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YouTube Movie Reviews: Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

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Battle Beyond the Stars is a Sci-Fi movie I didn’t know I needed in my life. YouTube has been recommending this movie for a while now, and today I finally decided to give it a try. I found it delightful. Fans of Sci-Fi or Fantasy, this is the movie for you. There are space battles, an evil warlord, unique characters, and an epic journey. This is a fun film, and I recommend it to everybody. 

I will say that some modern audiences might find the pacing a bit slow. I believe the pacing to be fitting, but it is something to keep in mind. The movie is also very cheesy, but the cheesiness is part of the charm. For those of you who love cheesy 80’s, you should at least consider Battle Beyond the Stars.

My favorite aspect of this movie is the creativity. From the different aliens to the space ships, the filmmakers build a universe that feels diverse and expansive. You can tell this movie was low budget, but that doesn’t matter because the story is worth it. I didn’t care that some of the spacesuits were cardboard and duct tape. I didn’t care that the space battles were toys. I didn’t care because the story was so compelling. I admire how much suspense this movie creates with such a small budget.  Battle Beyond the Stars proves that a good movie doesn’t have to have a million-dollar budget to be good. All it needs is a good story.

For those interested, you can watch it on YouTube for free.

Watch It Here!
Movie Reviews

Captain Marvel (2019) Review

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It is no secret that I am not fond of Super Hero movies. At least I do little to hide my indifference towards them. For the most part, these films aren’t able to create a captivating narrative. Most of these movies rely too much on gimmicks instead of using an actual story to tell narrative. These gimmicks are what carry over from the old tired tropes that we’ve experienced in action movies too many times. There is too much lore in super heroes for there to be an effective narrative. Because these movies need to have action, often story needs to be sacrificed and replaced by heavily edited and disorienting fights. The issue with origin story movies, like Captain Marvel, is that her character needs to be introduced and the action needs to be sacrificed. I don’t think that film is the best medium for this because you end up with a rushed narrative and a sloppy outcome.

This is where captain Marvel suffers. A brand-new character needs to be created. I’ll admit, I am not familiar with the source material. And not having the entire series committed to memory, I was lost a few times. The story itself is easy enough to follow, it just isn’t interesting enough to sit through. If you are here because you want to see some action, look elsewhere. You will have to sit through multiple layers of flashbacks that unravel too slowly to be worth the price of the ticket. By the time you do make it to the action, it is heavily edited, and it looks bad. The worst part of super hero movies is the action because of how disoriented it is to watch. The camera constantly shakes the poorly choregraphed fights to give off the illusion of action.

The story itself is rather bland. Captain Marvel doesn’t do enough to stand out and be unique, instead she falls into a generic action movie star in a movie that has very little action. There isn’t anything terribly unique or engaging about this movie and you can tell it was just another cash grab.

This movie is shameless about its product placement. Product placement has been a part of cinema for a while, but it seems lately that product placement has become a huge part of the narrative. This movie will stop it’s narrative to plug its product placement. It’s already a slow movie, it doesn’t need any more stops and the product placement in this movie becomes distracting.

All in all, I would say to hold off on this one. It is in not way the worst super hero movie, but it isn’t worth the movie theater price. It doesn’t look good on the big screen and the story isn’t compelling enough to add to any must watch list you might already have. HOLD OFF

Movie Reviews

Next Gen (2018) Review

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Next Gen is a poor man’s Big Hero 6, and given the choice, you should probably go watch that instead. This more poorly written knock off is a Netflix original that you probably won’t miss if you don’t watch it. This movie attempts to be an edgier version of Big Hero 6 through its plot, design and music, it fails to entertain. It doesn’t push the envelope hard enough and has more holes in its plot to make it work. Granted I might not be the target audience, but you can still make a movie geared for kids that is still entertaining to other groups.

This is a movie about a trouble teen, Mai, who lives in a world where robots are a part of everyday life. The problem is that she hates robots. The movie suggest that her dislike of robots is due to her distant mother’s obsession with robots. The movie will suggest a lot to give the illusion of plot and character development. As these movies go, she is also troubled by a past you get in small bits of dialogue and flash backs. Because her father left at a young age for whatever reason, she is now unable to trust anyone and therefore forces herself to be alone. Her sad past is what makes her destined to be this movie’s hero. And as this movie’s hero, nothing bad will happen to her.

