Tag Archives: film reviews

Movie Review: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore(2022)

I expected a lot more magic from a movie about wizards. While there are a few scenes that tickle my desire for wizard violence, it is often cut short for political garbage that I didn’t care for. If I wanted to watch a political movie about zealots and corruption, there are better avenues.  

As far as prequels go, I don’t think The Secrets of Dumbledore was necessary. I don’t feel like the Fantastic beasts series really add much to the Harry Potter universe. While I thought the first Fantastic Beasts was fine, The Secrets of Dumbledore feels like a large derailment. Character growth was undone, magic rules are changed, and they took out all the beasts. This is a world where disaster can be done and undone at will, but in this movie we have to sit through procedural nonsense. All I want from my wizard movies is cool wizard battles.  

This movie has a fantastic cast and there are some fun, and some creative fights, but energy is wasted on a dull plot. There is all this build up to an epic fight between good and evil, but the battle isn’t epic. The setup is mostly perfect too, if you ignore the zealot nonsense and the weird dear ritual. There are tense and suspenseful moments as the heroes fight evil. You get a meaningful connection between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, but then the fight is a huge let down. It is outclassed and outshined by earlier less essential fights. Where did this momentum go? Where is all the magic? Where are all the beasts? 

I don’t think knowing any of the secrets added any character to Dumbledore, nor do I think this movie adds anything meaningful to the franchise. I am sure there is an audience for this movie, but this movie wasn’t for me. But what do I know, I am just a casual. You can watch it now on HBO.  

Movie Reviews: Top Gun: Maverick(2022)

This is a fantastic movie that you need to see in theaters. While I believed that this film was going to be another shameless attempt at cashing in on our nostalgia, I was properly impressed by an experience that I can only describe as breathtaking. This is not a vanity project by a self-absorbed actor, but a passion project by a man who revitalized my faith in reboots. Top Gun: Maverick earns its ticket price, and if you aren’t watching it in theaters, you are doing it wrong. 

Top Gun: Maverick is set after the events of the first movie. Maverick has been reassigned to train a new class of pilots for an impossible mission. Maverick is the only pilot for the job, but he must learn to overcome the demons of his past or risk the lives of the pilots he has in his hands.

This movie is as pro-America as you expect. Every scene is dripping in American flags, but it is an aesthetic fitting of the narrative. There is also plenty of references to the first movie expertly woven throughout this film, but they only serve as nods to the fans of the first movie. You do not need to see the first movie to understand this movie, they do a fantastic job at catching up the audience. The weakest part of this movie is the romantic plot, but it isn’t enough to ruin the movie. Jennifer Connelly sort of just exists in this movie, but her presence is very much appreciated. I wish they had done more with her character, but then it would take away from all the cool airplane stuff.

The best part of the movie has to be everything involving the jets. The dog fights will have you clutching at your seat, ripping away at the material. The flight scenes will have your heart racing, as you watch airplanes do seemingly impossible feats. Watching this movie in theaters is mandatory. Watching the planes on the big screen while feeling the vibrations of the engines make it a powerful experience. 

I particularly liked the evolution of Maverick’s character. While still plays by his own rules, age and experience have changed him. While some of it may be self-serving, it is nice to see a hero that isn’t stoic and emotionless. I enjoyed watching him work through his demons and grow as a character. It makes his character interesting, and it gives the movie a depth I didn’t expect from an action movie. 

You need to watch this movie, and it has to be in theaters! 

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Movie Review: The Perfect Guy (2022)

This was a very forgettable romantic comedy that tries a little too hard to be quirky. I couldn’t find any information about this movie, even on the lead’s (Kate Micucci) IMDb page. This might be an indication that this movie was meant to be buried, but I was the unfortunate soul that unearthed it. If you like quirky and wholesome comedy, this movie might be salvageable, but it is so slow and cringeworthy that I would caution against it.  

The Perfect Guy is about Emma who doesn’t trust men. Her ex-boyfriend left her, stealing her billion dollar idea for an app about stars. Because of this betrayal, the only deep male relationships she can have are with her cat and dog. She wishes that her pets could be men she could trust. Through the power of astrology, her wish comes true. Now her cat and dog must adapt to being human while they try to help Emma through her emotional turmoil. There is also a romantic subplot between Emma and a repair man, but it is brushed to the side to till the end. 

The writing for this movie is awful. A lot of the dialogue is awkward, contributing to a lot of the stiff acting. The story is dull. You sit through some awkward dates, humans doing pet stuff, and more awkward conversations with very little humor or intrigue in-between. There are some moments that made me chuckle, but there aren’t enough to make the experience better. This movie tries too hard to lean into the leads awkwardness, but fails to capture any of her charm.  

