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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Confessions of a Shopaholic (2009)

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Confessions of a Shopaholic is a very middle-of-the-road movie that doesn’t have much going for it. Sure the cast is great, but the story lacks anything worthwhile. If I am being honest, it is very bland despite it having a colorful obsession. The movie plays like a bad fantasy, and your time is better spent elsewhere.

My biggest issue with this movie is its main character. Isla Fisher does the best she can with what she is given, but her character lacks depth. Rebecca is this Mary Sue character who happens to be addicted to shopping. The way they depict shopping addiction was fun and creative, but that creativity is missing from the rest of the movie. Instead, you have this character that is destined to have a happy ending. The whole world is there to support Rebecca, but they never get the reason as to why. As a result, none of the meaningful moments are earned. It is hard to care about a character who doesn’t face any adversities. Instead, Rebecca faces inconveniences. She doesn’t get the job she wants, but she becomes a world-renowned author with just one article. She finds the love of her life because the script says so. She is even able to settle her crippling debt by selling her junk. This movie ends with Rebecca not learning anything but getting everything she didn’t know she wanted. 

There is a lot more I want to say about this movie, but I don’t want to waste your time with a movie that isn’t worth your time. There are better movies of this genre you can watch instead. But for those of you who are still interested, you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: The Sandlot

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I’ve been avoiding this movie for a while now. I loved this movie as a kid, I have very fond memories about it, but I was afraid that time might have been too kind to one of my favorite movies. There are a lot of movies from my childhood that I can’t bring myself to rewatch because I don’t want to ruin my memories of them. I know they were always bad movies, but I cherish the experience. I am happy to write that The Sandlot still holds up.

The Sandlot is told by an adult reflecting on events of his childhood. He is unreliable. Details might be misremembered, others might be embellished for the story, but it works perfectly for this narrative. Some of us look back on our childhood with a fondness that distorts our retelling. What might and might not have happened ultimately doesn’t matter because it is the emotions that exist within those memories that cherish. The games we played, the friends we made, and the adventures we had are all pieced together into an epic we carry with us. The actual events might not have been anything special, but the memories are. That is what this movie captures very well. 

The Sandlot does a great job of showing the grandeur of childhood. Before the big reveal at the end, the beast is portrayed as a giant blood-thirsty monster. A lot of the interactions between the kids and the best are these epic missions to retrieve the ball. It is only at the end, when they get the full story that the beast is no longer a monster but a sweet giant dog. This is what childhood is. A period full of wonder, urban legends, and adventures with your friends. I remember playing with my friends until the street lamps came on. I remember sharing a cigarette behind my middle school because we all wanted to look cool. This is why this movie still holds up. 

You can watch this movie for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A Good Woman (2004)

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I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It has a solid cast who give great performances, and the writing is excellent. If you like romance movies, this is a complicated one full of wit, drama, and misunderstandings that’s easy to enjoy. If you are a fan of the 20’s era aesthetic, there is enough in it to satisfy most audiences. If you are only looking for something to watch, I can promise you that you won’t be disappointed.

A Good Woman is about a newlyweds trip to Italy. All seems fine until gossip and desire place a strain on their relationship. The movie focuses on a group of social elites who have too much time on their hands. The overall message isn’t wholly universal, but it does address some important topics. The film is an exploration of the relationship between man and woman. What is acceptable differs based on gender. Men can cheat and have mistresses, while women must accept this fact and hate the mistress. A man can’t be friends with a woman, things of that nature. It doesn’t go deep enough, but at least there is an attempt. This movie is framed as a fantasy, so expect a lot of the lessons learned to be superficial. You can only do so much with out-of-touch characters.

That said, it is a good movie full of lots of witty banter. I recommend it, and you can watch it for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Lantern’s Lane (2021)

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Do not waste your time on this terrible movie. The camera work, the plot, the acting, and the big reveal are irredeemably bad. There is nothing worth watching in this movie.

Lantern’s lane is about a girl who returns to her rural home town where she reunites with friends from high school. Bitter that she hasn’t returned, her friends attempt to play a prank on her by scaring her. Things turn sour when a killer starts hunting them instead. The mom and daughter from the opening scene are the killers. This movie spoils its ending in the first five minutes of play time with its terrible acting and camera work. Lantern’s Lane is a great example of a filmmaker who is trying way too hard to be symbolic. This movie is full of obvious foreshadowing that ruins any tension that this movie could have had. Not that anything of note ever happens. It takes a whole hour before the horror element comes into play, but it doesn’t matter because you already know who the killer is.

