Tag Archives: streaming

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Morbius (2022)

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I had completely forgotten about this movie, and after watching this movie, I understand why. This unimpressive addition to the MCU should have been left as an uninspired pitch on the story board. This movie fails to set itself apart from any generic bargain bin action movie despite its fancy packaging. While the acting might set it apart from complete mediocrity, its narrative fails to inspire the least bit of intrigue. 

The movie follows a sickly doctor who is obsessed with finding a cure for his life-threatening ailment. His desperation for a cure leads his research to unethical avenues. His obsession finally pays off when he finds the cure. Unfortunately, the cure transforms him into a monster with an uncontrollable thirst for blood. Now he must find a way to quell his hunger without succumbing to his monstrous desires. 

Do not let the aesthetics of this movie blind you to the fact that at its core, this movie is a shallow addition to the MCU. The story is bland, the villain is boring, and the love interest is unnecessary. I believe a more appropriate term for this movie would be forgettable. I find it near impossible to remember what happened in this movie despite having just seen it.  Do yourself a favor, watch one of the better MCU movies.  

I found this movie free on YouTube, but even as free content I felt it was a waste of time. I’ve seen enough movies to know that this is one of those lazy plots that gets reskinned every year in an attempt to make a quick buck. It is frustrating, but it is the nature of the business. It is better forget about the existence of this  unremarkable movie than to have to sit through even a minute of it.  

Series Reviews

Obi-Wan Kenobi(2022) Initial Thoughts

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I am sure most of you have already seen the new expansion to the Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan Kenobi, that was just released on Disney+. For those still on the fence, I think waiting for more episodes might be a good play. While the acting and action are fine, It does little to set itself apart from anything else you’ve already seen. So far, Kenobi doesn’t offer anything new to the Star Wars universe. Instead, the show reinforces facts fans already know. If you’ve seen the movies, you know Kenobi feels guilt about Anikan’s fate. This show follows Kenobi as he deals with this guilt. The show also offers some obvious insight into characters that are already established. 

I wish Disney would write stories that focused on other narratives and other characters in the Star Wars universe. There are so many books and games that expand the lore, yet they continue to dish out the same narrative. I appreciate that they are attempting to keep the IP alive, but I need some variation. Kenobi feels like it is going to be another narrative of a fallen hero moving through his redemption arc, and I can only hope they make it interesting.  

The show is fine, although I wasn’t impressed. The new city is neat, the acting for the most part is fantastic, the music is amazing,  and there are some pretty solid action scenes.  My only complaint is that they settle for another babysitting plot. It is hard not to compare it to The Mandalorian because it becomes a similar story, which defiantly swayed my reception of the series. The Mandalorian does it better. Unless Kenobi can effectively expand on the universe, I fear it might become another shameless cash grab. It is a shame because Disney has proven its competence at creating interesting expansions to the lore. Star Wars: Rebels is a fantastic example of a series that introduces new and interesting characters and also properly expands on the universe without heavily relying on well-known characters. I can still cling to the hope that this show will be good because they have done it before, but I will have to wait till Friday to know for sure.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Gone Tomorrow (2017)

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Gone Tomorrow is the uninteresting thriller you will probably forget watching. While there isn’t anything objectively bad about this movie, it doesn’t have the presence needed to make it work. It feels like a lesser unintended Taken reboot, but I would much rather be watching Taken. This movie is about a group of stoic brothers who are searching for their missing niece. They will stop at almost nothing to get her back from a mysterious and insidious organization. This movie doesn’t deserver more details.  

The acting is fine, the story hits all the mandatory action movie tropes, but the villains don’t exist. There is so much emphasis on showing how cool the heroes are that they forget to spend any time on the villains. The henchmen are reprehensibly sad men who are slaves to a system, but are negligible at best when it comes to actually affecting the narrative. The main villain will make his few stale appearances throughout the movie, but honestly, I forgot he existed. The only indication of the villain’s malice is that he is willing to rape and kill without cause or reason. Movie makers, you can have an interesting villain without him being a rapist.  

