Tag Archives: thriller

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: All the Old Knives (2022)

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All the Old Knives is a new movie on Amazon. It is supposed to be this suspenseful mystery about a detective trying to find the traitor, but all that is uncovered is deep disappointment.  

The poster has you believe that you will get a murder mystery type movie, where the main character goes around investigating the different people involved. You don’t. The whole movie is a long-drawn-out conversation between two people who share absolutely no chemistry. There are flashbacks mixed in to give the movie variation, but they are pointless and add nothing to the plot. This movie uses most of its run time on a conversation that slowly builds to an obvious and disappointing twist. All the Old Knives fails at creating any tension, suspense, or mystery. Without these, the plot doesn’t work.

For this movie to work, it needs more moving parts. The whole movie is a conversation between two people. A conversation that merely summarizes events that don’t matter. It is easy to figure out what this movie is building up to early on. When the big reveal happens, I think disappointing is too nice a word. I wanted to break things. There should have been more narratives to keep the audience guessing. Anything to keep the audience invested in the mystery. The twist is garbage and they should change it. Anything is better than what they chose and I stand by this statement. Even comedies like Clue or Murder Mystery understand how to create a more effective mystery. 

This movie is missing the essential components needed for the plot to work. Skip it. If you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Amazon with a Prime Membership.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The King’s Man (2021)

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I am not a huge fan of the series. Each movie in this series seems to miss its mark somehow, leaving us with a mediocre franchise. Kingsmen: The Secret Service has some decent action but the villain and story are bad. Kingsmen: The Golden Circle had a great villain, but the story and action were lacking. The Kings Man was bad all around and shouldn’t have been made. I can only assume that Kingsman: The Blue Blood will continue this trend of disappointing its audience.

While I do believe that the alternate history angle is creative, its execution is another generic action movie with a history lesson full of misinformation. This movie tries desperately to create lore for an IP that already doesn’t have a good story. Instead of an action-packed thriller, you get a boring back story and family drama.

What is sad is that this movie has some cool moments, but they only lead to further disappointment. Whenever this movie builds any momentum, it only devolves into any generic action movie you shouldn’t waste your time on. There is a cool scene in this movie where Conrad goes over the trenches to retrieve some intel from a fallen solder somewhere in the middle. They encounter a group of German soldiers who are doing the same thing. They can’t shoot for fear that they will be fired upon so they all draw bats and axes and ready for quiet close-quarter combat. It is a very cool shot, and I appreciated the costumes, weapons, and the desolate field. The build-up to this scene is perfectly tense, but the fight starts and it’s boring. The camera shakes around, and everyone dies before you even know what is going on. It was such a waste of a cool shot, but the perfect summary for this movie.

The best part about this movie is Rasputin. He is such a great character, it is a shame that he is wasted in this movie. His character is unique and quirky, and his fight scene is creative and so much fun to watch. I only wish that the rest of this movie carried the same energy and creativity as this fight scene. It isn’t worth you sitting through the whole movie, however, so I will leave a link to the scene below.

You shouldn’t waste your time with this movie. It doesn’t add anything to the franchise, but you can watch it on HBO if you have time to waste and a subscription to burn through.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Lantern’s Lane (2021)

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Do not waste your time on this terrible movie. The camera work, the plot, the acting, and the big reveal are irredeemably bad. There is nothing worth watching in this movie.

Lantern’s lane is about a girl who returns to her rural home town where she reunites with friends from high school. Bitter that she hasn’t returned, her friends attempt to play a prank on her by scaring her. Things turn sour when a killer starts hunting them instead. The mom and daughter from the opening scene are the killers. This movie spoils its ending in the first five minutes of play time with its terrible acting and camera work. Lantern’s Lane is a great example of a filmmaker who is trying way too hard to be symbolic. This movie is full of obvious foreshadowing that ruins any tension that this movie could have had. Not that anything of note ever happens. It takes a whole hour before the horror element comes into play, but it doesn’t matter because you already know who the killer is.

Instead, you are forced to sit through terribly read high school drama no one asked for. I don’t know which is worse, the acting or the writing. I don’t think anyone involved with the making of this movie has ever talked to a real person before. The dialogue in this movie is unreal. You can mash your keyboard right now, and the outcome would be better dialogue.

And the editing of this movie? I don’t think there is a single scene in this movie that isn’t a collection of shots lazily pieced together. There are more cuts in a scene of simple dialogue than there are in an MCU fight scene. Disney cuts fight scenes to hide the fact that the actors can’t fight. This movie does it to hide the fact that they can’t act. There are moments of dialogue where there is a 5-second delay before an actor responds to what was just said. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actors weren’t competent enough to remember simple dialogue. 

Don’t waste your time with this movie. Even if you like watching bad movies for fun, there’s nothing here for you. It isn’t worth sitting through because nothing happens. You don’t even get to see anyone die. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Hulu.

