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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Murder at Yellowstone City (2022)

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I love westerns and Murder at Yellowstone City is a murder mystery with the western aesthetic that almost scratches my itch. While it does lean a bit heavily into its white guilt preaching for my taste, it is a solid murder mystery that I have little trouble recommending. If you like westerns and want a murder mystery that isn’t a comedy and won’t disappoint, you can’t go wrong with this movie. The acting is solid, the story is fine, and the mystery is well crafted. The mystery is solvable, but if you miss clues, you will be kept guessing till the big reveal.

The town of Yellowstone City struggles to keep afloat as the only company it keeps are the whores and the desperate prospectors. Hope shines on this forgotten outpost when gold is discovered, but the man who would bring the town new prosperity is gunned down in the dead of night. All clues point to the stranger who just strolled in. Did he do it, or is there something more sinister afoot?

I can’t lie, this movie feels longer than it is. There are a lot of preachy pc moments that stop the movie and feel out of place. While I don’t have an issue with woke messaging, there is a time and a place for it. In Murder at Yellowstone City, it really hurts the pacing of the movie. Scenes will stop for some wholesome political correct messaging when the movie should be solving murders and getting into gun fights. I definitely felt issues with the pacing throughout the second half, but it isn’t unwatchable. Ironically, the movie spends its run time trying to prove that not all white people were racist, only to end a little racist. 

If you like murder mysteries, this is a fun one that isn’t a comedy. If you like westerns, I would consider it. I appreciated the western aesthetic, but it doesn’t have the grit and conflict that make westerns fun and exciting. I guess what I am trying to say is, that it is good enough.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Slash/Back (2022)

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Slash/Back is a low-budget horror movie that you should at least consider supporting. The acting isn’t great, and the special effects are cheesy, but it tells an important story from an under-represented perspective. I had enough fun with this movie that I feel comfortable recommending it, but I understand it is not for everyone.

In a remote arctic village in Canada, a group of teens lives their lives in their under-resourced community wishing for something exciting to happen. Unfortunately, this dream comes true when aliens start terrorizing their little town. Now it is up to them to save the town and possibly the world.

Slash/Back deals with a lot of important issues that are often overlooked in modern and popular cinema. You have a group of capable female protagonists who struggle with the clashing of their native culture and the invasive culture of colonization. This is a story of an underfunded community dealing with the symptoms of poverty: substance abuse, racism, and feeling trapped and bound by the lack of opportunities. It is a story that is very relatable to me, and one I appreciate seeing every time. I love how this movie blends the monster film genre with Inuit folklore while it makes important social commentary. More importantly, it was cool to see that the actors in this movie are from the represented community and not a random assortment of brown people like they have in movies like Apocalypto.

The biggest issue with this movie is its acting. The story follows a group of teenage girls who don’t have much acting experience. It is fine for the most part, but the effects are clear. There are tense or suspenseful movies that aren’t do not land because the acting range isn’t there. You couple the lack of acting talent with cheesy special effects, and this isn’t the scary movie it wants to be. It doesn’t ruin the movie, I know for a fact that there are worse movies out there, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention the film’s flaws. It is not unwatchable, but something to keep in mind.

You should watch and support this movie because there need to be more diverse voices in cinema. Flaws aside, this movie is fine that deserves your support. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Spiderhead (2022)

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I wanted to like Spiderhead, but unfortunately, this movie is an utter disappointment. Chris Hemsworth is a fantastic villain, but unfortunately, his efforts are wasted on a film with a severe identity crisis. This movie struggles as it tries to decide whether it wants to be horror, action thriller, or dark comedy. The result is something that feels like three different movies awkwardly stitched together and posted as a cheap way to generate views. There are about 30 minutes of salvageable film, but the disappointment is too overwhelming to merit a recommendation.

Spiderhead is a prison facility run by a shady pharmaceutical company. They use the facility to test highly experimental drugs on its inmates. All the inmates are here by choice, but as the side effects begin to get severe, it becomes harder to justify volunteering. The movie focuses on a protagonist with a dark past that you uncover as the tests continue. Will he continue to subject himself to the experiments, or will his questions prompt a release from the program? Or worse?

The movie starts as another prison game narrative. The movie does a great job of setting up how isolated the facility is. It also provides the audience with a taste of the type of tests involved. What sets this movie apart is the very charismatic Chris Hemsworth who uses his charisma to manipulate the prisoners into always cooperating with the testing. It is fun to see Steve (Chris Hemsworth) turn every conversation in his favor. The problem is that none of the other actors add this same level of energy and it hurts the film. When the movie shifts its focus from Hemsworth to the true protagonist, the movie loses its momentum, and I, in turn, lost my interest. The movie becomes this lazy, cartoonish The Warriors ripoff no one asks for full of ex-Machina and poorly delivered drama. I don’t like this movie because of how badly I was let down by the ending.

If you want something to throw in the background, sure. Chris Hemsworth’s performance is fantastic. There are a lot of bits in this movie where nothing happens, making it not worth your full attention. You can find this movie on Netflix, but there are a lot of other media that do this same story better elsewhere.

