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Movie Review: Little Big Soldier (2010)

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Little Big Soldier is one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies. This pseudo-historical twist on an unlikely buddy comedy is a journey you really need to consider. It is a hilarious adventure with a powerful and relevant message. I have watched this movie in both the original Cantonese and its English dubbing. While the dubbing is solid, I prefer the original because there is a lot of emotion that is lost in translation. Not that I understand any Cantonese.

Little Big Soldier is about a farmer who doesn’t want to be a soldier. He uses his wit to survive a bloody battle where he was able to capture an enemy general by chance. He is determined to turn in the enemy general to his own empire so that he may never have to fight in another war. The two start off as enemies, but will reluctantly become friends along the way. 

This movie is a reimagining of historical events, but it also aims to show how meaningless war is. While I can’t speak on its historical accuracy, the narrative is fantastic. The movie does a great job of showing the effects war has on some of the different groups of people in China. From the nomadic tribes to the wondering homeless trying to survive, everyone is affected by the decisions of a few greedy men. It is scary to think a single impulse or feud could uproot and destroy the lives of thousands of people. This movie makes some very powerful criticisms about war while at the same time being silly and entertaining.

You can watch this movie in Cantonese for free on YouTube. You can watch the English dubbing on Peacock with a subscription.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: The A Team (2010)

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This movie is a lot of fun. It has explosions, some decent action, and fun characters. The story is a little lacking, but you aren’t watching this movie for the story. You are watching this movie for chases, explosions, and gunfights. Although some of the action falls flat because of the shaky-cam, it redeems itself with its antics. What other movie involves people flying a plane? A bit of warning, you will need to suspend your disbelief a lot for this movie. The antics are not realistic, but they are cool non the less. 

My only issue with this movie is that it does try to drive its story. The plot twist is obvious, you will know the plot twist in the first 5 minutes. It is obvious. The movie will spend the rest of the time trying to hide this from its audience, but there is no need for so much misdirection. All this time could be used on more explosions and helicopter chases. Another weakness of this movie is how much it tries to tie in the original show. Some of the references, like Mr. T., feel forced and out of place. When Quinton wasn’t awkwardly adding “foo” to his dialect, he is a pretty cool character. 

Overall, if you are looking for a movie you can watch mindlessly, The A Team is a solid choice. This movie doesn’t need much investment, but you won’t hate having watched it. The story is simple, the action is fun, and the cast is solid. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The King’s Man (2021)

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I am not a huge fan of the series. Each movie in this series seems to miss its mark somehow, leaving us with a mediocre franchise. Kingsmen: The Secret Service has some decent action but the villain and story are bad. Kingsmen: The Golden Circle had a great villain, but the story and action were lacking. The Kings Man was bad all around and shouldn’t have been made. I can only assume that Kingsman: The Blue Blood will continue this trend of disappointing its audience.

While I do believe that the alternate history angle is creative, its execution is another generic action movie with a history lesson full of misinformation. This movie tries desperately to create lore for an IP that already doesn’t have a good story. Instead of an action-packed thriller, you get a boring back story and family drama.

What is sad is that this movie has some cool moments, but they only lead to further disappointment. Whenever this movie builds any momentum, it only devolves into any generic action movie you shouldn’t waste your time on. There is a cool scene in this movie where Conrad goes over the trenches to retrieve some intel from a fallen solder somewhere in the middle. They encounter a group of German soldiers who are doing the same thing. They can’t shoot for fear that they will be fired upon so they all draw bats and axes and ready for quiet close-quarter combat. It is a very cool shot, and I appreciated the costumes, weapons, and the desolate field. The build-up to this scene is perfectly tense, but the fight starts and it’s boring. The camera shakes around, and everyone dies before you even know what is going on. It was such a waste of a cool shot, but the perfect summary for this movie.

The best part about this movie is Rasputin. He is such a great character, it is a shame that he is wasted in this movie. His character is unique and quirky, and his fight scene is creative and so much fun to watch. I only wish that the rest of this movie carried the same energy and creativity as this fight scene. It isn’t worth you sitting through the whole movie, however, so I will leave a link to the scene below.

You shouldn’t waste your time with this movie. It doesn’t add anything to the franchise, but you can watch it on HBO if you have time to waste and a subscription to burn through.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Hackers (1995)

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Hackers has not aged well. The dialect, fashion, and story feel obsolete. Don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting characters but it is hard to get passed how cheesy the movie is. I would rather spend my time watching Wargames. It has a similar story but is done a lot better. If you’ve seen the live play D&D show “Critical Role,” they do an ad for Nord VPN where they parody and summarize this movie perfectly. I would rather watch that to be honest because it gets to the point a lot quicker than this movie. No meaningless dated graphics, no gibberish, and no forced romances.

My main issue with this movie is the gibberish. I don’t know anything about hacking computers, but I know that a lot of what goes on in this movie is made up. I don’t have a problem with movies that make up a language when the story is interesting. Unfortunately, the story takes so long to unfold that it leaves you with the time to process the nonsense, leaving these skilled hackers to seem less believable.

If you liked this movie when it first came out, you might enjoy the nostalgia. Otherwise, it is hard to ignore this movie’s many weaknesses. You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Review: Faster (2010)

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There are movies that are neither bad nor good. They exist in this weird limbo where they leave no impression. Faster is such a movie. While not one of Dwayne Johnson’s worst films, it doesn’t have much going for it. It takes its place as another forgettable revenge action movie, but one that is very light on the action.

