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Movie Reviews

Next Gen (2018) Review

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Next Gen is a poor man’s Big Hero 6, and given the choice, you should probably go watch that instead. This more poorly written knock off is a Netflix original that you probably won’t miss if you don’t watch it. This movie attempts to be an edgier version of Big Hero 6 through its plot, design and music, it fails to entertain. It doesn’t push the envelope hard enough and has more holes in its plot to make it work. Granted I might not be the target audience, but you can still make a movie geared for kids that is still entertaining to other groups.

This is a movie about a trouble teen, Mai, who lives in a world where robots are a part of everyday life. The problem is that she hates robots. The movie suggest that her dislike of robots is due to her distant mother’s obsession with robots. The movie will suggest a lot to give the illusion of plot and character development. As these movies go, she is also troubled by a past you get in small bits of dialogue and flash backs. Because her father left at a young age for whatever reason, she is now unable to trust anyone and therefore forces herself to be alone. Her sad past is what makes her destined to be this movie’s hero. And as this movie’s hero, nothing bad will happen to her.

This is one of those movies where things happen because shitty writing. That is to say that they will make shit up to write themselves out of all the plot holes and it isn’t subtle. For example, her encounter with the robot of the movie, Project 77, as so credulous. She is able to sneak past all of these security robots which makes me believe that robots in this universe are useless if they can’t stop a single little girl from sneaking into a secret lab. Even more troubling is the lack of consequences in the movie. Just reaching Project 77 she causes enough property damage where she should have at least been fined, but of course nothing ever comes of it. Maybe they forgave her because they knew she was destined to save the world.

Then you get the weirdest abusive relationship in cartoon history. Project 77 imprints on Mai and the rest of the movie is Project 77 trying to break through Mai’s hardened character. The issue is that Mai only keeps him around to hurt the ones who hurt her. This is one of those movies where the character has to have the saddest life so everything is wrong with her. Now project 77’s quirk is that he only has a limited amount of memory and he must erase certain memories to keep making new ones. And you never really care because Mai isn’t a nice person. You can argue that her past, the one that was poorly written for her, made her act this way, but I didn’t feel bad for her. I didn’t want to follow her around. She was extremely generic, as characters of this genre often are, and the relationship between Mai and 77 wasn’t captivating like that of the Iron Giant or Big Hero 6.

The other big issue with this movie is the plot. The villain of the movie is ridiculous. His plan to take over the world is to mass produce these robots that he gives to everyone. He plants bombs in these and his plan is to activate them to blow up and destroy humanity. The problem is that these explosions do so little damage that by the end of it you wonder if it was even necessary for Mai and 77 to get involved. Like I have mentioned before, this movie has no consequences and therefore, you will never really care for this movie.

This movie is bland. Netflix seems to be pumping out movies for the sake of pumping them out. These knock offs are not content and instead we get our feed bombarded with crap they keep labeling as original. I wish that instead they would spend more time between releases, so they can make watchable content. They have the ability, I have seen some Netflix content that I didn’t mind but lately it just seems like they are churning cheap rip offs of shows and movies that were successful. The problem with this is you get content with very little substance that panders and it is getting harder and harder to justify paying for the subscription when good content is diluted with this crap. Skip this so they don’t keep making crap like this.

 

Movie Reviews

The Greatest Showman (2017) Review

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Recently re-watching The Greatest Showman I can say that this is one of those movies that you can only see once. The first time watching it, I was mesmerized by all the pageantry, the singing, although the plot still leaves me unimpressed. The plot follows a young boy who grows up poor that falls in love with a girl who is a different social class. Because of his own status, it makes this love one that is frowned upon and now Hugh Jackman makes it his life’s goal to become a man that is worthy of his love’s affection. To do this, Hugh Jackman’s character gathers a group of “misfits” and creates a show of oddities. A circus if you will. But, as he becomes more successful and is no longer poor, he is never fully accepted by high society. This need for acceptance becomes an obsession for Hugh Jackman’s character and we get to watch as his motives are no longer to earn the affection of the woman he loves, which he has from the beginning of the movie, but rather to gain acceptance in a society that he doesn’t really want to be a part of. Because of his obsession, he ends up forgetting why he started the show in the first place and hurts the only people that had faith in him.

As plots go, you aren’t watching this movie for the plot. You are watching it for the singing, so I will excuse all the holes and some of the bad dialogue in this film. And as far as the singing goes, I have seen way worse musicals. The issue is that on second viewing, this movie lost all its charm and I was bored with it. Maybe it was watching it on a smaller screen with weaker speakers, but it didn’t hold the magic that I remembered it having when I watched it first.