This is one of those movies where things happen because shitty writing. That is to say that they will make shit up to write themselves out of all the plot holes and it isn’t subtle. For example, her encounter with the robot of the movie, Project 77, as so credulous. She is able to sneak past all of these security robots which makes me believe that robots in this universe are useless if they can’t stop a single little girl from sneaking into a secret lab. Even more troubling is the lack of consequences in the movie. Just reaching Project 77 she causes enough property damage where she should have at least been fined, but of course nothing ever comes of it. Maybe they forgave her because they knew she was destined to save the world.

Then you get the weirdest abusive relationship in cartoon history. Project 77 imprints on Mai and the rest of the movie is Project 77 trying to break through Mai’s hardened character. The issue is that Mai only keeps him around to hurt the ones who hurt her. This is one of those movies where the character has to have the saddest life so everything is wrong with her. Now project 77’s quirk is that he only has a limited amount of memory and he must erase certain memories to keep making new ones. And you never really care because Mai isn’t a nice person. You can argue that her past, the one that was poorly written for her, made her act this way, but I didn’t feel bad for her. I didn’t want to follow her around. She was extremely generic, as characters of this genre often are, and the relationship between Mai and 77 wasn’t captivating like that of the Iron Giant or Big Hero 6.

The other big issue with this movie is the plot. The villain of the movie is ridiculous. His plan to take over the world is to mass produce these robots that he gives to everyone. He plants bombs in these and his plan is to activate them to blow up and destroy humanity. The problem is that these explosions do so little damage that by the end of it you wonder if it was even necessary for Mai and 77 to get involved. Like I have mentioned before, this movie has no consequences and therefore, you will never really care for this movie.

This movie is bland. Netflix seems to be pumping out movies for the sake of pumping them out. These knock offs are not content and instead we get our feed bombarded with crap they keep labeling as original. I wish that instead they would spend more time between releases, so they can make watchable content. They have the ability, I have seen some Netflix content that I didn’t mind but lately it just seems like they are churning cheap rip offs of shows and movies that were successful. The problem with this is you get content with very little substance that panders and it is getting harder and harder to justify paying for the subscription when good content is diluted with this crap. Skip this so they don’t keep making crap like this.

 

Movie Reviews

Geostorm (2017) Review

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Geostorm is a generic apocalyptic movie that came a little late to the party. The concept is simple enough, after a series of storms that almost end earth, scientist get together to make a network of weather controlling satellites. This saves the earth and now the people of earth live in seeming safety as the weather is controlled by the United States. For a while, things are good. The system, named Dutch Boy, works as intended and everyone is happy until one day it malfunctions killing a small town in Afghanistan. The more people start to investigate on the issue, the more the audience realizes that someone is using Dutch Boy to take over the world. Now it’s up to Gerard Butler tries to save the world from the very thing he created.

This movie is a waste of time. It tries desperately to be bigger than it actually is by making claims about the corruption of government, the dangers of playing god, and the dangers of technology to name a few. The issue isn’t that it makes these claims, but rather that it does so poorly. These topics alone are too big for this movie and as a result, the movie will spend little time making these arguments. In fact, it will flat out tell you these arguments in the form of poorly written dialog and it slows the movie down a lot. Had it focused on one theme and developed it a little more, maybe the movie could hold up better.

Another issue that I had with the movie is the acting. People in this movie seem to be sleep walking for their pay check. Other suffer from playing poorly written characters. It’s hard to bash on the acting of this movie when the script isn’t any good. None of the characters were memorable and worst off are the characters that were written in for the sake of cameo.

The biggest flaw of this movie is it’s lack of focus. There are so many plot lines for a movie this short. No one cares about Gerard Butler’s daughter that it will cut back too when you forgot she was in this movie. No one cares about the love plots for the two brothers. No one cares for the main plot to take over the presidency because the movie keeps cutting between them abruptly. Because of this, you don’t really have a connection with the characters because you spend so little time with them and you know less about them by the end of the movie than you did when you started watching this film. The plot itself doesn’t make any sense because of all the holes it has. But don’t worry, it will try to fill these holes with shitty writing.

I can’t recommend this movie because it is boring. It is a movie that suffers from coming out too late. Had it come out back when this genre was popular, I can see it doing better. But even still, it isn’t a good movie. It is too similar to the other movies of the genre but not as fun. I like some movies of this genre that cheesy, but this one doesn’t do anything that held my attention. Skip this one, I give a 2 out of 10.

