heroic martyr that follows the knight’s code. The knight’s code is a fancy way of saying undying loyalty to the house they serve. They do separate the characters into categories which is nice. You have the big ones, the small ones, and the main one. You also know how this movie will end because it is pretty generic.

That said, it is not a bad movie. The acting is solid. The sets and costumes are pretty enough. I had fun watching it, but I understand that it is not for everyone. The movie focuses a lot more on political affairs; there is a lot of talking. The action that does occur is heavily edited, but not terrible. The film does tell a story, as simple as it is, and it builds enough suspense to be engaging. If you are looking for an action-packed fantasy movie, this might have too much dialogue in it to be worth your time. If you are looking for a movie you can throw on while you cook or fold laundry, this is a fine choice. It doesn’t require too much commitment to watch and it is free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

I found myself enjoying this movie up until the end. The acting is what makes this movie work so well. John Goodman’s character is amazing! His character is what gives the movie most of its suspense. I will commend the film’s ability to effectively tell a solid narrative through the interactions between three people. They create a whole world within a small bunker and I am here for it. I recommend this movie to see John Goodman.

My issue with this movie is with the ending. This movie is a part of a larger Cloverfield Cinematic Universe (CCU), but I don’t think it works here. The connection to the CCU seems to be an afterthought and thus lazily executed. If you ignore this connection, it is a much more compelling story about prisoners trapped in some stranger’s basement. That’s the movie you need to see, not this poorly executed alien invasion movie. Ignoring this connection is ideal, but it also creates a new issue. If you do not know anything about the CCU, the ending to this movie is disorienting and disappointing. But if you don’t ignore it, you will still be disappointing.

But don’t let the promise of disappointment dull your intrigue about this movie. If you ignore its connection to the CCU and look past the ending, you have a solid and entertaining movie you can watch for free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Superhero Movie (2008)

Superhero Movie is a parody that should not have been made. I remember not liking it when it first came out, but not much else. It has not aged well since. This movie relies heavily on farting. This movie fills its dead air with fart jokes because it doesn’t have enough material to fill the run time. There are more farts in this movie than actual jokes. It is clear early on that this movie was made for 8-year-olds in 2008. It doesn’t hold up.

This movie is boring. It slogs through its run time with very little humor in it. There were a few moments where I wanted to give up on this movie, but I powered through. It isn’t worth it. The few moments that got a chuckle out of me are not worth sitting through the rest of the nonsense. Watching a YouTube video with all the best scenes would be a better use of your time, but not by much.

I would skip this even if you like watching bad movies for fun because it is slow and boring. But it is free for those poor souls who don’t believe me.

Youtube Movie Reviews: Galaxy Quest (1999)

There isn’t much to say about this movie; this is a good one. Watch it! It is a Star Trek parody that ends up being the “Star Trek” movie we’ve always wanted. It is funny, it is suspenseful, it is exciting, and it has real character growth. I honestly believe that it achieves more than other more serious movies of the genre.

Keep in mind that this is a parody. Don’t expect amazing space battles, well-choreographed fight scenes, or genre-defining special effects. The movie is silly and leans heavily into its cheesy and over-the-top tone. It works well! Trust me.

Underneath all the silliness, however, is a serious message. The movie is about a group of actors that are trapped by the success of a show that is no longer running. They end up having to run through a circuit of conventions, desperately holding on to the feeling of what once was. They all share this sense of being trapped by the shadow of the show’s success, and they all desire to be a part of something greater.

And when the call does come, they answer it reluctantly, stumbling and fumbling along because they are just regular people. That’s what gives this movie its charm. No one knows what they are doing but they slowly fall into their role, growing ass they accept their responsibility. You come to this movie for its silliness, but you stay because you love how it plays out. It tells an engaging story for what it is.

You can watch it free on Youtube, PlutoTv and IMDBtv. It is also included with your prime subscription.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Jingle All the Way (1996)

It is that time of year! Christmas is in all the shop windows; everyone is busy buying last-minute gifts. It is important to sit back and enjoy small moments of respite with a Christmas movie. There are so many to choose from, but this one happens to be free on YouTube. Holidays are expensive; you can’t go wrong with free!

I consider this film a classic. Now while it may not be in the same vein as “A Wonderful Life” or “A Christmas Story”; it is an important movie in the genre. You have Arnold Schwarzenegger being as charming as he can be. You have Sinbad in his prime. It has deception, conflict, betrayal, and redemption. All markers of a great adventure. While the story borders on fantasy; it is an enjoyable story for the whole family. I will say that there are jokes in this movie that do not age well, but that doesn’t ruin the experience.

If you haven’t seen it, check it out. If you have, it’s free. I will always include this movie in my Christmas movie marathon.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Spaceballs (1987)

This is a great parody that I believe everyone should experience at least once. It is what parodies should strive to achieve. It is funny, clever, and timeless. If you are a Star Wars fan, this is a must-watch. If you are not, it is not a problem. The movie doesn’t require you to know anything about the Star Wars movie for it to be enjoyable, but it helps.

I will say that this movie can be alienating if you are younger or from outside of the US. This movie makes a lot of references to American pop culture from the time it was released. Some of these don’t age well and others won’t make sense unless you are familiar with American Pop culture. Because of this, I don’t think it is for everyone. I do think it is a movie people should check out, just keep in mind that some aspects of this movie might not make sense. You can do a lot worse for free.

Youtube Reviews: The Promotion

It’s hard to write about this movie because it was so bland. This is a movie about the mundane nature of working at a super market. The humor comes from the extraordinary antics that come from the two main characters competing for the same promotion. It is a bit like Napoleon Dynamite in that nothing really happens, but it isn’t as good. I am sure if you like slow and awkward humor, you won’t mind this movie. Otherwise, you probably will lose interest towards the middle.

I do like that it makes a jab at retail corporate culture. The two main characters are stuck in dead end jobs and the promise of advancement is enough to make them go crazy. John C. Reilly puts it best at the end when he says “we’re all just out here tryn’ to get some food. Sometimes we bump into each other”. That is what this movie is a bout, two guys trying to put food on the table and survive working a job that doesn’t care about them or pays them enough. It is a commentary on low wage jobs, essential workers, and the people who exploit them. Is it effective in its message? I think so. Is it for everyone? No, most people looking for an entertaining movie will probably not like the pacing in this movie. I enjoyed it enough, but it doesn’t stand out in my mind and I probably won’t watch it again.