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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

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I read this book back in middle school and it is an experience that has stuck with me well into my adulthood. I loved this book, but I didn’t get around to seeing the movie when it came out. I didn’t have the money. When I did, I was afraid it would have ruined my experience. When this movie was recommended to me by the YouTube algorithm, I reluctantly decided to watch it. What do I have to lose? It is free. I am very happy with the adaptation, but I am also saddened that there isn’t a sequel.

 I can’t tell you how close the adaptation is to the book, it has been a while since I’ve last read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but it was pretty close to what I remember. As far as movies go, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is the quirky and fun sci-fi movie you didn’t know you were looking for. The cast is great, the costumes are fantastic, and although the story isn’t finished, it is entertaining. I usually don’t like narration or meta-jokes in movies, but they are utilized expertly in this movie. This movie is very well done and you should give it a gander if you like silly quirky movies about space.

Check it out for free on YouTube. So long, and thank you for all the fish!

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Series Reviews

TV Series Reviews: Halo (2022) First Impression

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I honestly forgot this show was in the making. It’s been a while since I’ve played any of the Halo games, and while I am not the biggest fan, I do remember enjoying it. I went into this series with the faintest memory of the story, making this a whole new experience. My advice to you is to do the same. You shouldn’t hold onto the expectations that come with the hours of nostalgia this game has created for you, but rather go into this with the idea that this is a new sci-fi show with a halo skin on it. 

I think this show intended to reboot the series and introduce it to a new generation. This will offend the die-hard fans who are expecting this show to expand the lore they have already spent hours of investment in, but I am far enough removed from this that I can only hope that it will succeed in creating a whole new narrative that can garner a new fan base. I am still waiting for a sci-fi show as magical as Firefly.

There isn’t anything objectively bad in the first episode. The acting and graphics are fine, but it is too early to tell whether or not this new narrative will live up to any hype. The first episode spends a lot of time introducing this new story, and so far, I fear it might end up being another generic sci-fi show that gets abandoned halfway through. Unless they can break away from overdone and easy tropes, I don’t see much of a future for this show. For this show to be successful, it needs to be able to tell a story that is unique to the Halo universe. 

 But it is still the first episode, and thus too early to make any fair judgment. Based on the pacing, it will probably take two or three episodes for this show to find its footing. Until then, I can only be hopeful. If you are interested, I would wait for the release of a few more episodes as the first episode doesn’t do much to hook the audience. But for those of you who don’t have Paramount+ and want to check it out, the first episode is on YouTube. 

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The King’s Man (2021)

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I am not a huge fan of the series. Each movie in this series seems to miss its mark somehow, leaving us with a mediocre franchise. Kingsmen: The Secret Service has some decent action but the villain and story are bad. Kingsmen: The Golden Circle had a great villain, but the story and action were lacking. The Kings Man was bad all around and shouldn’t have been made. I can only assume that Kingsman: The Blue Blood will continue this trend of disappointing its audience.

While I do believe that the alternate history angle is creative, its execution is another generic action movie with a history lesson full of misinformation. This movie tries desperately to create lore for an IP that already doesn’t have a good story. Instead of an action-packed thriller, you get a boring back story and family drama.

What is sad is that this movie has some cool moments, but they only lead to further disappointment. Whenever this movie builds any momentum, it only devolves into any generic action movie you shouldn’t waste your time on. There is a cool scene in this movie where Conrad goes over the trenches to retrieve some intel from a fallen solder somewhere in the middle. They encounter a group of German soldiers who are doing the same thing. They can’t shoot for fear that they will be fired upon so they all draw bats and axes and ready for quiet close-quarter combat. It is a very cool shot, and I appreciated the costumes, weapons, and the desolate field. The build-up to this scene is perfectly tense, but the fight starts and it’s boring. The camera shakes around, and everyone dies before you even know what is going on. It was such a waste of a cool shot, but the perfect summary for this movie.

The best part about this movie is Rasputin. He is such a great character, it is a shame that he is wasted in this movie. His character is unique and quirky, and his fight scene is creative and so much fun to watch. I only wish that the rest of this movie carried the same energy and creativity as this fight scene. It isn’t worth you sitting through the whole movie, however, so I will leave a link to the scene below.

You shouldn’t waste your time with this movie. It doesn’t add anything to the franchise, but you can watch it on HBO if you have time to waste and a subscription to burn through.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Jackass Forever (2022)

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If you are a fan of the franchise, you have probably already seen this movie in theaters. If you aren’t, it is the same thing as all the other movies but they introduce new cast members and guest stars. If you are on the fence about this movie, I don’t think the theater experience adds anything to the film. I would hold off till you can have a medium where you can fast forward through the boring bits. There is a lot of filler in this movie where the cast stands around or reacts to the stunts. If you are a die-hard fan you will probably appreciate these bits, but I am not and it got tedious.

As far as the stunts go, a lot of the new pranks revolve around misdirection. A cast member would start a stunt, but the stunt changes midway through unexpectedly. This is a refreshing direction to the series, as it does lead to some funny moments. But like all Jackass films, not all of the stunts are hitters, and there are a few you will want to skip. I am not a huge fan of the animal bits that I wish I could have avoided altogether. They don’t harm the animals, but the animals don’t want to be in this movie.

Overall, the movie is fine if you grew up watching the franchise. I believe this movie is meant to introduce the new cast that will be taking over the series. While the original cast is involved, their involvement is more subdued. There was a bigger emphasis on the new cast members. I would describe the new cast as excitable and ready to take over the franchise, but I don’t have an opinion of whether or not they are worthy. They also have a few celebrity cameos, but they don’t add much to the movie.