I will say that the actors who play the human pets are the best part of this movie. They have a lot of fun with their roles and do the best with what they are given. Unfortunately, Kate Micucci isn’t a strong enough actor to make this movie work. I have no problem with Kate Micucci, I’ve liked some of her work in the past, but she fits a very specific niche and unfortunately this movie isn’t it. That said, it is difficult to decern if the problem lies within the poorly script or the acting ability of the cast.  

The Perfect Guy is the awkward fairy tale you will forget watching. You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t really worth the trouble. It isn’t a terrible movie, but there are better things you can be doing with your time.  

Movie Reviews: Grind (2003)

Grind is a pleasantly nostalgic movie about skateboarding. The tricks are sick and story is pretty decent. If you grew up skating in the 90’s, you will probably understand more of it than I did. If you didn’t, you will still enjoy this fun underdog story. It is a story that has stood the test of time and will continue to do so.  

The movie follows a group of friends from Chicago who dream of being pro skaters. During their summer before college, they follow the pro skating scene with the hope of being discovered. All they want is a chance to prove themselves, will they be able to make it? 

I can tell that the film makers consulted a lot of skaters for this movie. A lot of skating scenes really highlight the sport. It truly feels like a love letter to skating. I love that this movie takes skate breaks. These breaks feel organic and it is really fun to see all the different places people can skate in. The acting and story are fantastic as well, but this movie does skating right! Go watch this movie if you want to get lost in some nostalgia. Or, go watch this movie anyways because it is a good movie.  

Go watch Grind over on YouTube. 

Movie Review: Everything and Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Everything and Everywhere All At Once is my favorite movie of this year. I will even say that it is one of my favorite movies of all time. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun with a movie. If you haven’t seen it yet, buy your tickets now! 

Everything and Everywhere All At Once is about a woman named Evelyn who feels stuck in her life. She feels as if she hasn’t accomplished anything with her life and everything seems to be going wrong. She is on the verge of losing her business, her relationship with her daughter is a bit hostile, and she might be getting a divorce. To make matters worse, she is dragged into a multidimensional battle against evil. Now she must overcome her demons and learn to be the hero the Universe needs her to be.  

I love this movie. I love how they deal with the multiple dimensions in a way that is creative and not confusing. With these movies, they either get pretentious or hard to follow, but even if you dare to miss a minute of this movie, you won’t be lost. You don’t need to draw a maps or charts connecting the different multiverses and identities because this movie does a great job explaining everything. You can sit back and enjoy the spectacular ride this movie will take you on.  

I love the characters in this movie. A lot of the magic for this movie comes from the fantastic performances from all the actors. The chemistry, how they switch between the different personalities, and the energy they bring to this movie is palpable infections. If you’ve never clapped at the end of a movie, you might for this one.  

My favorite part of this movie has to be the costume design, specifically for the myriad of costumes for the villain. There are so many costume changes in this movie, and each one is better than the last. I impatiently waited for the universe just so I could see the new costume. Props to the costume department to making the movie look as fun as it felt.  

There are so many costume changes in this movie and each one is more amazing than the last. I waited here is so much fun to be had with this movie that I fear I have not done it justice. It has a great message mixed in-between the multiple universes and it was a delight to experience every bit of it. Please go watch this in theaters if you haven’t done so, and thank me later.  

Movie Review: Firestarter (2022)

This is a poorly executed movie that isn’t worth your time. If you watched this movie in theaters, I hope you received a refund. Firestarter is boring; there is nothing interesting about this movie. Firestarter is a poorly executed horror thriller without any suspense or urgency. The plot is predictable and lazy, and the acting isn’t good enough to make this movie work. I don’t know how it compares to the original, but the original can’t be worse than whatever this is.

There is a lot of build-up in this movie that leads nowhere, yet there isn’t enough worldbuilding to flesh out its universe. I can’t tell you how the powers work or what the difference between each is; all I know is that people will awkwardly stare at each other and special effects wash over everything. It would help if they explanation or guidance so I could care about what is going on, but instead, there is only incompetence.

There is no suspense in this movie. The villains in this movie are negligible at best. They are guided by generic motivations and only seem to appear when the writing hits a wall. When they do show up, they are blown away almost instantly. It is extremely anticlimactic. It would be nice if it felt like Charlie and her family were being pursued by a competent force. It would help make things interesting if the fights were fun. This movie does a great job at making super-powered fights boring. I don’t even want to get into how problematic Rainbird is, but I am deeply offended. 

There are other movies that tackle this story more effectively, seek those out instead. This movie doesn’t deserve your time. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it over on Peacock.

Movie Review: The Competition(2018)

I had to gut this review because every draft before this was too long. I was beginning to nitpick every aspect of this movie out of frustration, but this movie doesn’t deserve it. The Competition is bad and you should avoid it. 