This part will have spoilers, do not read if you care about spoilers. This is one of those movies where I wish the villain won. It would have been such a better story if at the end of the movie, after all the effort of trying to escape, the protagonist finds he is still a part of the test. Anything would have been better than how it ends.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Siege of Robin Hood (2022)

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The Siege of Robin Hood is a cheesy, low-budget fantasy movie you have not heard of for good reason. This film feels like a very well-funded LARP, unfortunately, it makes for a terrible movie. 

The Sheriff Of Nottingham is a tyrant who rules the land cruelly. The citizens have had enough but are unable to break away from his rule. It is up to Robin Hood and his band of misfits to storm the castle and give the land its peace and freedom. Do they have what it takes, or will they be another failed rebellion? 

This was exceptionally boring to watch. The costumes and the setting are the best things about this movie. They spent a lot of money on cool pieces of armor and weapons, but they ran out of money for the actors and sound. There are a couple of fun fights, but they are too few for this movie to be worth the trouble. Overall, this film’s greatest weakness lies in its actors. There are no actors in this movie, and a lot of this movie consists of a poorly written script performed terribly. Getting through this movie was hard work, work I hope you never have to do. 

The biggest issue with this movie is its lack of urgency. Nothing in this movie matters because there isn’t a threat or challenge for Robin Hood and his gang. The henchmen will die at the mere sight of the group, and Robin Hood will ex Machina his way out of everything. The villain in this movie is horribly written. The Sheriff Of Nottingham is evil for the sake of being evil. He rapes and pillages because he has to be the bad guy and that’s boring. A good villain needs clear motivation with competent henchmen so that the hero’s struggle is exciting and fun to watch. There is no weight to this villain and I was left waiting for Robin Hood to awkwardly stroll to the final disappointing battle. It is a shame because there are a couple of well-choreographed fights that leave me more disappointed in this movie. Why couldn’t the movie be full of well-choreographed and fun fights if they were going to skimp on actors and narrative? 

This movie is a complete waste of time. I like cheesy movies, but this takes it to an unwatchable level. If you like to watch bad movies to make fun of them, don’t bother with this one because it isn’t as fun as you might think. I don’t know who funded this LARP, but it wasn’t worth it. You aren’t the target audience. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Northman (2022)

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I was not expecting a fantasy adventure from The Northman, but I am not one to complain as I have been starving for a good fantasy. From the trailers, this seemed like another revenge action movie only with a Viking skin, but I was surprised that there was a bit more depth to it. The Northman is essentially Hamlet adapted to Nordic mythology, and it works beautifully. A bit of warning, this is a bloody and violent movie, but so was the original tragedy.

The Northman follows a young boy on his quest for revenge. Amleth’s uncle has slain his father and taken over his clan. Amleth vows to avenge his father, save his mother, and restore his honor. His destiny guides his journey, and his journey is an excellent way to spend two hours. 

I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would because of how much attention to detail there was. I am not sure about the historical accuracy of the movie, but a lot of the lore and the references to Hamlet were spot on. This movie is well-acted, and beautifully shot, and the story is fantastic. I loved how action scenes that were long single takes. They are very creative and not the jarring million-cut action scenes we’ve become accustomed to in modern action movies. There are also a lot of long wide shots of the beautiful Icelandic landscape that are simply breathtaking. My only complaint is that some of the scenes take a bit too long, but it doesn’t make this movie unwatchable. 

If you love Vikings and revenge, you probably already saw this movie. For everyone, this movie is worth the experience. This is the Hamlet adaptation you didn’t know you need it. You can watch The Northman on Peacock.

Series Reviews

Series Review: Barry (2018)

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With the third season of Barry coming to a close, if you haven’t started watching this series, now is the perfect time to start. Season three is unfolding into the most insane and frustrating journey put on a reel, and I absolutely love every minute of it. For those of you who don’t know, Barry is a dark comedy about a hitman who no longer wants to kill people. Barry is one of the best in the business, but his life is unfulfilled. This all changes when a job has him stumble into the acting class that will change his life. He believes he’s found his true calling in acting despite not being very good at it. It is a fantastic journey of struggle, disappointment, depression, and acting.

This show makes an uncharismatic murderer lovable and that in itself should be enough reason for you to watch this show. This show is well shot, directed, acted, and written. It is full of characters you will hate because you are supposed to, those you will love because they ooze charisma and nail-biting tense moments that will have you ripping your hair out. I love the contrast between the acting scene and the dark underworld that Barry can’t ever shake. The harder Barry tries to have a normal life, the harder it becomes to keep his lives seperate. It is this duality that makes this show so special. All Barry wants in life is to have a purpose, but can he find purpose outside of murder? You will have to watch to find out. 

Watch this show on HBO. Trust me, you won’t regret it. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Don’t Get Caught (2018)

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Don’t Get Caught is an action stoner comedy that you haven’t heard of for good reason. This lazy and uninspired movie does not deserve your time. The acting is horrible, the editing is terrible, and there is no plot. You can find this movie free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth the trouble. There is absolutely no amount of weed in this world that would make this movie even a little funny.

