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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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Confessions of a Shopaholic is a very middle-of-the-road movie that doesn’t have much going for it. Sure the cast is great, but the story lacks anything worthwhile. If I am being honest, it is very bland despite it having a colorful obsession. The movie plays like a bad fantasy, and your time is better spent elsewhere.

My biggest issue with this movie is its main character. Isla Fisher does the best she can with what she is given, but her character lacks depth. Rebecca is this Mary Sue character who happens to be addicted to shopping. The way they depict shopping addiction was fun and creative, but that creativity is missing from the rest of the movie. Instead, you have this character that is destined to have a happy ending. The whole world is there to support Rebecca, but they never get the reason as to why. As a result, none of the meaningful moments are earned. It is hard to care about a character who doesn’t face any adversities. Instead, Rebecca faces inconveniences. She doesn’t get the job she wants, but she becomes a world-renowned author with just one article. She finds the love of her life because the script says so. She is even able to settle her crippling debt by selling her junk. This movie ends with Rebecca not learning anything but getting everything she didn’t know she wanted. 

There is a lot more I want to say about this movie, but I don’t want to waste your time with a movie that isn’t worth your time. There are better movies of this genre you can watch instead. But for those of you who are still interested, you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Series Reviews

TV Series Review: Upload Season 2

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I need to revisit my initial review of this show because of how disappointing the second season is. The second season of Upload is full of plot holes, filler, and bad acting. There seems to be a trend with shows that go to streaming where they are made too long to be watchable. You see this a lot with those true crime docuseries. Instead of a meaningful story, you get filler. Filler served its purpose when shows were released weekly, but filler has no place in streaming. Filler is the death of good storytelling. The second season of Upload is more filler than story. 

I enjoyed the first season of Upload. It is a cheesy love story that explores philosophies about life, death, and personality. It isn’t revolutionary, but it has its charm. All of this charm is gone. The second season turns into a generic and boring spy thriller with a plot riddled with plot holes and obvious twists. There is maybe an hour of meaningful content within the second season; the rest is boring filler. Any growth or interesting plot points made in the first season are forgotten and replaced with a story that isn’t worth your time. The characters are unlikable, the holes are too many to ignore, and there isn’t anything to care about. I don’t care about Nathan and Nora’s relationship. I don’t care about this weird rebellion that is brewing. I don’t care about who killed Nathan, and that is a huge plot point in the first season. I don’t care because everything takes so long to happen that I lost interest. The only reason I stuck with this show was that I loved Ingrid’s character arc.

Ingrid had the best character development until it is ruined by mediocrity. In the first season, Ingrid is presented as this shallow, entitled, and vain character, but there are meaningful moments where she allows herself to be vulnerable and be compassionate. You learn that her attitude results from her complicated relationship with her family. In the second season, Ingrid begins to do a lot of self-reflection. She begins to work through the guilt she has about Nathan’s death. Ingrid realizes that she is alone, and her personality is to blame. There are powerful moments in this season where she begins to grow as a character as she learns from her experience. She even expresses a desire to become more compassionate, loving, and motherly. The tragedy of Ingrid is that she wants someone to love her as much as she loves Nathan. 

I really thought this show would have her become a more complex character as she works through her flaws. I wanted her to realize that she doesn’t need the approval of her family or Nathan to be happy. She could have had interesting character growth, but she doesn’t. Instead, they make her the crazy obsessive ex-girlfriend. There is also a clone of Nathan now because the writers want to lazily set up an ending where everyone ends up with their true love. Gag. There is no risk, no tension, so why does it matter?

Don’t waste your time on this show. It isn’t worth your time or your data.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Status Update (2018)

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Status Update is another wish movie. We’ve seen this before; the main character gets the power to make wishes. He wishes for everything he thinks he wants but somehow is still unhappy. It is only after he realizes that he has to be true to himself to be happy. It helps that he wished for a great singing voice and the ability to work a stage.

Status update is generic. You have the chubby comic relief best friend, the misunderstood lead, the jerk jock, and the artsy girl who writes her own music. None of them are memorable. It is full of cheesy eye-rolling moments and fake deep commentary about the fakeness of social media. As far as wish movies go, this one is average. The plot is ok, the music is fine, but the acting is solid. The cast is the only good thing about this movie. This cast deserves a better movie. There are few scenes in this movie that work only because of the actor’s charisma. It’s not a terrible movie, but you can spend your time watching a better movie.

