Tag Archives: film reviews

Movie Review: Significant Other (2022)

Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay

Don’t waste your time on Significant Other. It is a garbage movie that should have never been made. I don’t know what it is about Paramount, but they don’t seem to understand how to make a proper horror movie.

The movie focuses on a generic couple who go on a camping trip. Alone in the woods, they begin to notice that there is something off. They find strange animal corpses, they see shadows, and it feels like something is watching them. Tensions grow high as the couple’s relationship begins to strain. There are aliens in the woods, and they seem to be after one of them. Will they be able to make it out alive?

It’s a shame that these actors are wasted on such a bad movie. The acting is fine, but everything else is terrible. There is no tension in this film, the buildup makes no sense, the twist is confusing, and the ending is disappointing. I had to rewatch this movie because I thought I missed some important details. I was very confused when the twist came, and I wanted to make sure I gave this film its fair trial. I didn’t miss anything. This movie is just that bad at telling its story.

I feel like a broken record at this point, but nothing happens in this movie. The first thirty minutes of this movie is relationship problems the movie. The boyfriend proposes, but the girl has issues with commitment. The film becomes a lot of awkward conversations in reaction to not accepting the proposal. The movie then tries desperately to be symbolically and suspenseful like Hereditary, but it only slows down the plot. There are a lot of scenes where the camera pans over nature to suggest something sinister is going on when nothing is. 

I am going to spoil this movie because I need you to understand my frustration with it. If you are planning to watch this, don’t, but if you insist, stop reading here.

The movie suggests that the drama between the couple stems from unresolved trauma the girl is holding on to. I refuse to use the character names because they are generic and flat. The only defining characteristic for this girl is that she has crippling anxiety. This anxiety creates the strain on their relationship that takes up the first half of the movie. Something happens in the woods that makes the girl become distant. The movie suggests that maybe she was possessed by the aliens, and she pushes her boyfriend off a cliff.

The big twist is that the alien can steal the form of other life forms. With each transformation, the alien also gets the instincts and emotions of the form he takes. This will become important later. The boyfriend had been dead the whole time. The girl had somehow stumbled on the body early on and was acting suspicious because she knew. After the big reveal, the alien stands over the girl ready to claim another victim, but he finds himself frozen, unable to act. He can’t bring himself to kill the girl because he is overwhelmed by his love for her. Instead, he decides to save her from the impending alien invasion. The girl freaks out, and a convenient shark helps her escape again. 

The alien can’t die, and he traps her again. The alien takes her form, and as he is about to kill her, the girl overcomes her anxiety and stands up for herself. The alien, on the other hand, is overwhelmed by crippling anxiety and has a panic attack. The girl takes this opportunity to kill the alien. As the girl rides off into the sunset, the movie sequel baits. The alien isn’t dead, and there is an invasion on the way.

I am still struggling to make sense of what I just watched. I am so mad that love saved her the first time and even madder that her anxiety saved her the final time. It’s not a good movie. This is time I will never get back. Don’t waste your time when there are better, more competent horror movies out there. But if you don’t believe me, you can stream it on Paramount+.

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Movie Review: Hellraiser (2022)

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I was excited about the new Hellraiser because I loved the original, but I have since exchanged my excitement for disappointment. It is time to let this series die since it has run its course.

The movie focuses on a recovering drug addict who is struggling to get her life back together. Desperate for money, she breaks into an old warehouse where she finds the sinister puzzle box. After a relapse, she solves the puzzle and sets into motion the gruesome events that will change her life forever. The Cenobites are back and are looking to collect souls. Will she be able to make the sacrifices required to wish for her brother back, or will she be another claimed soul?

This movie is slow and dull, but at least the monster designs were interesting. I recommend skipping through any part without the Cenobites because the rest of this story doesn’t deserve your attention. What kills this movie for me is the pacing; it is unbearably slow. The original also has a pacing problem, but it is more interesting.

This movie is gore porn, designed to gross out its audience with gruesome death scenes and disgusting monsters. It doesn’t go as far as it can, and a bit of the gore is held back by its technology. Most of the kills are fine, and some are even creative, but there are some that are rendered poorly. Don’t watch this movie if you are looking for proper gore.

I take issue with this movie’s narrative style. Most of the time I was waiting around for the next death scene. The last fifteen minutes or so fair a bit better than the rest of the movie because that is when the most action happens. The ending has a few lazy twists, some poorly designed tension, and some interesting lore dumps, but nothing really goes out of your way to watch. I just wished the rest of the movie had the same energy as the last bit, it might have fared a little better.

If this movie existed in a vacuum, it would be fine. The acting is decent, and the deaths are solid. But it doesn’t, and there are better options out there. If you need horror movies to fill your Halloween marathon, watch the original instead. Otherwise, be prepared to skip around. You can stream it on Hulu, but I wouldn’t bother.

