I finally found the time to sit back and watch Citadel on Amazon Prime, and I am upset at how much time I wasted on this series. It was a struggle to finish Citadel and an even bigger struggle to find the strength to not skip around when this series got boring. Don’t watch this series. There is nothing for you here.
Citadel is about two spies forced into hiding by an evil organization hunting them down. One spy has lost his memories and is struggling with his identity. Is he a father and husband from Iowa, or is he the deadly spy everyone else knows he is? But he must decide quickly. The world is about to end, and only he and his generic female spy ex-lover are the only ones who can save the world. Can they do it?
I don’t know where to start with this series because it is so bad. The plot is terrible, but I would argue that the writing is worse. There are lines in this series that are so bad that I had to pause the series so that I could reevaluate my decisions. I took a lot of breaks trying to get through this series, and it almost broke me. The writing is so bad that I can’t tell you how bad the acting is. There are actors in this series that aren’t trying, but others, like the lead, are trying their hardest to make this terrible series work. Gods bless them. I hope they can find something better after Citadel.
This series tries to have this overarching mystery as you are trying to figure out who the mole is. It doesn’t work because it becomes obvious the moment they walk into the series. This was only a few minutes in, and For the rest of the series, I had to sit through terrible attempts at misdirection as the series built up to the dumbest big reveal you can’t possibly fathom. This series is so boring that I could only sit there and over-analyze every terrible plot point, overthink every plot hole, and scrutinize all of the science. I can suspend my disbelief in action thrillers, but they have to be good at distracting me with big explosions and fun action. Citadel had nothing to distract me from how terrible it is.
Citadel is the most boring to come out this year. There were a few decent fights, but not enough to be worth your time. Most of the run time is spent on relationships no one cares about and pointless filler. Had this been a movie packed with more action, it would have been better.
I don’t want to spend any more time on this series. You can stream it on Amazon, but I wouldn’t waste my time.
Game Review: Mia and the Dragon Princess
I was sent Mia and the Dragon Princess as a review code. While I am very grateful for the opportunity, I will be honest with my review.
Mia and the Dragon Princess is an interactive action movie you can play on Android, IOS, PlayStation, Xbox, Switch, and PC via Steam and Epic games.
Mia feels trapped in a boring job and wishes for some excitement. Her wish comes true when a mysterious woman ends up in her alley. Before Mia can find help for this mysterious woman, a group of thugs barge in and threaten her friends. What will Mia do?
Occasionally while watching this movie, viewers will be given choices that will affect the outcome. The movie has ten endings and different storylines. The timer for each choice gives this movie its urgency, and some choices will be tricky to make. By the end of your first playthrough, you are going to want to play for a different ending. You skip scenes you’ve already watched to make the experience less tedious, but they are available if you need a refresher.
Mia and the Dragon Princess is a solid action movie.The story is a bit cheesy in parts, but it is a lot of fun. The acting is fine, the action is well-choreographed, and the stories are well done. I do have to warn you that the stories do get dark. There is death and violence in this movie, but nothing too gruesome. I loved all the small jokes sprinkled throughout, but I have a soft spot for cheesy movies. I want to keep this review a bit vague because I don’t want to spoil the story. I suggest you go as blind as possible for your first playthrough.
I was surprised by this title because I didn’t know what to expect. I loved it, and see myself returning to the title a few more playthroughs. It was a unique experience with a solid and fun story that I recommend to everyone. That said, it is a bit of a niche title. If you are someone who enjoys b movies or cheesy ones, this is a fun title. Otherwise, I would wait for a discount. I wouldn’t call this a game because of how easily you can earn all the endings, but it is also a bit more complicated than a movie. Mia and the Dragon Princess is a cool concept with an impressive execution, and I recommend you try it at least once with friends.
You can buy Mia and the Dragon Princess for $12.99. You can play it on Android, IOS, PlayStation, Xbox, Switch, and PC via Steam and Epic Games. You can also try out the demo on Steam. Get your copy today!
Game Review: Lightracer Spark
I was sent Lightracer Spark as a review code. I am very grateful for the opportunity, but I will keep my review honest.
