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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: School Spirits (2017)

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School Spirits is a kids/young adult movie about ghost hunting. The plot and acting are pretty good for a kids’ movie. This movie is a little slow at points, but I didn’t hate it. There is some cartoonish over-acting, and some awkward line reads, but it is a kids’ movie. There is also a bit of ex machina, but that is expected.

As far as kids’ movies go, this one isn’t annoying. The characters are a bit on the quirky side, but I never felt like they were trying too hard. I was never annoyed, even by the more cartoonish characters. School Spirits is about a group of teen girls who hunt ghosts to help them cross over. You have the tough one, the smart one, and the spiritual one. The movie does a decent job at making the main characters complex enough that they aren’t boring archetypes. Some tropes are still present. The girls work well together and were overall a positive representation. I like that this movie doesn’t fall into the overbearing girl power trap some of these movies tend to do. Every other line isn’t devoted to reminding the audience that these are girls and they are capable. Instead, the movie spends time developing plot points and character arcs well enough. I liked this ghost hunting group, and I was invested in their adventure.

I can’t recommend this movie unless you are a kid or looking for a kids’ movie. As far as kids’ movies go, this one is solid. The plot is simple, the acting is fine, but unless you are the target audience, it isn’t going to make much of an impression. Don’t get me wrong, if you are forced to sit through this, you won’t hate it, but I wouldn’t seek it out. 

You can watch this on Amazon Video if you have a Prime Membership. 

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Picture This (2008)

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You should not watch Picture This. I don’t even know where to begin with this film. Picture This is a poorly written fantasy of the boring girl getting with the hot guy. It was a struggle getting through this movie, but somehow I found the strength.

Picture This is about a boring high school girl who likes the hottest guy in school. Her only defining characteristic is that she loves the hot guy. Through the power of shitty writing, the hot guy likes her too. The movie is a quest to meet up with the hot boy at the end of the film without her dad finding out. Oh, and the hot boy likes photography. Does that impact the plot? No, but the movie makes a big deal about that, hence the namesake.

This movie is poorly written, it has a decent cast, but they are doing the best they can with what they are given. The whole movie is a series of reactions to the different generic story beats before the girl gets the guy at the end. There are millions of these movies out there, you will forget you watched this too. I can’t name you a single character or attempt to give you any meaningful moments because of how generic this movie is. This movie tries to distract its audience with complicated vocabulary and awkward Chaucer references, but there is no hiding the fact that this is a bad movie.

I know that this is a kids’ movie, and maybe I should give it some slack, but I can not. Your kid’s time is too valuable to be wasted on this movie. Your time is way too valuable. It is free on YouTube, but that price tag is still too high. Skip it.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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Confessions of a Shopaholic is a very middle-of-the-road movie that doesn’t have much going for it. Sure the cast is great, but the story lacks anything worthwhile. If I am being honest, it is very bland despite it having a colorful obsession. The movie plays like a bad fantasy, and your time is better spent elsewhere.

My biggest issue with this movie is its main character. Isla Fisher does the best she can with what she is given, but her character lacks depth. Rebecca is this Mary Sue character who happens to be addicted to shopping. The way they depict shopping addiction was fun and creative, but that creativity is missing from the rest of the movie. Instead, you have this character that is destined to have a happy ending. The whole world is there to support Rebecca, but they never get the reason as to why. As a result, none of the meaningful moments are earned. It is hard to care about a character who doesn’t face any adversities. Instead, Rebecca faces inconveniences. She doesn’t get the job she wants, but she becomes a world-renowned author with just one article. She finds the love of her life because the script says so. She is even able to settle her crippling debt by selling her junk. This movie ends with Rebecca not learning anything but getting everything she didn’t know she wanted. 

