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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Here After (2020)

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I had to think hard about whether or not I liked this movie. While it does have its moments, they are overshadowed by this movie’s lazy writing. Here After is one of the laziest romantic comedies I have ever seen. 

Here After is about a romance between a ghost and a living woman. The movie deals with relationships, love, and the afterlife, but it does so ineffectively. It gets incredibly hard to watch with how hard it tries to be a sappy love story.

A lot of the narrative exists within pretentious conversations about life, death, and love. While there are some quirky and fun scenes, the whole movie doesn’t carry this energy. Instead, it becomes another generic and predictable love story. Its desperate attempts to be different sadly cannot hide the fact that this love story has been told better elsewhere.

Micheal and Honey Bee fall in love, but can’t be together. Obviously, this movie will build up a romantic journey just to have Honey Bee die at the end. They have to end up together forever somehow. What makes this movie incredibly lazy is that the only reason that the two can interact is that Honey Bee is also conveniently dying. It’s hard to believe that in New York City, these two can find each other by chance.

My biggest problem with this movie is the inconsistency of the rules for the afterlife. These rules seem to change to fit the narrative or are overlooked by its bad writing. The movie sets up that people cannot die alone. Instead, those who die alone must find a soul mate before they can cross over. Cross over to what? The movie doesn’t specify.

So what are the rules? A soul mate is strictly a romantic partner. What happens to asexual people? Narcissists? What happens if I die and I become best friends with someone? Can we cross over as bros? I love my wife. She is my soulmate. If I die before her, do I automatically pass over? What if she remarries? Do I get yanked out of the other side, forced to seek out a new soul mate?

When a person becomes a ghost, he is removed from all his distracting feelings. These change depending on what the story needs to be, but lust seems to be constant. A ghost whose mind isn’t clouded by a desire for sex is free to find his true love. There are lines of dialogue that contradict this, but no one’s paying that close attention. The ghosts still roam the Earth, but can’t touch or affect the physical world or living people. Unless of course, it is alcohol, glasses containing alcohol, books, and your true love. Like everything, this will change if the plot needs to move forward or there needs to be a cheap laugh.

I am clearly overanalyzing a movie that doesn’t deserve it. I can’t recommend this movie. It is pretentious, lazy, and inconsistent. Even if you like these kinds of movies, I don’t find this love story to be all that inspiring. Micheal has to be reprogrammed in order to find Honey Bee, what happens when he gets those feelings back? Anyways, you can find this movie on YouTube for free. Oh and if you are watching this for Christina Ricci, she is barely in the movie. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Apartment 1303 (2012)

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You can watch Apartment 1303 for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. The acting is terrible, the sound is bad, and the story isn’t interesting. The movie focuses on two sisters who move into apartment 1303 to get away from a drunk and abusive mother. They live in this apartment at different times, but both will experience the ominous presence of the ghosts that live there. It makes me wonder how this complex exists when half the residents are ghosts. 

Apartment 1303 fails as a horror movie in every regard. The poor acting and lack of any emotion kill any suspense this poorly written movie could have had. Its garbage sound mixing means you hear every breath and rustling in the background, and it gets distracting. The soundtrack is played on a speaker one room over, and once from a pair of wireless headphones. The plot is full of holes and continuity errors. There are lines of dialogue that contradict themselves in the same breath. This movie is lazy, boring, and a huge waste of time.

I do, however, want to take a moment to overanalyze the plot a bit. Usually, in horror movies, a character will make frustratingly incompetent choices that lead to their demise, like staying in an apartment everyone says is haunted. In this movie, I don’t blame the characters for not leaving the apartment. Apartment 1303 is a one-bedroom high-rise apartment in downtown Detroit that is definitely nicer and bigger than the one I am currently living in. The rent was only $700 a month with a full kitchen, a large living room, a full-sized bathtub, and a balcony with a nice view of the lake. I could put aside my fear of ghosts for $700 of rent. The sisters were also escaping an abusive mother who was desperately clinging to her failed career as a singer. I would choose the ghost too, especially after hearing her music. This movie is dumb, but living in the haunted apartment is blameless.

Anyways, this movie is free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Little Big Soldier (2010)

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Little Big Soldier is one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies. This pseudo-historical twist on an unlikely buddy comedy is a journey you really need to consider. It is a hilarious adventure with a powerful and relevant message. I have watched this movie in both the original Cantonese and its English dubbing. While the dubbing is solid, I prefer the original because there is a lot of emotion that is lost in translation. Not that I understand any Cantonese.

Little Big Soldier is about a farmer who doesn’t want to be a soldier. He uses his wit to survive a bloody battle where he was able to capture an enemy general by chance. He is determined to turn in the enemy general to his own empire so that he may never have to fight in another war. The two start off as enemies, but will reluctantly become friends along the way. 