Lightracer Spark is a sci-fi visual novel with light RTS elements. You play as an amender from an advanced alien cavillation on a mission to save the universe from collapsing. To do so, you must travel to developing planets and help with their evolution. You manipulate governments, stabilize economies, or eliminate anything stunting the growth of a civilization. But be wary of your choices. A single mistake could be the difference between the birth of an advanced civilization and the destruction of another. Can you bring enough planets into the modern era before it is too late?
If you like sci-fi novels, Lightracer Spark has an interesting narrative that is worth looking into. Only the first chapter of the story is playable, but there are two more chapters planned as free DLC for future releases. This game has some fantastic flavor. I love the idea of playing this god-like creature with the power to control the flow of a civilization, but the story has a few grammatical issues that are hard to overlook. Not enough to ruin the experience, but they are noticeable.
At each planet, you are given a set of issues you need to fix. It can be anything from bringing peace to a war-torn country to helping discover new technology. How you approach solutions to these problems are limited by resources gained or gather in the game. You can use your resources for things like raising armies or on buildings that grant bonuses. I felt this part of the game was a bit too slow. There is a way to speed things up, but I was never confident enough to mess with it. If you are good at RTS games, you will enjoy the pacing and gameplay a lot better.
As far as RTS games go, Lightracer Spark is fairly manageable. The tutorial does a fantastic job of slowly introducing players to the game’s mechanics without it feeling like a tutorial. The tutorial felt like an immersive conversation with an AI, and I appreciated the touch. My only complaint is that I felt like I was taught mechanics that never came up again, but that could be due to user error.
So is it worth it? Lightracer Spark is a niche game, but that isn’t a bad thing. If you like sci-fi and don’t mind the light RTS elements, you should at least look into it. The story is solid, and the flavor is well-designed. It isn’t a bad game, but you do need to enjoy this type of gameplay loop. It’s a lot of reading and waiting on timers. For those interested, you can grab your copy on Steam for 12.99. It’s not a bad price for what you get.
The Big Door Prize (2023)
I just watched the available episodes for Apple’s new series The Big Door Prize, and I can’t help but feel disappointed. The series had potential and some interesting ideas, but it was boring. It was a mistake for Apple to make this series a weekly release. The series is about halfway over, and I don’t want to finish it. I probably will because I have to, but I doubt it gets better.
A small town becomes destabilized when a mysterious machine appears at the local grocery store. For just two dollars, the machine can tell you your potential. After seeing their potential, some people find the courage to pursue a dream they didn’t know they had. Others will spiral as they struggle with the ideas of fate and free will. Where did this mysterious machine come from? Is it really the miracle everyone believes it is, or is it a piece of nefarious engineering?
The series has a solid cast who give decent performances, but the writing and pacing aren’t good. The events of this series move much too slowly because they drag this series out for too many episodes. This could have been a better movie or smaller series, but instead, we have to sit through all its filler. It doesn’t help that the commentary and criticism it tries to make about fate and potential are redundant and lazy. The biggest issue I had was keeping myself from fast-forwarding to the end.
The Big Prize Door proved too quirky, slow, and dull for my taste. It isn’t the worst series in Apple’s catalog, but it is hard to sit through. If you are thinking of watching it, I hold off till you can binge the whole thing, and then I would hold off until you have nothing else to watch.
Series Review: Florida Man (2023)
I am at a strange place with Florida Man because while there are elements of this series that I liked, it failed to leave much of an impression. It isn’t a bad show, but it isn’t worth the binge either. It has a solid start with solid performances, but the story is dragged out and boring. If you are going to watch this series, I recommend throwing it up in the background so you can zone out for the boring bits.
Mike Valentine is a disgraced cop who finds himself in the service of a local mob boss to pay off his debts. Mike is sent to Florida to search for his employer’s runaway girlfriend. Mike returns to a town he vowed never to return to and finds himself on a treasure hunt. Will Mike be a faithful servant and do his job, or will he use this treasure to buy his freedom?