Movie Reviews

The Meg (2018) Review

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The Meg starts off in the same fashion as other movies in the genre. It sets up a sad back story for the trouble and rugged hero and it cuts to modern day where scientists are doing science. As these movies go, science goes too far and they release the Meg into the modern world and now they must not only survive the Meg, but destroy it before it causes too much damage to the world. Sprinkle in a pointless love plot, some action scenes, and some comic relief and you have this generic movie.

I do not recommend going to watch this in theaters, you have seen way better from this genre and you’d be wasting your money. Instead, I urge you to wait till it comes out on Netflix, you aren’t missing anything. That being said, it isn’t a terrible movie, it’s just not worth theater price. First off, the characters in this film don’t help the movie. If this movie is meant to be a horror film, it has too much comic relief. This movie spends more time trying to be funny that it does trying to be suspenseful or scary. This is not a bad thing because I got a few chuckles from it, but if you are looking for a serious monster movie, look elsewhere. This is one of those movies where you will not remember character names, or even whole characters. There are characters in this movie who you will forget are in this movie until it is their turn to get eaten. And when the Meg eats, it will look terrible on the big screen.

The other issue with the movie is the chemistry between the characters. They kill off the only characters with any real chemistry really early on. The rest of the cast are poorly written archetypes that are put in the move to feed the Meg. The two leads are of course in love because the plot demands it. Their scenes together are my least favorite because they lack the most chemistry. While I do believe that there may be physical attraction, I do not believe that it is the deep seeded love the movie tries to convey. This movie will stop the plot to show you the two leads in an awkward interaction and tell you that they love each other repeatedly. This for me takes away from the film because I didn’t care for this plot line and cuts the time we get to spend with the real star, the Meg.

This movie has a lot of padding. I felt like the Meg was barely in the movie, and that is the whole reason I went to watch it in the movie. I wanted to watch a monster shark eat people. Instead you get a bunch of unassay scenes such as all the love plot scenes. The little girl was probably the worst padding for the film as she had no real purpose for being in the film. Cut her character out of the film and the movie doesn’t suffer from any drastic change. Instead she is there to provide comic relief and be cute in order to pander. Like most characters in this movie, she becomes a gimmick that doesn’t really work with the tone of the movie. She was in it to be cute and that was it. But by far my biggest complaint is that the Meg doesn’t kill enough people. This was the least violent monster attack I have ever seen.

This movie isn’t terrible. It is flawed but not the worst thing that has come to theaters this year. It has a certain charm to it that will be lost on a second viewing, but you won’t be completely bored with it. This is one of those movies you can only watch once and you will probably forget you watched it later. I do not recommend paying            theater price. Wait till it gets on Netflix. I give this movie a 5 out of 10.

Movie Reviews

Extinction (2018) Review

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Synopsis:

Extinction is another postapocalyptic film coming to us from Netflix. It seems this seems to be a recurring theme as a lot of the movies that are coming out have to deal with the end of the world. This one follows a family who must survive the world being destroyed by aliens? The film starts with a dream sequence and pretentious monologue. It sets the tone in the first five minutes, and it seems the tone is a pretentious one. We are introduced to the main character, Peter, who is a overworked father who is never there. The film attempts to show a dysfunctional family as the main issue seems that the father is never home. Aside from the disfunction we learn that Peter has also been having recurring nightmares about the world ending, nightmares that the film will continuously cut to throughout the first half of the movie. It is not until Peter attempts to make amends for being absent that the aliens decide to attack the earth. But of course, because of the skills he has from being a mechanic of sorts is able to escape the initial attack and starts to make his way to safety. And you can pretty much guess where the rest of the film goes as they try to make their way through the city without being spotted by the aliens.

 

Review

                Although a interesting premise, and by no means a dull movie, it’s not great. What hurts this movie the most is the miscasting, I can’t say I was impressed by any performance in this film. Michael Pena wasn’t very believable, and his serious role was played rather bland. The same could be said about Lizzy Caplan’s performance. I’ll give the kids a pass for their performance because they are children, but it did remove a lot of the drama and suspense when the kids had to act scared or sad. As a suspenseful movie, it doesn’t work. The budget was low, so I suspected there were going to be terrible effects, but they are not as bad as the effects the Escape Plan 2 so there is that.

                I really wouldn’t recommend this movie because it is not that good. It has some cool action scenes, but it is really boring. The only redeeming factor I could say would be the twist in the movie that makes the other wise confusing movie make sense, but that alone isn’t enough to watch the movie. Well not if you are an average movie goer. It does take some interesting liberties in playing with how narrative is told and perspective, but that’s saying little when the narrative is boring. In the end, I’d have to give this film a 4/10. It won’t be a terrible time, but it’s defiantly nothing I would recommend.

