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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Eragon (2006)

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I read the Eragon back in high school, back around the time when the movie was coming out. I loved the book and I remember the excitement I felt about watching the movie. I remember exchanging that excitement for disappointment because the movie didn’t hold the same magic that the book did. I decided that today, I was far enough removed from the book that I would no longer hold that bias. I thought that I would be able to see the movie in a different light. I no longer hold onto that bias, but my opinion about this movie has not changed. I now understand why this movie never got any sequels, and it rightfully shouldn’t.

Eragon is a bad movie. You shouldn’t watch it, even if it is free on YouTube. Eragon is a movie that has gotten worse with age. The acting is mediocre, the CGI is ugly, and the story isn’t interesting. If you are looking for a movie with the same story done better, go watch Star Wars or How to Train Your Dragon. It is a much better use of your time.

What hurts this movie is its pacing and characters. There isn’t enough time spent on world-building or establishing Eragon as a competent hero in training. As a result, Eragon feels arrogant and whiny instead of a kid who is slowly growing to become a hero.

Take Brom’s death for example. Eragon gets a vision about saving Arya. Without discussing it with anyone, he just leaves. Brom dies saving Eragon. Brom’s death is supposed to be emotional and serve as an important moment of growth for Eragon. Instead, it is a frustrating scene because of how incompetent Eragon is as a hero. You might be able to excuse Eragon’s incompetence to the inexperience of youth, but the film doesn’t frame it as such. The whole movie doesn’t frame as anything heroic. He either wins because it’s in the script or people die because he messes up. It is difficult to care about a story where the main character is so unlikable.

I thought watching it for free would make watching this movie easier, but it didn’t. Don’t watch it, especially if you liked the book because you will be disappointed. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Kingpin (1996)

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Kingpin is fine if you want to throw something on in the background and not have to pay attention to it. It is like any other buddy/sports comedy but with enough charm that you won’t hate the two hours you spend watching it. The story and acting are fine, but the pacing is a little slow. While I did enjoy this film, there were a few places where I lost interest and zoned out.

There isn’t much I can say about this movie as it doesn’t add much to the genre, but it isn’t the worst movie on the platform. If you have nothing to watch or are working on some hobbies, it works perfectly in the background. Other than that, I wouldn’t put any urgency on watching this movie.

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. Trust me when I say you can do a lot worse for free.

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YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: 10 Things I Hate About You

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10 Things I Hate About You is one of those classic high school teen movies everyone has seen. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it. If you have seen it, you can find it free on YouTube. The cast is great, and the story is timeless. I can’t come up with a better sell because there are already a lot of great reviews out there. You will need to trust me when I say that this is a must-watch if you are looking for something to watch.

I’ve watched a lot of teen movies. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of bad teen movies. My issue with bad teen movies is that they try too hard to be flashy and current. It always has the latest slang, the best fashion, and the hottest actors at the moment. In turn, this limits the lifespan of the movie. Lingo and fashion change, and the hottest actors aren’t always the best. The results are movies that look nice but without any substance to them. But every now and then, I stumble on solid teen movies that surprise me. Movies with good actors and compelling narratives. 10 Things I Hate About You is one of these movies.

I will boldly claim that this narrative is timeless. Sure the slang and fashion are dated, but it touches on issues that will always be relevant. Things like dealing with narcissists, being an outcast, being judged based on your looks, and the pressures of trying to fit in are issues that we have all struggled with. These are part of our human experience. I am not saying this is a perfect representation. There are some fairy tale elements to it, but it does a great job of expressing experiences we are all familiar with. This is an important film because of how it handles a confusing and complicated time of our lives.

This is a very good movie. Go watch this movie on YouTube

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Movie Reviews

YouTube Movie Review: Orange County (2002)

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Orange County is a very disappointing movie. Do not waste your time on it. It isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but it’s not worth watching. I don’t understand how a movie with such a great cast can be so boring.

Sean is a whiny rich kid from Orange County whose recent dream is to go to Stanford to become a writer. His dream gets complicated by unknown forces that don’t want him to go to Stanford. The whole movie is about Sean trying to get to Stanford to convince the Dean or whoever to reconsider him for admission. Spoilers: he decides not to go after getting in, making the whole adventure pointless.

Orange County isn’t worth your time. The premise and execution are bad. You float from scene to scene not caring about Sean or his problems because Sean doesn’t have the charisma to make this movie work. He doesn’t drive his own story. Instead, the other more interesting characters do so for him. At the end of this movie, Sean is the same person. He doesn’t grow, learn, or do anything except waste your time.