I’ll keep saying it, you can’t have a hero without an interesting villain. The hero’s intentions may be pure and his actions just, but without any tangible adversities, his narrative doesn’t matter. A good action movie has tension, adversity, and a capable adversary. There is no point in watching an action movie that has no stakes. The exception to the rule is if the action is fun, but that isn’t the case here either. 

The film makers try to complicate the plot by making the henchmen more human. They regret their actions, but are slaves to the organization they work for. There is also an obvious twist that is thrown in that only slows down the movie.  Most of the time you are just watching a stoic man walk from one scene to the next, waiting for him to inevitably find the baby. 

It isn’t the worst movie I’ve seen. The acting is fine, but we’ve all seen this movie done better elsewhere. If you are going to throw this on and not pay attention, it is decent background noise. Don’t go out of your way to watch this, even if you are starving for new content. You can find it free on YouTube.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers (2022)

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I really wanted to like this movie because the mixed media style is great. Unfortunately, the interesting style does not hide how uninteresting and cliché this movie is. If you have to sit down and watch it with your kids, you will lose interest but there are worse movies out there.  

The movie treats Chip and Dale as actors dealing with the aftermath of their career in their hit cartoon. Dale still clings to his past, attempting to revitalize his career and be able to see his friends again. Chip has moved on and attempts to live a normal life as a insurance salesman. Both are brought together as an evil gang has been enslaving cartoons and using them to produce knockoff movies. The thrill of the mystery revitalizes a broken friendship and is the focus of this movie.  

This movie isn’t all bad. There are some fun visual gags and puns that made me laugh, and I thought the way they mixed different animation styles was brilliant. Unfortunately, the story is uninspired and lazy. Gags will go on a little too long, the voice acting is inconstant, and the interactions between real people and the toons is always awkward. This movie also tries desperately to be meta, but these jokes only highlight the blaring flaws of this movie.  

John Mulaney isn’t a good choice for this movie. His voice acting in this movie is stiff, and took me out of the movie. It is jarring to have him aside Andy Samberg because their energies never match. Samberg is fantastic, but no one in this movie is able to bring the same energy he does to their performance. I know that Chip is supposed to be this stale character to contrast Dale’s bubbly nature, but Mulaney’s  performance is too stale to be entertaining. There is a catalogue of fantastic voice actors who would have been a better choice, but instead they chose to be disappointing. 

There is a moment in this movie where the characters poke fun at how cliché the plot is, I think that was valid criticism. This movie never surprises or tries anything interesting outside of the art style and it doesn’t pay off. You get the same buddy cop comedy you’ve seen way too many times but this time there are cartoons in it. There are better examples in the genre, I suggest you watch those instead.  

Look if you have to sit through this for your kids, it isn’t going to kill you. You will probably lose interest, but it isn’t the worst kids movie out there. I assume the kids this movie was made for will enjoy it more than I did. The whole time I was watching this, I was wishing I was watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit or even either of the Sonics. If you are interested, it is available for streaming on Disney+. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Perfect Guy (2022)

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This was a very forgettable romantic comedy that tries a little too hard to be quirky. I couldn’t find any information about this movie, even on the lead’s (Kate Micucci) IMDb page. This might be an indication that this movie was meant to be buried, but I was the unfortunate soul that unearthed it. If you like quirky and wholesome comedy, this movie might be salvageable, but it is so slow and cringeworthy that I would caution against it.  

The Perfect Guy is about Emma who doesn’t trust men. Her ex-boyfriend left her, stealing her billion dollar idea for an app about stars. Because of this betrayal, the only deep male relationships she can have are with her cat and dog. She wishes that her pets could be men she could trust. Through the power of astrology, her wish comes true. Now her cat and dog must adapt to being human while they try to help Emma through her emotional turmoil. There is also a romantic subplot between Emma and a repair man, but it is brushed to the side to till the end. 

