Tag Archives: entertainment

YouTube Movie Reviews: Just Friends

As far as Romantic Comedies go, you can’t go wrong with “Just Friends.” It is a light-hearted story about a guy trying to win over a girl he was in love with in high school. You have a charming Ryan Reynolds, a crazy Anna Faris, and one of the best ending credits scene out of any movie. I recommend this movie if you like Romantic Comedies. Heck, I even recommend this if you aren’t because it has a certain charm that I believe anyone can enjoy.

My only issue with the movie is the idea of the friend zone. The friend zone is such a gross concept because it suggests that women are prizes to be won. They aren’t, and I think this movie does a great job dealing with this issue by showing the audience that the feelings of love didn’t materialize because Ryan Reynolds won, but rather that the feelings always existed. The love interest in this movie is still a bit one-dimensional, but she is not as bad as others in the genre.

If you are looking for a movie to watch on your next date night, or just browsing for something to watch, you can’t go wrong with this. You can watch it on Netflix and it is also free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: IP Man (2008)

There is so much I like about this movie. It has very well-choreographed fight scenes accompanied by some fine camera work. This movie does a great job balancing its engaging story and its tense, nail-biting action. To top it all off, the overall message of this narrative isn’t overbearing nor preachy.

I recommend this movie to anyone. There is violence, but the story woven around it should satisfy most audiences. I suggest watching it n the original Cantonese with subtitles because I feel that a lot of the emotion and tension is lost in the dubbing.

You can watch this movie and the two that follow on YouTube for free!

Movie Reviews: Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

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Welcome to Racoon City has to be the worst movie in the series. Absolutely nothing happens in the first thirty minutes of this movie. There is no meaningful world-building, no character development, and zombies aren’t even cool. This whole experience is a giant slog towards a very cheesy and disappointing sequel bait.

Most of the run time is wasted on pointless family drama. I came to this movie to see some hot zombie action, but the zombies take a back seat to the main character’s poorly acted family issues. The zombies barely show up in this movie. When they do, they are these poorly designed abominations. What little action does exist is poorly executed and dull. I can’t stress enough how boring this movie is.

This is a generic action movie and not the origin story it claims to be. If you are a fan of the video games, prepare to stay disappointed. If you are a fan of the movie series, this is the worst one. This movie isn’t worth your time nor the $20 price tag.

Movie Reviews: Notzilla (2019)

I really want to like this movie. There are a lot of elements in this film that resonate with me. I love the cheesy over the top acting. I love some of the running gags. Some of the writing is clever and concise. I adore how creative they get with their sets and style choices. On paper, this is the perfect film for me, but I can’t recommend this to a mainstream audience.

The biggest issue I have with this movie is with its pacing. I lost interest about halfway through. It would be better as a shorter film. Some of the gags are not funny and go on for too long. At points, it gets too meta for its own good. I am not a fan of meta jokes.

Average moviegoers won’t like this film. If you are a fan of monster films, it might be salvageable but, the cheesy tone it takes is not for everyone. I feel like there are a lot of references and jokes that I missed because I haven’t seen many monster movies. That said, I do appreciate this movie for what it does. There are some creative stylistic choices in this movie that should not be overlooked. It also has some of my favorite jokes from any parody. But it is not a movie I can recommend.

If you are interested, you can check it out on Amazon if you have an active ConTV subscription.

YouTube Movie Reviews: The Ex (2006)

I take issue with this genre of movies because, at its core, it is about objectifying women. Two men will fight over the desired woman as if she were a prize until the “good” one proves victorious. There is a lot of deception, betrayal, and shenanigans along the way. If you can look past the objectification, they can be fun movies you will forget about soon after. This movie isn’t fun’ I do not recommend it.

My biggest issue with this movie is with the main character. He is rude, selfish, and self-serving. He is only the better option because the rival is irredeemably and cartoonishly evil. The main character is equally unlikable and it makes this movie difficult to get through. This whole ordeal becomes a drawn-out fight between two characters that you won’t care about.

This whole movie could have been avoided if there was a clear and honest discussion between the couple. But there isn’t, because the woman’s opinion doesn’t matter. I forgot the woman existed until she would randomly pop up to move the plot forward. The fact that she forgives the main character after the fact proves how one-dimensional of a character she is. She only exists to have the baby and be fought over. It is disgusting.

It is a shame that there is so much wasted talent in this movie. On paper, a cast like this should result in a funny movie but the funny moments are too far in between to be worth watching. The movie is slow the rest of the time. I say don’t waste your time with this. Watch “School for Scoundrels” instead. But if you insist on ignoring my caution, you can find this movie free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

I found myself enjoying this movie up until the end. The acting is what makes this movie work so well. John Goodman’s character is amazing! His character is what gives the movie most of its suspense. I will commend the film’s ability to effectively tell a solid narrative through the interactions between three people. They create a whole world within a small bunker and I am here for it. I recommend this movie to see John Goodman.