There is a lot more I want to say about this movie, but I don’t want to waste your time with a movie that isn’t worth your time. There are better movies of this genre you can watch instead. But for those of you who are still interested, you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: Status Update (2018)

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Status Update is another wish movie. We’ve seen this before; the main character gets the power to make wishes. He wishes for everything he thinks he wants but somehow is still unhappy. It is only after he realizes that he has to be true to himself to be happy. It helps that he wished for a great singing voice and the ability to work a stage.

Status update is generic. You have the chubby comic relief best friend, the misunderstood lead, the jerk jock, and the artsy girl who writes her own music. None of them are memorable. It is full of cheesy eye-rolling moments and fake deep commentary about the fakeness of social media. As far as wish movies go, this one is average. The plot is ok, the music is fine, but the acting is solid. The cast is the only good thing about this movie. This cast deserves a better movie. There are few scenes in this movie that work only because of the actor’s charisma. It’s not a terrible movie, but you can spend your time watching a better movie.

If you’ve exhausted all of your other options, and need something to watch, you won’t hate this movie. It’s okay, but other movies do this plot better. This is a great movie to throw on if you don’t want to pay attention to it, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. But hey? You can watch it free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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YouTube Movie Reviews: The Sandlot

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I’ve been avoiding this movie for a while now. I loved this movie as a kid, I have very fond memories about it, but I was afraid that time might have been too kind to one of my favorite movies. There are a lot of movies from my childhood that I can’t bring myself to rewatch because I don’t want to ruin my memories of them. I know they were always bad movies, but I cherish the experience. I am happy to write that The Sandlot still holds up.

The Sandlot is told by an adult reflecting on events of his childhood. He is unreliable. Details might be misremembered, others might be embellished for the story, but it works perfectly for this narrative. Some of us look back on our childhood with a fondness that distorts our retelling. What might and might not have happened ultimately doesn’t matter because it is the emotions that exist within those memories that cherish. The games we played, the friends we made, and the adventures we had are all pieced together into an epic we carry with us. The actual events might not have been anything special, but the memories are. That is what this movie captures very well. 

The Sandlot does a great job of showing the grandeur of childhood. Before the big reveal at the end, the beast is portrayed as a giant blood-thirsty monster. A lot of the interactions between the kids and the best are these epic missions to retrieve the ball. It is only at the end, when they get the full story that the beast is no longer a monster but a sweet giant dog. This is what childhood is. A period full of wonder, urban legends, and adventures with your friends. I remember playing with my friends until the street lamps came on. I remember sharing a cigarette behind my middle school because we all wanted to look cool. This is why this movie still holds up. 

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A Good Woman (2004)

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I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a solid cast who give great performances, and the writing is excellent. If you like romance movies, this is a complicated one full of wit, drama, and misunderstandings that’s easy to enjoy. If you are a fan of the 20’s era aesthetic, there is enough in it to satisfy most audiences. If you are only looking for something to watch, I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.

A Good Woman is about a newlyweds trip to Italy. All seems fine until gossip and desire place a strain on their relationship. The movie focuses on a group of social elites who have too much time on their hands. The overall message isn’t wholly universal, but it does address some important topics. The film is an exploration of the relationship between man and woman. What is acceptable differs based on gender. Men can cheat and have mistresses, while women must accept this fact and hate the mistress. A man can’t be friends with a woman, things of that nature. It doesn’t go deep enough, but at least there is an attempt. This movie is framed as a fantasy, so expect a lot of the lessons learned to be superficial. You can only do so much with out-of-touch characters.

That said, it is a good movie full of lots of witty banter. I recommend it, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Turning Red (2022)

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Turning Red is the perfect coming-of-age movie. It has fun and quirky characters, a cute story, and the song will get stuck in your head. Turning Red is a wonderful story of dealing with the changes of puberty and the pressures of clashing cultures. Mei has always been the ideal daughter, doing what she is told and working hard to make her family proud, but Mei also has desires and likes outside of these traditions. This movie does a great job at showing this constant struggle as Mei comes to the age where she wants to find herself. Is she the traditional little girl her mother wants her to be, a quirky Canadian teen, or is she a mixture of both? It is a wonderful exploration of identity accompanied by catchy boy band music.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I urge you to stop what you are doing and watch it now! Turning Red is an excellent example of how great Disney movies can be. Plus cute Red Pandas. Turning Red is available for streaming on Disney+.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Lantern’s Lane (2021)

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Do not waste your time on this terrible movie. The camera work, the plot, the acting, and the big reveal are irredeemably bad. There is nothing worth watching in this movie.

