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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Candyman 2021

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If you haven’t seen the new Candyman, what are you doing? Go watch this movie now and thank me after. This is a beautiful horror movie that is well worth your time. This film not only expands the lore of the original but gives it new life. Watching the original is not a requirement, this film does a fantastic job at providing enough context to make the narrative make sense. I remember watching the original when I was younger and remember liking it although admittedly, it did scare me. I vaguely remember the plot but I never felt lost by what was happening.

The movie follows the artist Anthony McCoy who is in search of inspiration for his next show. His search brings him to the urban legend of the Candyman. Candyman is the soul of a wronged man who can be summoned by saying his name five times to a mirror. Once summoned, Candyman kills those who summon him, becoming the monster he was made to be. Antony’s fascination becomes an obsession as now all he can do or think about is related to the urban legend. Anthony has unknowingly unleashed Candyman back onto the streets of gentrified Chicago. Will this obsession be his downfall, or Anthony be the one to lay the legend of Candyman to rest?

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The 355 (2022)

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As far as spy thrillers go, The 355 is just okay. I didn’t hate this movie, but it also didn’t leave much of an impression. I will forget what this movie is about tomorrow, and so will you. This movie doesn’t do enough to earn a recommendation.

A drug cartel has made a device that allows the user to hack anything. The race is on to get the device before it falls into the wrong hand. This world-ending device brings together a group of unlikely characters who must work together to retrieve the device and save the world. Will they be able to save the world? Of course they do, this isn’t a deep movie.

The movie has a great cast whose talents are wasted. The biggest problem I have with this movie is with its plot, it is slow and dry. If you are going to have good actors in your movie, make sure the story takes advantage of their strengths. As far as action movies go, this movie is limited by its actors’ abilities. There are a few interesting sequences, but a lot of it is awkward. If you aren’t going to have a good story, at least make the action fun and exciting. The movie suffers as it slows down for pointless backstory, and meaningless tech babble, and it tops it all off with obvious twists. If you watch this movie, you will skip a few scenes.

You can watch this movie on Amazon with your prime membership. While it is not the worst movie out there, I wouldn’t rush out to see it.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The House of Gucci (2021)

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House of Gucci is one of the harder movies I’ve had to sit through this year. I took a break five minutes into this movie because of how bad the accents are. I have a headache from two hours of this nonsense. Save yourself the trouble and forget this movie exists.

The worst part of this movie is Lady Gaga’s performance as Patrizia Gucci. I couldn’t possibly pick a worse lead for a movie that wasn’t very good to begin with. I watched an interview with Lada Gaga where she talks about the different schools and methods of acting that she used for her performance, and I am here to tell you that none of them worked. She should stick to roles that take advantage of her limited range. The character is supposed to be a manipulative, obsessive, and powerful woman. Lady Gaga is awkward at best and flat the rest of the time. I struggled to restrain myself from skipping any of her scenes because of how boring they are.

The story doesn’t fair much better. With a better cast, I still don’t think this movie would be good. It would be easier to sit through, sure, but there isn’t enough here for a compelling story. You get to watch boring meetings, awkward conversations, relationship problems, and betrayal that happens off-screen. This story might make a good documentary, but there isn’t enough to make it the drama this film desperately wants to be. 

You can watch this movie on Amazon with your prime membership, but I wouldn’t bother. I understand why the Gucci family was offended. I am offended by them, and I am not even Italian.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Karate Kid (2010)

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I remember watching this in theaters when it first came out. I also remember the disappointment I felt after watching it. It’s been a while since then, and I thought that time and the fact that it is free would dull the disappointment, but it hasn’t. I am still as disappointed as I was before, but somehow it stings more.

This movie is a shameless rehashing of the Karate kids franchise, but you are better off watching all the originals. This is beat for beat the first Karate kid, although it does borrow elements from its sequels. The acting is awkward, the story is dumb, and it lacks the charm of the originals. I don’t believe Jaden Smith has the acting ability that his father wishes he had, and as a result, we’ve gotten a series of bad movies that aren’t worth your time. Maybe he’s a better musician, but I don’t see any awards in his future.

