I just watched A Tourist’s Guide to Love, and it is as cheesy as you’d expect. While I prefer it to Ghosted, it is a hard movie to recommend because the writing is terrible. This movie is another lazy generic romance movie, but one with decent actors who give solid performances.
Amanda finds herself trapped in her boring routined life. When her boyfriend of five years breaks up with her, she goes on a work trip to Vietnam. Amanda intended to do research for her job, but she discovers something more meaningful. She finds love. Her charming handsome tour guide shows her more than just the sights; he shows her how to be her truest self. But will this adventure give Amanda the courage to follow her heart, or will her business get in the way of love?
A Tourist’s Guide to Love is a bad movie, but the actors save it from being terrible. I commend the actors for doing their best with what they were given, but they deserve a better script. The plot is generic, lazy, and forgettable. There isn’t much to say about this movie because it doesn’t do anything you haven’t seen in other generic romance movies. If you enjoy the genre, you might appreciate it a bit better, but I am not sure anyone can stomach how cheesy this movie gets. The best bits of this movie is when it occasionally flashes bits of the beautiful Vietnamese scenery.
This movie has me in a weird place because it is bad, but I’ve seen a lot worse. That said, I already forgot I watched it. Don’t watch this movie unless you enjoy watching cheesy romantic movies. Even then, I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it. For those still curious, you can stream it on Netflix.
Movie Review: 65 (2023)
65 is a solid B movie with sufficient action, story, and cool-looking dinosaurs. It isn’t winning any awards, and it is a bit slow, but it is fine for what it is. If you are curious about watching this movie, throw it on in the background and enjoy the good bits. Adam Driver is transporting groups of people across space to make money for his sickly child. His latest mission is interrupted by an uncharted asteroid system that forces him to make an emergency crash landing on an undiscovered planet. He and a young girl are the ship’s only survivors. Now the two must brave a world full of dinosaurs as they make their way to the only remaining escape pod. Can they make it off this planet? The leads have good enough chemistry to make a movie with very little dialogue work. I do take some issue with the little girls’ problematic representation, but it wasn’t so bad that I had to turn it off. I would have preferred it if they spoke the same language, but the movie handles the language barrier well enough. This movie is dumb. The story is on the generic side, the science is too magical, and there is a fair amount of ex-Machina. There are also some slow bits you could gloss over, but the movie is fine. It’s fun to watch Adam Driver blasting away Dinosaurs, and the relationship the forms between the two leads is cute. It’s not a movie you should be rushing to, but it is an option when you need something in the background that doesn’t require your full attention. I liked it enough to watch it again, and I liked it a whole lot better than After Earth. So throw it on, skip through the slow bits, and enjoy this silly bit of alternate history.
Movie Review: Ghosted (2023)
I just watch Ghosted, but I wish I didn’t. This has to be one of the laziest and most boring action films I have seen, and I have sat through some terrible movies. This movie is so boring that Anna Del Armas slept through her whole performance. This movie is so boring that the best part is when they played My Sharona, even though the action scene it belongs to is terrible. For those few who were thinking of watching this movie, don’t. It is a huge waste of time.
A farmer meets a girl at a farmers market and falls madly in love with her after one date. She ghosts him. Instead of taking the hint and moving on, the farmer tracks her down without her knowledge to attempt a big romantic gesture. Instead of finding romance, the farmer finds himself in the middle of a covert CIA operation. It turns out that the love is life is a secret agent. Will he be able to find love between the rain of bullets and lies?
Ghosted starts off as one of the most awkward romcoms but quickly turns into an incredibly generic action movie. This movie doesn’t work. There is absolutely no chemistry between the leads, which was essential for this movie’s success. I blame the lack of chemistry and mediocre acting on the terrible writing. The writing for this movie is lazy. You can guess down to specific lines what will happen next. At least they had they lacked the nerve to sequel bait because that would have thrown me over a ledge.
As an action movie, it doesn’t work because the action is boring. I preferred the romcom bits of the plot because at least sometimes it would be funny. For this movie to work, it needed a tangible villain and real stakes, anything to make it less goofy.
