Tag Archives: SCARY MOVIES

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Candyman 2021

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If you haven’t seen the new Candyman, what are you doing? Go watch this movie now and thank me after. This is a beautiful horror movie that is well worth your time. This film not only expands the lore of the original but gives it new life. Watching the original is not a requirement, this film does a fantastic job at providing enough context to make the narrative make sense. I remember watching the original when I was younger and remember liking it although admittedly, it did scare me. I vaguely remember the plot but I never felt lost by what was happening.

The movie follows the artist Anthony McCoy who is in search of inspiration for his next show. His search brings him to the urban legend of the Candyman. Candyman is the soul of a wronged man who can be summoned by saying his name five times to a mirror. Once summoned, Candyman kills those who summon him, becoming the monster he was made to be. Antony’s fascination becomes an obsession as now all he can do or think about is related to the urban legend. Anthony has unknowingly unleashed Candyman back onto the streets of gentrified Chicago. Will this obsession be his downfall, or Anthony be the one to lay the legend of Candyman to rest?

Series Reviews

Movie Review: The Night House(2021)

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I expected The Night House to be another badly made and generic demon possession movie. Instead, I got a creatively disorienting narrative about a woman trying to piece together and understand the sinister events that slowly unravel around her. Beth is left to pick up the pieces of her life after her husband’s sudden suicide. Unfortunately, these pieces begin to unravel the dark secrets that her husband left behind. Is Beth’s husband as innocent as she remembered, or has the grief left her chasing shadows that aren’t there?

This is a fun movie that is very much worth your time. The acting is great, the visuals are amazing, and the story is entertaining without being convoluted. I love the direction and risks this movie takes in creating a truly disorienting experience. The use of shadows, mirrors and CGI all help create an endless maze of confusion as you are left to piece together a mystery with fragments of clues. The clues given are often incomplete or misinterpreted, further adding to the confusion and mystery. The deeper Beth gets into her investigation, the more confusing narrative gets. The horror of this movie doesn’t rely on cheap jump scares, but rather on the disorienting experience the aftermath of the suicide brings. Not knowing what is going on helps emulate the same fear and confusion Beth goes through. It is an experience that is masterfully done through the blending of reality, dreams, and delusions. Watch this movie for the interesting visuals and the fantastic performance. 

Go watch this movie on HBO if you like disorienting psychological horror. It might not give you nightmares, but you will have a lot of fun with it. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Slash/Back (2022)

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Slash/Back is a low-budget horror movie that you should at least consider supporting. The acting isn’t great, and the special effects are cheesy, but it tells an important story from an under-represented perspective. I had enough fun with this movie that I feel comfortable recommending it, but I understand it is not for everyone.

In a remote arctic village in Canada, a group of teens lives their lives in their under-resourced community wishing for something exciting to happen. Unfortunately, this dream comes true when aliens start terrorizing their little town. Now it is up to them to save the town and possibly the world.

Slash/Back deals with a lot of important issues that are often overlooked in modern and popular cinema. You have a group of capable female protagonists who struggle with the clashing of their native culture and the invasive culture of colonization. This is a story of an underfunded community dealing with the symptoms of poverty: substance abuse, racism, and feeling trapped and bound by the lack of opportunities. It is a story that is very relatable to me, and one I appreciate seeing every time. I love how this movie blends the monster film genre with Inuit folklore while it makes important social commentary. More importantly, it was cool to see that the actors in this movie are from the represented community and not a random assortment of brown people like they have in movies like Apocalypto.

The biggest issue with this movie is its acting. The story follows a group of teenage girls who don’t have much acting experience. It is fine for the most part, but the effects are clear. There are tense or suspenseful movies that aren’t do not land because the acting range isn’t there. You couple the lack of acting talent with cheesy special effects, and this isn’t the scary movie it wants to be. It doesn’t ruin the movie, I know for a fact that there are worse movies out there, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention the film’s flaws. It is not unwatchable, but something to keep in mind.

You should watch and support this movie because there need to be more diverse voices in cinema. Flaws aside, this movie is fine that deserves your support. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Choose or Die (2022)

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I’ve seen enough of these curse game movies to have low expectations of the genre. However, I was pleasantly surprised by Choose or Die. While it may not leave a lasting impression, it isn’t the worst way to spend two hours. I honestly believe it to be one of the better films in the genre. 

Choose or Die is about a girl Thea who is really good at computers. As she is desperately trying to find ways to make some extra money, she stumbles onto a text-based RPG that promises a healthy payout. While the game seems innocent, it comes with some deadly consequences. Now she is trapped in the game of her life. Will she win it all, or die trying?