Instead, you are forced to sit through terribly read high school drama no one asked for. I don’t know which is worse, the acting or the writing. I don’t think anyone involved with the making of this movie has ever talked to a real person before. The dialogue in this movie is unreal. You can mash your keyboard right now, and the outcome would be better dialogue.

And the editing of this movie? I don’t think there is a single scene in this movie that isn’t a collection of shots lazily pieced together. There are more cuts in a scene of simple dialogue than there are in an MCU fight scene. Disney cuts fight scenes to hide the fact that the actors can’t fight. This movie does it to hide the fact that they can’t act. There are moments of dialogue where there is a 5-second delay before an actor responds to what was just said. I wouldn’t be surprised if the actors weren’t competent enough to remember simple dialogue. 

Don’t waste your time with this movie. Even if you like watching bad movies for fun, there’s nothing here for you. It isn’t worth sitting through because nothing happens. You don’t even get to see anyone die. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Hulu.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence is a live-action adaption of Pinocchio set in the future. It features a great cast playing interesting characters in a cool-looking world. My only complaint is that it is a bit on the longer side. Some of the scenes are a bit drawn out, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. As far as live-action adaptions, this is easily one of the best. At the very least it is better than the recent Disney live-action movies. Cruella is possibly the only exception.

A.I. deals a lot with what makes someone human. It explores humanity through the eyes of a boy learning about the world set as an epic adventure. This adventure feels epic, full of challenges and intrigue. The world that Spielberg creates for this film is one you will want to explore. The colors, the noise, its inhabitants are all icing to an already solid movie. I can see the influence this movie has had in other films of the genres.

The adventure is the most important part of this movie. David learns about the cruelty of humanity, but he also learns love and compassion. He learns about lust and desire, but he also learns about love. It is an interesting attempt at defining humanity. But there is also that overarching criticism of society. Through David’s adventure, this movie tests the limits and bounds of human compassion. A.I. makes powerful criticisms about humanity in a spectacular way.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence was a solid movie that you can watch for free on YouTube. You can do a lot worse for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chick Fight (2020)

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Every once in a while, I stumble across a bad movie that leaves me feeling angry about the time I’ve just wasted. Chick Fight is one of those movies. There is so much I want to say, but here is the short version: This movie is terrible, do not watch it. The plot is lazy and predictable, the acting is mediocre at best, and the characters are unimagined.

I knew this movie bad. I felt it in my soul, but I wasn’t ready for how bad. The title alone should have been a red flag, but unfortunately, I watch anything once.

Chick fight is as generic as they come. The main character trains for a high-stakes big fight at the end while facing impossible odds. Somehow, through mostly confidence, she overcomes these odds and wins at everything. Think Karate Kid, but never as good.

My main issue is with Anna, the main character. She is as boring. She has nothing to lose, that is her motivation, but the plot gives her things. She gets the fight club, she gets to win at the end, she gets the successful coffee shop, and she gets the guy at the end without ever struggling. She gets all this because she believes in herself now? Fighting real people gives her the strength to fight life. That is the moral of the story, and I hate it. This movie takes every chance it gets to include a line of dialogue to slap you with its cheesy moral.

The cheesy message of empowerment aside, there is no way she wins her final fight. Anna joins the fight club, not knowing how to fight. Everyone in this fight club demonstrates some real skill, and then you have Anna, who has never even thrown a punch. Anna has two months to get good enough to fight the best fighter in the club. The rival, Olivia, has never been defeated. Olivia is shown beating three fighters at once. There is no way she wins the fight at the end. But through the power of character and shitty foreshadowing, Anna wins. Just watch Karate Kid.

There is so much I want to say about this movie. I have pages and pages of angry notes, but I will end it here: This movie isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Youtube Reviews: Bandslam (2009)

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There isn’t too much to say about this movie.  It isn’t impressive and hasn’t aged very well. It isn’t bad, it’s just a another kids movie where the goal is to win the battle of the bands. If you’ve seen one, you’ve have seen them all. But don’t let that dissuade you, it is no where near being the worst movie on the platform.

This movie probably isn’t for the regular movie goer. It is good if you have kids.  The plot is simple, the characters are awkward but likable, and the some of the music is decent. Don’t worry, it doesn’t have any of that repetitive, torturous toddler music. The performances in this movie are also pretty solid. The main character really feels like this geeky kid who is passionate about music. The friend group in this movie feels like a real group of kids who are in a band together. If you have to watch this, you won’t want to kill yourself.
 

My only real issue with the  movie is that I never really got into Ska. There was a bit too much ska in this movie for my taste, but that in no way ruined my experience. I just wish it had more punk or even some of the emo stuff they tease you with.

