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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Hocus Pocus 2

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I wasn’t impressed by this sequel. As of writing this, I struggle to remember what I just watched. If you are a fan of the original, you have already been disappointed. For the rest of you, watch the original instead.

This attempt feels heartless and empty. It is a very cheesy and cartoonish movie, clearly written for a younger audience, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that this movie is boring. The acting is great for the Sanderson sisters and Gilbert, but everyone else feels flat. The main characters feel shallow because they are poorly written. I did not care for the main characters or the fact that they were no longer friends because there wasn’t enough to them for me to do so. The conflict between them seemed manufactured to fill the run time. Their only motivations seem to be driven by the script instead of any defining characteristic. I can’t even name you any of the main characters because they only existed to chase after the sisters. 

The plot of this movie is clearly a shallow attempt at cashing in on some nostalgia. There isn’t any tension in the movie despite there being a deadline. The villains and heroes were all goofing around so I stopped caring pretty early on. If this movie isn’t wasting time on pointless high school drama, being politically correct, or making references to the original, then nothing is happening. This movie builds up, if you can call this poorly written plot build-up, to a very disappointing conclusion powered by terrible writing and Ex-Machina. It is anti-climactic, and the Sanderson sisters deserved a better conclusion.

This movie was clearly written for kids. Hocus Pocus 2 was a sloppy attempt to reboot the series for a new generation. I expected more. You can stream on Disney+, but I recommend you watch the original instead.

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Movie Reviews

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

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Thor Love and Thunder just released on Disney + and while I wouldn’t go out of my way to go watch it, you won’t hate it if you have to sit through it. This isn’t the worst movie on the platform, but it is a mediocre superhero film. It certainly has some solid moments, but there are too many issues with it that make it hard to recommend. If you have nothing better to do, want a family movie night option, or just need some background noise, this can certainly fill a hole.

The movie deals with a Thor who has lost much of his purpose. With his homeland destroyed and his relationship over, Thor roams the universe with the Guardians of the Galaxy in search of a new purpose. This all changes when an entity begins to hunt down and kill the gods of the universe. With the aid of some new and old allies, Thor must put a stop to this new evil before the universe is robbed of all of its gods. Will he be able to save the universe once again? Probably.

This movie was fine, but it is hard to ignore its issues. The acting is good, the music is fantastic, and the villain is great. My issues with this movie are with some of its stylistic and narrative choices. This movie is desperate for a laugh, but not all of the jokes land. It’s hard to sit through a comedy that’s not funny, but at least it is not a Kevin Hart movie.

Another issue I have with this movie is how much it tries to be meta. This isn’t Deadpool, but I did enjoy Matt Damon putting on a play recapping the events of the last movie. That said, it gets old, and it feels out of place. There is an overbearing narrator that only comes in to completely destroy all the tension or change the tone of the movie. There is way too much comic relief in this movie when all I want is cool epic Norse mythology. As a result, the movie will feel slow because nothing happens or the jokes just aren’t funny. They made a mistake trying too hard to make this movie kid-friendly, and the narrative suffers for it. There is a kid-friendly way to tell this story without it being for toddlers. I don’t even want to touch the nauseating moral of the movie that someone believed would be a clever tie-in at the end. It is not.

This movie isn’t all bad though. I loved the villain of this movie, but they didn’t do enough with him. I wish this movie were darker and serious because it plays around with a lot of seriously dark mythology. Instead of leaning into a lot of what makes these gods and mythology cool, they traded it for a goofy overtone that never really works. I wouldn’t mind this movie being a comedy if it was actually funny.

If you have nothing else to watch, sure, why not? But your time is better spent elsewhere. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Disney+.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Lightyear (2022)

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Lightyear has just been released on Disney+, and after watching it, I understand why it flopped so badly. The first few minutes show promise. I was optimistic about the story because Buzz was interesting. Unfortunately, the rest of this movie turned into a disappointing and generic kids’ action movie. 

Buzz is the lone wolf archetype you are already familiar with. There isn’t much variation in his character or his journey, so why bother? His tendency to work alone causes the series of events that leave him and the colony stranded on a strange planet. The guilt Buzz feels about getting everyone stranded fuels his obsession to be perfect. Buzz makes it his mission to help get the colony into space again. His guilt and pride drive the remaining of this disappointing narrative. It isn’t a bad movie, but you have seen this story play out better elsewhere.

The voice acting was fine, but there are some awkward line readings that are hard to ignore. It can be better. I wish they would stop using celebrity voice actors and instead focus on hiring good voice actors. Good voice acting wouldn’t save this movie, but it would be more watchable. 

The characters in this movie are flat and uninteresting. Buzz is a generic action hero, the villain is a terrible trope that ruined the movie, and the side characters are one-note characters that only exist to make their one joke. I didn’t care about the movie because I didn’t care about the characters and that is a problem.

The story is a generic action movie. Buzz wants to work alone, but this one mission helps him realize that he can’t do everything alone. I was excited when I watched the trailers because I remember liking the animated series. Unfortunately, instead of the epic space adventure, we get a recycled story we have seen too many times already. This movie needs a compelling villain, a better lead and side characters, and a unique story. 

I am glad I didn’t spend any money on this movie because it isn’t worth it. It isn’t the worst movie on the platform, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. If you are forced to watch this, you aren’t going to hate it, but you probably won’t watch it again. I know I am not. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Disney+.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

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I really wanted to like this movie because the mixed media style is great. Unfortunately, the interesting style does not hide how uninteresting and cliché this movie is. If you have to sit down and watch it with your kids, you will lose interest but there are worse movies out there.  

The movie treats Chip and Dale as actors dealing with the aftermath of their career in their hit cartoon. Dale still clings to his past, attempting to revitalize his career and be able to see his friends again. Chip has moved on and attempts to live a normal life as a insurance salesman. Both are brought together as an evil gang has been enslaving cartoons and using them to produce knockoff movies. The thrill of the mystery revitalizes a broken friendship and is the focus of this movie.  

This movie isn’t all bad. There are some fun visual gags and puns that made me laugh, and I thought the way they mixed different animation styles was brilliant. Unfortunately, the story is uninspired and lazy. Gags will go on a little too long, the voice acting is inconstant, and the interactions between real people and the toons is always awkward. This movie also tries desperately to be meta, but these jokes only highlight the blaring flaws of this movie.  

John Mulaney isn’t a good choice for this movie. His voice acting in this movie is stiff, and took me out of the movie. It is jarring to have him aside Andy Samberg because their energies never match. Samberg is fantastic, but no one in this movie is able to bring the same energy he does to their performance. I know that Chip is supposed to be this stale character to contrast Dale’s bubbly nature, but Mulaney’s  performance is too stale to be entertaining. There is a catalogue of fantastic voice actors who would have been a better choice, but instead they chose to be disappointing. 

There is a moment in this movie where the characters poke fun at how cliché the plot is, I think that was valid criticism. This movie never surprises or tries anything interesting outside of the art style and it doesn’t pay off. You get the same buddy cop comedy you’ve seen way too many times but this time there are cartoons in it. There are better examples in the genre, I suggest you watch those instead.  

Look if you have to sit through this for your kids, it isn’t going to kill you. You will probably lose interest, but it isn’t the worst kids movie out there. I assume the kids this movie was made for will enjoy it more than I did. The whole time I was watching this, I was wishing I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit or even either of the Sonics. If you are interested, it is available for streaming on Disney+.