Don’t Get Caught is about a couple of guys who stumble on a weed farm one day. They decide to steal the weed and sell it for profit. Unfortunately, the owner of the field finds out and wants his product back. This escalates to what is possibly one of the dumbest shootouts in history. They kill the biker gang, save the stripper, and get to keep all the money.

There are a couple of celebrity cameos in this movie to trick people into watching the movie. They only have one line and it isn’t very good. This is a shameless way to get people interested in a movie that is too lazy to edit its scenes correctly. There are scenes in this movie that will end mid-sentence and jarringly transition to the next scene. Don’t waste your time on a movie that is too lazy to put in the effort on proper editing. 

It was painful sitting through this movie. The poorly scripted dialogue delivered by the most wooden acting makes this movie a chore to sit through. None of the jokes land, none of the situations are funny, and none of the action is suspenseful or exciting. It doesn’t help that the whole movie is full of terribly echoey sound. They cut too many corners, and it makes this movie unwatchable. I can’t believe I sat through this whole movie.

I deserve a refund for having to sit through this god-awful movie. At least the music was good.

Series Reviews

Series Review: Star Trek: Prodigy(2021)

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Star Trek: Prodigy is the modern Star Trek narrative I have been searching for. This animated series follows a group of misfits who find themselves on a stolen federation ship. With The Diviner after them, they must learn to fly the ship and work together as a functioning crew. Will they be able to overcome their own demons in time, or will they be captured, forced to spend their lives as another one of The Diviner’s undesirables?

If you are looking for an entry to the series, you can’t go wrong with Star Trek: Prodigy. The animation is beautiful, the voice acting is fantastic, and the characters are lovable. The story is incredibly fun and beginner friendly. You do not need to know anything about Star Trek to enjoy this series. This series is what I hope all modern Star Trek shows get to be. You have an interesting a capable villain with clear motivations chasing a crew of capable and lovable heroes operating a cool and powerful ship. What more can you ask for? 

The crew of the S.S. Protostar is filled with unique and flawed characters that will grow as the adventure unfolds. They mess up and fumble through each situation, but they learn and grow from each mistake. I love the attention to detail put into this show. There are small bits of dialogue or small subtle actions that show the audience that these are dynamic characters growing into something great. They might not be the cool collected crew of the Enterprise, but they are lovable just the same. This is a very much welcomed addition to the Star Trek universe, one that you should consider the next time you are looking for something to watch. 

It is available for streaming on Paramount Plus. Trust me when I say, it is well worth your time. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore(2022)

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I expected a lot more magic from a movie about wizards. While there are a few scenes that tickle my desire for wizard violence, it is often cut short for political garbage that I didn’t care for. If I wanted to watch a political movie about zealots and corruption, there are better avenues.  

As far as prequels go, I don’t think The Secrets of Dumbledore was necessary. I don’t feel like the Fantastic beasts series really add much to the Harry Potter universe. While I thought the first Fantastic Beasts was fine, The Secrets of Dumbledore feels like a large derailment. Character growth was undone, magic rules are changed, and they took out all the beasts. This is a world where disaster can be done and undone at will, but in this movie we have to sit through procedural nonsense. All I want from my wizard movies is cool wizard battles.  

This movie has a fantastic cast and there are some fun, and some creative fights, but energy is wasted on a dull plot. There is all this build up to an epic fight between good and evil, but the battle isn’t epic. The setup is mostly perfect too, if you ignore the zealot nonsense and the weird dear ritual. There are tense and suspenseful moments as the heroes fight evil. You get a meaningful connection between Dumbledore and Grindelwald, but then the fight is a huge let down. It is outclassed and outshined by earlier less essential fights. Where did this momentum go? Where is all the magic? Where are all the beasts? 

I don’t think knowing any of the secrets added any character to Dumbledore, nor do I think this movie adds anything meaningful to the franchise. I am sure there is an audience for this movie, but this movie wasn’t for me. But what do I know, I am just a casual. You can watch it now on HBO.  

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

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I’ve watched this movie a few times already, but even now forget what this movie is about. While I appreciate the attempt of bringing this older IP to a modern audience, it isn’t a very good attempt. This is a Ninja Turtles’ movie from the perspective of April. Instead of an action packed war against the Foot clan, you get a very bland about investigative journalism. 

Megan Fox is not a strong enough lead to make this movie work. With as stronger lead, this might have been a better movie, but it’s not. This movie needed someone who could at the very least act as if they were interested in solving crime or getting a story. Instead, you have an unenthused Megan Fox whose acting is inconsistent, her personality is flat, and she has no chemistry with any of the other characters.  

The other characters don’t fare much better. There isn’t enough time with the turtles to establish their personalities. You get a few pop culture references that will help age this movie terribly, but outside of that, they don’t make the impact they should. They are massive, each step seems to shake the world around them, but the dated CGI makes their movements look awkward and incomplete. The combat is boring to watch because it is so slow and ugly. If you are watching this film on anything larger than a smart phone, it is difficult to ignore how terribly this movie is aging. This movie will not stand the test of time, and it shouldn’t. 

You can find it on YouTube for free, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to look for it.