I have been avidly avoiding Christmas movies this season, not because I am a Grinch, but because I couldn’t muster the strength to sit through them. Let’s face it, this genre is the recycling of the same movie every year, and it is getting harder to sit through them. I decided that today I would start getting into the Christmas spirit, but unfortunately, the movie is Something From Tiffany’s.
Something From Tiffany’s is the story of two lost souls who are stuck in their respective relationships. Fate brings these two unknowing souls together by way of New York City taxi. Ethan is at Tiffany’s buying his engagement ring when Rachel’s boyfriend comes in that same night to buy his girlfriend a cheap gift. In a brief moment, the boyfriend gets hit by the taxi, causing the events that will bring Ethan and Rachel together for Christmas. Ethen, being the generic and caring man that he is, rushes to check up on the generic boyfriend, but he ends up switching the ring with the cheap gift. Ethen and Rachel will meet in the hospital, and it is love at first sight. Fate keeps bringing them together, and in a matter of days, they fall madly in love with each other. You can guess what happens from here.
This movie is bad even by the genre’s standards. The acting was surprisingly good, but its narrative is terrible. I always feel bad for the significant others in these movies who have the cruel fate of being love’s cruelest obstacle. Ethan’s girlfriend seemed like a nice girl whose only fault seemed to be that she wasn’t quirky enough. Ethan was ready to propose, but one brief encounter at the hospital was enough to change his mind. Rachel’s boyfriend was a loser, but at least he wasn’t evil which is refreshing.
The idea was to show how the leads were stagnating, stuck in their routines. It was only through finding true love that they can move forward and live their best lives. But is it love that they share? Is it fate bringing these two together? Is it Christmas magic? They are only together for a day before they decide that they are meant to be together. I see this as a relationship fueled more by desire than love. Rachel and Ethan lust for something different and fresh, and this accident gives them that. It is less romantic to think about how this race to fall in love for Christmas is less about fate and more about a change in scenery. Even if they were meant to be together and were previously in bad relationships, they were ready to be engaged, and that is where I have my problem.
I am overthinking a movie that had no effort put into it, but I was bored. Let me have this. There are better movies in this genre. Go watch something like The Princess Switch or Falling for Christmas instead. They are bad too, but somehow they are a little better.
You can stream this on Amazon, but I wouldn’t.
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Movie Review: Gone in the Night (2022)
Gone in the Night shouldn’t be a movie. This movie is the biggest waste of time on the platform. Nothing happens in this movie. There is barely a plot, and the twist is terrible. If you are considering watching this movie, don’t.
Wynona Ryder and her boyfriend plan to spend a weekend in the woods in an effort to save their relationship. But when they get to the cabin, they find that the cabin has been double booked. Another couple is already spending the weekend, but they decide to share the booking. Everything seems fine, but in the morning, Ryder discovers that her boyfriend has run off with another woman. She eventually decides to find out what happened to him, and it unravels to be one of the slowest and most disappointing mysteries you will ever see.
Gone in the Night wastes its talented cast on poorly written and forgettable characters. There is barely a story to this movie. Most of the time you are watching Wynona Ryder go on boring dates and lazily search for her missing boyfriend. What little story exists in this movie is brushed over so you can make it to the next boring date. The narrative exists as an inconvenience because of its collection of fake-deep rants and boring scenes with Winona Ryder. The big reveal is brushed over so quickly, it barely exists. If you are going to make a thriller, give your mystery some screen time.
Gone in the Night is supposed to be a thriller, but it isn’t thrilling. There is no suspense or buildup. Things just happen, and then it just ends. It tries to be deep by ending on a cliffhanger, but who cares? There wasn’t enough development for it to work. Don’t watch this movie, nothing happens. You can stream it on Hulu, but it isn’t worth the data.
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Movie Review: Nanny (2022)
Nanny is a new movie on Amazon that is a slow burn, but one worth seeing. It won’t be for everyone because of its pacing, but the story it tells is an important one. By mixing west African folklore with the mundane ritual of every day, this film challenges the fantasized American dream and replaces it with a more bleak reality.
Aisha moves to New York to work as a nanny for a rich family. She hopes to use the money from this job to bring her son to America so that he can have a chance at a better life. But life in America isn’t as easy as it seems. Aisha finds herself working long hours and constantly having to fight her employer for payment. The only relationship that she has with her family back home is through voicemails, videos, and photographs. The isolation she feels as she misses her family and home begin to take their toll on her psyche. It is a well-done narrative about an experience that is often overlooked.
The movie is great, but it is slow and quiet. The pacing and the silence help create a truly isolating experience, one that grows in intensity the deeper you get into the movie. Its clever use of folklore and fantastical imagery illustrates Aisha’s non-verbal struggle masterfully. Her emotions and longings come, breaking the barrier between reality and emotion.
