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Movie Review: Jackass Forever (2022)

If you are a fan of the franchise, you have probably already seen this movie in theaters. If you aren’t, it is the same thing as all the other movies but they introduce new cast members and guest stars. If you are on the fence about this movie, I don’t think the theater experience adds anything to the film. I would hold off till you can have a medium where you can fast forward through the boring bits. There is a lot of filler in this movie where the cast stands around or reacts to the stunts. If you are a die-hard fan you will probably appreciate these bits, but I am not and it got tedious.

As far as the stunts go, a lot of the new pranks revolve around misdirection. A cast member would start a stunt, but the stunt changes midway through unexpectedly. This is a refreshing direction to the series, as it does lead to some funny moments. But like all Jackass films, not all of the stunts are hitters, and there are a few you will want to skip. I am not a huge fan of the animal bits that I wish I could have avoided altogether. They don’t harm the animals, but the animals don’t want to be in this movie.

Overall, the movie is fine if you grew up watching the franchise. I believe this movie is meant to introduce the new cast that will be taking over the series. While the original cast is involved, their involvement is more subdued. There was a bigger emphasis on the new cast members. I would describe the new cast as excitable and ready to take over the franchise, but I don’t have an opinion of whether or not they are worthy. They also have a few celebrity cameos, but they don’t add much to the movie.

This movie is okay, but unless you are a die-hard fan, I wouldn’t rush out to go see it.

YouTube Movie Review: Eragon (2006)

I read the Eragon back in high school, back around the time when the movie was coming out. I loved the book and I remember the excitement I felt about watching the movie. I remember exchanging that excitement for disappointment because the movie didn’t hold the same magic that the book did. I decided that today, I was far enough removed from the book that I would no longer hold that bias. I thought that I would be able to see the movie in a different light. I no longer hold onto that bias, but my opinion about this movie has not changed. I now understand why this movie never got any sequels, and it rightfully shouldn’t.

Eragon is a bad movie. You shouldn’t watch it, even if it is free on YouTube. Eragon is a movie that has gotten worse with age. The acting is mediocre, the CGI is ugly, and the story isn’t interesting. If you are looking for a movie with the same story done better, go watch Star Wars or How to Train Your Dragon. It is a much better use of your time.

What hurts this movie is its pacing and characters. There isn’t enough time spent on world-building or establishing Eragon as a competent hero in training. As a result, Eragon feels arrogant and whiny instead of a kid who is slowly growing to become a hero.

Take Brom’s death for example. Eragon gets a vision about saving Arya. Without discussing it with anyone, he just leaves. Brom dies saving Eragon. Brom’s death is supposed to be emotional and serve as an important moment of growth for Eragon. Instead, it is a frustrating scene because of how incompetent Eragon is as a hero. You might be able to excuse Eragon’s incompetence to the inexperience of youth, but the film doesn’t frame it as such. The whole movie doesn’t frame as anything heroic. He either wins because it’s in the script or people die because he messes up. It is difficult to care about a story where the main character is so unlikable.

I thought watching it for free would make watching this movie easier, but it didn’t. Don’t watch it, especially if you liked the book because you will be disappointed. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

YouTube Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)

Kingpin is fine if you want to throw something on in the background and not have to pay attention to it. It is like any other buddy/sports comedy but with enough charm that you won’t hate the two hours you spend watching it. The story and acting are fine, but the pacing is a little slow. While I did enjoy this film, there were a few places where I lost interest and zoned out.

There isn’t much I can say about this movie as it doesn’t add much to the genre, but it isn’t the worst movie on the platform. If you have nothing to watch or are working on some hobbies, it works perfectly in the background. Other than that, I wouldn’t put any urgency on watching this movie.

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. Trust me when I say you can do a lot worse for free.

YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

YouTube Movie Review: Grumpy Old Men (1993)

Grumpy Old Men is a cute story about friendship and growing old. The movie is about two stubborn old men who can’t let go of their petty grievances. They have grown complacent in their routine and waiting to die. All of this changes when Ann-Margret moves in next door. She helps them move out of their comfort zone and start enjoying life again.

I like this movie a lot. It has a great cast and a sweet story. The chemistry between the cast is what sells this movie. I love their grumpy back and forth. It truly feels like I was watching two old friends. They bicker, play pranks on each other, but they also care enough to check on each other. They care for each other in their own weird way, but they will never admit it. It is a rivalry that exists because neither character wants to admit their wrongs, and it takes Ann-Margaret to help make their friendship stronger.

What this movie does very well is how they deal with old age. Grumpy Old Men addresses a lot of issues that come with growing old. Their friends die, their health is failing, they are lonely, and they aren’t financially secure. These are issues that are part of the experience, and it is sad. You can see that it affects them, but their pride won’t let them admit it. It affects the characters to the point where they stop trying. It is only when they stop living in the past do they begin to enjoy life again and become a lot less grumpy. 

This movie has a simple plot with an amazing journey. You can watch this movie free on YouTube. 

