The new year isn’t off to the best start. I just watched Kaleidoscope and I feel cheated of the thrilling heist experience I was promised. This series has been stretched out so much that it has lost all of its meaningful substance. This series was a waste of time, do not watch it.
The series starts with a man in prison who spends his day growing increasingly bitter about life and plotting his escape. A terrible diagnosis turns his plans into reality. As a free man, he gathers the sloppiest crew to pull off a heist from one of the most secure banks in New York City. Can they come together in time and make off with $7 billion? Or will this be the end of this generic showrunner?
It makes me sad to see such an excellent cast wasted on such a boring series. I came into Kaleidoscope expecting interesting characters and adrenaline-pumping heists, but instead, all I got was pointless drama. The heists are fine at best, but they are overshadowed by how boring everything else is. They could have cut this into a two-hour movie, and life would have been better.
My biggest complaint with this series is that it tries to do too much. There is too much backstory for characters no one will care about, and there are too many uninteresting plot threads to unravel. The series has an interesting gimmick where it plays with the timeline, but it doesn’t work here. The series will jump around between different characters and times, building up to its disappointing heist. Instead of experiencing the heist as it happens, you get to watch the excitement of planning, relationship problems, and its uninspired aftermath. It was a mistake to have the heist come at the end because I had already checked out long before then. Sometimes starting at the end makes a narrative interesting because you need to know what happened. Here, it made me care even less about this series.
If you like heist movies, watch one of the better ones. This series is a waste of your time. You can watch it on Netflix, but I wouldn’t.
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Film Review: The Invitation (2022)
The Invitation is a disappointing horror movie that isn’t worth your time. There are some interesting visual moments in this movie, but they aren’t worth sitting through this movie.
Evie is a struggling artist with no family left who decides to do a DNA test to see if she has any living relatives. She finds a long-lost cousin who flies her out to England to meet the rest of the family she didn’t know about. Evie is shocked to find she belongs to a very powerful and old family in England and quickly falls for a mysterious lord. But within the shadows of the manor, an evil presence hunts for blood. Can Evie discover the sinister motives behind her visit before it is too late?
The acting in this movie is fine, but the writing isn’t. They try too hard to be politically correct, and it comes off too preachy. Evie is constantly voicing her disapproval of the wealthy class, and it gets tiresome. Evie is a very one-note character whose only characteristic is to virtue signal woke buzzwords to a millennial audience that probably didn’t go see this movie.
The writing struggles to keep the plot moving. While I appreciate the beautiful shots of the manor they used as a setting, there isn’t any substance. If the movie isn’t virtue signaling or forcing conflict, it sort of remembers it’s supposed to be a horror movie. There are some solid horror moments in this film that have me wishing this movie stayed a horror movie instead of turning into the cheesy cliche it is. What little suspense this movie can create falls flat when ex-Machina comes to save the day.
With so much content out there, your time is better spent elsewhere. But for those who don’t believe me, watch this on Netflix.
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Movie Review: Gone in the Night (2022)
Gone in the Night shouldn’t be a movie. This movie is the biggest waste of time on the platform. Nothing happens in this movie. There is barely a plot, and the twist is terrible. If you are considering watching this movie, don’t.
Wynona Ryder and her boyfriend plan to spend a weekend in the woods in an effort to save their relationship. But when they get to the cabin, they find that the cabin has been double booked. Another couple is already spending the weekend, but they decide to share the booking. Everything seems fine, but in the morning, Ryder discovers that her boyfriend has run off with another woman. She eventually decides to find out what happened to him, and it unravels to be one of the slowest and most disappointing mysteries you will ever see.
Gone in the Night wastes its talented cast on poorly written and forgettable characters. There is barely a story to this movie. Most of the time you are watching Wynona Ryder go on boring dates and lazily search for her missing boyfriend. What little story exists in this movie is brushed over so you can make it to the next boring date. The narrative exists as an inconvenience because of its collection of fake-deep rants and boring scenes with Winona Ryder. The big reveal is brushed over so quickly, it barely exists. If you are going to make a thriller, give your mystery some screen time.
Gone in the Night is supposed to be a thriller, but it isn’t thrilling. There is no suspense or buildup. Things just happen, and then it just ends. It tries to be deep by ending on a cliffhanger, but who cares? There wasn’t enough development for it to work. Don’t watch this movie, nothing happens. You can stream it on Hulu, but it isn’t worth the data.
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Movie Review: Nanny (2022)
Nanny is a new movie on Amazon that is a slow burn, but one worth seeing. It won’t be for everyone because of its pacing, but the story it tells is an important one. By mixing west African folklore with the mundane ritual of every day, this film challenges the fantasized American dream and replaces it with a more bleak reality.