Series Reviews

TV Series Review: Utopia (2020)

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Utopia is an appropriate pandemic thriller that I believe everyone should be watching. It has tension, suspense, action, John Cusack; what more can you ask for? I have not seen the original British version, so I don’t know how this compares. Instead, I will be basing this review only on the American version, streaming now on Amazon Prime.

Utopia is about a group of nerdy, regular people who stumble upon a huge conspiracy. Someone has weaponized diseases and is using them against people. Through a series of comics, this group of average Joe’s pieces together clues that will hopefully save humanity. I love that this show isn’t about extraordinary people destined to save the world. These protagonists are flawed. Although they are smart, they are not highly trained and, for the most part, are frightened about the whole situation. I am excited to see how this group grows as they continue to deal with adversity.

I don’t want to get into too many specifics because the mystery that shrouds this show is what makes it fun. Utopia does a great job of keeping the audience guessing. Every new clue or new bit of information adds to this fun and exciting experience. I can’t wait for season 2.

If you love tense and exciting mysteries full of action and conspiracy, check out Utopia! I am confident it has a little something for everyone. Watch it on Amazon Prime!

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Pig (2021)

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You need to watch this movie! On paper, it doesn’t seem interesting, but in execution it is magnificent. Nicholas Cage shows the world his talent as an actor as he searches Portland for his missing pig. The plot of this movie is a lot more tame version of John Wick. Do not let the tame and subdued tone this movie takes dissuade you; it tells a very thrilling story. It is an exciting and engaging story, and Nick Cage doesn’t even throw a single punch.

The acting in this movie is great, resulting in some very moving and emotional scenes. A bit of warning, this movie is quiet. There is a lot of silence, but it is used effectively to create tension and suspense. If you are not at the edge of your seat through this whole ordeal, we didn’t watch the same movie.

If you have Hulu, watch it now! You won’t regret it.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Minority Report (2002)

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Here is a classic I believe that everyone should watch. The movie is a crime action set in the future. There is suspense, drama, and some great performances. In this movie, they have created a way to see crimes before they occur. Tom Cruise is accused of a precrime and now races against the clock to clear his name. You get thrilling chase scenes, crazy suspense, and some pretty awesome betrayal.

Please note that this is an older movie, and the CGI has not aged very well. Although it is not unwatchable, some scenes look dated and ugly.

But the visuals should not be a deterrent; the story is amazing. I love the arguments this movie makes about free will. If the precogs can accurately see the future, then everything we do is predetermined. If everything is predetermined, then we have no free will. We are merely playing out our programming. It brings into question how many choices we as humans have when it comes to our lives. Can we change our destiny? You will have to watch and come to your conclusions.

Watch this movie! It still holds up. I have seen this movie multiple times and it is still an exciting experience. Best of all, you can watch it free on YouTube!

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Good Time (2017) Review

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If you want to know what it means to be anxious, watch this movie. The tension, the acting, the suspense and the pacing will have you at the edge of your seat as you watch bad decision after bad decision being made. To put it simply, you get to feel what it is like to be truly cornered by an inescapable fate and it is an amazing ride.

The movie follows Connie Nikas who is on the run from the law after a bank robbery goes wrong. Now he must avoid getting caught as he tries his hardest to get his brother out of custody. His brother gets caught after they robbed the bank. Now it is a race against time.  What makes this movie amazing is how it creates tension through small details that constantly present themselves as he tries to stay hidden. It is clear early on that this isn’t going to be easy for Connie, and it shouldn’t be. While on the run, Connie will pass multiple cops who are currently hunting him down. You learn that Connie is kind of a piece of shit, and you learn through his failed attempts to find asylum that he has no where to go. What do you do when you have no where to hide? You run! And there is a lot of running in this movie. This is a high octane; high tension movie and you will have no choice but to echo the small sighs of relief and respite that Connie finds through out his journey. And these moments are few and become more far in between as he digs himself deeper and deeper into trouble.

As a character, Connie is brilliant. He only cares about two things, himself and his brother and it is echoed throughout the movie as he does whatever it takes to get his brother back. He does so even if it means hurting and using both the people he knows and strangers. Connie is smart, despite his continually making bad decisions. When faced with a problem, he is quick to make decisions. The lies he forms, the quick change in appearance, how easily he seems to move from one problem to the next suggest that he is a veteran at his craft. But he is not the traditional cool headed, or even hot-headed action hero thief as seen in similar films. As he gets more and more cornered, you see him start to break. You can see the toll the chase is taking on him. He is tired, he is thirsty, he is desperate and that makes him human. Being human is important because it adds to the tension in the film. You feel that at any moment, his journey will end with one mistake. And as his journey progresses, you can see that he is learning from it. The key is that through all this chaos, he does experience personal growth and he ends up at the end of the movie changed by the outcome, even if it isn’t the traditional bad ass that we have become accustomed to. Robert Pattinson’s performance alone should be reason to watch the film.

If you haven’t seen this movie, I would definitely recommend it. If you saw Uncut Gems and liked it, then you should watch the far better older brother. It’s a great movie for those who love thrillers but are tired of the same tired formula.