Movie Review: Marry Me

Marry Me is a shamelessly lazy vanity project about a down-to-earth pop star trying to find true love. Don’t waste your time with this movie, it is bad. There is a big unignorable hole in this already shaky plot; there is no way a teacher can afford tickets that close to the stage.

In the movie, JLO and Maluma are world-renowned music sensations who make history with their lazily composed music. They are about to get married on stage at the world’s most anticipated concert until the script complicates things. I looked up BTS tickets because that seemed the most comparable comparison and tickets that close to the stage run around $3000 on ticket master before the fees. That means the tickets to have Owen Wilson that close to the stage would have cost more than $10,000. This being a once-in-a-lifetime event would have made the tickets more expensive. Adele tickets once sold for $78,000. It is fair to assume that these tickets would be unattainable on a teacher’s salary. If there are no tickets, Owen Wilson can’t marry JLO and there is no movie.

But unfortunately, there is a movie and it is bad. I don’t know what is worse, Maluma’s acting or the writing. Whenever the writing hits the wall, they use social media footage as a transition. It is awkward and it slows down an already slow movie.

Let’s be honest, this is JLO’s vanity project. She plays an idealized version of herself. Every bit of JLO’s dialogue is a terribly cheesy speech about love. Acting aside, her fake-deep speeches get insufferable. Every scene exists to show how nice and positive JLO always is despite her hectic lifestyle. JLO might be nice in real life, but this was exaggerated to a fantastical degree. 

 I have seen enough JLO movies to know that she plays the same character in each one. A down-to-earth kind whatever trying to find love, and each time it somehow gets worse. At least in this movie, she is proactive. You add the lazily composed music throughout and this movie becomes even harder to sit through.

This is a lazy and shameless cash grab, do not watch it.

YouTube Movie Review: 10 Things I Hate About You

10 Things I Hate About You is one of those classic high school teen movies everyone has seen. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it. If you have seen it, you can find it free on YouTube. The cast is great, and the story is timeless. I can’t come up with a better sell because there are already a lot of great reviews out there. You will need to trust me when I say that this is a must-watch if you are looking for something to watch.

I’ve watched a lot of teen movies. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of bad teen movies. My issue with bad teen movies is that they try too hard to be flashy and current. It always has the latest slang, the best fashion, and the hottest actors at the moment. In turn, this limits the lifespan of the movie. Lingo and fashion change, and the hottest actors aren’t always the best. The results are movies that look nice but without any substance to them. But every now and then, I stumble on solid teen movies that surprise me. Movies with good actors and compelling narratives. 10 Things I Hate About You is one of these movies.

I will boldly claim that this narrative is timeless. Sure the slang and fashion are dated, but it touches on issues that will always be relevant. Things like dealing with narcissists, being an outcast, being judged based on your looks, and the pressures of trying to fit in are issues that we have all struggled with. These are part of our human experience. I am not saying this is a perfect representation. There are some fairy tale elements to it, but it does a great job of expressing experiences we are all familiar with. This is an important film because of how it handles a confusing and complicated time of our lives.

This is a very good movie. Go watch this movie on YouTube

YouTube Movie Review: Orange County (2002)

Orange County is a very disappointing movie. Do not waste your time on it. It isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s not worth watching. I don’t understand how a movie with such a great cast can be so boring.

Sean is a whiny rich kid from Orange County whose recent dream is to go to Stanford to become a writer. His dream gets complicated by unknown forces that don’t want him to go to Stanford. The whole movie is about Sean trying to get to Stanford to convince the Dean or whoever to reconsider him for admission. Spoilers: he decides not to go after getting in, making the whole adventure pointless.

Orange County isn’t worth your time. The premise and execution are bad. You float from scene to scene not caring about Sean or his problems because Sean doesn’t have the charisma to make this movie work. He doesn’t drive his own story. Instead, the other more interesting characters do so for him. At the end of this movie, Sean is the same person. He doesn’t grow, learn, or do anything except waste your time.

Orange County is a boring adventure about a boring character that ends without any payoff. There are better movies with this exact plot; watch those instead. Don’t waste your time on this movie. You can watch it free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

YouTube Movie Review: Izzy Gets the F Accross Town (2017)

I loved this movie. It has a great cast, a fun story, and an amazing soundtrack. Izzy Gets the F Across Town is the movie to watch if you liked Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. This movie has a similarly weird and spazzy narrative style. I did find its exploration of fate to be a bit pretentious, but I’ll let it slide because I loved the movie.

Izzy Gets the F Across Town is about a girl who tries to get to her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party to break it up. Izzy swears that she is destined to be with her ex, and is constantly sees signs that confirm this belief. Izzy’s journey is full of trials and tribulations as she makes her way across town. This journey forces Izzy to examine her life and work through her demons. It makes for an interesting and creative narrative.

That said, I don’t think this movie is for everyone. The narrative style is hyperactive, the characters are rude, and the plot is a bit pretentious. Its very punk and I loved it. If you love weird existential narratives about self-discovery, you can watch Izzy gets the F Across Town free on YouTube.