This movie is okay, but unless you are a die-hard fan, I wouldn’t rush out to go see it.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Eragon (2006)

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I read the Eragon back in high school, back around the time when the movie was coming out. I loved the book and I remember the excitement I felt about watching the movie. I remember exchanging that excitement for disappointment because the movie didn’t hold the same magic that the book did. I decided that today, I was far enough removed from the book that I would no longer hold that bias. I thought that I would be able to see the movie in a different light. I no longer hold onto that bias, but my opinion about this movie has not changed. I now understand why this movie never got any sequels, and it rightfully shouldn’t.

Eragon is a bad movie. You shouldn’t watch it, even if it is free on YouTube. Eragon is a movie that has gotten worse with age. The acting is mediocre, the CGI is ugly, and the story isn’t interesting. If you are looking for a movie with the same story done better, go watch Star Wars or How to Train Your Dragon. It is a much better use of your time.

What hurts this movie is its pacing and characters. There isn’t enough time spent on world-building or establishing Eragon as a competent hero in training. As a result, Eragon feels arrogant and whiny instead of a kid who is slowly growing to become a hero.

Take Brom’s death for example. Eragon gets a vision about saving Arya. Without discussing it with anyone, he just leaves. Brom dies saving Eragon. Brom’s death is supposed to be emotional and serve as an important moment of growth for Eragon. Instead, it is a frustrating scene because of how incompetent Eragon is as a hero. You might be able to excuse Eragon’s incompetence to the inexperience of youth, but the film doesn’t frame it as such. The whole movie doesn’t frame as anything heroic. He either wins because it’s in the script or people die because he messes up. It is difficult to care about a story where the main character is so unlikable.

I thought watching it for free would make watching this movie easier, but it didn’t. Don’t watch it, especially if you liked the book because you will be disappointed. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)

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Kingpin is fine if you want to throw something on in the background and not have to pay attention to it. It is like any other buddy/sports comedy but with enough charm that you won’t hate the two hours you spend watching it. The story and acting are fine, but the pacing is a little slow. While I did enjoy this film, there were a few places where I lost interest and zoned out.

There isn’t much I can say about this movie as it doesn’t add much to the genre, but it isn’t the worst movie on the platform. If you have nothing to watch or are working on some hobbies, it works perfectly in the background. Other than that, I wouldn’t put any urgency on watching this movie.

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. Trust me when I say you can do a lot worse for free.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Grumpy Old Men (1993)

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Grumpy Old Men is a cute story about friendship and growing old. The movie is about two stubborn old men who can’t let go of their petty grievances. They have grown complacent in their routine and waiting to die. All of this changes when Ann-Margret moves in next door. She helps them move out of their comfort zone and start enjoying life again.

I like this movie a lot. It has a great cast and a sweet story. The chemistry between the cast is what sells this movie. I love their grumpy back and forth. It truly feels like I was watching two old friends. They bicker, play pranks on each other, but they also care enough to check on each other. They care for each other in their own weird way, but they will never admit it. It is a rivalry that exists because neither character wants to admit their wrongs, and it takes Ann-Margaret to help make their friendship stronger.

What this movie does very well is how they deal with old age. Grumpy Old Men addresses a lot of issues that come with growing old. Their friends die, their health is failing, they are lonely, and they aren’t financially secure. These are issues that are part of the experience, and it is sad. You can see that it affects them, but their pride won’t let them admit it. It affects the characters to the point where they stop trying. It is only when they stop living in the past do they begin to enjoy life again and become a lot less grumpy. 

This movie has a simple plot with an amazing journey. You can watch this movie free on YouTube. 

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Marry Me

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Marry Me is a shamelessly lazy vanity project about a down-to-earth pop star trying to find true love. Don’t waste your time with this movie, it is bad. There is a big unignorable hole in this already shaky plot; there is no way a teacher can afford tickets that close to the stage.

In the movie, JLO and Maluma are world-renowned music sensations who make history with their lazily composed music. They are about to get married on stage at the world’s most anticipated concert until the script complicates things. I looked up BTS tickets because that seemed the most comparable comparison and tickets that close to the stage run around $3000 on ticket master before the fees. That means the tickets to have Owen Wilson that close to the stage would have cost more than $10,000. This being a once-in-a-lifetime event would have made the tickets more expensive. Adele tickets once sold for $78,000. It is fair to assume that these tickets would be unattainable on a teacher’s salary. If there are no tickets, Owen Wilson can’t marry JLO and there is no movie.

But unfortunately, there is a movie and it is bad. I don’t know what is worse, Maluma’s acting or the writing. Whenever the writing hits the wall, they use social media footage as a transition. It is awkward and it slows down an already slow movie.

Let’s be honest, this is JLO’s vanity project. She plays an idealized version of herself. Every bit of JLO’s dialogue is a terribly cheesy speech about love. Acting aside, her fake-deep speeches get insufferable. Every scene exists to show how nice and positive JLO always is despite her hectic lifestyle. JLO might be nice in real life, but this was exaggerated to a fantastical degree. 

 I have seen enough JLO movies to know that she plays the same character in each one. A down-to-earth kind whatever trying to find love, and each time it somehow gets worse. At least in this movie, she is proactive. You add the lazily composed music throughout and this movie becomes even harder to sit through.

This is a lazy and shameless cash grab, do not watch it.