Aisha moves to New York to work as a nanny for a rich family. She hopes to use the money from this job to bring her son to America so that he can have a chance at a better life. But life in America isn’t as easy as it seems. Aisha finds herself working long hours and constantly having to fight her employer for payment. The only relationship that she has with her family back home is through voicemails, videos, and photographs. The isolation she feels as she misses her family and home begin to take their toll on her psyche. It is a well-done narrative about an experience that is often overlooked.
The movie is great, but it is slow and quiet. The pacing and the silence help create a truly isolating experience, one that grows in intensity the deeper you get into the movie. Its clever use of folklore and fantastical imagery illustrates Aisha’s non-verbal struggle masterfully. Her emotions and longings come, breaking the barrier between reality and emotion.
But this movie doesn’t just explore the world through the experience of a Nanny, it challenges the American fairy tale. The film takes the isolating existence of immigrant life and contrasts it against a struggling working-class family. Her employer struggles in a male-dominated world while tolerating her husband’s insecurities. The movie’s focus is on Aisha, but the movie masterfully sprinkles enough bites of dysfunction to completely shatter American idealism.
This isn’t a story that is new to the American landscape, but it is an important one to tell. Nanny is well-acted, beautifully directed, and well-told. It might be a bit slow and a little too artsy for its own good, but it is one I need to recommend. You can stream it on Amazon, and I recommend that you at least give it a try.
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Series Review: Hot Skull (2022)
Hot Skull is an interesting take on the zombie genre. While the series may not feature the traditional zombie, it does feature the traditional tropes. The series is in Turkish, but there is dubbing in multiple languages. I always recommend watching shows in their original language, but the English dubbing for this is pretty good.
Hot Skull takes place in the middle of a global pandemic. The world fears a contagious disease that transfers through audio. People affected will start rambling endlessly, slowly forgetting who they are. People will turn to ramblers if they are exposed to rambling, so people live their lives wearing noise-canceling headphones. The government has taken advantage of the chaos and uses the pandemic to control its citizens. In a world without a cure, hope falls to Murat, the only person immune to the disease. Now the race is on to find a cure before the government silences Murat forever.
I enjoyed Hot Skull, but it isn’t without its faults. The series looks great and has a decent story, but some poorly written speeches were hard to sit through. It wasn’t bad enough to give up on the series, but I did zone out a few times. You notice it a lot whenever it deals with the peaceful protest group, but you can always skip around.
What I liked about this series is how it criticizes authoritarian governments. Hot Skull does a good job of showing how the government took advantage of the situation. Travel becomes restricted, curfews are set in place, the public narrative is heavily edited, and the government is not afraid to use excessive violence on what they consider to be dissidence. Civil unrest brews in the shadows because people no longer have control of their lives. I just wish they did a better job with the rebels. The group seems a bit lazily written and only exists to move the plot forward at points.
I enjoyed Murat as a protagonist. Murat is the only person who is immune to the disease, but he spends his time in hiding. As he becomes exposed to the cold reality around him, he becomes more involved in the revolution. It is cool to see his transformation as he becomes more active in finding a cure. His transition to heroism may not be fluid, but it was well enough for what this is.
The only complaint I have about this series is that it slows down halfway through. As Murat gets more active about his role in the pandemic, the series gets bogged down with a lot of revolutionary ideology that I didn’t have much interest in. It might be a translation issue, but there are a lot of sappy speeches about freedom and martyrs I didn’t care for either. The pacing picks up eventually, but not until I was ready to give up on the series.
Overall, the series stands pretty well. There was a good amount of suspense and tension. It handled a lot of its themes and criticism well. It may not be the best story, but it will pass the time. While I don’t see myself rewatching this series or waiting for a second season, I’m glad I watched it. I’d say that if you like the zombie genre and want to see something different, give this series a try. It’s better than the recent resident evil movies. Otherwise, wait till you have nothing to watch.
It is available for streaming on Netflix.
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Movie Review: Underwater (2022)
Underwater was a stressful endeavor that I recommend to those seeking a solid horror movie you can stream from the comfort of your home. While it may not be perfect, it has far exceeded my expectations. If your heart isn’t racing by the end of this movie, then you were probably watching something different.
Through our ever-growing hubris, humanity has begun to mine the ocean floor for its resources. This impossible task is engineered by a corporation with a mysterious agenda. An enormous mining operation sits at the bottom of the ocean floor until disaster rattles at its security. The rig begins to fail, forcing its few survivors to scramble for the surface. But their only chance sits miles away. They must venture into the dark ocean and hope their supplies don’t run out. But there is something evil swimming in the darkness. Will they ever get to see the surface again?
