Before I start, I’d like to give a special shoutout to Impromtdude for buying me coffee. I really appreciate you my dude. It means a lot to have your support. I’ll do my best to keep making better content, and I will be sure to review the Fallout series when it’s out! Now without any further ado, my review:
I am glad I did not see Bullet Train in theaters. I really wanted to watch this movie when it came out, but thankfully I never got around to it. Bullet Train isn’t a bad movie, but it isn’t worth the theater ticket. If you can stream it or rent it, those are the ideal circumstances in which to watch this movie. Bullet Train is a beautiful and interesting concept that ultimately falls flat because the story isn’t good.
Fate has gathered Ladybug and a group of hungry assassins on a bullet train to Kioto. Bad luck seems to follow Ladybug, and now he finds himself in the middle of a logistical nightmare. The assassins are on this train to carry out conflicting missions, turning the train into a colorful battleground. Who will make it to the end of the line? Who is behind this mixup? You have to watch to find out!
There is no question that the acting in this movie is great for the most part. There are some fun and memorable characters that do their best with what they are given. I love the aesthetics of this movie. The costumes, the colors, and the sets are fantastic. Bullet Train is such a pretty movie, but it loses me with its story. The movie is set up like a mystery of sorts, although you can probably solve it in the first few minutes. It will constantly jump between groups, and it becomes tedious quickly. Each group gets a back story, each blander than the last, and you get a bit more of the mystery to piece together. It’s this formula throughout, and I honestly stopped caring because I just wanted more action. Bullet Train has some solid action scenes, and it makes me sad that there weren’t more.
A big issue with the plot is how heavily it relies on fate to work. The constantly regurgitates the idea that fate has heavily handily brought all these events to unfold on this train. This movie literally derails itself to make every narrative fit together as destiny. They make some ridiculous rationalizations in this movie that ruin the overall tone. What could have been a cool, colorful, and fun action thriller turns into a boring cartoon. It is a shame because there are a few moments that work well. This movie had potential, and it was wasted. Maybe they shouldn’t have spent so much money on cameos and instead focused on making a better movie.
If you want something to watch that isn’t a huge commitment, this is a solid choice. You can throw this on, do your chores or work and pay attention only to the cool bits. If you are looking for a cool action movie, there are better options for you. I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch this, but you won’t hate it if you do.
Now as a shameless plug, let me tell you about my new partnership with Canva. Canva is an online photo and video editing tool that is easy to use. I have been using Canva since before my partnership, and I would have recommended it regardless. It is free to use, but there is a subscription service that unlocks additional features. I use the free version and find it is perfect for my needs. If you aren’t very creative, Canva has a vast selection of templates to help you create your next poster, logo, banner, and more. Go check out Canva today!