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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Morbius (2022)

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I had completely forgotten about this movie, and after watching this movie, I understand why. This unimpressive addition to the MCU should have been left as an uninspired pitch on the story board. This movie fails to set itself apart from any generic bargain bin action movie despite its fancy packaging. While the acting might set it apart from complete mediocrity, its narrative fails to inspire the least bit of intrigue. 

The movie follows a sickly doctor who is obsessed with finding a cure for his life-threatening ailment. His desperation for a cure leads his research to unethical avenues. His obsession finally pays off when he finds the cure. Unfortunately, the cure transforms him into a monster with an uncontrollable thirst for blood. Now he must find a way to quell his hunger without succumbing to his monstrous desires. 

Do not let the aesthetics of this movie blind you to the fact that at its core, this movie is a shallow addition to the MCU. The story is bland, the villain is boring, and the love interest is unnecessary. I believe a more appropriate term for this movie would be forgettable. I find it near impossible to remember what happened in this movie despite having just seen it.  Do yourself a favor, watch one of the better MCU movies.  

I found this movie free on YouTube, but even as free content I felt it was a waste of time. I’ve seen enough movies to know that this is one of those lazy plots that gets reskinned every year in an attempt to make a quick buck. It is frustrating, but it is the nature of the business. It is better forget about the existence of this  unremarkable movie than to have to sit through even a minute of it.  

Series Reviews

Obi-Wan Kenobi(2022) Initial Thoughts

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I am sure most of you have already seen the new expansion to the Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi, that was just released on Disney+. For those still on the fence, I think waiting for more episodes might be a good play. While the acting and action are fine, It does little to set itself apart from anything else you’ve already seen. So far, Kenobi doesn’t offer anything new to the Star Wars universe. Instead, the show reinforces facts fans already know. If you’ve seen the movies, you know Kenobi feels guilt about Anikan’s fate. This show follows Kenobi as he deals with this guilt. The show also offers some obvious insight into characters that are already established. 

I wish Disney would write stories that focused on other narratives and other characters in the Star Wars universe. There are so many books and games that expand the lore, yet they continue to dish out the same narrative. I appreciate that they are attempting to keep the IP alive, but I need some variation. Kenobi feels like it is going to be another narrative of a fallen hero moving through his redemption arc, and I can only hope they make it interesting.  

The show is fine, although I wasn’t impressed. The new city is neat, the acting for the most part is fantastic, the music is amazing,  and there are some pretty solid action scenes.  My only complaint is that they settle for another babysitting plot. It is hard not to compare it to The Mandalorian because it becomes a similar story, which defiantly swayed my reception of the series. The Mandalorian does it better. Unless Kenobi can effectively expand on the universe, I fear it might become another shameless cash grab. It is a shame because Disney has proven its competence at creating interesting expansions to the lore. Star Wars: Rebels is a fantastic example of a series that introduces new and interesting characters and also properly expands on the universe without heavily relying on well-known characters. I can still cling to the hope that this show will be good because they have done it before, but I will have to wait till Friday to know for sure.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Bob’s Burgers Movie (2022)

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The Bob’s Burgers Movie is a delightful and wholesome experience that I recommend to everyone. It is full of singing, dancing, and laughter, and it is a much-appreciated addition to the series. While I don’t believe the theater experience is necessary, I am glad to have seen it in theaters.

Bob’s Burgers is one of my favorite animated series. I have re-watched this show more times than I would like to admit. I was rightfully excited when I learned about this movie and my excitement has been properly reciprocated. I was skeptical about this movie, fearing that there would be changes made in order to capture a more general audience. I am relieved that the animators worked tirelessly to create a story that is not only true to the spirit of the series but expands on it as well.

This cute little murder mystery is one of the better ones to be released recently. Although you might figure out who the killer is early on, it won’t matter because of how much fun this movie is. The singing, dancing, and pageantry all work in conjunction with a very fun and interesting narrative. While the singing and animation aren’t on par with something you expect from Disney, it is fantastic in its own way. There are a lot of laughs to be had in this movie, and if you are a fan, even more so. I hope that this movie is canonical because there are some important moments of character growth that as a long-time fan left me teary-eyed with joy.

