Tag Archives: halloween movies

Movie Review: Halloween Ends (2022)

October 15, 2022 josechurape 9 Comments

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This series should have ended with the last movie. There is no reason for this movie to exist except to make money, but you shouldn’t give it any of yours. If you want to indulge in someone else’s self-serving terrible vision, this is the movie for you. But if you are trying to watch some good horror for Halloween, watch anything else.

Halloween Ends is the conclusion to the Michael Meyers saga that no one asked for. This is possibly the dullest and most uninspired slasher movie I have seen this year, and I just watched Jeepers Creepers: Rebirth. There are many issues with this movie, but the biggest one is that nothing happens. I like that there has been a trend to give horror movies proper plots, but please make it interesting. There is nothing interesting about this sequel. The first half of this movie is wasted on a relationship no one cares about. There are maybe 15 minutes where the slasher movie exists, but the rest is just pointless filler. The slasher bits aren’t even fun, most of the kills happen off-camera or too quickly to matter.

The biggest issue I have with this movie is with overbearing narration that refuses to go away. I am sorry, but I came here expecting to watch a slasher film, not to listen to a terrible audiobook. All the narration in this movie comes in the form of a fake book Jamie Lee Curtis is writing that only seems to be repeating her big speech from the last movie. You even get to watch her write the book in real-time. How exciting is that? I am very upset that this movie is desperate to convince its audience that the Halloween series is some deep allegory for the human condition when it has never been about that. It is completely self-serving and takes away from the only reason people would go watch this dumb movie.

The other issue I have with this movie is how inhuman they make Meyers be. This film feathers an immortal, omniscient, and teleporting Michael who terrorizes the town until he gets to Jamie Lee Curtis. They make it a point to show that he is unstoppable, but then he is easily and anti-climactically stopped by an injured woman and her granddaughter. I don’t even have the words to express my disappointment.

I can only hope that this is truly the end of this series, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they reincarnate him for another terrible reboot. I am not surprised that this disappointing reboot got such a disappointing ending, but it does hurt that I wasted my time on it. Don’t watch this movie in theaters when you can stream it on Peacock. Don’t stream it on Peacock because it is a complete waste of time.

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Image Source: By Universal Pictures – https://www.universalpictures.com/movies/halloween-ends, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=71346881

Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Significant Other (2022)

October 11, 2022 josechurape Leave a comment

Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay

Don’t waste your time on Significant Other. It is a garbage movie that should have never been made. I don’t know what it is about Paramount, but they don’t seem to understand how to make a proper horror movie.

The movie focuses on a generic couple who go on a camping trip. Alone in the woods, they begin to notice that there is something off. They find strange animal corpses, they see shadows, and it feels like something is watching them. Tensions grow high as the couple’s relationship begins to strain. There are aliens in the woods, and they seem to be after one of them. Will they be able to make it out alive?

It’s a shame that these actors are wasted on such a bad movie. The acting is fine, but everything else is terrible. There is no tension in this film, the buildup makes no sense, the twist is confusing, and the ending is disappointing. I had to rewatch this movie because I thought I missed some important details. I was very confused when the twist came, and I wanted to make sure I gave this film its fair trial. I didn’t miss anything. This movie is just that bad at telling its story.

I feel like a broken record at this point, but nothing happens in this movie. The first thirty minutes of this movie is relationship problems the movie. The boyfriend proposes, but the girl has issues with commitment. The film becomes a lot of awkward conversations in reaction to not accepting the proposal. The movie then tries desperately to be symbolically and suspenseful like Hereditary, but it only slows down the plot. There are a lot of scenes where the camera pans over nature to suggest something sinister is going on when nothing is.

I am going to spoil this movie because I need you to understand my frustration with it. If you are planning to watch this, don’t, but if you insist, stop reading here.

The movie suggests that the drama between the couple stems from unresolved trauma the girl is holding on to. I refuse to use the character names because they are generic and flat. The only defining characteristic for this girl is that she has crippling anxiety. This anxiety creates the strain on their relationship that takes up the first half of the movie. Something happens in the woods that makes the girl become distant. The movie suggests that maybe she was possessed by the aliens, and she pushes her boyfriend off a cliff.

The big twist is that the alien can steal the form of other life forms. With each transformation, the alien also gets the instincts and emotions of the form he takes. This will become important later. The boyfriend had been dead the whole time. The girl had somehow stumbled on the body early on and was acting suspicious because she knew. After the big reveal, the alien stands over the girl ready to claim another victim, but he finds himself frozen, unable to act. He can’t bring himself to kill the girl because he is overwhelmed by his love for her. Instead, he decides to save her from the impending alien invasion. The girl freaks out, and a convenient shark helps her escape again.

The alien can’t die, and he traps her again. The alien takes her form, and as he is about to kill her, the girl overcomes her anxiety and stands up for herself. The alien, on the other hand, is overwhelmed by crippling anxiety and has a panic attack. The girl takes this opportunity to kill the alien. As the girl rides off into the sunset, the movie sequel baits. The alien isn’t dead, and there is an invasion on the way.

I am still struggling to make sense of what I just watched. I am so mad that love saved her the first time and even madder that her anxiety saved her the final time. It’s not a good movie. This is time I will never get back. Don’t waste your time when there are better, more competent horror movies out there. But if you don’t believe me, you can stream it on Paramount+.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Hocus Pocus 2

October 4, 2022 josechurape Leave a comment

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I wasn’t impressed by this sequel. As of writing this, I struggle to remember what I just watched. If you are a fan of the original, you have already been disappointed. For the rest of you, watch the original instead.

This attempt feels heartless and empty. It is a very cheesy and cartoonish movie, clearly written for a younger audience, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that this movie is boring. The acting is great for the Sanderson sisters and Gilbert, but everyone else feels flat. The main characters feel shallow because they are poorly written. I did not care for the main characters or the fact that they were no longer friends because there wasn’t enough to them for me to do so. The conflict between them seemed manufactured to fill the run time. Their only motivations seem to be driven by the script instead of any defining characteristic. I can’t even name you any of the main characters because they only existed to chase after the sisters.

The plot of this movie is clearly a shallow attempt at cashing in on some nostalgia. There isn’t any tension in the movie despite there being a deadline. The villains and heroes were all goofing around so I stopped caring pretty early on. If this movie isn’t wasting time on pointless high school drama, being politically correct, or making references to the original, then nothing is happening. This movie builds up, if you can call this poorly written plot build-up, to a very disappointing conclusion powered by terrible writing and Ex-Machina. It is anti-climactic, and the Sanderson sisters deserved a better conclusion.

This movie was clearly written for kids. Hocus Pocus 2 was a sloppy attempt to reboot the series for a new generation. I expected more. You can stream on Disney+, but I recommend you watch the original instead.

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