The writing for this movie is awful. A lot of the dialogue is awkward, contributing to a lot of the stiff acting. The story is dull. You sit through some awkward dates, humans doing pet stuff, and more awkward conversations with very little humor or intrigue in-between. There are some moments that made me chuckle, but there aren’t enough to make the experience better. This movie tries too hard to lean into the leads awkwardness, but fails to capture any of her charm.  

I will say that the actors who play the human pets are the best part of this movie. They have a lot of fun with their roles and do the best with what they are given. Unfortunately, Kate Micucci isn’t a strong enough actor to make this movie work. I have no problem with Kate Micucci, I’ve liked some of her work in the past, but she fits a very specific niche and unfortunately this movie isn’t it. That said, it is difficult to decern if the problem lies within the poorly script or the acting ability of the cast.  

The Perfect Guy is the awkward fairy tale you will forget watching. You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t really worth the trouble. It isn’t a terrible movie, but there are better things you can be doing with your time.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Firestarter (2022)

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This is a poorly executed movie that isn’t worth your time. If you watched this movie in theaters, I hope you received a refund. Firestarter is boring; there is nothing interesting about this movie. Firestarter is a poorly executed horror thriller without any suspense or urgency. The plot is predictable and lazy, and the acting isn’t good enough to make this movie work. I don’t know how it compares to the original, but the original can’t be worse than whatever this is.

There is a lot of build-up in this movie that leads nowhere, yet there isn’t enough worldbuilding to flesh out its universe. I can’t tell you how the powers work or what the difference between each is; all I know is that people will awkwardly stare at each other and special effects wash over everything. It would help if they explanation or guidance so I could care about what is going on, but instead, there is only incompetence.

There is no suspense in this movie. The villains in this movie are negligible at best. They are guided by generic motivations and only seem to appear when the writing hits a wall. When they do show up, they are blown away almost instantly. It is extremely anticlimactic. It would be nice if it felt like Charlie and her family were being pursued by a competent force. It would help make things interesting if the fights were fun. This movie does a great job at making super-powered fights boring. I don’t even want to get into how problematic Rainbird is, but I am deeply offended. 

There are other movies that tackle this story more effectively, seek those out instead. This movie doesn’t deserve your time. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it over on Peacock.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Competition(2018)

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I had to gut this review because every draft before this was too long. I was beginning to nitpick every aspect of this movie out of frustration, but this movie doesn’t deserve it. The Competition is bad and you should avoid it. 

The competition is supposed to be a quirky rom-com about an intelligent woman who views love and relationships scientifically. She creates an arbitrary formula that can predict when a someone will cheat in a relationship, but has never actually tested it. This formula is to the test when she falls in love with a man who was bribed to go out with her. Together they decide to test this formula by trying to trick five different people into cheating on their significant other. The outcome of this test will determine the outcome of their relationship. It is a lot dumber and annoying than you can imagine.  

This writing is terrible, the acting is stiff and awkward, and the plot is pseudoscience garbage. I’m not sure what upsets me more, the lack of science from a movie that desperately tries to convince its audience otherwise, or the irredeemable main characters you are supposed to be rooting for.  

The experiment they have is gross and unethical. This three million dollar idea wouldn’t produce a valid conclusion because the sample size is way too small and the test is heavily skewed to prove her hypothesis. The main character is insufferable. She is cocky and condescending without any real reason other than she’s good at making formulas. The formula behind this whole movie is one with arbitrary variables that she herself gages with a personal scale. This is the dumbest most frustrating movie I’ve seen in a while. It took me multiple breaks to get through this movie and it isn’t worth the trouble. 

You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Dirty Work (1998)

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Dirty Work is a movie about being petty. A man must raise $50000 to pay for life-saving surgery and uses his pettiness to earn it. He and his brother are hired to exact petty revenge. It is a silly movie with a great cast that has aged decently but not without its faults.