But this movie doesn’t just explore the world through the experience of a Nanny, it challenges the American fairy tale. The film takes the isolating existence of immigrant life and contrasts it against a struggling working-class family. Her employer struggles in a male-dominated world while tolerating her husband’s insecurities. The movie’s focus is on Aisha, but the movie masterfully sprinkles enough bites of dysfunction to completely shatter American idealism.
This isn’t a story that is new to the American landscape, but it is an important one to tell. Nanny is well-acted, beautifully directed, and well-told. It might be a bit slow and a little too artsy for its own good, but it is one I need to recommend. You can stream it on Amazon, and I recommend that you at least give it a try.
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Movie Review: Scrooge: A Christmas Carol (2022)
It has been a rough season for musicals; at least the ones I have sat through have been bad. I had the lowest expectation for Scrooge: A Christmas Carol. I believed this would be another of Netflix’s shameless cash grabs at a timeless IP, but I was mistaken. This adaptation does justice to the classic Dickens story and is one that I recommend you watch this holiday season.
There is a lot to love about this movie. The music is catchy, the voice acting is solid, the animation is beautiful, and the dog is so cute. I was initially captured by how pretty this movie is, but I stayed for the music that followed. I have mentioned before that I am not a fan of musicals, but this has to be the exception. A few of the songs still rattle around in my head as I write this review. If you are hesitant at all to watch this movie, give it a chance. It will be better than any hallmark movie you’ll have to sit through. For those wondering, this is better than Spirited.
There isn’t much I can say about the story because it is based on the classic by Charles Dickens. What sets it apart is the art direction. The animation is fantastic. The haunts take advantage of the dream world and create some truly breathtaking moments. I recommend it just for the art style, but trust me, the songs are pretty good as well. I particularly loved how they chose to handle Scrooge. Scrooge isn’t an evil man. Instead, he is a tragic character who has closed his heart because he doesn’t want to be hurt. His redemption arc may be rushed, but gosh is it pretty?
Unfortunately, the writer, songwriter, and director, and the reason we are blessed with this movie this season has passed away. I am truly grateful for the gift she left us for the season. May she rest in peace.
If you need a movie to add to your Christmas marathon, this should be somewhere on your list. It is colorful and wonderful, and the songs are great. Go stream it on Netflix.
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Movie Review: Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio
I was very excited about Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio. I believed that Del Toro’s artistic vision would bring new life to this ancient fairy tale, but sadly I was mistaken. This movie ended up being a huge disappointment that I struggled to finish.
There is no real need for a synopsis. This movie is the story of Pinocchio set against the backdrop of WWI-era Italy voiced by British actors.
I wish this movie was voiced in Italian because I was not a fan of any of the voices. The singing would have been more tolerable in Italian. If the voices don’t turn you off this movie, the singing sure will. Admittedly, I am not a fan of musicals, but I at least expect the singing to be good and the songs to be catchy. This version of the fairy tale chooses to be a musical without any talented singers or catchy songs to alleviate you from the boring narrative.
The story may have been well-intentioned as it touches on an important moment in history, but it unravels much too slowly. With the added musical numbers, this movie feels longer than it is. This felt like someone was trying to tell in Guillermo Del Toro’s style, but it was an attempt that fails miserably.
This adaptation may look pretty, but it lacks any real substance. I was not impressed. Once again I am disappointed by another of Guillermo Del Toro’s projects, and it is becoming difficult to remain supportive.
You can stream Pinocchio on Netflix, but I wouldn’t bother. I understand that this movie is in select theaters, but that would be a waste of your money.
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The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special (2022) Review
The Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special will pass the time if you have nothing else to watch. While it may not be the worst entry to the MCU, it isn’t the breath of fresh air it promises to be. I thought it was fine, but I wouldn’t watch it again.
The special picks up with a devastated Flynn as he mourns the loss of Gamora. In an effort to cheer up Flynn, Mantis and Drax go on an adventure. They fly to earth in order to bring Flynn some Christmas joy, but they become distracted by Earth’s strange customs. The film focuses on the shenanigans of Drax and Mantis as they try to find Kevin Bacon.
The series is just okay, but it isn’t anything special. At least it isn’t something I would rush to. The performances were fine, and even got a few laughs out of it, but you have to sit through a lot of improv. There isn’t a real structure to this movie. Instead, this movie feels like a collection of skits, some of which go on for too long. You will not hate this if you watch it, so throw it on when you need a break from all those Hallmark movies I am sure you’ve been binging.
I don’t have anything else to say because this was a mediocre Christmas special. I wasn’t even going to review it because I found it unremarkable. It wasn’t bad, but it isn’t going to become a holiday staple. I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it, but if you need something to watch, sure. You can stream it on Disney+.
