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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Eragon (2006)

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I read the Eragon back in high school, back around the time when the movie was coming out. I loved the book and I remember the excitement I felt about watching the movie. I remember exchanging that excitement for disappointment because the movie didn’t hold the same magic that the book did. I decided that today, I was far enough removed from the book that I would no longer hold that bias. I thought that I would be able to see the movie in a different light. I no longer hold onto that bias, but my opinion about this movie has not changed. I now understand why this movie never got any sequels, and it rightfully shouldn’t.

Eragon is a bad movie. You shouldn’t watch it, even if it is free on YouTube. Eragon is a movie that has gotten worse with age. The acting is mediocre, the CGI is ugly, and the story isn’t interesting. If you are looking for a movie with the same story done better, go watch Star Wars or How to Train Your Dragon. It is a much better use of your time.

What hurts this movie is its pacing and characters. There isn’t enough time spent on world-building or establishing Eragon as a competent hero in training. As a result, Eragon feels arrogant and whiny instead of a kid who is slowly growing to become a hero.

Take Brom’s death for example. Eragon gets a vision about saving Arya. Without discussing it with anyone, he just leaves. Brom dies saving Eragon. Brom’s death is supposed to be emotional and serve as an important moment of growth for Eragon. Instead, it is a frustrating scene because of how incompetent Eragon is as a hero. You might be able to excuse Eragon’s incompetence to the inexperience of youth, but the film doesn’t frame it as such. The whole movie doesn’t frame as anything heroic. He either wins because it’s in the script or people die because he messes up. It is difficult to care about a story where the main character is so unlikable.

I thought watching it for free would make watching this movie easier, but it didn’t. Don’t watch it, especially if you liked the book because you will be disappointed. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)

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Kingpin is fine if you want to throw something on in the background and not have to pay attention to it. It is like any other buddy/sports comedy but with enough charm that you won’t hate the two hours you spend watching it. The story and acting are fine, but the pacing is a little slow. While I did enjoy this film, there were a few places where I lost interest and zoned out.

There isn’t much I can say about this movie as it doesn’t add much to the genre, but it isn’t the worst movie on the platform. If you have nothing to watch or are working on some hobbies, it works perfectly in the background. Other than that, I wouldn’t put any urgency on watching this movie.

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. Trust me when I say you can do a lot worse for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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Movie Reviews

YouTube Movie Review: Orange County (2002)

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Orange County is a very disappointing movie. Do not waste your time on it. It isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s not worth watching. I don’t understand how a movie with such a great cast can be so boring.

Sean is a whiny rich kid from Orange County whose recent dream is to go to Stanford to become a writer. His dream gets complicated by unknown forces that don’t want him to go to Stanford. The whole movie is about Sean trying to get to Stanford to convince the Dean or whoever to reconsider him for admission. Spoilers: he decides not to go after getting in, making the whole adventure pointless.

Orange County isn’t worth your time. The premise and execution are bad. You float from scene to scene not caring about Sean or his problems because Sean doesn’t have the charisma to make this movie work. He doesn’t drive his own story. Instead, the other more interesting characters do so for him. At the end of this movie, Sean is the same person. He doesn’t grow, learn, or do anything except waste your time.

Orange County is a boring adventure about a boring character that ends without any payoff. There are better movies with this exact plot; watch those instead. Don’t waste your time on this movie. You can watch it free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Picture This (2008)

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You should not watch Picture This. I don’t even know where to begin with this film. Picture This is a poorly written fantasy of the boring girl getting with the hot guy. It was a struggle getting through this movie, but somehow I found the strength.

Picture This is about a boring high school girl who likes the hottest guy in school. Her only defining characteristic is that she loves the hot guy. Through the power of shitty writing, the hot guy likes her too. The movie is a quest to meet up with the hot boy at the end of the film without her dad finding out. Oh, and the hot boy likes photography. Does that impact the plot? No, but the movie makes a big deal about that, hence the namesake.

This movie is poorly written, it has a decent cast, but they are doing the best they can with what they are given. The whole movie is a series of reactions to the different generic story beats before the girl gets the guy at the end. There are millions of these movies out there, you will forget you watched this too. I can’t name you a single character or attempt to give you any meaningful moments because of how generic this movie is. This movie tries to distract its audience with complicated vocabulary and awkward Chaucer references, but there is no hiding the fact that this is a bad movie.

I know that this is a kids’ movie, and maybe I should give it some slack, but I can not. Your kid’s time is too valuable to be wasted on this movie. Your time is way too valuable. It is free on YouTube, but that price tag is still too high. Skip it.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A Good Woman (2004)

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I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a solid cast who give great performances, and the writing is excellent. If you like romance movies, this is a complicated one full of wit, drama, and misunderstandings that’s easy to enjoy. If you are a fan of the 20’s era aesthetic, there is enough in it to satisfy most audiences. If you are only looking for something to watch, I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.