My issue with this movie is with the ending. This movie is a part of a larger Cloverfield Cinematic Universe (CCU), but I don’t think it works here. The connection to the CCU seems to be an afterthought and thus lazily executed. If you ignore this connection, it is a much more compelling story about prisoners trapped in some stranger’s basement. That’s the movie you need to see, not this poorly executed alien invasion movie. Ignoring this connection is ideal, but it also creates a new issue. If you do not know anything about the CCU, the ending to this movie is disorienting and disappointing. But if you don’t ignore it, you will still be disappointing.

But don’t let the promise of disappointment dull your intrigue about this movie. If you ignore its connection to the CCU and look past the ending, you have a solid and entertaining movie you can watch for free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Reviews: Superhero Movie (2008)

Superhero Movie is a parody that should not have been made. I remember not liking it when it first came out, but not much else. It has not aged well since. This movie relies heavily on farting. This movie fills its dead air with fart jokes because it doesn’t have enough material to fill the run time. There are more farts in this movie than actual jokes. It is clear early on that this movie was made for 8-year-olds in 2008. It doesn’t hold up.

This movie is boring. It slogs through its run time with very little humor in it. There were a few moments where I wanted to give up on this movie, but I powered through. It isn’t worth it. The few moments that got a chuckle out of me are not worth sitting through the rest of the nonsense. Watching a YouTube video with all the best scenes would be a better use of your time, but not by much.

I would skip this even if you like watching bad movies for fun because it is slow and boring. But it is free for those poor souls who don’t believe me.

Youtube Movie Reviews: Galaxy Quest (1999)

There isn’t much to say about this movie; this is a good one. Watch it! It is a Star Trek parody that ends up being the “Star Trek” movie we’ve always wanted. It is funny, it is suspenseful, it is exciting, and it has real character growth. I honestly believe that it achieves more than other more serious movies of the genre.

Keep in mind that this is a parody. Don’t expect amazing space battles, well-choreographed fight scenes, or genre-defining special effects. The movie is silly and leans heavily into its cheesy and over-the-top tone. It works well! Trust me.

Underneath all the silliness, however, is a serious message. The movie is about a group of actors that are trapped by the success of a show that is no longer running. They end up having to run through a circuit of conventions, desperately holding on to the feeling of what once was. They all share this sense of being trapped by the shadow of the show’s success, and they all desire to be a part of something greater.

And when the call does come, they answer it reluctantly, stumbling and fumbling along because they are just regular people. That’s what gives this movie its charm. No one knows what they are doing but they slowly fall into their role, growing ass they accept their responsibility. You come to this movie for its silliness, but you stay because you love how it plays out. It tells an engaging story for what it is.

You can watch it free on Youtube, PlutoTv and IMDBtv. It is also included with your prime subscription.

The Party That Saved Christmas – Part 1

It is snowing in the town of Drecshire. It creates a thin layer over freshly shoveled paths. The Conroy Taffy company building sits at the center of this busy town. Today, however, the streets are empty except for the few people who must run out to finish some errands. It is Christmas eve and the town is quiet, except of course for Conroy Taffy Company.

Inside the Conroy Taffy building, people through the halls. The phones are ringing none stop and everything is abuzz with the cacophony of frantic conversations.

On the top floor, inside a small windowless conference room sleeps a young white-feathered Aarakocra. His chair leans against the wall. His bow sits to his left and a small quiver lies to his right. He snores softly as his wings twitch occasionally but they remain snuggling his body. His worn leather armor looks dull against his plumage.

The room has bare walls except for a small black clock on the north side of the room. It ticks away quietly. Aside from the clock, there is a small rounded wooden table with the seven remaining chairs arranged neatly around it.

A small hooded figure walks into the room. A small crimsoned scaled hand carries a simple staff that reaches above the creature’s head. A red pierced tale follows suit. The Aarakocra jolts from his sleep, grabbing at his bow. The hooded figure raises his hands out in defense. “Sorry sorry, I mean no threat,” Says the hooded figure as he removes the cloak revealing a Kobold.” My name is Hox. I am here for mission. You give mission?” The Aarakrocra is stunned by the Kobold’s presence.

The Kobold is a bright crimson color. His eyes are a bright yellow. His ears are pierced and they twitch nervously as they wait for the Aarakocra to answer. On his face, odd symbols run down his cheeks almost like tears. Hox’s chest rises and falls quickly.

The Aarakocra relaxes. He puts his bow on the ground and retakes his seat. “Sorry, bud. It’s a reflex. They call me Aus. I’m here for the quest too”

“Do you know what quest is?” Hox asks, also relaxing as he takes his seat next to Aus.