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Movie Review: Underwater (2022)
Underwater was a stressful endeavor that I recommend to those seeking a solid horror movie you can stream from the comfort of your home. While it may not be perfect, it has far exceeded my expectations. If your heart isn’t racing by the end of this movie, then you were probably watching something different.
Through our ever-growing hubris, humanity has begun to mine the ocean floor for its resources. This impossible task is engineered by a corporation with a mysterious agenda. An enormous mining operation sits at the bottom of the ocean floor until disaster rattles at its security. The rig begins to fail, forcing its few survivors to scramble for the surface. But their only chance sits miles away. They must venture into the dark ocean and hope their supplies don’t run out. But there is something evil swimming in the darkness. Will they ever get to see the surface again?
I liked this movie a lot. The suspense was well-built, the acting was solid, and the story was fine for what it is. It does follow the familiar formula that other movies in this genre do, but the execution was good enough that it didn’t matter. My only real complaint about this movie is that there are some confusing scenes. These scenes are dark, poorly rendered, or very shaky. I would have to sit and wait for the scene to finish to understand what just happened. This might have been done deliberately in an effort to emulate what the survivors were feeling, but it didn’t always work. It wasn’t bad enough to ruin the experience, but it is something I have to mention.
One thing I do recommend if you choose to watch this movie is to avoid the trailer because it contains spoilers. It is not a huge deal because you can probably guess what is going to happen as you watch the movie, but it is something to consider if you care about spoilers. I will include the trailer below because I always do, but you have been warned.
It has been a while since I have sat through a movie that has left me this stressed out about life. Yes, the plot was predictable, but I didn’t care because I was enjoying the ride. If you are looking for a solid survival horror movie, go stream Underwater on Hulu.
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Movie Review: Troll (2022)
The Kaiju genre has been growing stale lately. With my recent dispointment in Godzilla Vs. Kong, I had little faith that Troll would be a good movie. I thought this film would be another of Netlix’s generic attempts at a genre, but I was pleasantly surprised when Troll turned out to be a fantastic Kaiju movie.
Nora is a respected paleontologist on the verge of discovery when a giant monster wakes from its slumber. A troll now roams the Norwegian countryside bringing with it destruction and mayhem. Nora might be the only person on Earth with the knowledge to stop the troll. Can she do it before the troll destroys Norway?
Troll is a beautiful entry into the genre with its fantastic actors, great story, and amazing action. This movie takes advantage of Norway’s beautiful landscape, and I recommend this so that you can enjoy Norway’s breathtaking beauty. The monster design for the troll is also fantastic. I was scared Troll would have a terribly rendered, but the CGI in this movie is phenomenal.
I don’t speak Norwegian, but it sounded like the acting was good. The movie does offer dubbing in different languages, but I recommend you watch it in the original tongue for an authentic experience. Nora is a great protagonist, and her actor carries this movie. I found it refreshing when the lead of this movie was a competent, strong, and independent woman. Nora is a terrific character because she isn’t too perfect while remaining a believable badass. Excuse my language; Nora is a badass.
The story is well done. It is easy to follow while giving its audience enough information to follow along. I know nothing about Norwegian Folklore, but this movie gave me enough to understand what was going on without slowing down the pacing. I feel like we’ve come to the point where recent Kaiju movies follow a tired old formula. Troll does touch on some of the genre’s staples but still tells its unique narrative. Best of all, this movie doesn’t waste time on a pointless romantic subplot. Although one may be implied, Nora is only here to stop the troll.
The action is really cool in this movie. The mayhem, the carnage, and the fighting all come together to form a fantastic narrative. There is a bit of propaganda as you get to see the full extent of Norway’s military prowess. There are scenes dedicated to showcasing how well equipt the Norwegian military is. It does slow down the action a bit, but it never gets distracting. Regardless of this minor slowdown, this is an exciting movie. I was on the edge of my seat while I watched Nora save the world.
Troll has made me hopeful for the Kaiju genre. I can only hope that this is the start of something great. If you haven’t seen it, go watch Troll now. It is a unique entry to the genre, and you can stream it now on Netflix.
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Movie Review: Emergency (2022)
Emergency is a fantastic movie that you need to watch. While this movie may be packaged as another Hangover clone, it proves to be much more meaningful. Emergency uses the tired old formula of the genre to make important criticism about racial inequality. This is a movie will make you laugh, but it will also make you think. It isn’t an uncomfortable movie, but its message is real and important.
Kunla, Sean, and Carlos just want one night of epic partying in their last year of college. They decide to go on the blackout tour, a night where they hit all the biggest parties on campus. Their plans get complicated when they come home to discover a passed-out white girl in their living room. The optics don’t look good because they are men of color, and the young white girl is drunk and possibly drugged. They decide that the best course of action is to take her to the hospital so that she can get the help she needs. Unfortunately, this act of kindness leads to the worst night of their lives.