While I did enjoy the film, I understand that it isn’t for everyone. The pacing, the jokes, and the tone are an issue. If you offend easy, avoid this movie. While there are some genuinely funny bits in this movie, some of the jokes have not aged well or don’t land. That said, the cast is talented enough to make this movie work. I love the obnoxious and loud tone. I love the petty over-the-top revenge schemes. There is no plot, but there are enough funny moments to keep you entertained. 

I recommend you through this movie on in the background while you work. The plot isn’t engaging enough for your full undivided attention. When the jokes don’t land, it starts to feel like a long movie. While I wouldn’t rush out to go see this, you won’t hate that you watched it. You can watch it free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free. 

Series Reviews

TV Show Review: Guilty Party

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Guilty Party is a story about a disgraced journalist, Beth, who is desperately trying to regain her reputation. An opportunity arises when a woman who was wrongly convicted of murder writes Beth and asks for help to prove her innocence. Beth takes it upon herself to search for any proof that Toni didn’t murder her husband.

I really wanted to like this show. It had some interesting elements to it. I liked that the show uses Beath as someone who is too dated for the industry. I liked that while she was trying to write meaningful stories, she gets overlooked for stories about pop culture. The first couple of episodes make some interesting criticisms about modern journalism. It was really well done at first.

I also liked that Beth wasn’t perfect. She stumbles through the clues and is frightened easily. It feels like she is in way over her head but her desperation keeps her from quitting. Beth is a refreshing take on the detective genre because it felt like she could fail. Usually, in these types of shows, you have a godlike lead with easy access to all these connections and clues, but Beth has none of these. She is constantly having to struggle to find any evidence. This gave the show its tension and I loved it until it became self-serving.

Every episode in this series has a scene where someone comments on how hot Beth is for being old. It wouldn’t be a problem if the story didn’t stop to make this a point. As the series progresses, it gets lazy. Hardships are thrown at Beth for the sake of moving the plot forward. Her husband cheats on her to give her the excuse to sleep with a younger man. Worst of all, this show becomes a white savior narrative as she learns how special black people are. It is gross and I can’t recommend it.

I don’t hate that they use Kate Beckinsale as their lead. When the show isn’t about her and she is trying to solve the mystery, it’s great. Beth is a good character with clear motivations and flaws, but the show never capitalizes on it. This show could have worked, but people got lazy.

This is the second project I’ve seen her in where the show spends so much time talking about how hot she is. I wonder if that is a clause in her contract? I wish they would have focused on actually telling a story. If you don’t believe me, you can stream this on Paramount Plus.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Lost City (2022)

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I wish Hollywood would stop making these uninspired and lazy movies filled with stars. It is a shameless way to get people to see a film that they would not otherwise consider. While The Lost City isn’t a terrible movie, it is still a shameless cash grab at its core. The Lost City is the kind of movie that loses its charm after viewing it once.

I didn’t hate The Lost City, it is better than whatever Red Notice tried to be, but it isn’t good. Its star-studded cast cannot hide how lazy it is. All the jokes are either body humor, jokes relating to the actor, or dick jokes. It feels like a comedy sketch that goes on too long. While it did make me laugh a few times, I doubt that I will laugh as much the next time around.

I did like that they didn’t push the same traditional roles for the actors. I liked Channing Tatum’s awkwardness and Sandra Bullock’s confidence, but the characters weren’t push far enough. I hated Daniel Radcliffe’s character because he can play a better villain. I get that this is supposed to be a comedy, but a little more effort with the villain might have made me care more about the movie. This plot lacks substance, and as a result, I just sat there waiting for the next dick joke. The best way to describe this movie is disappointing.

I am glad I didn’t watch this in theaters because I would have hated spending money on this. You can stream it now on Paramount Plus.