The competition is supposed to be a quirky rom-com about an intelligent woman who views love and relationships scientifically. She creates an arbitrary formula that can predict when a someone will cheat in a relationship, but has never actually tested it. This formula is to the test when she falls in love with a man who was bribed to go out with her. Together they decide to test this formula by trying to trick five different people into cheating on their significant other. The outcome of this test will determine the outcome of their relationship. It is a lot dumber and annoying than you can imagine.  

This writing is terrible, the acting is stiff and awkward, and the plot is pseudoscience garbage. I’m not sure what upsets me more, the lack of science from a movie that desperately tries to convince its audience otherwise, or the irredeemable main characters you are supposed to be rooting for.  

The experiment they have is gross and unethical. This three million dollar idea wouldn’t produce a valid conclusion because the sample size is way too small and the test is heavily skewed to prove her hypothesis. The main character is insufferable. She is cocky and condescending without any real reason other than she’s good at making formulas. The formula behind this whole movie is one with arbitrary variables that she herself gages with a personal scale. This is the dumbest most frustrating movie I’ve seen in a while. It took me multiple breaks to get through this movie and it isn’t worth the trouble. 

You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. 

Movie Review: The Lost City (2022)

I wish Hollywood would stop making these uninspired and lazy movies filled with stars. It is a shameless way to get people to see a film that they would not otherwise consider. While The Lost City isn’t a terrible movie, it is still a shameless cash grab at its core. The Lost City is the kind of movie that loses its charm after viewing it once.

I didn’t hate The Lost City, it is better than whatever Red Notice tried to be, but it isn’t good. Its star-studded cast cannot hide how lazy it is. All the jokes are either body humor, jokes relating to the actor, or dick jokes. It feels like a comedy sketch that goes on too long. While it did make me laugh a few times, I doubt that I will laugh as much the next time around.

I did like that they didn’t push the same traditional roles for the actors. I liked Channing Tatum’s awkwardness and Sandra Bullock’s confidence, but the characters weren’t push far enough. I hated Daniel Radcliffe’s character because he can play a better villain. I get that this is supposed to be a comedy, but a little more effort with the villain might have made me care more about the movie. This plot lacks substance, and as a result, I just sat there waiting for the next dick joke. The best way to describe this movie is disappointing.

I am glad I didn’t watch this in theaters because I would have hated spending money on this. You can stream it now on Paramount Plus.

Movie Review: All We Had (2016)

All We Had is a neat little film you can watch for free on YouTube. It details the struggles of a mother and daughter dealing with their homelessness. The film focuses on their desperation as they search for a normal life. This movie deals with hard topics such as homelessness, transphobia, and substance and sexual abuse. This isn’t a gruesome movie, but I felt a trigger warning was appropriate. A lot of the dark elements of this movie are implied rather than performed.

Overall, I thought this movie was fine. Although it does little to stand out from all the other emotional movies of the genre, I enjoyed it. The acting was fantastic, and the story is fine. If you like emotional and inspiring movies about overcoming adversity, this is a solid choice. Even if you don’t like the genre, you can appreciate the performance.

You can watch this for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

Movie Review: I Still See You (2018)

As far as free teen mystery thrillers go, this one is okay. You will probably forget you watched it after, but there are worse ways to spend two hours. The acting is decent, but both the plot and the twist are predictable. As a teen movie, it hits many of the obligated traps. The edgy brooding teen girl is special because the plot needs her to be. She falls for the mysterious brooding boy because it’s in the script. There are some cheesy moments mixed in throughout because it needs to hit certain story beats. It is better than an average teen movie, but it isn’t winning awards. 

If you do decide to watch this movie, you must suspend all your disbelief. The science is not sound, and the movie will go out of its way to make the plot work. There is a lot of nonsense and inconsistencies in this movie that are hard to ignore because the plot moves so slowly.

I Still See You takes place in Chicago after a catastrophic explosion opens a portal into the spirit world. The dead now roam the world and are visible but intangible to the living. People are doing their best to return to normal life, but it becomes increasingly hard for Bella Thorne. Something is after Bella Thorne, and it is more obvious than you might think.

As far as mysteries go, this one is solvable within the first ten minutes. This might be a symptom of an over-ambitious filmmaker trying too hard to be deep. This movie is littered with clues as it attempts and fails to foreshadow an ending with very little payoff. Either Bella Thorne’s character is truly oblivious or I have been watching too many movies, but the clues aren’t subtle. Either way, whatever suspense and buildup this movie attempts to have wasn’t there for me.

If you are the target audience, you might have a better time with this movie. It isn’t a terrible movie, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. I would throw this on if I wanted something playing in the background but didn’t want to commit or pay all my attention. There are better movies in the genre, but you can do a lot worse for free. You can find it over on YouTube.