This movie is a reimagining of historical events, but it also aims to show how meaningless war is. While I can’t speak on its historical accuracy, the narrative is fantastic. The movie does a great job of showing the effects war has on some of the different groups of people in China. From the nomadic tribes to the wondering homeless trying to survive, everyone is affected by the decisions of a few greedy men. It is scary to think a single impulse or feud could uproot and destroy the lives of thousands of people. This movie makes some very powerful criticisms about war while at the same time being silly and entertaining.

You can watch this movie in Cantonese for free on YouTube. You can watch the English dubbing on Peacock with a subscription.

Series Reviews

TV Series Review: Julia (2022)

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Julia is a very wholesome show that you should be binging right now! If you are a fan of Ted Lasso, you will adore Julia. I am not a huge fan of biopics, but this definitely has changed my opinion. It is well cast, wonderfully written, and beautifully shot. You should not waste another minute with me, but instead, be watching this show.

Julia is the retelling of the rise of Julia Child’s career. It is quirky, fun, and inspiring. I never grew up with her cooking show, but this show made me feel guilty that I didn’t. The energy and wholesomeness that these actors put into their performances are intoxicating. If you are not smiling by the end of an episode, there is something wrong with you. My only warning for you is: do not watch this show while hungry. Every episode had me craving a bite of whatever Julia was making or eating.

I can’t speak on the show’s historical accuracy, but the story is truly inspiring. If you do not love Julia for her warm and bubbly personality, you will love her for her perseverance. Julia is constantly being overlooked because of her gender, and it is inspiring to see her push through and make her dreams come true. 

You need to watch this show. You can watch it on HBO. The last episode airs on May 5th,2022. If you don’t have a subscription, get one then. It is well worth the binge. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: The Inherited (2016)

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I didn’t know Lifetime made horror movies, but here we have the oddest ghost story you probably shouldn’t watch. I had to take multiple breaks to get through this movie, and it wasn’t worth it. The acting is very stiff and awkward. This kills all suspense; horror movies rely heavily on good suspenseful buildup. At least there aren’t any cheap jump scares. If there are jump scares, they are so poorly done that I didn’t notice. This is a very incompetent movie. The story is full of holes, and it never knows what it wants to be. Is this a movie about murder? A haunting? Spousal abuse? It is dumber than you could imagine.

The inherited is about a newly-wed couple who move into a mansion that the husband inherits. There is something sinister in the house, and it is Tom, the husband. The ghost of Tom’s ex-wife still roams the house, but the worst thing she does is try to open locked doors. Tom, on the other hand, is short-tempered and aggressive. There are a lot of red flags in this relationship, and it is not because the house is haunted. There is a scene in this movie where he is on the verge of hitting Eve because she was voicing that she felt unsafe in the house. I was more worried that Eve was stuck in an abusive relationship than anything the ghost could have done. 

This movie never figures out what it wants to be. It sets up an ominous town with creepy citizens like in Get Out, but they don’t do anything. After investigating Tom’s past, it is implied that he might have murdered his ex-wife, but he didn’t. There is a ghost in the house, but she doesn’t do anything sinester either. It takes an hour for this movie to remember it is horror and by then, there are only 20 minutes left. 

Eve is a dumb character. With possible murder on the table, Eve still doesn’t leave a clearly abusive husband. She gets poisoned, and she still decides to stay and work things out.Then there is ghost who roams the halls. You find out that its the ghost of the ex-wife. This is possibly the most helpful ghost in cinema since Casper. This ghost talks to Eve when she is lonely and even helps with the housework. It is no wonder that in the end, after Tom is murdered, Eve decides to co-parent a child with the ghost. Eve wins this movie. She gets a huge train money inheritance, a nice mansion, and a family. What more can a girl ask for? 

This movie is bonkers, but not in a fun way. It moves too slowly and the acting is terrible. It is free on YouTube, but I would honestly skip it.

Watch it Here!
Series Reviews

Halo Series Revisited

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Now that I have seen more episodes of the Halo series, I want to revisit my initial assessment. Halo is a good show if you have never seen a sci-fi show before. Otherwise, it is a generic and unimpressive attempt at sci-fi with a halo skin. If you are a fan of the game, don’t bother. It has been a while since I’ve played any of the campaigns, but even I can see that this isn’t the show you were hoping for.

My biggest issue with this show is that none of its narratives are interesting. I don’t care about the space pirates, the UNSC, the spartan project, the rebellions, or the covenant. Every storyline serves as a reminder to the audience of a better show they could be watching. The build-up to the inevitable release of the flood is so drawn out that it left me apathetic to its various important story beats. This is the flashiest show you won’t care about.