If you are a fan, you probably already watched it. It is full of Easter eggs and nods that will make you appreciate the attention to detail put into this film. Do not be discouraged if you have never seen the show before. Although you will miss out on some of the nuances and jokes, the story works well enough on its own that you will understand what is going on. You will still laugh, you will still cry, and you will even want to start watching a show you should already be watching.

This is a fantastic movie that truly captures what has made the Belcher family a staple in American pop culture. If you are a long-time fan, it will provide some very important insight into the Belcher family. Go watch this in theaters!

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Top Gun: Maverick(2022)

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This is a fantastic movie that you need to see in theaters. While I believed that this film was going to be another shameless attempt at cashing in on our nostalgia, I was properly impressed by an experience that I can only describe as breathtaking. This is not a vanity project by a self-absorbed actor, but a passion project by a man who revitalized my faith in reboots. Top Gun: Maverick earns its ticket price, and if you aren’t watching it in theaters, you are doing it wrong. 

Top Gun: Maverick is set after the events of the first movie. Maverick has been reassigned to train a new class of pilots for an impossible mission. Maverick is the only pilot for the job, but he must learn to overcome the demons of his past or risk the lives of the pilots he has in his hands.

This movie is as pro-America as you expect. Every scene is dripping in American flags, but it is an aesthetic fitting of the narrative. There is also plenty of references to the first movie expertly woven throughout this film, but they only serve as nods to the fans of the first movie. You do not need to see the first movie to understand this movie, they do a fantastic job at catching up the audience. The weakest part of this movie is the romantic plot, but it isn’t enough to ruin the movie. Jennifer Connelly sort of just exists in this movie, but her presence is very much appreciated. I wish they had done more with her character, but then it would take away from all the cool airplane stuff.

The best part of the movie has to be everything involving the jets. The dog fights will have you clutching at your seat, ripping away at the material. The flight scenes will have your heart racing, as you watch airplanes do seemingly impossible feats. Watching this movie in theaters is mandatory. Watching the planes on the big screen while feeling the vibrations of the engines make it a powerful experience. 

I particularly liked the evolution of Maverick’s character. While still plays by his own rules, age and experience have changed him. While some of it may be self-serving, it is nice to see a hero that isn’t stoic and emotionless. I enjoyed watching him work through his demons and grow as a character. It makes his character interesting, and it gives the movie a depth I didn’t expect from an action movie. 

You need to watch this movie, and it has to be in theaters! 

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Gone Tomorrow (2017)

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Gone Tomorrow is the uninteresting thriller you will probably forget watching. While there isn’t anything objectively bad about this movie, it doesn’t have the presence needed to make it work. It feels like a lesser unintended Taken reboot, but I would much rather be watching Taken. This movie is about a group of stoic brothers who are searching for their missing niece. They will stop at almost nothing to get her back from a mysterious and insidious organization. This movie doesn’t deserver more details.  

The acting is fine, the story hits all the mandatory action movie tropes, but the villains don’t exist. There is so much emphasis on showing how cool the heroes are that they forget to spend any time on the villains. The henchmen are reprehensibly sad men who are slaves to a system, but are negligible at best when it comes to actually affecting the narrative. The main villain will make his few stale appearances throughout the movie, but honestly, I forgot he existed. The only indication of the villain’s malice is that he is willing to rape and kill without cause or reason. Movie makers, you can have an interesting villain without him being a rapist.  

I’ll keep saying it, you can’t have a hero without an interesting villain. The hero’s intentions may be pure and his actions just, but without any tangible adversities, his narrative doesn’t matter. A good action movie has tension, adversity, and a capable adversary. There is no point in watching an action movie that has no stakes. The exception to the rule is if the action is fun, but that isn’t the case here either. 

The film makers try to complicate the plot by making the henchmen more human. They regret their actions, but are slaves to the organization they work for. There is also an obvious twist that is thrown in that only slows down the movie.  Most of the time you are just watching a stoic man walk from one scene to the next, waiting for him to inevitably find the baby. 

It isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen. The acting is fine, but we’ve all seen this movie done better elsewhere. If you are going to throw this on and not pay attention, it is decent background noise. Don’t go out of your way to watch this, even if you are starving for new content. You can find it free on YouTube.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

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I really wanted to like this movie because the mixed media style is great. Unfortunately, the interesting style does not hide how uninteresting and cliché this movie is. If you have to sit down and watch it with your kids, you will lose interest but there are worse movies out there.  

The movie treats Chip and Dale as actors dealing with the aftermath of their career in their hit cartoon. Dale still clings to his past, attempting to revitalize his career and be able to see his friends again. Chip has moved on and attempts to live a normal life as a insurance salesman. Both are brought together as an evil gang has been enslaving cartoons and using them to produce knockoff movies. The thrill of the mystery revitalizes a broken friendship and is the focus of this movie.  

This movie isn’t all bad. There are some fun visual gags and puns that made me laugh, and I thought the way they mixed different animation styles was brilliant. Unfortunately, the story is uninspired and lazy. Gags will go on a little too long, the voice acting is inconstant, and the interactions between real people and the toons is always awkward. This movie also tries desperately to be meta, but these jokes only highlight the blaring flaws of this movie.  

John Mulaney isn’t a good choice for this movie. His voice acting in this movie is stiff, and took me out of the movie. It is jarring to have him aside Andy Samberg because their energies never match. Samberg is fantastic, but no one in this movie is able to bring the same energy he does to their performance. I know that Chip is supposed to be this stale character to contrast Dale’s bubbly nature, but Mulaney’s  performance is too stale to be entertaining. There is a catalogue of fantastic voice actors who would have been a better choice, but instead they chose to be disappointing. 

There is a moment in this movie where the characters poke fun at how cliché the plot is, I think that was valid criticism. This movie never surprises or tries anything interesting outside of the art style and it doesn’t pay off. You get the same buddy cop comedy you’ve seen way too many times but this time there are cartoons in it. There are better examples in the genre, I suggest you watch those instead.  

Look if you have to sit through this for your kids, it isn’t going to kill you. You will probably lose interest, but it isn’t the worst kids movie out there. I assume the kids this movie was made for will enjoy it more than I did. The whole time I was watching this, I was wishing I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit or even either of the Sonics. If you are interested, it is available for streaming on Disney+. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Perfect Guy (2022)

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This was a very forgettable romantic comedy that tries a little too hard to be quirky. I couldn’t find any information about this movie, even on the lead’s (Kate Micucci) IMDb page. This might be an indication that this movie was meant to be buried, but I was the unfortunate soul that unearthed it. If you like quirky and wholesome comedy, this movie might be salvageable, but it is so slow and cringeworthy that I would caution against it.  

The Perfect Guy is about Emma who doesn’t trust men. Her ex-boyfriend left her, stealing her billion dollar idea for an app about stars. Because of this betrayal, the only deep male relationships she can have are with her cat and dog. She wishes that her pets could be men she could trust. Through the power of astrology, her wish comes true. Now her cat and dog must adapt to being human while they try to help Emma through her emotional turmoil. There is also a romantic subplot between Emma and a repair man, but it is brushed to the side to till the end. 

The writing for this movie is awful. A lot of the dialogue is awkward, contributing to a lot of the stiff acting. The story is dull. You sit through some awkward dates, humans doing pet stuff, and more awkward conversations with very little humor or intrigue in-between. There are some moments that made me chuckle, but there aren’t enough to make the experience better. This movie tries too hard to lean into the leads awkwardness, but fails to capture any of her charm.  

I will say that the actors who play the human pets are the best part of this movie. They have a lot of fun with their roles and do the best with what they are given. Unfortunately, Kate Micucci isn’t a strong enough actor to make this movie work. I have no problem with Kate Micucci, I’ve liked some of her work in the past, but she fits a very specific niche and unfortunately this movie isn’t it. That said, it is difficult to decern if the problem lies within the poorly script or the acting ability of the cast.  