Aus shakes his head as he closes his eyes and leans back against the wall. His yellow beak shines under the lights. “Not a clue”

Hox calms as he walks towards Aus. “This is strange no? We no have no information”

Aus nods “yeah but” he is cut off midsentence as the door opens once again. The two turn to the small figure at the door. A brown-skinned halfling walks in. Her raven black hair comes to just past her shoulders. She wears clothes made with the finest fabrics. Her ears are pierced with diamond earrings. A small gold necklace hangs from her neck with a tiny pendant at the end. Gold bangles hang from her arms and they jingle as they walk. She walks in with the grandeur and elegance of a noble. On her right, a rapier with a jewel-encrusted hilt bounces against her hip. On her left, nestled in her belt is a small pan flute.

She looks at the two characters who watch her curiously before saying “Good, I am not the smallest one here. My name is Euphemia Hogscallar. It is a pleasure!” She smiles as she makes her way to the two. They shake hands and introduce themselves.

“Do you have quest for us?” Hox asks. His nostrils catch a whiff of her sweet perfume. His tail wags slowly. His mouth begins to water.

“Me?” Euphemia asks curiously “I am here for the quest. I don’t know anything else. I was only told a time and place.”

“That’s odd” Aus adds. Looking at the clock on the wall. “Well I guess we keep waiting”

Not much later, the door opens one more time. This time a purple Tiefling walks in with a bewildered and startled look on her face. She has slightly darker purple ram horns that wrap around on either side of her head. She has a few piercings. Four on each ear. A small stud on the bridge of her nose. Four 4 studs go across her forehead. Her eyes are pitch black. She quickly averts her gaze away from the party.

She wears simple cotton clothes. Her shirt is sleeveless. Tribal tattoos run down both her shoulders into cloth wrappings that go from her knuckles to almost her elbow. Her shoes are worn, thin, and dirty. The number four is tattooed on the right side of her neck. “I’m” she begins softly, barely audible. “I’m he-here for the um quest.” Her voice shakes. Her eyes stare at her shoes. She rubs her right forearm nervously.

Euphemia walks up to the Tiefling. “Well, you are in the right place!” Euphemia’s voice is booming in comparison. She reaches up and grabs the Tiefling’s hand. Her hand is much smaller as it wraps around two of the fingers. She pulls the Tiefling deeper into the conference room. The Tiefling follows reluctantly.

“Well this is Aus and Hox and I,” she says letting go of the hand and turning to the Tiefling “am Euphemia. It is a pleasure to meet you! What’s your name?”

The Tiefling glows red. She averts her gaze and stares at the floor. “My…um..my name is Bel…Belyis. Nice to meet you.” Her voice is a whisper, almost inaudible.

“You’re a shy one aren’t you. Can’t say I’ve ever met a shy Tiefling before” Euphemia replies.

“Well aren’t we a strange collection of heroes. A kobold, an Aarakroca, a halfing and Tiefling. Sounds like there might be a joke in there somewhere. I can’t say I want to find out the punchline.” says Aus as he scratches his head, examining his partners.

“Trust me, as someone who tells jokes for a living. If this is a joke, it’s probably a really good one!” Euphemia says as she turns to Aus.

Before anyone could answer, the door opens. A man with dark glasses and a neatly ironed grey suit walks in. His brown skin is covered in old faded scars. He carries with him a suitcase. He pulls out a gold plane pocket watch from his pocket and checks the time. He sets down the briefcase and opens it.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice. I am sure you have a lot of questions, please save them till the end. I have a lot to go over and we don’t have a lot of time. Please take a seat” The party arranges themselves around the strange man.

“You can call me Mr. Duke. I am what you might call a middle man. I contract people with special skills, such as yourselves, to fix problems and clean up messes. You have been hand-selected because you have a particular set of skills that will prove useful to us.” He pulls out a stack of folders from the briefcase. Folders thick with documents and pictures. He throws them on the table between the party. On the front of the folders is a sticker with a phoenix and the words “The Ministry for Magical Defense”

“At 0600 we received an emergency transmission from the North Pole.” Mr. Duke pulls out a crystal ball from the case and sets it gently on the table in front of the party. He taps it twice. A dim light shines around where his finger taps the glass. The ball begins to fill with thick purple smoke.

When the ball is full, an image of a bloodied dirty halfling appears. “My name is Finmin Goldwood. My team and I were sent here on a rescue mission. Santa is in trouble. Our transport was shot down at the edge of Santa’s Village. We…” Loud banging from away stops him mid-sentence. “My team is dead. The toys are alive. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s as if..”

