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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: What Josiah Saw (2022)

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What Josiah Saw is a fantastic horror movie made by our friends over at Shudder. If you don’t have a Shudder subscription, this movie alone is worth the free trial. Shudder also offers a wide selection of horror movies so you can fuel a nice little Summerween marathon. This is not an endorsement of the platform, I just happened to pick up the trial on a whim and had the good fortune of stumbling upon this movie.

What Josiah Saw is the story of three siblings dealing with an unspoken trauma from their childhood. The film is broken up into segments, each focusing on a different sibling until it all comes together nicely at the end. The movie does a great job of showing how their trauma still haunts and affects their adulthood. I don’t want to say any more about this movie because I don’t want to ruin anything.

I loved this movie so much that I have already watched it multiple times. There was a good amount of effort put into this movie, and it all pays off. Every narrative, scene, and even dialogue has been calculated to create this chilling mystery. I still keep finding small details and clues that I missed the first time around. As a note, there are certain actions the characters take, things they say, and even small items that come to focus that won’t make initially, but they will at the end if you’ve been paying attention.

The acting is amazing, the story is uncomfortably chilling, and the cinematography is phenomenal. You have great tension to keep you at the edge of your seat, uncomfortable scenes that will make you squirm, and a twist that will shock you to your core. This is a movie where the filmmakers truly understand what makes good horror. You need to watch this movie, especially if you are a fan of horror. Even if you aren’t, this is a fantastic movie that you need to force yourself to sit through eventually. Stream it on Shudder!

Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Glorious (2022)

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I didn’t know what I was getting myself into with this movie, but I didn’t hate it. Sure it has its issues, but it is an interesting concept that is done fairly well. Glorious is a movie about a conversation between a god and a Wes that happens inside a rest stop bathroom. The god appears to Wes and spends the whole movie trying to convince him to sacrifice himself in order to save the universe from complete destruction. It is a bit pretentious as it talks about destiny and duty, but it is hard not to be when discussing these topics.

As far as horror movies go, this one isn’t scary. There are a few jump scares and some gross scenes, but it is all pretty tame. I would argue that it is more of a comedy because there is a bit of slapstick, but hardly any of the jokes land. The acting is okay, but there are some very awkward reads that are hard to overlook. The set and cheap special effects fit the overall tone of the movie. This movie gets very cheesy, but I never hated it for it. The story is okay. This movie takes a few unique risks, and they mostly pay off. Not everything they discuss is interesting, but it never got so bad I wanted to turn off the movie. The narrative properly builds to a nice twist, one that you can figure out if you pay attention to the conversation. I liked that it was a plausible twist because of all the clues scattered throughout the movie. This movie does a nice job of complicating the idea of the protagonist and heroes. This movie was definitely a nice surprise, but it is a surprise that is hard to recommend. 

This is a good movie if you like weird experimental films and don’t mind the low budget and the general cheesiness. If you have a Shudder subscription, go for it. Otherwise, I would hold off.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Men (2022)

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I enjoyed Men, but I find it difficult to recommend because of its pacing. While the movie is beautiful, it is a slow burn that won’t be for everyone.

Harper is dealing with the recent suicide of her husband. 

In an effort to get over this trauma, she decides to spend some time in the beautiful English countryside. She slowly begins to find peace in her isolation, but strange things begin to unfold. Something is up with the men around her, but will she find out what before it is too late?

Mechanically, this movie is great. The acting is fantastic, the score is phenomenal, the imagery is beautiful, and the horror is well done. This is a unique horror movie in that it doesn’t rely on cheap jump scares. The horror comes from the uncomfortable and confusing situations it creates. The isolations, the aggressive men, and the weirdness that carries through the movie all come together to create a very ominous tone. The problem is that sometimes it takes too long for anything to happen.

If you have seen Hereditary or Midsommar you are familiar with the slow-moving imagery that is woven throughout the film. It is often cryptic and adds meaning to the narrative. In this movie, for example, there is a slow-moving closeup of a statue whose visage acts as foreshadowing for events that will occur later in the film. It’s an interesting form of storytelling that I appreciate, but its effectiveness has worn off. This movie didn’t need this much imagery. It almost feels like filler because of how often it would happen. I am sure that if you weave these scenes together and take the time to study them, they create a more meaningful narrative, but as a filthy casual, I don’t have time for that. I just want to sit back and enjoy a good horror movie. 

If you have the patience for the pacing and enjoy these odd horror movies with their even stranger twists, Man is a solid choice. If you just want some mindless horror to enjoy on a Friday night, this isn’t for you.