A Good Woman is about a newlyweds trip to Italy. All seems fine until gossip and desire place a strain on their relationship. The movie focuses on a group of social elites who have too much time on their hands. The overall message isn’t wholly universal, but it does address some important topics. The film is an exploration of the relationship between man and woman. What is acceptable differs based on gender. Men can cheat and have mistresses, while women must accept this fact and hate the mistress. A man can’t be friends with a woman, things of that nature. It doesn’t go deep enough, but at least there is an attempt. This movie is framed as a fantasy, so expect a lot of the lessons learned to be superficial. You can only do so much with out-of-touch characters.

That said, it is a good movie full of lots of witty banter. I recommend it, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

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Battle Beyond the Stars is a Sci-Fi movie I didn’t know I needed in my life. YouTube has been recommending this movie for a while now, and today I finally decided to give it a try. I found it delightful. Fans of Sci-Fi or Fantasy, this is the movie for you. There are space battles, an evil warlord, unique characters, and an epic journey. This is a fun film, and I recommend it to everybody. 

I will say that some modern audiences might find the pacing a bit slow. I believe the pacing to be fitting, but it is something to keep in mind. The movie is also very cheesy, but the cheesiness is part of the charm. For those of you who love cheesy 80’s, you should at least consider Battle Beyond the Stars.

My favorite aspect of this movie is the creativity. From the different aliens to the space ships, the filmmakers build a universe that feels diverse and expansive. You can tell this movie was low budget, but that doesn’t matter because the story is worth it. I didn’t care that some of the spacesuits were cardboard and duct tape. I didn’t care that the space battles were toys. I didn’t care because the story was so compelling. I admire how much suspense this movie creates with such a small budget.  Battle Beyond the Stars proves that a good movie doesn’t have to have a million-dollar budget to be good. All it needs is a good story.

For those interested, you can watch it on YouTube for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)

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I will admit that there is some bias when it comes to “Dude Where’s My Car.” I consider it a very influential movie from my childhood, although it had been a while since I last saw it. I have to say, this movie still holds up. Sure some of this movie charm has dulled from age. Some of the jokes don’t land anymore, but the overall experience is entertaining. Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher are fantastic together. Their performance in this film shouldn’t be overlooked. Their charisma in this movie is the reason why it works so well.

Now this movie isn’t perfect. The plot is a bit slow at points. You can see this movie age showing itself. Some of the bits are a bit cheesy, but overall I think that is part of the experience. This was never meant to be a movie that was supposed to be taken seriously. I find that stoner comedies are either hit or miss. Either the audience has to be high for it to be funny, or the movie just isn’t funny at all. You don’t need to be high to think this movie is funny, but it does enhance the overall experience. Overall, this isn’t the worst way to spend your time.

“Dude Where’s My Car” is a silly buddy stoner comedy that isn’t a waste of your time. You can check it out for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews

YouTube Movie Reviews: John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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This will be more of an analysis than a review. If you are interested in watching “John Tucker Must Die,” it is free on YouTube with ads. You can watch it on Amazon Prime with a subscription if you don’t want any ads. I have to say this movie still holds up. I recommend this movie to anyone, it is a solid comedy with a shady plot. The acting is solid and the soundtrack is phenomenal. I recommend this movie for the soundtrack alone. The plot is a bit problematic, but you can overlook its immorality. This isn’t a movie that should be taken seriously

That said, I am going to take this movie a little seriously. I have to respect this movie for addressing some serious themes, and it does well. The main focus of this movie is to tear down John Tucker, but there are moments in this movie that show that the kids aren’t okay. There is a lot of pressure from society that dictates how everyone should act. John, for example, is the stereotypical alpha jock. He is the best at basketball, he is popular, and he is a player. But that isn’t all John wants to be. Throughout his fake relationship with Kate, he will act out and try his hardest to win her over. Part of that is because it is expected of him, but the other part is because he believes he finds something in Kate that is outside of what is normal. With her, he doesn’t have the pressure he has with the rest of the school and he spends the whole movie accepting this fact. There are scenes in this movie where he is shown breaking down this persona he has created, and those moments give his character a level of complexity that I did not expect. Of course, any development that his character makes is thrown out by the end of the movie, but I don’t think John was ever supposed to be a sympathetic character.

Kate on the other hand has the opposite problem. She is invisible and longs to be noticed and have friends. She doesn’t feel the pressures of society because society doesn’t notice her. When she starts being part of a group and starts to get noticed, she finds that she begins to act in ways that go against her character. There are moments in this movie where she questions the morality of the plot, but she will overlook it because she likes fitting in for once. This movie does a pretty good job of showing how the desire to fit in changes people. These are issues that plagued our adolescence, a period in our lives where we were just trying to fit in and find out who we are as people. Maybe that is why this movie still holds up because these are issues that people still deal with.

This movie isn’t as deep as I make it out to be. It is silly, fun, and worth your time. There are worse ways to spend two hours. Best of all, it is free!

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