I didn’t have much to say about this series because it doesn’t have much going for it. The acting is fine, but it is inconsistent. The story has potential, but it goes on for too many episodes. If they cut out all the filler, it still wouldn’t be great, but it wouldn’t be as boring. It wastes a lot of time on emotional moments that don’t matter, character development that adds nothing to the story, and Florida Man gags that aren’t always funny. This series’ biggest problem is that it tries to do too much without actually doing anything good. The comedy isn’t consistently funny, the heist is boring, and the twist is painfully obvious. The series tries to build up to this deep ending, but it doesn’t do enough to make it work. By the end of the first episode, you will know what the twist is going to be, and sitting through the build-up isn’t worth it.
Floridan Man is a mediocre series. You won’t hate it if you throw it on, but you might find it in you to finish. You can stream the series on Netflix, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it.
Cart Life
At GDC I got to play the interesting slice-of-life game, Cart Life. This is the most unique game I have ever played. While it may not be for everyone, it does deserve some attention.
I like the contrast between the simple pixel art and the complete narratives it tells. The art style reminds me of the Gameboy Pocket era games. Cart Life lets you play as everyday people as they work their jobs, build relationships, and deal with the hardships of living in a city. As you try to juggle your personal and work life, you realize that it is impossible to balance everything. You will be forced to make some difficult choices.
In the demo, I got to play the Ukrainian immigrant Andrus as he begins his life in the US. During the day, you run his newsstand, and by night you have to care for his cat. At work, I had to set prices, stock shelves, and service my customers. It seems simple, but there were a lot of factors to consider to make sure my day was successful. I didn’t get much time with this game, but I can see how easily everything can stack up and make the game difficult. It was a nice change of pace from what I am used to, but in a great way. I’ll be trying to get a copy for review as soon as I can.
If you like the slice-of-life genre and looking for a game with a strong narrative, you should consider looking into Cart Life. The gameplay is unique, the art is pleasant, and the narrative is award-winning. Cart Life is releasing on PC sometime this year, but there are plans for a console release if it does well. For now, I recommend you wishlist it on Steam and follow it on Twitter.
Series Review: Hello Tomorrow! (2023)
After watching the first two episodes of Hello Tomorrow!, I was hopeful that this series would at least be entertaining. I didn’t expect it to be the greatest series Apple added to their library, but it would at least be a fun way to spend some time if I needed the distraction. The characters were delightful, and I loved the 50’s retrofuturism this series is a master at. Unfortunately, this hopefulness quickly faded when I had to sit through a dull series that frankly, was a waste of time.
Jack is a charismatic salesman who sells the dream of living on the moon on exclusive luxury timeshares that the average hard-working American can afford. But the dream Jack sell isn’t real. There are no timeshares, and Jack is the only one who knows this. For years, Jack runs this scam without issue. It is only when a freak accident brings his son back into his life that Jack suddenly has a change of heart. Jack now struggles with the lies he is comfortable telling and building a meaningful relationship with his son. Will he be able to pull the greatest scam America has ever known, or will a heart change him for the better?
This series has a beautiful aesthetic but lacks the substance to make it worth watching. It was a mistake on Apple’s part to make this series a weekly release because it isn’t worth waiting a week to watch the next disappointing episode. People wouldn’t have finished it if you could binge this series all at once, but some would have stuck with it longer. The problem with this series is that the writing isn’t good. The actors do their best, but the story isn’t there to make this series work. It is a shame because some delightful characters in this series deserved better.
What I hated most about this series is how they fumbled Jack’s development. His transformation is magical and comes out of nowhere. Jack starts this series as this suave charismatic salesman who is incredibly good at what he does, but there is a sudden pivot where he is now a stary-eyed dreamer who wants to help everyone. This pivot is jarring, and it ends up making Jack the villain. I would have been okay with Jack being the villain if the series set this transformation better, but I am over-analyzing a series that frankly doesn’t deserve this much attention.
You can stream Hello Tomorrow! On Apple TV if you have a subscription, but I wouldn’t waste my time on it.
Series Review: Swarm (2023)
Amazon’s Swarm is a creepy and strange series that you should be making time for. The series has an amazing cast that gives terrifying performances, a solid story, and beautiful cinematography. At the very least, add this series to your watch list.
