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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: The Watch (2012)

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“The Watch” is one of those movies that is more about the actors than the plot. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it helps to be a fan of the main actors. As far as buddy comedies go, this one is fine. The chemistry between the actors is infectious, and there are some funny bits. Each of the actors plays to his strengths and they create some delightful characters. The problem with this film is that it doesn’t have much replay value. Essentially, this is a collection of funny moments woven together by an alien invasion plot.

I enjoyed this movie the first time. I cannot deny that it has a certain charm about it. Unfortunately, that charm wears off on the second viewing. Once you know all the jokes and have seen all the bits, you are just waiting around for meaningless plot development to get settled. It isn’t bad for what it is. God knows I have seen a lot worse, but you won’t remember watching this movie. Instead, you will remember specific bits and moments you think are funny.

I do not think this movie is worth paying any money to see, it is not entertaining enough to be worth any money, but as a free movie, you can do a lot worse. It is free on Amazon through IMDB, but I recommend you watch it elsewhere without ads because the ads do affect the viewing experience. If you do have to pay for it, I recommend watching “a best of” on YouTube instead.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews – Cyrano (2021)

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I have never been a huge fan of musicals. This form of storytelling never resonated with me. I will watch them if I have to, but I never actively search for them. Cyrano is the first movie in recent memory that has challenged this view. This movie has dug a special place in my heart; I can’t recommend it enough. The cast is amazing, the music is great, and the choreography is pretty cool. I am saying this with little knowledge of the source material or even much experience in musicals so take my recommendation as you will.

The filmmakers use the setting and the music in a way to properly tell a tragic story that will keep the audience engaged till the very end. The charisma Peter Dinklage brings to the table is intoxicating. The charisma between the characters is palpable. If you are not in tears in love with these characters by the end of this movie, we didn’t watch the same thing.

I suggest you watch this in theaters. The music in this movie is amazing, but you need a proper sound system to experience it as is intended. It is in theaters in February. Go check it out!

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Never Been Kissed (1999)

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This movie is free on YouTube. The quality is a bit questionable, I am not sure if it is an official copy, but it it isn’t terrible.

I want to say that I love this movie. Drew Barrymore is amazing and she proves why in this movie. A bit of warning, this movie can be hard to watch because of its cringy and awkward moments but I believe that is the charm.

My favorite part about this movie is the main character, Josie. She is awkward and quirky in a way that isn’t annoying. I love how she is constantly correcting people’s grammar. I also love that the focus isn’t on her finding true love but her journey of personal growth. The movie does a great job at telling her story effectively through a series of flashbacks interwoven with her re-experience of high school.

The awkward tone is a huge part of this movie. It is part of the charm this movie holds for me but I understand that it isn’t for everyone. Some parts are difficult to watch because of how cringy she plays it. If you don’t like Barrymore’s awkward and bumbling characters, then you won’t like this movie.

That said, it is free on YouTube. Check it out if you haven’t. Check it out if you have. Let me know what you think!

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Arthur and Merlin (2015)

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This movie is boring, don’t watch it. The acting is bad, the pacing is terrible, and the plot is generic and predictable.

What kills this movie for me is the pacing. It is slow; nothing ever happens. The only reason this movie is two hours long is that everyone talks so slowly. I don’t mind slow-paced movies when they are fun and interesting; this is neither.

There is no world-building. I can’t tell you where the story is set or what is going on because the storytelling is bad. I will forgive a lack of world-building if the action and the characters were interesting, but this isn’t the case here. Arthur is a generic noble action hero. Merlin is a weird cringy character. I think they wanted to make Merlin the comic relief, but none of his jokes are funny. The rest of the characters are forgettable. Even the villain fails to hold any weight in the narrative he is controlling. It is difficult to care about this movie when nobody on screen is interesting or unique.

The plot fairs even worse. Arthur and Merlin are on a journey to stop the evil wizard from summoning the ultimate evil. They blow through easy encounters and tell terrible jokes along the way. There is no urgency, despite the timer counting down. Nothing happens in this movie.

There is too much wrong with this movie for it to be worth your time. The fights are boring, the magic is inconsistent, and the pacing is horrible. Don’t watch this movie! Even if it is free, your time is better served elsewhere.

If you don’t believe me, you can watch it free on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
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TV Series Reviews: Panic (2021)

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Panic is a show on Amazon that promises a deadly fear factor drama about teens in a small town in Texas. It fails to deliver anything entertaining; I urge you to ignore its existence. The show follows a very dull protagonist who joins a game that has been a tradition in this town for a few years now. In this game, participants compete in dangerous challenges for a life-changing amount of money. Life-changing being only 50k. Challenges range from walking across high and narrow platforms to stealing from drug dealers. On paper, this show seems like a fun show full of suspense and danger. In execution, however, you get a generic and safe teen drama.

I never got the sense of any danger in any of the challenges. You know early on that the protagonist will win Panic, thus the sense of danger doesn’t exist. This poorly written show is predictable. From its plot points to its twists, there are no surprises. The worst of this show is the whiny and boring protagonist you are stuck with. Granted, the acting in this show isn’t great, but somehow hers is the worst. She has no emotion or personality. I already forgot everything about her character.