The only good that comes from this show is some of the designs. Some of the costumes, weapons, and monsters are cool to see on screen. The problem is that they rely too heavily on the audience having rudimentary knowledge about the series. There are moments where the story stops to show off its famous iconography, but it does little to the story. Instead, they are shameless reminders that this show is somehow Halo, despite how far it has diverted from its source.

 If you are a fan of sci-fi, don’t waste your time. If you are new to sci-fi, there are better ones out there. Watch Star Wars Rebels if you want something with a familiar IP that is well done. But for those who don’t believe me, watch it over on Paramount plus.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Wolf Hour (2019)

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The Wolf Hour is a depressing and anxiety-inducing representation of the writing process. The film focuses on June and her descent into madness as she attempts to write her next big hit. June has isolated herself from the world, fearing to leave her apartment. The movie does a great job at manifesting June’s anxiety, loneliness, depression, and even desperation as she fails to find the words for her next book. The movie does a great job at blurring reality and imagination as June’s time in isolation has loosened her grip on reality. It is unclear what is real and what June imagines, making the movie seem more sinister than it is.

I love the insanity of this movie. The unreliable perspective of the narrative gives the movie its much-appreciated mystery. The acting is fantastic. I loved its dark and dirty setting. This subtly trippy representation of trying to write something great is so accurate that I shared in June’s anxiety. I loved everything about this movie. I could go on about all the symbolism and metaphors, but I will leave that for you to discover on your own. 

You can watch this movie on Amazon Video with A Prime Membership. It is also free on Tubi, PlutoTV, and Vudu.

Series Reviews

TV Series Review: The White Lotus (2021)

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You should watch White Lotus because it is a great show. The pacing is a bit slow and some of the arguments get repetitive, but the narrative is well put together. White Lotus has fantastic actors giving wonderful performances in a beautiful setting, what more can you ask for? A fair bit of warning, however, this show gets sad. The ending triggered me. I found myself depressed for a few days after I finished the show. Experiences may vary, but I felt an obligation to issue the warning.

White Lotus follows four groups of people who are either on vacation or working at the resort in Hawaii. It is a modern-day tragedy of the working class as told by the experiences of disconnected rich white people. The main goal of the narrative is to show the disparities between classes against the backdrop of a vacation. Both groups are stuck in a cycle, but the rich get to leave and move on. It is very well done, and I fear I am not doing it justice. 

I love the complexity of this show and how it weaves together all these different stories. I love that by the end, everyone is stuck, although some are worse off than others. I love that it comes in the form of a mystery that they keep well through the whole series. Although the mystery isn’t the most important aspect of the narrative, it is very much appreciated. This is a great show and you need to watch it. Check it out on HBO.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Tommy Boy (1995)

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Tommy Boy remains a classic Chris Farley comedy. While it does suffer a bit from the ravages of time, it still holds up well. Sure, some of the jokes don’t land, and the story is a little basic, but it is still a solid comedy that had me crying from laughter.

It goes without saying, Chris Farley was a treasure and this movie is a great example of why. The charisma and energy he brings to his performances remain unparalleled. It saddens me that we didn’t get to see his career evolve.

I do take issue where the joke is that he is the fat guy. I never thought those jokes were funny. This one doesn’t have too many, but it has enough where I have to say something. He is a funny guy, and weight has nothing to do with it. I do love the chemistry that Farley and Spade share. The only reason this movie works is that they play off each other so well. 

If you are in the mood for a classic comedy that still holds up, you can find this free on YouTube.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: No Clue (2013)

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No Clue is a fun and quirky parody of the detective noir genre. It is similar to the Naked Gun series but less suave and more dorky. The movie is about a dorky pen salesman who gets hired as a PI by a mysterious woman. Now he must use the little skills he has to solve a murder and an overarching conspiracy.

I loved this movie, but I am a sucker for the dorky kind of comedy that is this movie. This movie isn’t for everyone. The jokes are cheesy and can be a little cringey, but Brent Bunt has the charisma (or lack of) to make it work. A lot of the comedy relies on Leo being aloof. The humor comes from his constant miscommunication and stammering awkwardness. Leo has no clue what he is doing, and he will fumble his way through this mystery. It isn’t perfect. Some of the acting is awkward, some of the writing is bad, and not all of the jokes land. But this movie has its own awkward charm as there are some genuinely funny moments. Then again, I am a huge fan of awkward comedy and dad jokes.

I would say, if you like comedy that is based on wordplay and misunderstandings, it is a safe bet. But if you don’t like Leo as a character, this is going to be a rough sit. You can watch it on Amazon Video with a Prime membership.