Orange County is a boring adventure about a boring character that ends without any payoff. There are better movies with this exact plot; watch those instead. Don’t waste your time on this movie. You can watch it free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

Watch it here!
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YouTube Movie Review: Izzy Gets the F Accross Town (2017)

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I loved this movie. It has a great cast, a fun story, and an amazing soundtrack. Izzy Gets the F Across Town is the movie to watch if you liked Scott Pilgrim Vs The World. This movie has a similarly weird and spazzy narrative style. I did find its exploration of fate to be a bit pretentious, but I’ll let it slide because I loved the movie.

Izzy Gets the F Across Town is about a girl who tries to get to her ex-boyfriend’s engagement party to break it up. Izzy swears that she is destined to be with her ex, and is constantly sees signs that confirm this belief. Izzy’s journey is full of trials and tribulations as she makes her way across town. This journey forces Izzy to examine her life and work through her demons. It makes for an interesting and creative narrative.

That said, I don’t think this movie is for everyone. The narrative style is hyperactive, the characters are rude, and the plot is a bit pretentious. Its very punk and I loved it. If you love weird existential narratives about self-discovery, you can watch Izzy gets the F Across Town free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: The Sandlot

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I’ve been avoiding this movie for a while now. I loved this movie as a kid, I have very fond memories about it, but I was afraid that time might have been too kind to one of my favorite movies. There are a lot of movies from my childhood that I can’t bring myself to rewatch because I don’t want to ruin my memories of them. I know they were always bad movies, but I cherish the experience. I am happy to write that The Sandlot still holds up.

The Sandlot is told by an adult reflecting on events of his childhood. He is unreliable. Details might be misremembered, others might be embellished for the story, but it works perfectly for this narrative. Some of us look back on our childhood with a fondness that distorts our retelling. What might and might not have happened ultimately doesn’t matter because it is the emotions that exist within those memories that cherish. The games we played, the friends we made, and the adventures we had are all pieced together into an epic we carry with us. The actual events might not have been anything special, but the memories are. That is what this movie captures very well. 

The Sandlot does a great job of showing the grandeur of childhood. Before the big reveal at the end, the beast is portrayed as a giant blood-thirsty monster. A lot of the interactions between the kids and the best are these epic missions to retrieve the ball. It is only at the end, when they get the full story that the beast is no longer a monster but a sweet giant dog. This is what childhood is. A period full of wonder, urban legends, and adventures with your friends. I remember playing with my friends until the street lamps came on. I remember sharing a cigarette behind my middle school because we all wanted to look cool. This is why this movie still holds up. 

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Review: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence is a live-action adaption of Pinocchio set in the future. It features a great cast playing interesting characters in a cool-looking world. My only complaint is that it is a bit on the longer side. Some of the scenes are a bit drawn out, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. As far as live-action adaptions, this is easily one of the best. At the very least it is better than the recent Disney live-action movies. Cruella is possibly the only exception.

A.I. deals a lot with what makes someone human. It explores humanity through the eyes of a boy learning about the world set as an epic adventure. This adventure feels epic, full of challenges and intrigue. The world that Spielberg creates for this film is one you will want to explore. The colors, the noise, its inhabitants are all icing to an already solid movie. I can see the influence this movie has had in other films of the genres.

The adventure is the most important part of this movie. David learns about the cruelty of humanity, but he also learns love and compassion. He learns about lust and desire, but he also learns about love. It is an interesting attempt at defining humanity. But there is also that overarching criticism of society. Through David’s adventure, this movie tests the limits and bounds of human compassion. A.I. makes powerful criticisms about humanity in a spectacular way.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence was a solid movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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YouTube Movie Review: Clue (1985)

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I had a lot of fun watching Clue. This movie is cheesy and over the top, but it is a tone fitting for the narrative. I mean, who doesn’t love an over-the-top Tim Curry performance? The rest of the cast is fantastic! Each character is unique and memorable, and the way they work together truly sells this movie. The writing is also great! I am a huge fan of humor based on wordplay, and this has more than enough to satisfy my itch. I laughed through almost the entirety of this movie, despite the story being full of murder.

As far as movies based on board games go, this is great. It is better than Real Steel, and it is leagues better than Battleship. This movie gives me hope that maybe one day we can get a good movie that is based on a video game or board game that isn’t generic garbage. As far as murder mystery movies go, I think it is fine. It isn’t meant to be a serious installment of the genre, but it is a fine attempt. I don’t have too many examples to compare it to, but it was better than Murder on the Orient Express.

I don’t think this movie is for everyone. I think the cheesy tone and the jokes might be a bit much for some modern audiences. If you are a fan of murder mysteries, this might not be enough to scratch your itch either. It might not be serious enough. This is more for people who enjoy this era’s humor and enjoys hyperactive narrative. But it is free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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