The worst part of this movie was the couple. They meet after a very awkward and obnoxious fight and somehow still end up going on a date The guy, who everyone agrees is obsessive, uses a tracking device that only he knows about to track the romantic interest. The movie tries to play it like the male lead is quirky, but it is creepy. It doesn’t make sense when in the end they are in love because there is no reason for them to be.
I knew Ghosted was going to be bad when I saw how hard Apple was pushing it up to its release. They even shamelessly collected name-brand actors for seconds of cameos to trick people into watching this garbage. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve seen all the good parts. It even shows you bits of the climax. I avoided using names in this review because the characters are so generic that the names don’t matter. You can watch this movie on Apple TV, but I wouldn’t waste my time. Go watch Killers instead. That movie does this plot a lot better.
Movie Review: Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
While Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania isn’t the worst movie in the MCU, it isn’t worth watching either. I am glad I didn’t watch this in theaters, but I can’t justify streaming it either. The movie just feels lazy, uninspired, and anticlimactic.
An accident sends the Ant family into the quantum realm where they find another universe and a unique culture to go with it. But an evil tyrant has taken over the quantum realm and has set his sights on the Ant family. Can they beat the tyrant and save the universe?
There isn’t anything spectacular about this movie. I struggle to remember what happened, and its plot will probably fade into obscurity as soon as I publish this review. The acting feels muted, the writing isn’t good, and the action is boring. The biggest issue with this movie is the silly tone it carries throughout. Instead of building proper tension and suspense, it cuts it with a joke or gag that doesn’t always work. There are characters in this movie that exist to be a joke, never contributing anything meaningful to the plot. Even the lazy sequel bait is riddled with overused jokes that don’t land.
Another issue I have with this film is that they underutilize the villain. Instead of developing the villain and giving him a proper presence, they waste on the pointless drama that no one cares about. The villain only exists when he becomes convenient. Outside of these moments, he doesn’t exist. The tension in this movie comes from poorly written family issues, and King feels like an afterthought. We are told he is powerful and evil, and then he is easily beaten by ex-Machina. King could have been an interesting character if everything about him wasn’t so vague and he showed up to do anything meaningful.
The action of this movie feels like a generic attempt to emulate the rest of the MCU. The build-up to the climax is muddied by the silly tone this movie insists on having. As fun, as this movie tries to be, it never is. The big fight at the end feels like every super hero last-stand fight, so I stopped caring.
I don’t recommend you watch Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. Everything takes too long to happen, the action isn’t fun, and the story is boring. It isn’t the worst MCU movie, but it is going to be one of the forgettable ones. Don’t pay for it. If you end up streaming it, throw it in the background so you can ignore all the boring bits. I recommend you skip this one unless you are super invested in the MCU. Even then, it is going to be a hard sell.
Movie Review: Chupa (2023)
I almost gave up watching Chupa because it has such a weak start. While the movie did get better, I still find it difficult to recommend. If you are watching this with your kids, there are worse movies you could be sitting through. Chupa isn’t a bad movie, but it is a little too cheesy and slow for its own good. If you don’t have kids, I wouldn’t bother watching it.
Alex has a hard time dealing with the death of his father. He also has trouble fitting in at school because of his race. Alex is lonely and ashamed of his race. Despite his protests, Alex is sent to Mexico to spend the summer with his grandfather. In Mexico, Alex and his cousins find a chupacabra. Through their adventure together, Chupa will become more than just a monster. He will become a friend.
The story is what you would expect from any other friendly monster kids movie. The plot is predictable, but I did enjoy the Mexican flavor sprinkled throughout. It was nice to hear the familiar dialect, and I enjoyed the luchador backstory. The actors are easily the best part of the movie, and they give the film its charm. The performances may not be award-winning, but it saves this movie from being terrible. It also helps that the chupacabra is adorable.