Watch this movie this if you have nothing else to do. Throw it on if you have kids. Skip it if you hate ska.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Youtube Reviews: Nacho Libre (2006)

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I will be upfront, I am a little biased when it comes to this movie because it played a big part in my teenage years. That being said, I urge you to watch this movie if you haven’t done so. This is a comedy that makes light of the mundane life in a sleepy village in Oaxaca. If you are looking for a loud and outrages comedy, this is not it. It is a quite ride where the guide is Jack Black and Jack Black came here to perform. I would argue that this is one of his best roles. He is charming, he is funny, and he brings in all the charisma this movie can hold within the limits of its run time. His performance alone should be enough to convince you to give this movie a chance.

If you have kids, this is an inoffensive movie to watch as a family. If you are bored and need something to watch, or re-watch, it’s free!

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Movie Reviews, movies

Youtube Reviews: School for Scoundrels (2006)

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This is an odd one. Some of the jokes have not aged well, but it isn’t a terrible movie. I recommend it just for the performances. The conflict between Billy Bob Thorton and John Hader in this movie, although dumb as it is, is something you should not ignore. John Heder has this gift of portraying truly awkward characters. There are scenes in this movie that are incredibly awkward to watch. Billy Bob Thorton’s performance should not be overlooked either. He is able to be the perfect villain for this type of movie.

My only real issue with this movie is the love interest. Amanda only exists to be the prize and that is problematic. Her whole personality is boiled down to be the girl the rivals fight over. As a result she is inexplicably infatuated by a guy who up to the events of the movie has not left much of an impression. I think Sarah Silverman says it best when she compares continually compares him to a serial killer. But this movie really isn’t about her or her lack of personality and if you treat her like the object the film makes her to be, it shouldn’t be a problem. She doesn’t add anything to the plot except create a central conflict.

Overall, it’s not a waste of time. As cheesy as this movie is, I’d watch it just to see John Heder and Billy Bob Thorton perform.

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New to Town (2009) Review – A love story they should have told better

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I will not sit here and try to sell you on a movie that is mediocre at best. The plot is generic and contrived and there is no chemistry between the main characters. It is hard to watch a love story about two people who only seem to only tolerate each other. The movie does try to address some deep issues like how corporate America can ruin small rural towns, but it does not go deep enough. It shouldn’t, it is a rom com, but these scenes are more thought out and impressive than the romantic plot that seems to be thrown in there out of necessity.

The biggest problem with this movie is the pacing. They mix so many plots that they leave very little time to flesh any of them out fully. When she shifts from hating the town to wanting to save it seems to come almost out of nowhere because it is so sudden. I wish they would have abandoned the romance plot, that being the weakest in the movie. I wish movies like this would stop defining woman’s happiness by their relationship with me and instead focus on the deeper non-romantic connections they could make. If you take out the romance plot from this movie, it could turn into a heartwarming film about a woman who wants to save a town because of the friendships she has made in the process.

I would argue that it is the relationship that Blanche forges with Lucy that ultimately saves the town. The character Blanche is the only reason why I enjoyed this movie as much as I did. I Stopped following Lucy’s narrative early on because she is a generic character. Instead, I chose to follow Blanche closely. Blanche starts out the movie as this almost overbearing presence. She doesn’t stop talking and she is always inserting herself into Lucy’s life. But as the movie progresses it’s clear that Blanche is going out of her way to make sure Lucy feels welcomed in her town. I believe that her motives are altruistic and Blanche’s kindness is indeed genuine. This overbearing presence she has slowly becomes normal and scenes without her seem lifeless. I think the film does a great job at showing this progression of from annoying to friendly not only for Lucy, but for the audience as well. I think this friendship was the most important aspect of this films plot and I wish they developed it a lot more.  

My main issue with this movie is the love interest. They could have dropped him from the movie and it would not have changed the plot. He has such little impact in this movie that I forget his name. Instead, they should have taken more time to develop Lucy’s relationship with the town. They could have shown her slowly building a rapport with the townspeople and maybe even start developing a routine. They could have shown her going into a shop and the owner knows her by name and what she likes to order. I would have rather seen a heartwarming scene between Blanche and Lucy instead of the messy fight she has in the factory with the workers. This movie should have been more about her relationship with the town and factory.

If you are looking for a good romantic comedy, you have already seen better. Go watch those instead. If you are looking for a dumb movie to put in the background while you do chores, this is a valid choice. It could make a fun date night movie, the plot is simple and you do not need to pay attention to the movie to get the gist. There are worse ways to spend an hour and some change, but you probably won’t remember watching this movie.