I wish that they had gone a little more over the top in this film and not try to be as serious. I wish that they didn’t use so much CGI in this film. And I wish that Hugh Jackman’s character wasn’t such a dick. I get it, the premise was clear, but I didn’t spend enough time with his character to forgive him being a dick when he turns into one. My biggest issue is how quickly all of the drama in the this film is solved. Again, I can excuse this because of the genre of the film but it doesn’t change the fact that this is one of those movies that you can only view once or twice. I don’t see this movie having a long shelf life like other films of the genre because the story and the songs aren’t extremely memorable. Maybe I am not the target audience, maybe I don’t know enough music to fully appreciate it but I couldn’t get into it the second time around.

If you haven’t seen it, I recommend watching it. It’s a good sit the first time around. If you have already seen it, you should know where you stand. Check it out.

 

Movie Reviews

Murder Party (2007) Review

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Murder Party is the film you’ve never heard of that should have stayed a play. The movie starts off with a man finding a mysterious invitation to the murder party. It name drops within the first five minutes of the film. The man decides to go to the party without knowing anything about it. There a lot of obvious warning signs that the man shouldn’t go to this party, the biggest being that it is being held in the outskirts of town. There is a moment when he runs through the empty creepy streets to some abandoned warehouse. Little does he know that the party was a plot by the most pretentious art students to commit a murder. It is when he gets to the party that the shenanigans begin as he is going to be the victim of this murder party. But, luckily for him, the killers are idiots and are picked off one by one by terrifying slap stick. Now you get to watch as the group unravels as they fail to go through with the murder.

This film feels like a community theater play. Not a terrible one, but one that shouldn’t have been put to video. A lot of the acting, dialogue, the scenery all belong on stage. The acting is over the top, and while I have seen places where it works, it gets annoying real fast in this film. I get that the over the top acting fits the tone of the movie, but it makes the already unlikable characters less likable. The characters in this movie are archetypes of eccentric art students, each one representing a unique quirk. The problem is that none of the characters are likable and spend most of the time arguing. The movie gets hard to sit through when you don’t care about the characters. Most of the dialogue is frivolous bickering and don’t really add anything to the plot. And this movie forgets it’s plot for the sake of this bickering and of course the slap stick.

The worst part is the slap stick. This movie has to invent silly ways for the characters to die so the innocent man can escape. It is because of their incompetence that they all meet their ends. One characters dies form catching fire after dousing himself with alcohol when he was drinking. None of these characters posses the ability to function in normal society.

This movie also makes a statement about the art community, I think? All the people who are in this mysterious warehouse are pretentious art students working on their art. They will argue amongst themselves constantly about their art and will talk about a huge project that they are working on. This whole film seems like a pretentious art project made by someone in this film. It tries way to hard to be dark, and funny, and gross that it doesn’t really tell a good story. I wouldn’t mind the acting and cheap production if the movie told a good story. Instead you get to follow a bunch of characters you don’t like being annoying. There are whole scenes where all they do is bicker. This isn’t plot.

If you like weird movies, check this out. It is something you have to see to know that it exists. I do not recommend this for the average viewer because it is way too artsy and pretentious. I’d say skip this if you are looking for something entertaining to watch. I give this a 3 out of 10. I did like a few scenes and I appreciated that it is different from all the other movies I have seen, but it is not for everyone.

Movie Reviews

Geostorm (2017) Review

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Geostorm is a generic apocalyptic movie that came a little late to the party. The concept is simple enough, after a series of storms that almost end earth, scientist get together to make a network of weather controlling satellites. This saves the earth and now the people of earth live in seeming safety as the weather is controlled by the United States. For a while, things are good. The system, named Dutch Boy, works as intended and everyone is happy until one day it malfunctions killing a small town in Afghanistan. The more people start to investigate on the issue, the more the audience realizes that someone is using Dutch Boy to take over the world. Now it’s up to Gerard Butler tries to save the world from the very thing he created.

This movie is a waste of time. It tries desperately to be bigger than it actually is by making claims about the corruption of government, the dangers of playing god, and the dangers of technology to name a few. The issue isn’t that it makes these claims, but rather that it does so poorly. These topics alone are too big for this movie and as a result, the movie will spend little time making these arguments. In fact, it will flat out tell you these arguments in the form of poorly written dialog and it slows the movie down a lot. Had it focused on one theme and developed it a little more, maybe the movie could hold up better.