Choose or Die does enough to keep it from being another bad entry to the genre, but it is far from perfect. The acting is solid, and some games are creative, but the narrative is lacking. Thea is a solid protagonist. Usually, movies like this feature a bland misrepresented character that is inexplicably perfect when the plot needs her to be. Thea on the other hand is shown early on to be a capable computer engineer. It isn’t random or unbelievable when she plays the game competently or when she overcomes obstacles. She is also likable enough, although there is some bad writing that keeps her from being better. 

The games Thea is forced to play are fun and creative for the most part. This movie does a decent job converting text-based RPG elements into a realistic and suspenseful challenge that Thea must overcome. Most importantly, these games are winnable. In some of the Saw movies or that dumb Escape Room movie, the games aren’t winnable. Instead of the suspenseful ride of watching someone trying to win their life, you get torture porn. While there is nothing wrong with that type of genre, it isn’t horror. You don’t see much torture in Choose or Die instead it becomes a very intense puzzle where the choices are difficult, but not impossible. Unfortunately, not all of the games are created equal. This will hurt this movie’s rewatchability.

My only complaint is with the writing. There are a few very cheesy moments that destroy the tension. Terrible one-liners, cheesy outcomes, and the pointless scenes with the drug dealer kind of slow the movie down and distract from the more creative bits. There is also a lot of buildup to a very disappointing ending that almost ruins the experience. 

You can watch this movie on Netflix. While I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it, it’s not bad if you have nothing else to do.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Apartment 1303 (2012)

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You can watch Apartment 1303 for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. The acting is terrible, the sound is bad, and the story isn’t interesting. The movie focuses on two sisters who move into apartment 1303 to get away from a drunk and abusive mother. They live in this apartment at different times, but both will experience the ominous presence of the ghosts that live there. It makes me wonder how this complex exists when half the residents are ghosts. 

Apartment 1303 fails as a horror movie in every regard. The poor acting and lack of any emotion kill any suspense this poorly written movie could have had. Its garbage sound mixing means you hear every breath and rustling in the background, and it gets distracting. The soundtrack is played on a speaker one room over, and once from a pair of wireless headphones. The plot is full of holes and continuity errors. There are lines of dialogue that contradict themselves in the same breath. This movie is lazy, boring, and a huge waste of time.

I do, however, want to take a moment to overanalyze the plot a bit. Usually, in horror movies, a character will make frustratingly incompetent choices that lead to their demise, like staying in an apartment everyone says is haunted. In this movie, I don’t blame the characters for not leaving the apartment. Apartment 1303 is a one-bedroom high-rise apartment in downtown Detroit that is definitely nicer and bigger than the one I am currently living in. The rent was only $700 a month with a full kitchen, a large living room, a full-sized bathtub, and a balcony with a nice view of the lake. I could put aside my fear of ghosts for $700 of rent. The sisters were also escaping an abusive mother who was desperately clinging to her failed career as a singer. I would choose the ghost too, especially after hearing her music. This movie is dumb, but living in the haunted apartment is blameless.

Anyways, this movie is free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Awake (2021

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Awake is incredibly disappointing. Awake is a horror movie where the monster is human nature. People are no longer able to sleep, and sleep deprivation is slowly killing humanity. Now the race is on to find a cure before humanity goes extinct. The movie focuses on a dysfunctional family and their survival. You get to watch as society crumbles under the weight of sleep deprivation.

This movie is alright. The acting is decent, the action is appropriate, but the ending is terrible. This is a great example of a movie that uses its run time to build up to nothing. What makes this movie hard to recommend is that it makes some solid artistic choices, but it doesn’t make enough of them to make this movie work. Awake is good at showing the story rather than relying on exposition. For example, in the first few minutes, you are introduced to Jill who is a recovering addict who is trying to give her family a better life. You know this because the son will check the car for drugs or they will make slights at the mom for being late or looking tired. You get a lot of Jill’s back story without the characters having to explicitly say anything about it. I liked this form of storytelling and hope more movies can follow suit.

I liked Jill as a character. She isn’t perfect, some of her dialogue isn’t good, but she has some redeemable moments. Jill is smart, capable, and most importantly, human. Jill doesn’t go into situations guns blazing like she is immortal. Instead, she takes the time to think and only engages when she has to because there are stakes. These stakes give the movie much-needed tension, too bad it leads nowhere.

I can’t recommend this movie. There are parts of this movie that I liked, but I can’t forgive the ending. The movie does a good job of introducing different plausible conclusions. There could be a cure, God’s wrath, scientific mumbo-jumbo, or even aliens. But instead, the movie ends in disappointment. SPOILERS: The movie ends with a baptism. As a way to start over. The kids figure that people need to die to start over so they take Jill to the river and drown her and then the movie ends. You don’t know if the cure worked. You don’t know what happens to humanity. It just ends and I was left bitter about it.