I am glad the Karate Kid Franchise got its proper reboot with Kobra Kai. If you haven’t seen that show, I highly recommend it. There is a bit of high school drama that you can skip over, but overall it is a nice continuation of the saga.

You can find this movie on YouTube for free, but I wouldn’t bother.

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Movie Review: The Night House(2021)

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I expected The Night House to be another badly made and generic demon possession movie. Instead, I got a creatively disorienting narrative about a woman trying to piece together and understand the sinister events that slowly unravel around her. Beth is left to pick up the pieces of her life after her husband’s sudden suicide. Unfortunately, these pieces begin to unravel the dark secrets that her husband left behind. Is Beth’s husband as innocent as she remembered, or has the grief left her chasing shadows that aren’t there?

This is a fun movie that is very much worth your time. The acting is great, the visuals are amazing, and the story is entertaining without being convoluted. I love the direction and risks this movie takes in creating a truly disorienting experience. The use of shadows, mirrors and CGI all help create an endless maze of confusion as you are left to piece together a mystery with fragments of clues. The clues given are often incomplete or misinterpreted, further adding to the confusion and mystery. The deeper Beth gets into her investigation, the more confusing narrative gets. The horror of this movie doesn’t rely on cheap jump scares, but rather on the disorienting experience the aftermath of the suicide brings. Not knowing what is going on helps emulate the same fear and confusion Beth goes through. It is an experience that is masterfully done through the blending of reality, dreams, and delusions. Watch this movie for the interesting visuals and the fantastic performance. 

Go watch this movie on HBO if you like disorienting psychological horror. It might not give you nightmares, but you will have a lot of fun with it. 

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: The Black Phone (2022)

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The Black Phone is a welcome addition to the horror genre, one that leaves me hopeful for the future of scary movies. If you are thinking of watching this movie, just buy the tickets already. This movie is worth the theater experience. This terrifyingly suspenseful thriller will have you the most stressed you have ever been in a movie as you experience the cold isolated realm carefully crafted by the Grabber.

The sleepy town of Boulder Colorado has been hit with a series of kidnappings. The town is in a panic as they fear for the safety of their young boys. The movie focuses on Fin, the Grabber’s latest victim, who has the supernatural ability to speak with the dead through an old phone. Will Fin be the one to get away, or will he be just another victim?

This is a fantastic movie with amazing actors, a great story, and well-crafted horror. There are no cheap jump scares, farfetched storylines, or torture porn here. Instead, you have a tense and stressful situation effectively created through the isolation of the room and the maddening performance of Ethan Hawk. He is creepy, he is odd, and he is frightening. Hawk is a brilliant villain whose performance alone is worth the ticket price. But this movie is not possible without the equally brilliant child actors who help fuel a lot of the tension and suspense of this movie. You couple all of this with the movie’s terrifyingly stunning visuals and editing, and you get one of the creepiest movies I have seen in a while. The Black Phone is horror done correctly.

You need to watch this movie, and it needs to be in theaters.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Exit Strategy (2012)

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Exit Strategy was a difficult sit because of how hard it tries to be quirky and funny. The problem with this movie is that the actors aren’t charismatic enough to make the movie work. The poor script and mediocre acting lead to some very flat performances and a film that is never funny. To make matters worse, the sound in this movie is horrible. I can forgive bad writing and acting but never bad sound.

The movie is about a man who finds himself trapped in a relationship he doesn’t want to be in. The girlfriend is comically insane and the harder he tries to leave, the stronger the hold she has over him becomes. The movie tries to focus on the absurdity of the situation, and a lot of the comedy is intended to come from the wacky antics its quirky characters get into, but none of the characters are quirky enough to pull it off.

This movie was a struggle as I waited for credits that took too long to roll. The jokes never land, the situations are never funny, and the story is terrible. I felt as trapped as the protagonist is supposed to feel watching a movie that got progressively worse with time. I will say that the editing was interesting. Scenes will repeat or skip and the movie would recall previous dialogue in sound bites. It gave the movie the feel like it was a nightmare, too bad this wasn’t a better movie.