More banging stops him mid-sentence. There is the sound of wood cracking slightly. “We tried to make our way through the city, but it’s overrun with living toys. They hunted us down” The banging gets more violent. “There might still be people held up in the workshop. Whatever this is, whoever unleashed this evil must be stopped.” More banging. The sound of wood breaking is clear. “If you get this, I am already dead. Please hurry. Save Santa.” The ball goes black and the smoke fades to nothing.

“Communications have gone dark since. Your mission is to infiltrate Santa’s village and figure out what the hell is going on. Now, this isn’t going to be easy. You are going in blind and alone. If anything goes wrong, you are on your own.”

“Um,” Aus asks as he raises his hand “what exactly are we doing?”

“It’s a rescue mission. You are there to save Santa”

The party looks at each other in confusion.

Seeing the confusion on everyone’s faces, Mr. Duke adds “Yes. Santa is rea. Set whatever you beliefs aside and focus. This is your mission. Everything you need to know… Everything we know is in those folders.” He leans up against the table and looks at the party. “So what do you say? Will you help us?”

Hox grins as his tale wages wildly behind him. “Think of all new things out there. I’ll help. Hox will help!”

Euphemia and Aus flip through the documents. Studying them carefully. Euphemia is the first to speak. “Can I have the book rights to this little venture?”

“You’ll have to change a few things and submit it for approval but as long as you don’t mention me or the Ministry of Magical Defense, there shouldn’t be an issue.” Mr. Duke replies.

Aus puts down the stacks of papers. “I don’t like this. What is the Ministry of Magical Defense? Why don’t we have more back up?”

“The Ministry of Magical Defense is a secret organization that was created to deal with world-ending threats” Mr. Duke explains.

“You’re sending us to deal with a world-ending threat?” Aus asks.

“Yes”

Aus leans back on his chair and takes a deep breath. “You’re asking for a lot. We just met you. You expect us to just drop everything and go on some suicide mission?”

Mr. Duke clears his throat. “Look, I know this is a lot to take in. I wish we had more time. I wish we could ease you in better. I wish we could send a bigger team but this is the best we can do with the time we have. It’s not going to be easy, but it needs to be done. If you want to leave, there’s the door. Just know this. This isn’t just some isolated incident. If those toys finish their business, they will spread to the rest of the world. We need to get a handle on this before it gets out of control. We did the math, you guys are the best shot we have at nipping this in the bud”

Aus’s Talons scratch at the floor. He shakes his head. “I don’t like it.” He goes silent as he thumbs through the pages “If there’s no other way. I guess you can count me in.”

“There isn’t” Mr. Duke replies. He turns to Belyis who is watching from her corner of the table. “That just leaves you”

The party turns to her too. Belyis who had returned to her natural purple color turns red again. She averts her eyes. “Um,” she says, her voice a squeak. “I don’t know. I don’t um…”

Euphemia walks up to Belyis. She looks up at her with a sweet smile. “What do you say Bel? Do you want to be part of the team?”

Belyis’s face burns with embarrassment. “Sure,” says her whisper.

Euphemia claps and giggles with glee. “Yay! We’re going to be such good friends!” She wraps her arms as much around Belyis as she can and squeezes her. Belyis’s face is frozen with fear and confusion. Her face glows red from the embarrassment.

“A strange Kobold, a loud Halfling, a shy Tiefling, and an Aarakroca walk into Santa’s Village. You’re right. This is a pretty good joke”

YouTube Movie Reviews – In Time (2011)

When I first watched this movie, it was fine. And it is. It’s a generic action movie that tries to be too deep for its own good. You can ignore the plot holes, the acting, and the improbable science and it’s still not good.

My biggest issue with this film is its preachiness. Every single scene in this movie is about class inequality is bad. Every sentence in this movie is about time. It beats you with the metaphor so constantly that it loses its power. I was so over this movie’s message by the first 20 minutes; it makes this movie hard to watch. They repeat a lot of the same lines. I think this movie has the honorable goal of making some type of social criticism. I don’t it is effective in its execution.

Another issue with this movie is the action is underwhelming. I think Justin Timberlake is the best choice for this movie. I think his acting is good enough for the writing, but he didn’t do much fighting in his time with NSYNC. I would have much preferred if he started singing and dancing. This movie as a musical would be something to behold.

The best part of this movie is easily the time cop that chases them. Cillian Murphy is much too good for this movie, but his character saves it for me. Other than that, I can’t say I cared for it too much.

You can do a lot worse for free. If you are looking for an action movie, the action isn’t very good. If you are looking for a compelling love story, I would call what the main characters have more lust than love. If you want to look at attractive people do stuff, yeah, this is it.

You can watch this with your Amazon Prime subscription. It’s also free over on YouTube. See the link below. Thanks!