Don’t watch this movie. This is another failed attempt at another A Quite Place clone. Go watch that instead. But if yo don’t believe me, you can watch it on Netflix.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Scream (2022)

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It is tricky to recommend the new Scream movie. Unless your movie ticket is $2, I would not bother watching it in theaters. Streaming it at home would be a better option, but this movie isn’t anything special. The meta-ness of this movie is a bit drawn out. I get that you should rush to see. The meta-ness is a bit much, and the story suffers for it. I get that the meta-jokes are part of the charm of the series, but they get abrasive and overstay their welcome. Sometimes they do work, but more often than not, it is unnecessary commentary about itself. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot does the same commentary better.

I will say that this is a better reboot than the newest Holloween. Scream doesn’t feel as drawn-out, nor is it a vanity project for the original cast. But this movie is drawn out, and a lot of this comes from its meta-ness. This movie will stop often to explain elements of horror movies or spoil itself when all I want to do is watch a scary movie. This movie has potential, and there are moments where the meta-ness works, but it never quite gets there.

The best scene in the whole movie is its opening. While it is clearly an homage to the original, it is excellently executed, and it sets a tone that the rest of the movie never lives up to. It builds some great tension, there is the perfect amount of meta-ness to story, and Jenna Ortega’s performance as the first victim is the high bar that the rest of the movie will continue to fail to achieve. This scene alone gave me the hope that now fuels my disappointment in this movie. 

The main issue with this movie is its characters. The legacy characters are fine, but the new cast is forgettable. The main character is boring. Melissa Barrera isn’t a good choice for the lead. But to her credit, the lead is poorly written. If Sam isn’t dealing with her father being the original killer, she is spouting unwarranted one-liners that never fit her character. I think they were trying to redefine the role of the scream queen to be strong and independent, but there isn’t enough evidence in this movie to support that she is strong and independent. There is a scene in this movie where the killer tells Sam that she “You aren’t strong enough for this movie.” This is the best meta moment in this movie because it is true. Her performance isn’t up to par with the rest of the cast, and the rest of the cast barely does any better. 

This movie is just alright. If you are a fan of the series, it is better than some of the sequels and you might appreciate it more than most. If you aren’t a fan, I think it is better to wait for streaming to be available. I have seen a lot worse, but it isn’t worth the ticket price.

Movie Reviews

Awoken (2019) – Review

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This movie does the viewer a great service by informing the viewer the type of movie experience it will take him on in the first 5 minutes; it’s going to be a generic, slow, painful journey of a movie. Hopefully you didn’t pay for it or seek it out as a brief and cheap thrill to your otherwise boring day because there are better way’s to spend your time. This film hits every generic cliché before the movie even begins to gain any kind of traction as a form of entertainment.

Awoken starts, as these movies often do, in the past. A cheap and predictable jump scare later, it cuts to a bored main character in class. I don’t know why the main characters in these movies seem to know in a class that is extremely relevant to the plot, but here we are, in an incredibly foreshadowing lecture that kind of spoils the movie. Not that you should stick around for the rest of it anyways. It is also here that you learn, through lazy exposition, that the main character is orphaned by some mysterious event that will constantly be alluded till its lazy reveal. And of course her obsession to cure her brother’s insomnia is the driving force to the plot of the movie.

A bit hole in this movie is that everything about this girls life is written to make the plot work. Were she not a sleep scientist, having her life directly effected by the villain of the movie, or even been a sleep major, this movie could never happen. Were she a poetry major, for example, her brother would never be put in the hands of the demon. She wouldn’t even know which demon to research as even this seems to be handed to her as a way to move the plot forward. I understand that there is no such thing as a sleep major and I am leaving a lot of details extremely vague, but I want to break down the movie to its basic elements to show how incredibly generic and forced this plot is.

This movie clearly didn’t have enough plot to the movie. It seems to lazily movie from one moment of gore to the next to achieve shock. You see someone hang themselves because reasons and then it quickly tries to move to the next scene. There clearly wasn’t enough plot in this movie because when you aren’t watching gore, you get to watch the main character work on a failed relationship that existed off screen. If that doesn’t sound exciting to you, that is because it isn’t. There are so many failed attempts at creating character depth in this movie, but all the characters are forgettable. This is mostly because they try to create this depth through exposition dumps. The best part of the film is a weirdly placed Settlers of Catan reference, but that isn’t reason enough to watch this movie.

This movie is without any real substance. There are so many holes in this movie that it doesn’t make sense. The parts that do make sense are done lazily and are rather boring. If you are a horror movie buff, you can find this concept done better elsewhere. This movie is so incredibly predictable that it becomes a chore to watch. Don’t pay for this movie, we can’t keep supporting these generic cash grabs for the sake of a movie date. We need content, narrative, and depth and this movie offers none of that.