Movie Review: Ghosted (2023)

I just watch Ghosted, but I wish I didn’t. This has to be one of the laziest and most boring action films I have seen, and I have sat through some terrible movies. This movie is so boring that Anna Del Armas slept through her whole performance. This movie is so boring that the best part is when they played My Sharona, even though the action scene it belongs to is terrible. For those few who were thinking of watching this movie, don’t. It is a huge waste of time.

A farmer meets a girl at a farmers market and falls madly in love with her after one date. She ghosts him. Instead of taking the hint and moving on, the farmer tracks her down without her knowledge to attempt a big romantic gesture. Instead of finding romance, the farmer finds himself in the middle of a covert CIA operation. It turns out that the love is life is a secret agent. Will he be able to find love between the rain of bullets and lies?

Ghosted starts off as one of the most awkward romcoms but quickly turns into an incredibly generic action movie. This movie doesn’t work. There is absolutely no chemistry between the leads, which was essential for this movie’s success. I blame the lack of chemistry and mediocre acting on the terrible writing. The writing for this movie is lazy. You can guess down to specific lines what will happen next. At least they had they lacked the nerve to sequel bait because that would have thrown me over a ledge.

As an action movie, it doesn’t work because the action is boring. I preferred the romcom bits of the plot because at least sometimes it would be funny. For this movie to work, it needed a tangible villain and real stakes, anything to make it less goofy.

The worst part of this movie was the couple. They meet after a very awkward and obnoxious fight and somehow still end up going on a date The guy, who everyone agrees is obsessive, uses a tracking device that only he knows about to track the romantic interest. The movie tries to play it like the male lead is quirky, but it is creepy. It doesn’t make sense when in the end they are in love because there is no reason for them to be.

I knew Ghosted was going to be bad when I saw how hard Apple was pushing it up to its release. They even shamelessly collected name-brand actors for seconds of cameos to trick people into watching this garbage. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen all the good parts. It even shows you bits of the climax. I avoided using names in this review because the characters are so generic that the names don’t matter. You can watch this movie on Apple TV, but I wouldn’t waste my time. Go watch Killers instead. That movie does this plot a lot better.

Image By Apple Studios – IMP Awards, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=72902947