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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)

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Kingpin is fine if you want to throw something on in the background and not have to pay attention to it. It is like any other buddy/sports comedy but with enough charm that you won’t hate the two hours you spend watching it. The story and acting are fine, but the pacing is a little slow. While I did enjoy this film, there were a few places where I lost interest and zoned out.

There isn’t much I can say about this movie as it doesn’t add much to the genre, but it isn’t the worst movie on the platform. If you have nothing to watch or are working on some hobbies, it works perfectly in the background. Other than that, I wouldn’t put any urgency on watching this movie.

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. Trust me when I say you can do a lot worse for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: 10 Things I Hate About You

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10 Things I Hate About You is one of those classic high school teen movies everyone has seen. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it. If you have seen it, you can find it free on YouTube. The cast is great, and the story is timeless. I can’t come up with a better sell because there are already a lot of great reviews out there. You will need to trust me when I say that this is a must-watch if you are looking for something to watch.

I’ve watched a lot of teen movies. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of bad teen movies. My issue with bad teen movies is that they try too hard to be flashy and current. It always has the latest slang, the best fashion, and the hottest actors at the moment. In turn, this limits the lifespan of the movie. Lingo and fashion change, and the hottest actors aren’t always the best. The results are movies that look nice but without any substance to them. But every now and then, I stumble on solid teen movies that surprise me. Movies with good actors and compelling narratives. 10 Things I Hate About You is one of these movies.

I will boldly claim that this narrative is timeless. Sure the slang and fashion are dated, but it touches on issues that will always be relevant. Things like dealing with narcissists, being an outcast, being judged based on your looks, and the pressures of trying to fit in are issues that we have all struggled with. These are part of our human experience. I am not saying this is a perfect representation. There are some fairy tale elements to it, but it does a great job of expressing experiences we are all familiar with. This is an important film because of how it handles a confusing and complicated time of our lives.

This is a very good movie. Go watch this movie on YouTube

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Movie Reviews

YouTube Movie Review: Orange County (2002)

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Orange County is a very disappointing movie. Do not waste your time on it. It isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s not worth watching. I don’t understand how a movie with such a great cast can be so boring.

Sean is a whiny rich kid from Orange County whose recent dream is to go to Stanford to become a writer. His dream gets complicated by unknown forces that don’t want him to go to Stanford. The whole movie is about Sean trying to get to Stanford to convince the Dean or whoever to reconsider him for admission. Spoilers: he decides not to go after getting in, making the whole adventure pointless.

Orange County isn’t worth your time. The premise and execution are bad. You float from scene to scene not caring about Sean or his problems because Sean doesn’t have the charisma to make this movie work. He doesn’t drive his own story. Instead, the other more interesting characters do so for him. At the end of this movie, Sean is the same person. He doesn’t grow, learn, or do anything except waste your time.

Orange County is a boring adventure about a boring character that ends without any payoff. There are better movies with this exact plot; watch those instead. Don’t waste your time on this movie. You can watch it free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

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YouTube Movie Review: Izzy Gets the F Accross Town (2017)

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I loved this movie. It has a great cast, a fun story, and an amazing soundtrack. Izzy Gets the F Across Town is the movie to watch if you liked Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. This movie has a similarly weird and spazzy narrative style. I did find its exploration of fate to be a bit pretentious, but I’ll let it slide because I loved the movie.

Izzy Gets the F Across Town is about a girl who tries to get to her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party to break it up. Izzy swears that she is destined to be with her ex, and is constantly sees signs that confirm this belief. Izzy’s journey is full of trials and tribulations as she makes her way across town. This journey forces Izzy to examine her life and work through her demons. It makes for an interesting and creative narrative.

That said, I don’t think this movie is for everyone. The narrative style is hyperactive, the characters are rude, and the plot is a bit pretentious. Its very punk and I loved it. If you love weird existential narratives about self-discovery, you can watch Izzy gets the F Across Town free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Picture This (2008)

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You should not watch Picture This. I don’t even know where to begin with this film. Picture This is a poorly written fantasy of the boring girl getting with the hot guy. It was a struggle getting through this movie, but somehow I found the strength.