For a show like this to work, you need drama, suspense, and a sense of danger. Instead of any of that, you get shameless fan service at the cost of plot development. Or you get boring teen drama nonsense that I never signed up for. Maybe I am not the target audience, but I gave this show an honest try. It never gets any good. I got halfway through the series, and I was still waiting for any sense of danger or intrigue. I am so mad this show has the gull to sequel bait. I’m sure season two will be even more disappointing.

This show is poorly acted, poorly written, and poorly executed. Not to mention that the plot holes are hard to ignore. Do not watch this; it is a waste of your time. Maybe the book is better.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: My Boss’s Daughter (2007)

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There isn’t much to say about this movie, I was very unimpressed. Maybe the movie was funny when it came out, but it isn’t funny today. A lot of the humor in this movie relies on gross-out or body humor. There is no plot to this movie. At least not one that makes sense. The characters are running jokes and therefore forgotten. Each character might have a funny moment, but mostly they are just bland characters that exist to force the plot along.

Saying that this movie has a plot is a bit of a reach. Instead, this movie moves from gag to gag hoping that one of the jokes lands. Some of them do, but not enough to make this film a worthwhile experience. The unfunny jokes, the cringe-worthy scenes, and the shameless fan service make this movie feel longer than it is.

Don’t waste your time with this movie; it is boring. For those of you who don’t believe me, it’s free on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Arkansas (2020)

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Arkansas is a movie about drug dealers that focuses on the revolving nature of the industry. It isn’t your typical high octane violent movie of an individual rising in the ranks and taking over the city; instead, the focus of this movie is on the rise and fall of drug bosses. It deals a lot with how volatile respect and power is. The power and respect a person earns in his lifetime can disappear in a blink of an eye.

This movie is a tragedy. It is about these tragic heroes who are stuck in this endless struggle of trying to make a living, but it can never be enough. The struggle is framed like a curse rather than this exciting epic rise to dominance. There is no permanence in life.

You need to watch this movie. Liam Hemsworth and Clark Duke play off each other so well. Clark Duke shows how much of a master he is at telling a compelling and interesting story. The pacing is great, the action is enough, and the story is one of my favorites. I am enamored with this movie and impressed with what they were able to do with their budget. This movie proves that you do not need a crazy budget to tell a good story. If you have Amazon Prime, it is included with your subscription. Go watch this now!

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Chronicle (2012)

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If you are a fan of found footage movies, you will probably like Chronicle. The pacing is decent, and the idea is unique enough to keep things interesting. The biggest problem with this movie is the format. The camera work is shaky, but it won’t make you sick. There are random clips woven in that only pad the film but do little for the overall narrative. That is expected with movies of this genre.

Chronicle is a collection of video clips by a troubled teen and his friends who one day become telekinetic. It is a story about a troubled kid who wants to fit in as he deals with bullying and an abusive home. I believe it tells the story well. It does a good job of showing Andrew’s slow descent from humanity as he is consumed with rage.

This movie isn’t for everyone. The format is hard to overlook. If you do not like found footage movies, this movie won’t change your mind. There are clips in this film where the kids are obnoxious and annoying. Other clips slow down the pacing of this movie, but that is the norm for the genre. If you have nothing else to watch, this is a decent movie. You can do a lot worse for free. It’s not going to go on any lists, but it’s not a complete waste of 2 hours. Check it out on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Permanent (2017)

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This is a hard movie to recommend because of how niche the tone and pacing are. The pacing is slow, the characters are awkward, and the story is mundane. This is a very quiet movie about a group of awkward characters becoming comfortable with themselves. If you are a fan of Napoleon Dynamite, you will probably enjoy this movie. It has similar pacing and tone, although it is a bit tamer.

Permanent is a coming-of-age story about a young girl trying to fit in. As these movies go, she spends the whole movie figuring out where she fits in. There is a lot of emphasis on the mundane and weird aspects of life in a sleepy town somewhere in Virginia. I like the family dynamic that plays out on screen and the journey Aurelie goes on. The problem with this movie is the pacing, it can drag at points, but it is a pace fitting for the narrative.

This movie is a cute story about people overcoming their insecurities. The pacing and the subject aren’t for everyone. I recommend watching this in the background while you do chores or the like. You can do a lot worse for free. You can watch it on YouTube or Amazon with a Prime subscription.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Tank Girl (1995)

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This movie is based on a comic, but I haven’t read the comic. Instead, I will focus my review on just the movie.

I really wanted to like this movie. The movie is weird, quirky, and it has a lot of energy. But, this hyperactive and weird movie gets old very fast. Unless you love this adaptation of the character, you won’t find much worth in this movie. The plot is lazy, the world-building is almost non-existent, and there is a lot of filler.

There are parts of this movie that I liked. Some of the costumes are neat. Some of the jokes made me laugh, but there isn’t enough here to make it recommendable.

My biggest issue with this movie was the main character, at least the unwavering focus the film has on her. Tank girl is loud, quirky, and full of energy. Whatever charm she establishes in the first few minutes wears off soon after. She gets a little annoying. The main focus of this movie is to show off how quirky Tank Girl is at the cost of valuable plot development and world-building. There are a lot of scenes where she is just posing off her wacky outfit and even a changing montage when she should be doing anything to move the plot forward. At its bones, this movie is very bare.

This movie is loud and flashy but very boring. I wanted a narrative, I wanted memorable characters, and I wanted substance; but I didn’t get any of that. Instead, I got the promise of a good time. It is free on YouTube, but don’t waste your time. Maybe read the comic instead.

Watch it Here!