I don’t expect action movies to have a good story, but I do expect the action to be entertaining. While some of the action is ok, I found myself rather bored by the repetitive narrative. Anytime this movie begins to build any momentum, it will cut to story arcs no one asks for. The hitman gets a back story, the cop gets a back story, some of the minor characters get back story and it becomes tedious. As far as twists go, the cop did it. As soon as the movie cuts to him it becomes obvious that he is behind the whole thing.

I think the main issue with this movie is that there isn’t anything interesting going on. The story is tedious at best. When you aren’t sitting through meaningless context, you are watching the Rock drive to his next target. With how much talking and driving there is in this movie, I’d rather watch the Fast and the Furious movies. You can watch it for free on YouTube, but I don’t think it’s worth it, to be honest.

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YouTube Movie Review: Rollerball (2002)

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Time has not been kind to Rollerball. The acting is bad, everything feels dated, and it is cheesy in the worst way. If you have fond memories of this movie from your youth, do not watch this. Cherish that memory because reality is very disappointing. There is no amount of nostalgia that will save this movie. The acting and story in this movie are terrible, which hurts the movie. I will excuse bad acting and storytelling if the movie is fun, but this movie is boring. Don’t be distracted by the sick stunts and explosions, nothing interesting happens in this movie. You get to sit through terrible line reads and a lead who is constantly throwing tantrums. I was not entertained.

I don’t know how it compares to the original, but this execution was terrible. Don’t waste your time here. There is nothing here for you. But if you don’t believe me, it is free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: Tank Girl (1995)

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This movie is based on a comic, but I haven’t read the comic. Instead, I will focus my review on just the movie.

I really wanted to like this movie. The movie is weird, quirky, and it has a lot of energy. But, this hyperactive and weird movie gets old very fast. Unless you love this adaptation of the character, you won’t find much worth in this movie. The plot is lazy, the world-building is almost non-existent, and there is a lot of filler.

There are parts of this movie that I liked. Some of the costumes are neat. Some of the jokes made me laugh, but there isn’t enough here to make it recommendable.

My biggest issue with this movie was the main character, at least the unwavering focus the film has on her. Tank girl is loud, quirky, and full of energy. Whatever charm she establishes in the first few minutes wears off soon after. She gets a little annoying. The main focus of this movie is to show off how quirky Tank Girl is at the cost of valuable plot development and world-building. There are a lot of scenes where she is just posing off her wacky outfit and even a changing montage when she should be doing anything to move the plot forward. At its bones, this movie is very bare.

This movie is loud and flashy but very boring. I wanted a narrative, I wanted memorable characters, and I wanted substance; but I didn’t get any of that. Instead, I got the promise of a good time. It is free on YouTube, but don’t waste your time. Maybe read the comic instead.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Pig (2021)

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You need to watch this movie! On paper, it doesn’t seem interesting, but in execution it is magnificent. Nicholas Cage shows the world his talent as an actor as he searches Portland for his missing pig. The plot of this movie is a lot more tame version of John Wick. Do not let the tame and subdued tone this movie takes dissuade you; it tells a very thrilling story. It is an exciting and engaging story, and Nick Cage doesn’t even throw a single punch.

The acting in this movie is great, resulting in some very moving and emotional scenes. A bit of warning, this movie is quiet. There is a lot of silence, but it is used effectively to create tension and suspense. If you are not at the edge of your seat through this whole ordeal, we didn’t watch the same movie.

If you have Hulu, watch it now! You won’t regret it.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Minority Report (2002)

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Here is a classic I believe that everyone should watch. The movie is a crime action set in the future. There is suspense, drama, and some great performances. In this movie, they have created a way to see crimes before they occur. Tom Cruise is accused of a precrime and now races against the clock to clear his name. You get thrilling chase scenes, crazy suspense, and some pretty awesome betrayal.

Please note that this is an older movie, and the CGI has not aged very well. Although it is not unwatchable, some scenes look dated and ugly.

But the visuals should not be a deterrent; the story is amazing. I love the arguments this movie makes about free will. If the precogs can accurately see the future, then everything we do is predetermined. If everything is predetermined, then we have no free will. We are merely playing out our programming. It brings into question how many choices we as humans have when it comes to our lives. Can we change our destiny? You will have to watch and come to your conclusions.

Watch this movie! It still holds up. I have seen this movie multiple times and it is still an exciting experience. Best of all, you can watch it free on YouTube!

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Valentine: The Dark Avenger (2017)

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Here we have a low-budget action movie that isn’t worth your time, even for free. The acting is terrible, the action scenes are boring, and the plot doesn’t make sense. I can excuse the lack of plot and poor acting in action movies when the action is fun to watch, but it’s impossible here. The main character doesn’t know how to fight. The fight scenes are shot with multiple cuts and a shacky camera to hide this fact. There is an unfunny scene in this movie where they are looking through possible candidates for the role of Violet. They make a big deal about throwing out all the ugly ones even though they know how to fight. I take issue with this because why does it matter if they are ugly if the goal is to fight crime? I wish they would hire action stars based on ability rather than looks because the action would be fun to watch. But then it wouldn’t be marketable.

The movie takes place in a city plagued with crime. A man with a tragic past recruits a woman to be the hero the city needs. The movie would have ended a lot sooner if anyone had a gun. Instead, you get overacted long chase scenes, boring fight scenes, and useless exposition dumps. And when the twist comes, because there has to be a twist, it was obvious and unimpressive. I can’t recommend this movie, even if it is free. Spend your time and energy on better things.

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