I liked that this movie tries something different with the genre. Instead of Alex finding a friend and getting the girl, he becomes close to his family. Chupa also attempts to tackle heavy subjects like grief and loneliness, but it doesn’t go deep enough. What hurts the movie is its pacing. It has a very slow buildup and then rushes to the end. It may be fine for a kids’ movie, but it leaves a bit to be desired.
Chupa is an okay kids’ movie. I didn’t hate it, but I wouldn’t have watched it otherwise. It’s a bit too slow at times and boring at others, but it is never bad. Unless you have kids, I wouldn’t bother watching it. If you have kids, you have better options, but it is an option. You can stream it on Netflix, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.
Image By 26th Street Pictures/Netflix – http://www.impawards.com/2023/chupa.html, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=73289413
Movie Review: Murder Mystery 2 (2023)
I liked Murder Mystery, so I was excited about this sequel. I wasn’t expecting a comedic masterpiece, but I at least thought it would be entertaining. Murder Mystery 2 is a lazy sequel and a waste of time. It was clear that this movie was made for a paycheck because it lacks any of the charm or humor to make it work. If you want to sit through a boring and predictable mystery, go ahead and queue this up.
The Spitz find themselves in the middle of another mystery. Someone is framing them for a kidnapping they didn’t do, and now the race is on to piece it all together before they are sent to jail. Can they do it in time? Yes, they do, and it is boring.
There isn’t much to say about this movie because no one is trying. The writing is lazy, the mystery is predictable, and the acting is okay at best. As a comedy, this movie is rarely funny. The jokes that did make me laugh aren’t worth sitting through this movie. The mystery is so poorly written that you can solve it in the first few minutes without even trying. You will know who did it as soon as they walk into the scene.
This movie is so uninspired and unremarkable that I have already forgotten what it was about. It was such a waste of time that I considered turning it off after only thirty minutes, but I powered through it knowing it wasn’t going to get better. If you liked the first one, rewatch that instead. If you are curious about this movie, don’t be. It isn’t good You can stream it on Netflix, but I wouldn’t waste my time.
Movie Review: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
I know we were supposed to boycott Honor Among Thieves because of how greedy Hasbro is, but my wife wanted to watch it. I couldn’t miss out on the rare opportunity to nerd out with her. She doesn’t care much for my love for D&D, so I was hopeful that this would be my chance to bring her into the hobby. I am still working on convincing her, but at least she enjoyed the movie.
Chris pine is a charismatic bard who turns to a life of crime when his wife is brutally murdered. On his last job, he gets captured and sentenced to jail. On his release, he discovers that the man he trusted his daughter to has taken her. It is now up to him and a band of misfits he has gathered to go on an epic adventure and get her back. Do they have what it takes to overcome the evils this world has to offer?
I had a ton of fun with this movie. The characters are charismatic, the D&D references are fantastic, and the balance between comedy and action is perfect. There was a fear going into this movie that it would sacrifice tension and suspense for one-liners and dumb gags, but I was surprised by how well this movie did. Honor Among Thieves knows when to break the tension with a joke, but it also knows when to be serious to build its suspense. The fight scenes are tense and epic, and I dare you to sit through this whole movie without laughing.
The actors are great. The chemistry between the characters is fantastic, and they play off each other so well. I think this movie works so well because of how well the actors play their characters. If nothing else, they look like they are having fun with this movie. Instead of a generic comedic action or fantasy movie, it felt like a D&D campaign adapted into a film.
If you know nothing about Dungeons and Dragons, you don’t need to. I enjoyed all the references to spells, monsters, and rules, but I didn’t find it necessary to understand what is going on. My wife doesn’t know anything about the game but enjoyed it tremendously. The movie is just a fun adventure with magic and maybe a dragon or two. My only complaint is that the movie is a bit predictable, but it is fine for what it is.
If you are thinking of watching Honor Among Thieves, watch it in theaters. This movie is at least worth a discounted ticket, but I understand the need to boycott it.
Excellence in Narrative: Immorality
This year’s winner for the IGF’s Excellence in Narrative award went to Immorality, a fantastically done mystery about the cinema. Marissa Marcel was a prominent actress with great promises, but she disappeared after making three unreleased movies. With your ability, you must jump between these movies to piece together what happened to Marissa Marcel.