I love this movie. The acting is fantastic, and the chemistry the leads share is infectious. The story is phenomenal. This is a well-made movie.
Emergency differentiates itself from the rest of the genre through its unique narrative. The shenanigans and challenges the leads face during the night aren’t caused by drinking and partying but rather by their race. The characters are limited in what they can do because of the color of their skin. The movie does a fantastic job of contrasting what they are allowed to do against what the white students can. They can’t call the police or do much because they could be arrested or have their reputations destroyed. It is a difficult situation that they continue to be in because they are constantly facing challenges due to their race. The movie does a fantastic job of balancing the humor and messaging to make an effective narrative without it being preachy or difficult to watch. The intention of this movie isn’t to shame or guilt, but rather to share an important point of view that often gets ignored.
This movie became very real for me because it is an issue that I am familiar with. I am constantly being made aware of my race and am limited on what I can do because I have to always worry about the optics. Am I looking menacing when I am walking in the park playing Pokemon GO? Do I look like I am about to steal when I am shopping for groceries? These are just a few thoughts that go through my head on a daily basis. I have to constantly be adjusting how I present myself so that I don’t get in trouble for existing. It is a trauma I have always carried with me, and one that I will continue to carry.
This movie does a fantastic job of showing this trauma through a familiar narrative. I don’t mean to scare you or make you uncomfortable with my analysis. Emergency is a fantastic comedy, but it gets serious when it needs to. It is charming, funny, and a very refreshing take on a tired old genre. Check it out on Amazon if you have a Prime membership.
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Movie Review: Fantasy Football (2022)
Fantasy Football is another kid’s wish sports movie you’ve seen before. The gimmicks, slang, and magic used in this movie have been updated to fit into modern pop culture, but it follows the same tired formula. While it may not be the worst movie you will watch with your kids, it isn’t a great one either. Fantasy Football is fine for what it is, but it won’t be winning any awards.
Callie’s dad is a professional football player that is constantly being traded. As a result, her family moves around a lot, and playing Madden is Callie’s only constant. All she wants is to have a place she can call her home, but moving makes this impossible. When they move to Atlanta, Callie and her family have hope that this will be their final move. Callie joins a club and is starting to make friends. But hope starts to fade as her father’s career isn’t going well. Her father is getting older and is no longer as skilled as he used to be. He is overshadowed by the up-and-coming talent that surrounds him. At their lowest, a wish is made that will change everything. Callie finds that she can control her dad through her game. Together they start winning games and creating headlines. Can Callie balance her new life and her father’s career? Will the Falcons make it to the Super Bowl?
This movie is as cookie-cutter as it gets; there is no getting around it. One thing to note, there is a lot of shameless product placement in this movie. This is essentially a giant commercial for Madden and the NFL. It is still one of the better commercials I’ve seen, but it is something to keep in mind.
Fantasy Football is fine for a kids’ movie. The writing is sloppy and problematic at points, but it is good enough. The acting is inconstant, but there is only so much that can be done with this script. There is also no chemistry between the actors. Callie is a solid lead, although her story is a bit of a fumble. The emotional moments don’t hit as hard because there isn’t any proper development for any of them. This movie focuses mainly on Football and Madden, so Callie never gets a chance to develop her character or create the meaningful relationships the movie tells you she does. There’s enough story to make it a kids’ movie, but I found it a little lazy. You have to suspend all your disbelief for this movie to work, but you are probably not the target audience.
Although I found some of the dialogue problematic, I appreciate this story being about people of color. As a person of color, it’s nice to see that kids are starting to get movies with a more diverse representation. It meant a lot to me as a kid when I finally got to see people that looked like me on TV, and I can only imagine it is true for kids today. Fantasy Football is a step in the right direction toward more positive and diverse stories, but we still have ways to go.
What I liked most about this movie is that it doesn’t have a tangible villain. I found it interesting that the villain in this movie is pride. The dad may have a rival, but the rival isn’t a terrible person that needs to be defeated. Instead, it is pride that complicates the narrative and creates the adversities the characters need to overcome. The dad consumed with pride fails to see how his actions make him selfish. Callie, consumed by her father’s pride, is forced to make a difficult decision. It is refreshing to see characters not have to overcome some cartoonishly evil villain, but something more personal. It isn’t done well, but I appreciate that there was an attempt.
I have sat through worse movies than Fantasy Football. Don’t go out of your way to watch this movie because it isn’t worth it, but you won’t hate it if you have to watch it with your kids. You will get bored, but trust me, it could be worse. You can stream it on Paramount+.
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