Movie Review: Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)

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Most people are already done with this IP, but Illumination seems to be determined to milk it for all its worth. While it might not be the best addition to the franchise, The Rise of Gru is certainly one of the better ones. If you have kids, you’ve probably already seen this movie. If you haven’t, you can stream it on Peacock.

The plot is a simple origin story. It focuses on the mentorship of Gru as he comes to his own as a villain, while also establishing him as a sympathetic character. I didn’t feel like it added much to the lore or did anything worthwhile, but I didn’t hate it.

This movie doesn’t do anything special, and I would only recommend it if you have kids. The voice acting is mostly solid and I enjoy the art style. It is hard to write too much about this movie because you’ve seen this type of origin story done many times. There were some cute moments in this movie that help The Rise of Gru stand out among the rest of these movies, but nothing I would rush to see.

If you are looking for something to throw on for a family movie night, this is a solid option. If you are looking for something to throw on in the background, why not. Otherwise, you can probably live without it. You can stream it on Peacock.

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Movie Review: Hocus Pocus 2

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I wasn’t impressed by this sequel. As of writing this, I struggle to remember what I just watched. If you are a fan of the original, you have already been disappointed. For the rest of you, watch the original instead.

This attempt feels heartless and empty. It is a very cheesy and cartoonish movie, clearly written for a younger audience, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that this movie is boring. The acting is great for the Sanderson sisters and Gilbert, but everyone else feels flat. The main characters feel shallow because they are poorly written. I did not care for the main characters or the fact that they were no longer friends because there wasn’t enough to them for me to do so. The conflict between them seemed manufactured to fill the run time. Their only motivations seem to be driven by the script instead of any defining characteristic. I can’t even name you any of the main characters because they only existed to chase after the sisters. 

The plot of this movie is clearly a shallow attempt at cashing in on some nostalgia. There isn’t any tension in the movie despite there being a deadline. The villains and heroes were all goofing around so I stopped caring pretty early on. If this movie isn’t wasting time on pointless high school drama, being politically correct, or making references to the original, then nothing is happening. This movie builds up, if you can call this poorly written plot build-up, to a very disappointing conclusion powered by terrible writing and Ex-Machina. It is anti-climactic, and the Sanderson sisters deserved a better conclusion.

This movie was clearly written for kids. Hocus Pocus 2 was a sloppy attempt to reboot the series for a new generation. I expected more. You can stream on Disney+, but I recommend you watch the original instead.

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Movie Review: Athena (2022)

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

I absolutely adored this film, and if it isn’t on your radar, it should be. Athena is a beautifully shot and stressful journey through a chaotic riot brought forth by racism.

The community of Athena is shaken by the death of a young boy at the hands of the local police. Fed up by the police brutality plaguing his community, Karim takes arms against those who killed his brother. Riots break out, and with the help of the local gangs, Karim wages war against the police. Will he be able to bring his brother’s killers to justice? Will this war bring the change Karim is hoping for?

The film is in French, with subtitles available in many languages. The acting is fantastic, although I only understood bits of it. The big draw to this movie is how perfectly it captures the chaos of the riots. I was blown away by the long sequences that beautifully told this chaotic story. I respect the amount of work and coordination required to make such a massive conflict fit within this movie. 

There is some dialogue, all of it is key to the story, but most of the storytelling is achieved through these long sequences. The clashes with the police and the long walks through the war-torn apartments tell an amazing story with very few words. The story told is intense and suspenseful. I was at the edge of my seat, consistently stressed by the escalating conflict throughout the whole experience, and it was wonderful.

Stream it now on Netflix. 

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Movie Review: Look Both Ways (2022)

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Look Both Ways is a cute story that explores how the life of a young woman splits after one defining moment. In her senior year of college, Natalie takes a pregnancy test that would determine her future. The movie explores how her life would have turned out with either outcome. In one version, Natalie works toward the goals she has set for herself while the other version of Natalie becomes a mother. The movie will constantly shift between the two, comparing each other’s achievements and hardships. It is a neat idea, and it makes for a cute story.

The movie is cute because of its cast and the chemistry they share. The story is okay, but it plays off as too much of a fantasy. There is hardly any adversity in this quirky little narrative, and what does exist is easily overcome. Everything works out in the end, so think of this as a fairy tale you watch when you want to relax. 

I liked how they showed that life wasn’t over for Natalie after she got pregnant, and she could still work towards her goals. Both narratives were treated nicely but limited by this mirroring the narratives had to do. Each switch had to be parallel so the choices Natalie made had to be the same or similar. 

My only complaint is that the ending was a bit disappointing, had it ended a few minutes earlier it would have been better, but it didn’t ruin the experience. Also having it limited to only two successful outcomes is a bit limiting, but any other combination would have either been too long or biased.