I liked this movie a lot. The suspense was well-built, the acting was solid, and the story was fine for what it is. It does follow the familiar formula that other movies in this genre do, but the execution was good enough that it didn’t matter. My only real complaint about this movie is that there are some confusing scenes. These scenes are dark, poorly rendered, or very shaky. I would have to sit and wait for the scene to finish to understand what just happened. This might have been done deliberately in an effort to emulate what the survivors were feeling, but it didn’t always work. It wasn’t bad enough to ruin the experience, but it is something I have to mention.
One thing I do recommend if you choose to watch this movie is to avoid the trailer because it contains spoilers. It is not a huge deal because you can probably guess what is going to happen as you watch the movie, but it is something to consider if you care about spoilers. I will include the trailer below because I always do, but you have been warned.
It has been a while since I have sat through a movie that has left me this stressed out about life. Yes, the plot was predictable, but I didn’t care because I was enjoying the ride. If you are looking for a solid survival horror movie, go stream Underwater on Hulu.
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Series Review: The Mosquito Coast (2021)
The Mosquito Cove is quite possibly the most boring and preachy thriller I have seen this year. The series has two seasons, but I couldn’t gather the strength to finish the second one. I try my hardest to finish everything I review, but this one proved too much for me.
The series focuses on a family of fugitives on the run from the US government. We don’t know what they did to become outlaws, but you will get clues throughout the series to figure it out. The family flees to Mexico where now they are also being hunted by one of the cartels. Trouble seems to be the only constant in their lives, and they seem to be running out of places to hide. This life puts a great strain on the family, and they keep finding it harder to want to keep going. Will they ever find a safe place to call home, or will their dark secrets catch up and destroy them?
There are some interesting concepts in this show that I wish were explored better. I like that there is a dark mystery that follows the family and causes friction between them. The parents did something bad in their past, but no one is saying what that is. The kids grow suspicious of the parents and each day become more defiant. You get the sense that the dad might be the bad guy, but this narrative takes too long to unravel, and I lost interest. I like the idea of having the protagonist be the bad guy so that we, the audience, can slowly learn to hate him along with the family. It would be interesting to be trapped like this family, knowing they should leave but have nowhere to go because of the situation. The series does attempt to touch on this idea, but it isn’t done well.
Eventually, you find out that the parents are wanted, environmental terrorists. This isn’t a spoiler; this series is pretentious about its environmentalism and anti-consumerism messaging. Every episode has at least two speeches about how humanity is destroying the planet or some anti-establishment criticism. It is tiresome. I don’t mind this type of messaging and believe them to be important, but not when it’s this abrasive. It is hard to have to constantly sit through a dull lecture when I was promised a thriller.
The pacing is a huge problem for this series. This story drags without ever getting to the point. As a result, there isn’t enough urgency or suspense for this series to work. I found myself mostly waiting around for anything interesting to happen. I kept hoping this family would get caught so I didn’t have to suffer through this series any longer, but the villains proved too incompetent.
The Mosquito Cove lacks the stakes needed to be considered a thriller. Anytime the family gets into trouble, whether they are being chased by the cartel or caught by the FBI, they easily escape through poorly written ex-Machina. This series likes to pretend to be technical and realistic but bends the rules of reality to allow the family a chance to escape. This isn’t even a family of highly trained spies. Instead, this is a normal family fumbling through the sloppiest of escapes.
I wish this series had the courage to kill off one of the characters. It would make for a better story to have the family deal with death on top of the danger. If one of the kids died, the dad would have to live with the guilt as he continues trying to hold his family together. The mother and the surviving sibling would want to leave but find themselves in a situation where escaping isn’t an option. It would create this crazy dynamic where they need each other to survive, but the grief has since split them apart. Honestly, anything would have been more interesting to watch than what this show actually is.
I couldn’t make it through the second season. It was clear this series wasn’t going to get better, and I have since run out of patience. You can stream this on Apple TV if you have a subscription, but I wouldn’t bother.
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Movie Review: Amsterdam (2022)
When I watched the trailer for Amsterdam, I believed it would be an okay movie. I figured it would be something you could throw on when you don’t really want to pay attention while being entertaining enough to pass the time. It has a solid cast, and it is based on a true story. I was wrong in my initial prediction because Amsterdam is a dull movie that you shouldn’t watch.
The movie is about three strangers who are brought together by war. They make a pact to always be there for each other. For a time, they live a happy fantasy in Amsterdam. Circumstance pulls them apart until the day fate reunites them in America. Burt and Harold are accused of a murder they didn’t commit. They must now come together and solve this crime or face false prosecution. Can they do it in time and save the country? Yes, they do. This movie is based on a true story. Read the wiki instead.