Movie Reviews

Signal (2014) Review

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               We start the film introduced with the main character Nic. For reasons that aren’t really explained in the movie, Nic cannot walk without the help of crutches. Nic is buying coffee for his friends who are in a road trip. Being the decent guy that he is, Nic stops to help a young boy who is struggling with the claw machine. He shows the boy how to win his prize by drawing the solution on the glass and giving the boy more money. This scene is used to get the audience to sympathize with Nic since he is a good person and also to show that he is really smart. To reinforce the fact that he is smart we learn that not only does Nic go to MIT, but he is a hacker as well. We are then introduced to his friend Jonah, who is also a hacker, and his girlfriend Haley who are on a road trip to California to help Haley move to her new school.

                Nic and Jonah are being taunted by some mysterious hacker who taunts the pair to go find him. And if obvious trap isn’t obvious, you haven’t been paying attention. The two find the location of the hacker and despite all the warnings that it is a bad idea, they go find this mysterious hacker because the plot says so. They find the location is at an abandoned house and as they search the building, something happens. Nic wakes up in a sterile research facility with no recollection of how he got there. We are introduced to Damon who is in charge of interrogating Nic to try to find out what is going on. We learn that aliens have made contact but nothing else is known. The rest of the movie involves Nic trying to reunite with his friend and girlfriend and trying to escape.

                This movie is a weird one. It tries incredibly hard to be deep by constantly going back to simple motifs that only really serve to flesh out Nic as a character. For example, he constantly has to write out his problems in order to find logical solutions. It doesn’t take long to figure out twist so the rest of the movie you are just waiting for the big reveal. At least I wasn’t surprised by what happened. The movie, if anything, is really pretty. The scenes all set up so nicely. The sterile facility, the desert, every scene was just so well shot that it is worth watching just to see the different sets.

                This film definitely isn’t for everyone, so if you are an average movie goer that likes big name block busters, search elsewhere. Nor is it different or unique enough where I can recommend it to people who like weird films, although I can see this having a small cult following. If you have absolutely nothing else to watch or are in the mood for some weird suspenseful sci-fi, give Signal a chance. I’ll give it a 6 out 10 because although I liked it, it is not for everyone and it’s one of those movies you can only watch so many times.

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Escape Plan 2: Hades

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Hey guys, its been a while. I’ve been busy with work and such and will be rolling out the reviews slower than usual until I get settled.

Escape Plan 2: Hades is the sequel no one knows exists. Probably because the entire budget was spent on the special effects. Plot wise, it follows the same formula as the first, except with a lot less Stallone, which was incredibly disappointing for me. If you look at the poster for this film, you’d assume this would be a movie that stares Stallone and Bautista, but it doesn’t. Instead we follow Shen who gets captured because his cousin has this super secret high tech skeleton key that some secret evil force wants to steal. The movie then works in a similar fashion where Shen must figure out a way to escape the prison.

This was a much more poorly executed movie than the first one. The budget is noticeably smaller than the previous as most of it is filmed in front of a green screen with horrible CGI. Most of the actors sleep walk through this, possibly because they assume no one is going to watch it. Sadly, I got to watch it and we paid to rent it. I have never felt so cheated in my life. The plot doesn’t make any sense and if you haven’t seen the first one, don’t bother watching this one because you will be confused. For some reason this movie makes a lot of references to the first one assuming that the first film was incredibly memorable. Having seen the first one myself, I struggled to follow the plot and I honestly forgot the plot of the first one. Writing this review, I am struggling to remember what the hell I just watched.

The best part of the movie is how the try to sequel bate a third movie, as if they believed this would be the beginning of a long lasting series, but I cant see a movie with a lower production value than this one. This movie is so bad and boring, skip this one. It doesn’t have any redeeming qualities. If you are a fan of the first one, watch the first one again.

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Carpool (1996) Review

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Carpool (1996) is a comedy written by Don Rhymer and directed by Arthur Hiller. The movie introduces to a businessman, Daniel, who is late for a meeting. The movie tells us that Daniel works a lot and is very punctual. Today is his families turn to drive the carpool, but his wife cannot do it because she has fallen extremely ill. Daniel now has to take all the kids to school. We are introduced to Daniels two sons whose names don’t matter. We also get introduced to the rest of the kids whose names also don’t matter. Because Daniel is running late, he has to get breakfast for the kids. This is where I’d argue the movie starts, 15 minutes in. In the store, the shop gets robbed. Due to a mistaken identity, Franklin, who happened to be on his way to rob a bank accidently robs the store because the actual robbers are incompetent. Remember that because it is a theme. Franklin ends up taking Daniel and the kids as hostage. The rest of the movie involves all of the hijinks that they must pass as they evade the police and try to get Franklin to his destination.