After Marissa’s suicide, Dre finds it impossible to adjust to a life without her sister. Dre’s only comfort now is listening to her favorite RnB singer, Ni’Jah. But Dre’s love for Ni’Jah is dangerously obsessive, and this obsession makes Dre violent. The series will deal with the extent of Dre’s toxic fandom as she turns against anyone who offends Ni’Jah. Swarm is violent and full of sex, drugs, and nudity. Viewer discursion is advised.
I will keep my review vague because I don’t want to spoil the experience. This incredibly creepy and captivating series never ceased to amaze me. It is a bit slow and artsy, but it works. The storytelling in this series is amazing. The foreshadowing, symbolism, and fashion all work together to elevate the effectiveness of its narrative. I loved the attention to detail as I picked up on the subtle clues. I even went back to pick them up the ones I missed. Swarm has a well-crafted mystery if you are paying attention. I will be rewatching it to see how much of them I have missed.
This series would be nothing without its lead, Dominique Fishback. Fishback as Dre is the best thing about this series. The way she plays Dre remains unrivaled in the genre. You need to watch this series just to appreciate her performance. The rest of the cast is just as great and plays off of Fishback’s terrifying energy beautifully.
This series does a fantastic job of dealing with obsession and addiction. The way Dre and other characters let their lives be controlled by their obsessions is what makes this series truly terrifying. It is a reality that does exist for people, and this series does a great job depicting the nightmare.
If you haven’t seen this series, at the very least add it to your watch list. It is creepy, beautiful, and has a great story. You can stream Swarm on Amazon if you have a subscription.
Excellence in Narrative: Immorality
This year’s winner for the IGF’s Excellence in Narrative award went to Immorality, a fantastically done mystery about the cinema. Marissa Marcel was a prominent actress with great promises, but she disappeared after making three unreleased movies. With your ability, you must jump between these movies to piece together what happened to Marissa Marcel.
Immorality is a beautiful mystery as you get to jump between scenes filmed with real actors. It is a very creative way to tell a story and one with many choices to make. I have always missed this genre of gaming, but I was fortunate to try this for a few minutes. My experience left me wanting more because everything was well done. I love the grainy feel of the footage you sift through, the acting is fantastic, and the concept is so good. I will be trying to get myself a copy of this for review, but till then, you should at least Wishlist this.
You can buy Immorality on Steam, Xbox, and GOG for $19.99. The game is currently on sale at GOG for $14.99 or free on Game Pass if you have a subscription.
Series Review: Poker Face (2023)
The first season of Poker Face has finally wrapped up, and it was fine. If you are looking for a quirky and silly mystery of the week series to get into, this one should at least be on your list.
Charlie is a human lie detector who finds herself running from the mob. As she makes her way across the American landscape, she keeps finding herself in the middle of all these murders. Charlie is too kind to let things go unsolved, so for the first time in her life, she uses her gifts for good. Watch Charlie as she fumbles through a mystery to bring justice to crimes that would otherwise go unnoticed. But for every new friend she makes, she also leaves behind new enemies. Will Charlie ever find peace, or is she destined to be a runaway?
Natasha Lyonne’s role as Charlie is a gift, and you need to watch this series to enjoy her performance. Lyonne has the presence and charisma to make this series work. If you aren’t in love with Charlie by the end of the first episode, you weren’t paying attention. I love that Charlie isn’t the usual detective archetype that you get in shows like Law and Order. Charlie is a flawed character who will fumble through the investigation. Charlie is clever enough to make the connections, but her carefree demeanor makes her come to it at her own pace. A lot of the fun for this series comes from watching Charlie slowly put the pieces together.
The only issue I have with this series is that not every episode is good. I will be skipping a few episodes the next time I watch this season, but I see the value of watching the whole series at least once. Each episode will have important character moments for Charlie that come back in subtle ways in the future. These details aren’t so important that it affects the story significantly, but I appreciate the attention to detail. That said, the worst episode is still good enough, and the series is collectively solid.
If you haven’t seen this series and have a Peacock subscription because it is worth the trouble. At the very least, you will fall in love with a fictional character.