You can find it free on YouTube, but it isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

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I have mentioned this before, but I am not a huge fan of the MCU. That said, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is a clear exception. I was not ready for the brutally compelling story I received. This is possibly the coolest live-action superhero movie I have ever seen. I hope Disney takes notes and keeps creating movies with the same energy.

The movie follows Doctor Strange as he encounters a young girl, America, who has the power to travel through the multiverse. It is up to Doctor Strange to keep her safe as the Scarlet Witch is after her power. Will Doctor Strange save the multiverse from catastrophe? You will have to watch to find out.

This is a great movie and one that I wholeheartedly recommend. The acting is fantastic, the wizard battles are amazing, and the story is solid. Scarlet Witch is a phenomenal villain, and Elizabeth Olsen does her part and more to bring such a great character to life. The Scarlet Witch is now my favorite villain because she has clear motives and deals with viable inner demons. She is a very competent and powerful witch, and this movie does a great job showing this through its many creative and fun battles. Her character arc is amazing and I can’t commend Elizabeth Olsen or the filmmakers enough. My only complaint is that there weren’t enough magic battles. To be fair though, if I had my way, this movie would be all wizard battles. 

The story is great. It has a solid progression, great action, and it builds to a satisfying final battle. I would suggest reading up on the MCU Scarlet Witch. There are references to Wandavision and her involvement with the infinity stones that don’t make sense unless you’ve kept up with the series. I haven’t kept up with the MCU, and I don’t feel like it is necessary to keep up with it, but it will add meaning to a few scenes. You can stream it now on Disney Plus. If you haven’t seen this movie, you should.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Heat (1995)

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If you want to see a classic and thrilling heist movie, you can find Heat free on YouTube. This heist movie focuses on a cat and mouse chase as a cop and a crook battle it out in the mean streets of Los Angeles. You have a fantastic cast telling an amazing story, what more can you ask for? Do not be intimidated by the almost three hours run time, this movie is worth every minute.

The acting in this movie is amazing with action to match. What I love about this movie is how good it is at telling the story. It pieces together different narratives in a way that never slows the pacing of the movie. I love how it is able to tell a story with small scenes or moments. You have a cop dealing with his crumbling marriage as his obsession with his job interferes with his life. You have the story of a young girl working with her abandonment issues. You have the crook who is addicted to the game, and the movie becomes more of the chase than the score. These stories blend together and build up to a final satisfying confrontation. It is brilliant, and if you haven’t seen this movie, you should do so now! You can find it free on YouTube.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Murder at Yellowstone City (2022)

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I love westerns and Murder at Yellowstone City is a murder mystery with the western aesthetic that almost scratches my itch. While it does lean a bit heavily into its white guilt preaching for my taste, it is a solid murder mystery that I have little trouble recommending. If you like westerns and want a murder mystery that isn’t a comedy and won’t disappoint, you can’t go wrong with this movie. The acting is solid, the story is fine, and the mystery is well crafted. The mystery is solvable, but if you miss clues, you will be kept guessing till the big reveal.

The town of Yellowstone City struggles to keep afloat as the only company it keeps are the whores and the desperate prospectors. Hope shines on this forgotten outpost when gold is discovered, but the man who would bring the town new prosperity is gunned down in the dead of night. All clues point to the stranger who just strolled in. Did he do it, or is there something more sinister afoot?

I can’t lie, this movie feels longer than it is. There are a lot of preachy pc moments that stop the movie and feel out of place. While I don’t have an issue with woke messaging, there is a time and a place for it. In Murder at Yellowstone City, it really hurts the pacing of the movie. Scenes will stop for some wholesome political correct messaging when the movie should be solving murders and getting into gun fights. I definitely felt issues with the pacing throughout the second half, but it isn’t unwatchable. Ironically, the movie spends its run time trying to prove that not all white people were racist, only to end a little racist. 

If you like murder mysteries, this is a fun one that isn’t a comedy. If you like westerns, I would consider it. I appreciated the western aesthetic, but it doesn’t have the grit and conflict that make westerns fun and exciting. I guess what I am trying to say is, that it is good enough.