The movie didn’t leave an impression. I have already forgotten what this movie is about, and I sit here struggling to write a proper review. This film is a poorly told reimagining of a better story. Essentially, this film is a collection of people being quirky when they are supposed to be solving a murder. As a result, this movie lacks all urgency. The characters have a clear deadline, but they spend a lot of time fooling around.
This isn’t a difficult mystery to solve. You will know who the bad guy is as soon as he walks into the scene. They don’t do a great job setting him up as a bad guy, leaving the big reveal at the end to be a huge disappointment. Without the urgency or suspense, there is nothing driving this movie. I couldn’t get invested because I knew everything would be okay in the end.
My biggest issue with this movie is how it whitewashes the hardships African-Americans faced during this period. Any hardship that black characters face in this movie is always easily quelled by a convenient white savior. I don’t even want to get into the terrible and shameful virtue signaling that was a constant throughout this movie. This lack of real adversity leaves the audience with a weak story and an even weaker ending. The big moment when Harold and Valerie choose to be together knowing the dangers involved isn’t the powerful moment it should have been because there isn’t any tangible danger. I know they will be okay because everyone seems to be supportive and they will get the help they need to live together in peace. I didn’t care for this relationship because it was forced and pandering
Don’t waste your time on this movie, even if you can watch it for free. It isn’t worth it.
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Series Review: Inside Man (2022)
Inside Man has become my new obsession. If you don’t fall in love with this quirky murder thriller, we did not watch the same show. Stop reading and go watch this show now.
The series is like a quirky version of The Silence of the Lambs. Stanley Tucci plays a brilliant man on death row who can solve any mystery. The series focuses on his latest job where he must help a reporter find her missing friend. Janice has been locked in a basement, and her time is running out. Will they be able to find her before her time runs out?
I loved this show. The acting is fantastic, the story is fun, and it was the perfect length for a series. The series is structured as a mystery that only Stanley Tucci can solve. The show will constantly cut between the crime and Stanley Tucci trying to solve it. My only complaint is that Stanley Tucci’s character is a bit too omnipotent as he can solve the mystery with the smallest amount of clues, but it is fun to watch him work through it. It is fair to say that every character in this series is a bit exaggerated for satire, but it is done brilliantly. The cast give a fantastic performance and I urge you to watch this show based on this fact alone. I dare you to hate any of these characters, morality aside of course. I’m afraid I can’t do a deeper dive because I am afraid that I will ruin the experience.
The story is a bit ridiculous as it constantly escalates toward its finale, but it is a good story nonetheless. I believe it is meant to act as a metaphor for the lengths that people will go to under the crippling pleasures of desperation. It isn’t meant to be a dive into human pathology, but rather to satirize the genre.
This series is a small commitment and one that you can knock out in a sitting. You don’t need to know extensive lore, and there isn’t much filler to pad the time. This series proves that you can tell a good story in a little bit of time. I hate watching series that are stretched out because big streaming wants you to sit on your couch longer. Not every show needs to be 10 episodes with multiple seasons. Tell your story in as long as it takes, and leave.
This is the fun series that you need in your life. Go stream it on Netflix.
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Movie Review: Barbarian (2022)
In a surprising and satisfying conclusion to the Halloween season, I watched Barbarian and loved it. This fantastic and thrilling film is perfect for the next time you are in the mood for some solid horror. While I am glad I didn’t watch it in theaters, this is a great movie to stream from the comfort of your own home.
Tess books an Airbnb only to find that the property has been double booked. She finds a strange man named Keith who has already made himself at home. With no other option available, Tess decides to spend the night and deal with the management in the morning. The situation is uncomfortable at first, but Tess eventually begins to find comfort in the situation. But there is something ominous lurking in the shadows that slowly begins to eat away at this newfound confidence. What is this presence that haunts Tess? Is it Keith? Is it Ghosts? You will need to watch to find out.
This movie is fine. It is a lot better than a lot of the horror I saw this season. The acting is great, the story is decent, and it had a generally creepy tone that had me properly on edge. It might not be the best story, but it is a solid experience.
I liked the structure of the movie. The movie jumps between a few different stories that all neatly come together at the end. There are some parts that feel fragmented and rushed, but it stands as a solid example of how complex narrative can be. I also liked that the backstories didn’t drag on for too long. It is always frustrating to watch a horror movie that is mostly backstory or set up, with only the last thirty minutes or so dedicated to any meaningful horror. Barbarian is able to create an interesting story while holding onto a general creepy tone. My only issue is with the ending. The events unfold a bit too quickly and cartoonishly. It wasn’t enough to ruin the experience, but it is a fact that holds the movie back.
All in all, Barbarian is a solid horror movie. It doesn’t set out to redefine the genre, but it sits comfortably within it. You can stream it now on HBO.
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