Another issue that I had with the movie is the acting. People in this movie seem to be sleep walking for their pay check. Other suffer from playing poorly written characters. It’s hard to bash on the acting of this movie when the script isn’t any good. None of the characters were memorable and worst off are the characters that were written in for the sake of cameo.

The biggest flaw of this movie is it’s lack of focus. There are so many plot lines for a movie this short. No one cares about Gerard Butler’s daughter that it will cut back too when you forgot she was in this movie. No one cares about the love plots for the two brothers. No one cares for the main plot to take over the presidency because the movie keeps cutting between them abruptly. Because of this, you don’t really have a connection with the characters because you spend so little time with them and you know less about them by the end of the movie than you did when you started watching this film. The plot itself doesn’t make any sense because of all the holes it has. But don’t worry, it will try to fill these holes with shitty writing.

I can’t recommend this movie because it is boring. It is a movie that suffers from coming out too late. Had it come out back when this genre was popular, I can see it doing better. But even still, it isn’t a good movie. It is too similar to the other movies of the genre but not as fun. I like some movies of this genre that cheesy, but this one doesn’t do anything that held my attention. Skip this one, I give a 2 out of 10.

Movie Reviews

The Meg (2018) Review

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The Meg starts off in the same fashion as other movies in the genre. It sets up a sad back story for the trouble and rugged hero and it cuts to modern day where scientists are doing science. As these movies go, science goes too far and they release the Meg into the modern world and now they must not only survive the Meg, but destroy it before it causes too much damage to the world. Sprinkle in a pointless love plot, some action scenes, and some comic relief and you have this generic movie.

I do not recommend going to watch this in theaters, you have seen way better from this genre and you’d be wasting your money. Instead, I urge you to wait till it comes out on Netflix, you aren’t missing anything. That being said, it isn’t a terrible movie, it’s just not worth theater price. First off, the characters in this film don’t help the movie. If this movie is meant to be a horror film, it has too much comic relief. This movie spends more time trying to be funny that it does trying to be suspenseful or scary. This is not a bad thing because I got a few chuckles from it, but if you are looking for a serious monster movie, look elsewhere. This is one of those movies where you will not remember character names, or even whole characters. There are characters in this movie who you will forget are in this movie until it is their turn to get eaten. And when the Meg eats, it will look terrible on the big screen.

The other issue with the movie is the chemistry between the characters. They kill off the only characters with any real chemistry really early on. The rest of the cast are poorly written archetypes that are put in the move to feed the Meg. The two leads are of course in love because the plot demands it. Their scenes together are my least favorite because they lack the most chemistry. While I do believe that there may be physical attraction, I do not believe that it is the deep seeded love the movie tries to convey. This movie will stop the plot to show you the two leads in an awkward interaction and tell you that they love each other repeatedly. This for me takes away from the film because I didn’t care for this plot line and cuts the time we get to spend with the real star, the Meg.

This movie has a lot of padding. I felt like the Meg was barely in the movie, and that is the whole reason I went to watch it in the movie. I wanted to watch a monster shark eat people. Instead you get a bunch of unassay scenes such as all the love plot scenes. The little girl was probably the worst padding for the film as she had no real purpose for being in the film. Cut her character out of the film and the movie doesn’t suffer from any drastic change. Instead she is there to provide comic relief and be cute in order to pander. Like most characters in this movie, she becomes a gimmick that doesn’t really work with the tone of the movie. She was in it to be cute and that was it. But by far my biggest complaint is that the Meg doesn’t kill enough people. This was the least violent monster attack I have ever seen.

This movie isn’t terrible. It is flawed but not the worst thing that has come to theaters this year. It has a certain charm to it that will be lost on a second viewing, but you won’t be completely bored with it. This is one of those movies you can only watch once and you will probably forget you watched it later. I do not recommend paying            theater price. Wait till it gets on Netflix. I give this movie a 5 out of 10.

Movie Reviews, Uncategorized

The Intern (2015) Review

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The intern is the buddy comedy starring Robert De Niro and Anne Hathaway that no one asked for. The plot is simple enough. You start out the movie with De Niro narrating how his life has become boring routine since his Retirement. We learn that this narration is part of his interview for a job as an intern at a successful online retail company. This is immediately contrasted against Anne Hathaway’s character who is a fast-paced business woman in charge of an extremely successful business. The movie wants you to know that they are opposites and will be the focus of the movie. Naturally De Niro gets the job and is paired up with Hathaway’s character because she must be the example for the company. As the movie progresses, we get to see their relationship grow as Hathaway learns to slow down and soften up thanks to the persistence and good nature of Robert De Niro. It’s a basic plot so there isn’t too much to say on it.