The Perfect Guy is the awkward fairy tale you will forget watching. You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t really worth the trouble. It isn’t a terrible movie, but there are better things you can be doing with your time.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Grind (2003)

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Grind is a pleasantly nostalgic movie about skateboarding. The tricks are sick and story is pretty decent. If you grew up skating in the 90’s, you will probably understand more of it than I did. If you didn’t, you will still enjoy this fun underdog story. It is a story that has stood the test of time and will continue to do so.  

The movie follows a group of friends from Chicago who dream of being pro skaters. During their summer before college, they follow the pro skating scene with the hope of being discovered. All they want is a chance to prove themselves, will they be able to make it? 

I can tell that the film makers consulted a lot of skaters for this movie. A lot of skating scenes really highlight the sport. It truly feels like a love letter to skating. I love that this movie takes skate breaks. These breaks feel organic and it is really fun to see all the different places people can skate in. The acting and story are fantastic as well, but this movie does skating right! Go watch this movie if you want to get lost in some nostalgia. Or, go watch this movie anyways because it is a good movie.  

Go watch Grind over on YouTube. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Everything and Everywhere All At Once (2022)

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Everything and Everywhere All At Once is my favorite movie of this year. I will even say that it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun with a movie. If you haven’t seen it yet, buy your tickets now! 

Everything and Everywhere All At Once is about a woman named Evelyn who feels stuck in her life. She feels as if she hasn’t accomplished anything with her life and everything seems to be going wrong. She is on the verge of losing her business, her relationship with her daughter is a bit hostile, and she might be getting a divorce. To make matters worse, she is dragged into a multidimensional battle against evil. Now she must overcome her demons and learn to be the hero the Universe needs her to be.  

I love this movie. I love how they deal with the multiple dimensions in a way that is creative and not confusing. With these movies, they either get pretentious or hard to follow, but even if you dare to miss a minute of this movie, you won’t be lost. You don’t need to draw a maps or charts connecting the different multiverses and identities because this movie does a great job explaining everything. You can sit back and enjoy the spectacular ride this movie will take you on.  

I love the characters in this movie. A lot of the magic for this movie comes from the fantastic performances from all the actors. The chemistry, how they switch between the different personalities, and the energy they bring to this movie is palpable infections. If you’ve never clapped at the end of a movie, you might for this one.  

My favorite part of this movie has to be the costume design, specifically for the myriad of costumes for the villain. There are so many costume changes in this movie, and each one is better than the last. I impatiently waited for the universe just so I could see the new costume. Props to the costume department to making the movie look as fun as it felt.  

There are so many costume changes in this movie and each one is more amazing than the last. I waited here is so much fun to be had with this movie that I fear I have not done it justice. It has a great message mixed in-between the multiple universes and it was a delight to experience every bit of it. Please go watch this in theaters if you haven’t done so, and thank me later.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Joe Dirt: A Beautiful Loser (2015)

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Joe Dirt 2 is the sequel no one asked for. It isn’t a direct sequel but rather a painfully unfunny and lazy parody of iconic movies starring Joe Dirt. Someone who I assume was on a lot of drugs thought it would be a fantastic idea to remake iconic movies with a character who wasn’t very funny to begin with. I remember liking the first movie, but I was the target audience at the time. I refuse to watch the movie now because deep down I know that it hasn’t aged well. After seeing this disaster of a sequel, I will let it live in my heart as the experience it was and not soil it with the experience it actually is.
The acting in this movie is terrible. It feels like people just showed up for their paycheck as no one tries remotely to be funny. This might be a symptom of this movie’s terrible script. There aren’t any funny jokes in this movie, just a series of unfunny skits loosely tied together by a framed narrative. This movie is a dream within two framed narratives where Joe learns that he was special the whole time. To illustrate what type of movie this is, there is a five-minute scene where people stand around and fart on Joe Dirt. The rest of the movie is no better as you have to sit through skits that go for way too long hoping the credits will roll to end your misery.
You can find this movie free on YouTube, but don’t bother. It isn’t funny and it isn’t worth your time. This sequel is anything but beautiful.