Lantern’s lane is about a girl who returns to her rural home town where she reunites with friends from high school. Bitter that she hasn’t returned, her friends attempt to play a prank on her by scaring her. Things turn sour when a killer starts hunting them instead. The mom and daughter from the opening scene are the killers. This movie spoils its ending in the first five minutes of play time with its terrible acting and camera work. Lantern’s Lane is a great example of a filmmaker who is trying way too hard to be symbolic. This movie is full of obvious foreshadowing that ruins any tension that this movie could have had. Not that anything of note ever happens. It takes a whole hour before the horror element comes into play, but it doesn’t matter because you already know who the killer is.

Instead, you are forced to sit through terribly read high school drama no one asked for. I don’t know which is worse, the acting or the writing. I don’t think anyone involved with the making of this movie has ever talked to a real person before. The dialogue in this movie is unreal. You can mash your keyboard right now, and the outcome would be better dialogue.

And the editing of this movie? I don’t think there is a single scene in this movie that isn’t a collection of shots lazily pieced together. There are more cuts in a scene of simple dialogue than there are in an MCU fight scene. Disney cuts fight scenes to hide the fact that the actors can’t fight. This movie does it to hide the fact that they can’t act. There are moments of dialogue where there is a 5-second delay before an actor responds to what was just said. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actors weren’t competent enough to remember simple dialogue. 

Don’t waste your time with this movie. Even if you like watching bad movies for fun, there’s nothing here for you. It isn’t worth sitting through because nothing happens. You don’t even get to see anyone die. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Hulu.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence is a live-action adaption of Pinocchio set in the future. It features a great cast playing interesting characters in a cool-looking world. My only complaint is that it is a bit on the longer side. Some of the scenes are a bit drawn out, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. As far as live-action adaptions, this is easily one of the best. At the very least it is better than the recent Disney live-action movies. Cruella is possibly the only exception.

A.I. deals a lot with what makes someone human. It explores humanity through the eyes of a boy learning about the world set as an epic adventure. This adventure feels epic, full of challenges and intrigue. The world that Spielberg creates for this film is one you will want to explore. The colors, the noise, its inhabitants are all icing to an already solid movie. I can see the influence this movie has had in other films of the genres.

The adventure is the most important part of this movie. David learns about the cruelty of humanity, but he also learns love and compassion. He learns about lust and desire, but he also learns about love. It is an interesting attempt at defining humanity. But there is also that overarching criticism of society. Through David’s adventure, this movie tests the limits and bounds of human compassion. A.I. makes powerful criticisms about humanity in a spectacular way.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence was a solid movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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Youtube Reviews: Idiocracy (2006)

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This movie is a political satire that addresses the dangers of commercialism, complacency, and laziness. It is an interpretation of a possible future if we as a society do not change. The future is a waste land full of idiots who no longer are capable of solving basic problems. There are trash mountains, rampant government corruption, and human life is owned by corporations.  The movie is simple in it’s story telling, but it is a tone that fits the movie.

I recommend this movie based on it’s uniqueness. The acting is over the top. Some of the saturations and shenanigans are ridiculous.  It is an imagining of a future that hasn’t been presented before and I for one am here for it. I will say that this movie can put off some people. It can be gross, obnoxious, and rude but that is the point of the movie. Overall I believe it to provide proper social commentary and I urge everyone, even those who might not like it, to watch it. This is easily one of the better films on the platform.

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