The film starts off quirky. The character interactions, the music, the scenes. Unfortunately, it loses this quirk 20 minutes in after all the introductions are settled. It gets dull. A lot of the plot is contrived and forced just for the sake of having plot points. De Niro’s love interests, his friendships, the whole reason that he end’s up at the company in the first place is a reach. After you get past the quirky intro, it turns into a generic story that you will forget instantly. Granted, I might not be the target audience so that might contribute why this story wasn’t compelling, but it’s just too simple for my taste.

The acting in this movie is good. The chemistry between the two characters, and even the rest of the cast was great. I believed De Niro and Hathaway’s relationship. I thought it was cute, but the acting and the chemistry can’t save the boring narrative you have to sit through. I don’t have too much to say about this movie because it was just generic. I don’t see this movie lasting too long because it will be dated soon. A lot of the quirks get old fast and they will repeat the same joke too many times. I lost interest early on because it becomes a gimmick almost. It is jokes about De Niro adjusting to the tech world and jokes about Hathaway learning to slow down and enjoy her life. It is too easy.

It’s not a terrible film, it has good moments. The acting is great. The production is good. It just wasn’t made for me. It is story no one asked for and we really don’t need but it was done well enough. I rate a 4 out of 10, while I didn’t like the film personally, it’s not a harmful flick and it isn’t a terrible time. For the right audience, it’ll be a great sit.

Movie Reviews

Slender Man (2018) Review

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If you are here because you loved the game or even have the slightest idea that the game exists, look elsewhere because this isn’t that. Instead we start off in a quiet boring town where we are introduced to our protagonist, four inseparable high school girls. We cut to them being teens, flirting with boys you’ll never see again, and we learn that they are all bland even though the movie tries to tell you otherwise. This movie spends more time telling you the plot than actually showing you.

As these movies go, they summon Slender Man thinking it is some kind of game. Too bad it’s not and shit gets real and as these movies go, we get to watch as Slender Man widdles away at the group until there is only one.

                Don’t expect great acting in this movie, all the actors are young and they do their best. As far as characters go, I didn’t particularly care for any of them. They also didn’t have any good chemistry. I didn’t believe that they were best friends or that they cared for each other. It just felt like they had to be together because they had to. All their scenes together feel forced and I was honestly was wishing they would end because they don’t add anything to the film. And the plot doesn’t help the movie either. You’ve seen this movie before and probably done better elsewhere.

                I did like that this movie tried new things. There are scenes that are really well done and are creepy and not because you anticipate a jump scare, but because of how everything is set up. I liked some of the dream sequences, but the movie goes a little overboard with them. There are some good bits with Slender Man as well but eventually he because more cartoony than creepy. Only two scenes really stand out, but not enough to recommend the film.

                It isn’t a fun movie to watch aside from a couple of scenes, but they are not worth paying theater price to enjoy. Maybe with better actors and a bigger budget it would be ok, but this one is a disappointment. I rate this a 3 out of 10 because I did like some of the weirder parts, but normal theater goers won’t enjoy it as much. Skip it.

 

Movie Reviews

The Package (2018) Review

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The Package is a raunchy buddy comedy that comes to us from our good friends at Netflix. As far as plots go, this movie doesn’t have one. The premise is simple enough, a group of friends go into woods for a camping trip and one of them cuts off his dick. The rest of the movie involves shenanigans as they the group of friends try to reunite the penis with its owner.

If you are looking for a movie that is engaging and with a narrative, look elsewhere. This movie feels like a series of improvised skits edited together. They do not feel natural and almost seem improvised. The dialogue is iffy in this film. Sometimes you will get decent banter, but most of the time it was unnatural, forced, and awkward, almost as if there was no script. At least not a good one.

As a comedy, it doesn’t always work. The jokes are easy and a lot of the time I knew the punch line to the joke before it was even set up. The movie spends more time trying to gross you out and make you uncomfortable that I at least lost interest a lot of the time. You will see a lot of penis. That being said, I had a couple laughs out of this, so it isn’t a terrible comedy, I just wouldn’t recommend watching this sober.

Because of the genre, every scene must involve the group and shenanigans. This becomes forced as they just move from one mishap to the next. There is no plot, there is no story, just a bunch of slap stick. There also is no character development. There is no growth and all the characters end up where they started in the movie, but this time with girlfriends. I can’t tell you a single name from memory because they were so generic and bland.