If you’ve exhausted all of your other options, and need something to watch, you won’t hate this movie. It’s okay, but other movies do this plot better. This is a great movie to throw on if you don’t want to pay attention to it, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. But hey? You can watch it free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A Good Woman (2004)

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I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a solid cast who give great performances, and the writing is excellent. If you like romance movies, this is a complicated one full of wit, drama, and misunderstandings that’s easy to enjoy. If you are a fan of the 20’s era aesthetic, there is enough in it to satisfy most audiences. If you are only looking for something to watch, I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.

A Good Woman is about a newlyweds trip to Italy. All seems fine until gossip and desire place a strain on their relationship. The movie focuses on a group of social elites who have too much time on their hands. The overall message isn’t wholly universal, but it does address some important topics. The film is an exploration of the relationship between man and woman. What is acceptable differs based on gender. Men can cheat and have mistresses, while women must accept this fact and hate the mistress. A man can’t be friends with a woman, things of that nature. It doesn’t go deep enough, but at least there is an attempt. This movie is framed as a fantasy, so expect a lot of the lessons learned to be superficial. You can only do so much with out-of-touch characters.

That said, it is a good movie full of lots of witty banter. I recommend it, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Turning Red (2022)

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Turning Red is the perfect coming-of-age movie. It has fun and quirky characters, a cute story, and the song will get stuck in your head. Turning Red is a wonderful story of dealing with the changes of puberty and the pressures of clashing cultures. Mei has always been the ideal daughter, doing what she is told and working hard to make her family proud, but Mei also has desires and likes outside of these traditions. This movie does a great job at showing this constant struggle as Mei comes to the age where she wants to find herself. Is she the traditional little girl her mother wants her to be, a quirky Canadian teen, or is she a mixture of both? It is a wonderful exploration of identity accompanied by catchy boy band music.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I urge you to stop what you are doing and watch it now! Turning Red is an excellent example of how great Disney movies can be. Plus cute Red Pandas. Turning Red is available for streaming on Disney+.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Lantern’s Lane (2021)

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Do not waste your time on this terrible movie. The camera work, the plot, the acting, and the big reveal are irredeemably bad. There is nothing worth watching in this movie.

Lantern’s lane is about a girl who returns to her rural home town where she reunites with friends from high school. Bitter that she hasn’t returned, her friends attempt to play a prank on her by scaring her. Things turn sour when a killer starts hunting them instead. The mom and daughter from the opening scene are the killers. This movie spoils its ending in the first five minutes of play time with its terrible acting and camera work. Lantern’s Lane is a great example of a filmmaker who is trying way too hard to be symbolic. This movie is full of obvious foreshadowing that ruins any tension that this movie could have had. Not that anything of note ever happens. It takes a whole hour before the horror element comes into play, but it doesn’t matter because you already know who the killer is.

Instead, you are forced to sit through terribly read high school drama no one asked for. I don’t know which is worse, the acting or the writing. I don’t think anyone involved with the making of this movie has ever talked to a real person before. The dialogue in this movie is unreal. You can mash your keyboard right now, and the outcome would be better dialogue.

And the editing of this movie? I don’t think there is a single scene in this movie that isn’t a collection of shots lazily pieced together. There are more cuts in a scene of simple dialogue than there are in an MCU fight scene. Disney cuts fight scenes to hide the fact that the actors can’t fight. This movie does it to hide the fact that they can’t act. There are moments of dialogue where there is a 5-second delay before an actor responds to what was just said. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actors weren’t competent enough to remember simple dialogue. 

Don’t waste your time with this movie. Even if you like watching bad movies for fun, there’s nothing here for you. It isn’t worth sitting through because nothing happens. You don’t even get to see anyone die. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Hulu.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence is a live-action adaption of Pinocchio set in the future. It features a great cast playing interesting characters in a cool-looking world. My only complaint is that it is a bit on the longer side. Some of the scenes are a bit drawn out, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. As far as live-action adaptions, this is easily one of the best. At the very least it is better than the recent Disney live-action movies. Cruella is possibly the only exception.

A.I. deals a lot with what makes someone human. It explores humanity through the eyes of a boy learning about the world set as an epic adventure. This adventure feels epic, full of challenges and intrigue. The world that Spielberg creates for this film is one you will want to explore. The colors, the noise, its inhabitants are all icing to an already solid movie. I can see the influence this movie has had in other films of the genres.