It’s cheesy, its fun, and you won’t hate it. It isn’t going to win any awards, but I enjoyed the story, and I appreciate how it was told. You can stream it on Netflix.

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Movie Review: Blonde (2022)

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I have mixed feelings about Blonde because while I appreciate what it tries to do, it is a slow burn. This movie didn’t need to be as long as it is, and I nearly gave up on it. What hurts this movie is its artsy retelling of history, but it is an innovation in storytelling that I can welcome. If you are coming to this movie to learn about the tragedy of Marilyn Monroe, it is done better in documentaries and books. The draw to this film is strictly for its artistry and storytelling. It is not for everyone.

Ana del Armas is amazing, and her performance was the only reason I was able to stomach this movie. Ana del Armas is able to embody the tragedy and desperation behind this story as she carries this film. I can’t think of a better actress for the job.

That said, this movie is too artsy for its good. Some scenes drag on way too long and others become repetitive. I do like the almost horror narrative style the movie takes up to highlight the tragedy of Maralyn’s life. The way it exaggerates the predatory affection men had towards her was terrifying. This movie does a good job of showing how fame was a curse to Maralyn, and how it led to her untimely death. It was interesting to see the constant struggle between Norma the person and Marilyn the symbol evolve through the film. It was a conflict that resulted in some truly powerful scenes. The problem I have with this movie is that it takes too long to make its points. I don’t have the attention span required to sit through this much symbolism. 

Blonde isn’t a good biopic. I don’t feel like I came out of this experience knowing anything new about the actress like I did with Elvis. While I did enjoy the overall performance, the art distracts from the narrative. 

The best way to enjoy this movie is to come into it knowing the history. This isn’t a movie that you will use as a historical reference. Read books and watch documentaries first, then maybe consider this movie. This is a movie designed to make the audience uncomfortable. Marilyn’s life is an uncomfortable tragedy. There is a lot of nudity and abuse in this movie, clearly earning its N17 rating. But, if you don’t mind weird artsy movies, this one is a slow burn that you should watch for the experience. Just be warned, it is very slow. I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it, especially since this story has been done better elsewhere. But for those interested, you can stream it on Netflix. 

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Movie Review: Don’t Worry Darling (2022)

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Don’t Worry Darling is a huge waste of time, don’t watch it in theaters. This film’s abysmal failure was rightfully predicted when the only news coming out nearing its release was about the drama that surrounded the filming. If this amateur attempt at horror doesn’t ruin Olivia Wild’s directing career, nothing will.

Don’t Worry Darling is about a dystopian desert community that is themed after the 1950’s American nuclear family fantasy. The men all work at a factory where what they do is a secret. The women are homemakers who look after the house and their husband’s every need. Everything seems perfect at the Valor project. Food is plentiful, there is a lot to do, and everything is perfect. But there is something sinister happening in the desert, and Alice is the only one who suspects such. Alice seeks answers, but the answers she seeks begin to unravel her world. It seems like her life at the Valor project isn’t as perfect as it seems.

Don’t Worry Darling is two hours where nothing happens. The first half hour is dedicated to Harry Styles making out with Alice, while the rest of the run time is padded with more fan service and fake deep sequences. If this movie dedicated as much time to developing its plot as it did with Mr. Styles, this could have been an actual movie. Instead, Don’t Worry Darling is a superficial attempt at replicating a better horror film.

The biggest problem with this movie is that there isn’t enough tension. The editing, the bizarre directing choices, and the acting 

aren’t able to make this work. The acting is very inconsistent. In some scenes, the writing and the acting come together nicely and give the audience the false hope that the movie might get better. Most scenes, however, feel as if the actors are struggling to remember the lines they were given minutes before filming. It doesn’t help that most characters are poorly written cardboard cutouts of people. The cast does its best, but nothing can save this atrocity to film.

This is the part of the review where I will spoil the movie. If you are planning to watch it, don’t, but this is a good place to stop. You’ve been warned.

The movie is all set up, full of scenes that take way too long and symbols that overstay their welcome. With all this setup, the big defining twist still manages to come as a surprise. This whole movie exists as a simulation, and only the men know the truth. The women on the other hand have been reprogrammed to believe in the simulation and be perfect housewives. The idea is cool. In the hands of a competent director, this could have been a good movie, but it’s not. 

Don’t Worry Darling’s follies make this movie anti-climactic. The villain is poorly written and without any presence. I forgot Chris Pine was even in this movie until he would show up for some poorly written moments. The only reason I knew he was the villain was that he was nearly always accompanied by ominous music. Alice on the other hand suffers from magical competence. She knows something is wrong and knows what to do because the script and director say so. Most events in this movie happen for the same reason. You can argue that it was all programmed to happen, but this movie isn’t good enough for that explanation. As a result, I never cared when Alice was in danger because I knew ex-Machina would save the day.