Overall, I wouldn’t recommend this movie. Although not terrible, it is one of those movies you will forget you watched. Even if you do watch it and enjoy it the first time through, the film loses the little charm it has the second time around. As far as Netflix releases go, this is not the worst one by any means. But it does feel like a Netflix film. Cheap, easy, and forgettable. At least this one wasn’t offensive.

Final score, I give this a 4 out of 10. It wasn’t bad to sit through, but I wouldn’t watch it again.

Movie Reviews

Extinction (2018) Review

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Synopsis:

Extinction is another postapocalyptic film coming to us from Netflix. It seems this seems to be a recurring theme as a lot of the movies that are coming out have to deal with the end of the world. This one follows a family who must survive the world being destroyed by aliens? The film starts with a dream sequence and pretentious monologue. It sets the tone in the first five minutes, and it seems the tone is a pretentious one. We are introduced to the main character, Peter, who is a overworked father who is never there. The film attempts to show a dysfunctional family as the main issue seems that the father is never home. Aside from the disfunction we learn that Peter has also been having recurring nightmares about the world ending, nightmares that the film will continuously cut to throughout the first half of the movie. It is not until Peter attempts to make amends for being absent that the aliens decide to attack the earth. But of course, because of the skills he has from being a mechanic of sorts is able to escape the initial attack and starts to make his way to safety. And you can pretty much guess where the rest of the film goes as they try to make their way through the city without being spotted by the aliens.

 

Review

                Although a interesting premise, and by no means a dull movie, it’s not great. What hurts this movie the most is the miscasting, I can’t say I was impressed by any performance in this film. Michael Pena wasn’t very believable, and his serious role was played rather bland. The same could be said about Lizzy Caplan’s performance. I’ll give the kids a pass for their performance because they are children, but it did remove a lot of the drama and suspense when the kids had to act scared or sad. As a suspenseful movie, it doesn’t work. The budget was low, so I suspected there were going to be terrible effects, but they are not as bad as the effects the Escape Plan 2 so there is that.

                I really wouldn’t recommend this movie because it is not that good. It has some cool action scenes, but it is really boring. The only redeeming factor I could say would be the twist in the movie that makes the other wise confusing movie make sense, but that alone isn’t enough to watch the movie. Well not if you are an average movie goer. It does take some interesting liberties in playing with how narrative is told and perspective, but that’s saying little when the narrative is boring. In the end, I’d have to give this film a 4/10. It won’t be a terrible time, but it’s defiantly nothing I would recommend.

Movie Reviews

Signal (2014) Review

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               We start the film introduced with the main character Nic. For reasons that aren’t really explained in the movie, Nic cannot walk without the help of crutches. Nic is buying coffee for his friends who are in a road trip. Being the decent guy that he is, Nic stops to help a young boy who is struggling with the claw machine. He shows the boy how to win his prize by drawing the solution on the glass and giving the boy more money. This scene is used to get the audience to sympathize with Nic since he is a good person and also to show that he is really smart. To reinforce the fact that he is smart we learn that not only does Nic go to MIT, but he is a hacker as well. We are then introduced to his friend Jonah, who is also a hacker, and his girlfriend Haley who are on a road trip to California to help Haley move to her new school.

                Nic and Jonah are being taunted by some mysterious hacker who taunts the pair to go find him. And if obvious trap isn’t obvious, you haven’t been paying attention. The two find the location of the hacker and despite all the warnings that it is a bad idea, they go find this mysterious hacker because the plot says so. They find the location is at an abandoned house and as they search the building, something happens. Nic wakes up in a sterile research facility with no recollection of how he got there. We are introduced to Damon who is in charge of interrogating Nic to try to find out what is going on. We learn that aliens have made contact but nothing else is known. The rest of the movie involves Nic trying to reunite with his friend and girlfriend and trying to escape.

                This movie is a weird one. It tries incredibly hard to be deep by constantly going back to simple motifs that only really serve to flesh out Nic as a character. For example, he constantly has to write out his problems in order to find logical solutions. It doesn’t take long to figure out twist so the rest of the movie you are just waiting for the big reveal. At least I wasn’t surprised by what happened. The movie, if anything, is really pretty. The scenes all set up so nicely. The sterile facility, the desert, every scene was just so well shot that it is worth watching just to see the different sets.

                This film definitely isn’t for everyone, so if you are an average movie goer that likes big name block busters, search elsewhere. Nor is it different or unique enough where I can recommend it to people who like weird films, although I can see this having a small cult following. If you have absolutely nothing else to watch or are in the mood for some weird suspenseful sci-fi, give Signal a chance. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because although I liked it, it is not for everyone and it’s one of those movies you can only watch so many times.