Immorality is a beautiful mystery as you get to jump between scenes filmed with real actors. It is a very creative way to tell a story and one with many choices to make. I have always missed this genre of gaming, but I was fortunate to try this for a few minutes. My experience left me wanting more because everything was well done. I love the grainy feel of the footage you sift through, the acting is fantastic, and the concept is so good. I will be trying to get myself a copy of this for review, but till then, you should at least Wishlist this.
You can buy Immorality on Steam, Xbox, and GOG for $19.99. The game is currently on sale at GOG for $14.99 or free on Game Pass if you have a subscription.
Movie Review: John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
If you’ve seen any of the movies in the John Wick universe, you have probably already watched 4 in theaters. If you haven’t, now is the perfect time to buy those tickets. John Wick: Chapter 4 delivers on its promise to be a more epic action-packed sequel, but one that brings its charm to the franchise. This time Mr. Wick wages his war against the secret organization behind it all, but will this war finally bring the peace he’s been after?
The story of this movie doesn’t matter, but the film attempts to develop its lore a bit more. Don’t expect deep character development or storytelling. Most of you are watching this movie for the death and destruction Mr. Wick leaves behind. This movie doubles down on its violence, but I will be the first to admit that it could have been shorter. Don’t get me wrong, there are some fantastic action scenes, but some go on for too long. It isn’t enough to ruin the movie, but three hours is a long time to sit in theaters. Don’t be afraid to take breaks between the main characters; you won’t miss anything critical.
John Wick 4 has amazing choreography. This combined with its creative camera works makes for some epic action sequences. You need to watch this movie in theaters at least once to appreciate the work that went into making this movie as epic as it is. I love the colors, the scores, and the costumes that make this a beautifully vibrant and violent fantasy.
What I enjoyed most about this movie are the unique characters it introduces. While it isn’t without its faceless hordes, some villains will stand out and give this movie its charm. My favorite character in the series is Cain, played by the talented Donnie Yen. Cain is a refreshing take on the genre’s villains while also introducing an interesting dilemma for Mr. Wick. I won’t spoil what it is, but it added some of the depth the movie needed. In an interview, Donnie Yen told reporters that he worked hard to make Cain into something that wasn’t a traditional Asian stereotype. This work has paid off, and you need to watch this movie to appreciate it.
I can’t stress this enough, if you haven’t watched this movie, go out and buy the tickets. It may not be perfect, but it is home to some of the most epic action sequences put to film.
Movie Review: The Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022)
Puss In Boots: The Last Wish is the first and only movie I’ve seen from the spin-off. I am honestly surprised that The Last Wish wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. If you have to sit through this movie with your kids, you won’t hate it, but it won’t be one of your favorites. As it stands, this film is a decent kids’ movie that you can stream on Peacock.
Puss in Boots finds himself on the last of his nine lives. Facing his newly discovered mortality, Puss becomes afraid of death for the very first time in his life. Instead of facing his problems head-on in his usual arrogant way, Puss decides to spend the rest of his life hiding as a normal cat. But the quiet life doesn’t stick, and Puss finds himself on another adventure with a pair of unlikely companions as they look for the wishing star. Can they make find the star before Death claims the Puss in Boots?
The plot is silly and as simple as you would expect from a kid’s film. The voice acting, art, and music are fantastic. I love the art style in this movie, especially for the fight scenes. The action is well-choreographed, but it isn’t without its moments of silliness. There are a lot of sight gags and body humor that didn’t always land, but they never got obnoxious. I loved all the cat jokes a bit more than I should have.
There isn’t much more I can say about this movie because it is another movie where the brooding, edgy protagonists learn the value of friendship. The villains aren’t dynamic, and the story is basic, but I wouldn’t expect more from a kids’ movie. The Last Wish is cute, fun, and perfect for your next movie night. It might not have the lasting power of Shrek, but it won’t be the worst kids’ movie you’ll have to sit through. You can stream it on Peacock.