The adventure is the most important part of this movie. David learns about the cruelty of humanity, but he also learns love and compassion. He learns about lust and desire, but he also learns about love. It is an interesting attempt at defining humanity. But there is also that overarching criticism of society. Through David’s adventure, this movie tests the limits and bounds of human compassion. A.I. makes powerful criticisms about humanity in a spectacular way.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence was a solid movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: The Duchess (2008)

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I have an indifference when it comes to period movies or TV shows. I don’t generally seek them out, but I don’t have any real problem with them. I feel this same indifference about The Duchess. It is a pretty average movie that didn’t leave much of an impression on me. If you like period movies, I think it is a pretty solid one. The acting is great, the costumes are pretty, but the story leaves a lot to be desired. This movie is based on real events, and my disappointments come with the restrictions that come with it.

I loved the first half of this movie. I love G as a character. She is witty, charismatic, and I loved her outfits. The costumes in this movie are easily my favorite part. The second half is where I lost interest because the movie slows down too much to be enjoyable. It does make sense in context, and I understand why they did it. At the start of the film, G makes the best of her situation. She gets involved in politics, goes to parties, takes on the role she is supposed to take with a smile. In the 2nd act, when the movie slows down, she can no longer live with her unhappiness. It makes sense that there are no more parties. It makes sense that she can no longer smile. It makes sense that everything is so slow. It is done well enough, but it is much too slow for the average audience.

I can only recommend this movie if you like period movies. I can’t speak on how accurate it is to the period, but it’ll be enough for casuals. Other than that, it isn’t really worth it. It isn’t bad; it is just okay. It is still better than The Last Duel. For those interested, it is free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Legally Blonde (2001)

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Legally Blonde is free on YouTube. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? It is a great movie with a fantastic cast and a great story. Without question, it is easily one of my favorite movies. The sequels are also available on YouTube, but I can’t speak on how good they are. It has been a while since I’ve seen those.

This movie made a huge impact on me when I watched it in my youth. Although I am a strait Mexican-American male, I empathized with a lot of Elle’s struggles. My whole life people do not take me seriously because of how I look and speak. I find that I am constantly being judged for my appearance and interests. I have to constantly prove myself to people because most think I am just some dumb Mexican kid. I was Elle’s strength and perseverance. Although our struggles are completely different and Elle has advantages that I don’t, I know what it feels like to be dismissed because of my appearance. I know what it feels like to constantly have to prove myself. It hurts when people think I am dumb. It hurts when people are shocked that I can speak English or that I study for tests. This movie helped me deal with a lot of that. 

I will be so bold as to say that this movie is a timeless classic. It has a strong and capable female lead who goes on a journey where she experiences growth. The issues she experiences are relatable. The lessons it teaches are important. If you haven’t seen this, add it to your list. For the rest of you, it’s free!

Watch it Here!
Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: The VelociPastor (2019)

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I loved this movie, but I can’t recommend it. It’s not good. The VelociPastor was made for a certain type of audience, but it wasn’t a mainstream audience. Unless you love watching bad cheesy movies for fun, you are going to have a bad time.

The VelociPastor is about a Catholic priest who has lost his faith. He goes on a pilgrimage to find his faith, but he finds the power to turn into a raptor instead. With the help of a prostitute, he uses his powers to fight an origination of evil ninja. It is insane and I loved almost every minute of it.

Again, this movie isn’t for everyone. The writing is bad, the fight scenes are cheesy, and the costumes and special effects are terrible. This movie looks like it was shot at someone’s house. That said, the acting was surprisingly good, the soundtrack was great, and the sound was amazing. It is often the case with low-budget movies like this for the sound to be awful. I’ve seen movies where dialogue is barely audible or full of reverb. The VelociPastor has its sound on point and I appreciate the filmmakers for it. I can forgive bad acting and terrible special effects, but the sound is hard to overlook. That said, a normal audience will not enjoy this movie.

I am not normal, and I enjoy watching bad movies. I loved this movie for what it is, a goofy attempt at a polymorphing action movie. The one-liners, the costumes, the action scenes, and the big twist at the end were all very much appreciated. It does slow down towards the middle, I think they were running out of ideas, but they were able to bring me back in with a grand finale. This is easily my favorite bad movie. 

If you like making fun of bad movies, check this out. For the rest of you, it’s hard to recommend. The lack of structure and overall goofiness isn’t for everyone. If you are interested in watching The VelociPastor, do not take it seriously. Have fun with it. You can watch it if you have an Amazon Prime membership.