Instead of wasting so much time on symbolism and fan service, it should have spent time developing its mystery and gas-lighting Alice. There should have been more clues to suggest that this was a simulation. There should have been more meaningful interactions between Alice in the world; maybe it wouldn’t feel so frustratingly magical. There should have been a better director. Olivia Wild tried and failed, and this was the result. Don’t watch this movie. 

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Movie Review: The Woman King (2022)

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I am blown away by the high level of production that went into the making of The Woman King. I am elated that we are finally moving away from the problematic representation of the noble savage toward a more true and respectful one. The costumes, traditions, combat, and acting all come together to make this movie a beautifully epic experience. If you are considering watching this movie, buy the tickets and enjoy its glory. This is a movie you need to watch in theaters.

The Woman King is a historical representation of the Agojie, an all-female warrior unit tasked with protecting the African nation of Dahomey. While the movie does focus on the geopolitical conflicts between warring tribes and slavers, the movie is also an important narrative about womanhood. The movie focuses on Nawi as she trains to become an Agojie during her nation’s wartime. The film focuses on training while also highlighting some of the nation’s traditions. As Nawi learns to become a warrior, war is brewing in the backdrop until it boils over into some of the most epic battles in modern cinema. This is truly a fascinating itnroduction into one of the many cultures that are often misrepresented in the media.

The Woman King is an important film that needs to be supported. The film is an inspiring narrative of womanhood that challenges the traditional values that have been dominant in media for so long. I can’t forget to mention the important representation and commentary about slavery that can’t be overlooked. Unfortunately, it is becoming a modern trend in America to forget and overlook these kinds of stories. While they may be able to whitewash the curriculum, they cannot censor the cinema. I can only hope that this is the start of a growing trend to represent cultures that have often been vilified or forgotten due to racism.

Aside from its cultural commentary, this film has a fantastic narrative. Watching Nawi raise up through her training and building lasting bonds with her sisters was both inspiring and heartwarming. These actresses gave it their all to such an epic story to life. There was a lot of love and dedication put into this movie, and it clearly paid off. It is truly refreshing to see women, especially women of color take on such active and heroic roles in cinema.

The Woman King is an action movie done correctly. The narrative, the action, and the characters all kept me at the edge of my seat. The only complaint I have about this movie is that the theater was so empty. I don’t think the movie has caught on to the public yet, but it should. This is one of the best movies I have seen this year, and I will die on this hill. If you are considering watching this movie, or haven’t heard of it, buy the tickets and thank me later. You can watch it in theaters as of the writing of this review. 

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Movie Review: Do Revenge (2022)

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I just watched Do Revenge and it was a lot better than I expected. It may not be winning any awards or breaking any leaderboards, but it is a fun and entertaining movie to throw on when you don’t want to think.

Drea attends a prestigious high school and has managed to work her way to the top of the social ladder. She runs the school and dreams of going to Yale. This all changes when her boyfriend leaks her nudes to the entire class. Drea’s reputation is ruined overnight, and she is made an outcast by the people she believed to be her friend. Her boyfriend survives unscathed, leaving Drea to deal with the anger of this betrayal alone. 

While her boyfriend gets to live his normal life, Drea must play by the rules and deal with the repercussions. But Drea’s fall from grace lands her an unlikely ally, Elenore. Elenore has also had her reputation destroyed, and shares in Drea’s anger. Together, they plot to exact revenge on those who wronged them. Common goals create unlikely friendships, but will the revenge they seek quell the anger they hold within?

Do Revenge doesn’t have the greatest story. It doesn’t even have enough story for a full movie and must resort to romantic subplot plot filler and some light fan service. That said, this isn’t a bad movie. What makes this movie work so well is its leads. These two have the chemistry and charisma to carry this movie. I had so much fun watching them scheme and slowly become friends, even though what they do is immoral.

What I liked about this movie was the leads had a conscience. In movies like this, the leads don’t realize what they are doing is wrong until it’s too late. You get a sappy apology, and everything is restored in the end. This movie has some of that, but the characters show remorse as they plot and scheme. There is a very cool scene where Drea confesses that she still feels angry, and nothing seems to quell that anger. This was a very surprising moment because I didn’t expect this movie to have any depth or character growth.

Do Revenge is a simple movie that does what it sets out to do, it entertains. Aside from the leads, the acting is average at best. There are some bad line reads that I am willing to forgive. This movie is a tad generic as it hits a lot of the mandatory teen movie tropes. The story also loses a bit of traction towards the end as it tries to tie everything up. But if you just are looking for something to watch, this movie is a solid choice. You can stream it on Netflix. 

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