You should watch this movie if you want to know what it is like to have kids, but not actually have them. The movie even starts off with sound bites of kids being annoying as they are being driven around. The first five minutes are unbearable. Then you meet the kids, who are incredibly forgettable, and you wish you didn’t. They each have a quirk that defines them, but you forget the quirk because for the rest of the movie they just become incredibly annoying. If you’ve made it past the first 15 minutes of the movie, you are ready to be a parent. The first 15 minutes of this movie work to show how annoying kids are as Daniel tries to drive the kids to school and all they do is get on your nerves.

Now I’ll address the incompetence in this movie. Everyone is incompetent in this movie. In fact, this movie would be so much shorter if at least one person was intelligent, but no one in this city is. Literally this movie would have been over at the grocery store but they have to drag it out. The worst part, the movie never gets funny. There is a lot of slap stick that doesn’t land. Everyone in this movie fumbles their way through the scenes and it gets annoying.

If you’ve stuck with this movie to the half way mark you get to watch the kids and the robber franklin because….The movie even becomes self-aware and the father, Daniel, is constantly asking why the kids are helping out the criminal, and no one ever an answer. In fact, through the power of charisma alone, Franklin is able to win the hearts of everyone and is even avoid prison. Sorry, spoilers, but you should really avoid this movie.

This movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. It doesn’t even try to be funny. It’s like baby sitting extremely annoying kids that aren’t yours and you have sit there and watch this mess for an hour. There is absolutely no reason this movie should be this long. There are so many times he should have just been shot. Despite that, even if Franklin makes it to his destination, his face is all over the news. There is no possible outcome that he will walk out of this scenario a free man, even if it is a case of mistaken identity because he goes on to rob the store, kidnap all these people, and his hijinks destroy half the city.

Please skip this one, it’s not a good time even if you like watching bad movies for fun like I do. The characters will annoy you. There is no redeeming factor in this. I grade it 0 out 19. Thanks.

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Upgrade (2018) Review

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Upgrade (2018) comes from writer director Leigh Whannell. Grey is an old-fashioned mechanic living in a world everything is becoming mechanical and automated. Still clinging to the traditional way of living, he doesn’t use any of the modern tech that make up the world. Grey builds muscle cars for people who still want them. After delivering his last car, and being introduced to STEM, the most high-tech innovation for upgrading humans, Grey and his wife are assaulted. The assailants kill greys wife and leave him paralyzed. Eren, the creator of STEM tells him that there is a way he can walk again if Grey allows them to install STEM into his spine. STEM not only gives grey the ability to walk again, but incredible fighting and processing abilities. STEM agrees to help Grey and the rest of the movie is Grey trying to solve his wife’s murder.

I know this movie has been out for a while, but I felt the need to do it. I’ll start with the things I liked. The fight scenes are for the most part, cool. They are different from the traditional fight scenes as they seem more mechanical and calculated. The way STEM takes over and moves GRAY’s body is inhuman and it works. Gray himself is also an interesting character because he isn’t a traditional action hero. Gray is remorseful, he doesn’t want to kill, he’s afraid, and he constantly expresses this. Gray is human, but there are moments when he get’s cocky and emotional and STEM will point it out. Gray is flawed and the only reason that he is capable of being this action hero is because he has STEM. I liked that a lot because this is a action hero that isn’t immortal and it is definitely refreshing.

As for the bad, it gets a little dull. Some of the fight scenes are not great and I got bored on some of them. There is a really boring car chase. It got to the point where I was really only waiting for him to fight more people because although the concept of the plot was cool, the execution was kind of boring. I liked the first half, where he is dealing with being a paraplegic, but then after he gets stem it just got kind of boring if it wasn’t a fight scene. But that is just me. And who am I but some guy who writes movie reviews for fun.

The film itself is a solid watch. I don’t I can watch it again, or if I do it won’t be for a while. But I don’t regret watching it. I recommend it to any one, especially if you are looking for an action movie that doesn’t follow the formula. It is definitely a neat film. I rate it a 7 out of 10.