Picture This is about a boring high school girl who likes the hottest guy in school. Her only defining characteristic is that she loves the hot guy. Through the power of shitty writing, the hot guy likes her too. The movie is a quest to meet up with the hot boy at the end of the film without her dad finding out. Oh, and the hot boy likes photography. Does that impact the plot? No, but the movie makes a big deal about that, hence the namesake.

This movie is poorly written, it has a decent cast, but they are doing the best they can with what they are given. The whole movie is a series of reactions to the different generic story beats before the girl gets the guy at the end. There are millions of these movies out there, you will forget you watched this too. I can’t name you a single character or attempt to give you any meaningful moments because of how generic this movie is. This movie tries to distract its audience with complicated vocabulary and awkward Chaucer references, but there is no hiding the fact that this is a bad movie.

I know that this is a kids’ movie, and maybe I should give it some slack, but I can not. Your kid’s time is too valuable to be wasted on this movie. Your time is way too valuable. It is free on YouTube, but that price tag is still too high. Skip it.

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YouTube Movie Review: Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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Confessions of a Shopaholic is a very middle-of-the-road movie that doesn’t have much going for it. Sure the cast is great, but the story lacks anything worthwhile. If I am being honest, it is very bland despite it having a colorful obsession. The movie plays like a bad fantasy, and your time is better spent elsewhere.

My biggest issue with this movie is its main character. Isla Fisher does the best she can with what she is given, but her character lacks depth. Rebecca is this Mary Sue character who happens to be addicted to shopping. The way they depict shopping addiction was fun and creative, but that creativity is missing from the rest of the movie. Instead, you have this character that is destined to have a happy ending. The whole world is there to support Rebecca, but they never get the reason as to why. As a result, none of the meaningful moments are earned. It is hard to care about a character who doesn’t face any adversities. Instead, Rebecca faces inconveniences. She doesn’t get the job she wants, but she becomes a world-renowned author with just one article. She finds the love of her life because the script says so. She is even able to settle her crippling debt by selling her junk. This movie ends with Rebecca not learning anything but getting everything she didn’t know she wanted. 

There is a lot more I want to say about this movie, but I don’t want to waste your time with a movie that isn’t worth your time. There are better movies of this genre you can watch instead. But for those of you who are still interested, you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A Good Woman (2004)

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I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a solid cast who give great performances, and the writing is excellent. If you like romance movies, this is a complicated one full of wit, drama, and misunderstandings that’s easy to enjoy. If you are a fan of the 20’s era aesthetic, there is enough in it to satisfy most audiences. If you are only looking for something to watch, I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.

A Good Woman is about a newlyweds trip to Italy. All seems fine until gossip and desire place a strain on their relationship. The movie focuses on a group of social elites who have too much time on their hands. The overall message isn’t wholly universal, but it does address some important topics. The film is an exploration of the relationship between man and woman. What is acceptable differs based on gender. Men can cheat and have mistresses, while women must accept this fact and hate the mistress. A man can’t be friends with a woman, things of that nature. It doesn’t go deep enough, but at least there is an attempt. This movie is framed as a fantasy, so expect a lot of the lessons learned to be superficial. You can only do so much with out-of-touch characters.

That said, it is a good movie full of lots of witty banter. I recommend it, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

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Little Shop of Horrors is a musical based on a movie of the same name from the 60s. I am not a huge fan of musicals so I can’t comment on how it holds up as one. That said, it still holds up as a film. The singing is fine, the acting is decent, and the special effects are appropriate. It was the actor’s gravitas and charisma that kept my attention. I can see there being an audience for this movie; unfortunately, I am not among them.

This isn’t a bad movie. If you like musicals and 50 eras music, you should check this out. If you are like me and do not like musicals, you should still watch this version for its impact on modern pop culture. I didn’t realize how much this movie is referenced in modern media. I didn’t like it as a musical, but I did enjoy it for its importance in modern American Pop Culture. I appreciate all the risks this movie takes to tell such an odd story. I believe it is important to go back to these older films to see the different forms of storytelling, and how it has changed over the years.

Anyways, if you are looking for a solid musical with a lot of nostalgia, this is a safe bet. You can watch this movie free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free. Trust me.

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