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Movie Review: Master (2022)

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Master is psychological that is in an interesting spot in the genre. Where some might make their monster more symbolic, Master is clear that the monster is racism. This movie is uncomfortable, and it is not because it is a ghost story. It is uncomfortable because it is an experience that people have had and continue to have despite years of progress. It is very well done and well worth your time.

Master is the story of two African-American women at a prestigious New England university. Gail is the newly appointed Dorm mother and a tenured professor at the school, while Jasmine begins her freshman year there. The film shows how both have trouble fitting into the school’s culture, and it makes important criticisms about race and society.

This movie made me very uncomfortable because it reminded me of a lot of what I went through growing up as a person of color. Being different in a school where most people are white is draining. There is a lot of pressure that is unfairly put on people of color, especially when they try to join a culture that was historically created for white males. The depression, paranoia, and sense of not belonging are real issues that come from the inevitable culture clash. Although my experience wasn’t as bad as what is in the movie, a lot of the emotions and pressures are ones I am familiar with. 

Jasmine and Gail are used as mirrors to show that no matter how much one has accomplished, or the amount of progress society has made, racial discrimination continues to be an issue. As much as they try to fit in by changing how they look or talk, they will always be outsiders. Nothing changes. The movie does a fantastic job recreating this sense of isolation and pressure. It perfectly creates monsters out of something so mundane. This film is frightening because the experience and feelings depicted are real. 

This is a fantastic and important narrative told by some great actors. Some of the parts do get preachy, and the film slows a bit, but it is an important narrative told properly. Go watch this on Amazon with your Prime Membership. 

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Movie Review: Candyman 2021

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If you haven’t seen the new Candyman, what are you doing? Go watch this movie now and thank me after. This is a beautiful horror movie that is well worth your time. This film not only expands the lore of the original but gives it new life. Watching the original is not a requirement, this film does a fantastic job at providing enough context to make the narrative make sense. I remember watching the original when I was younger and remember liking it although admittedly, it did scare me. I vaguely remember the plot but I never felt lost by what was happening.

The movie follows the artist Anthony McCoy who is in search of inspiration for his next show. His search brings him to the urban legend of the Candyman. Candyman is the soul of a wronged man who can be summoned by saying his name five times to a mirror. Once summoned, Candyman kills those who summon him, becoming the monster he was made to be. Antony’s fascination becomes an obsession as now all he can do or think about is related to the urban legend. Anthony has unknowingly unleashed Candyman back onto the streets of gentrified Chicago. Will this obsession be his downfall, or Anthony be the one to lay the legend of Candyman to rest?

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Movie Review: Slash/Back (2022)

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Slash/Back is a low-budget horror movie that you should at least consider supporting. The acting isn’t great, and the special effects are cheesy, but it tells an important story from an under-represented perspective. I had enough fun with this movie that I feel comfortable recommending it, but I understand it is not for everyone.

In a remote arctic village in Canada, a group of teens lives their lives in their under-resourced community wishing for something exciting to happen. Unfortunately, this dream comes true when aliens start terrorizing their little town. Now it is up to them to save the town and possibly the world.

Slash/Back deals with a lot of important issues that are often overlooked in modern and popular cinema. You have a group of capable female protagonists who struggle with the clashing of their native culture and the invasive culture of colonization. This is a story of an underfunded community dealing with the symptoms of poverty: substance abuse, racism, and feeling trapped and bound by the lack of opportunities. It is a story that is very relatable to me, and one I appreciate seeing every time. I love how this movie blends the monster film genre with Inuit folklore while it makes important social commentary. More importantly, it was cool to see that the actors in this movie are from the represented community and not a random assortment of brown people like they have in movies like Apocalypto.

The biggest issue with this movie is its acting. The story follows a group of teenage girls who don’t have much acting experience. It is fine for the most part, but the effects are clear. There are tense or suspenseful movies that aren’t do not land because the acting range isn’t there. You couple the lack of acting talent with cheesy special effects, and this isn’t the scary movie it wants to be. It doesn’t ruin the movie, I know for a fact that there are worse movies out there, but I would be remiss if I didn’t at least mention the film’s flaws. It is not unwatchable, but something to keep in mind.

You should watch and support this movie because there need to be more diverse voices in cinema. Flaws aside, this movie is fine that deserves your support. 

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Movie Review: Apartment 1303 (2012)

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You can watch Apartment 1303 for free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother. The acting is terrible, the sound is bad, and the story isn’t interesting. The movie focuses on two sisters who move into apartment 1303 to get away from a drunk and abusive mother. They live in this apartment at different times, but both will experience the ominous presence of the ghosts that live there. It makes me wonder how this complex exists when half the residents are ghosts. 

Apartment 1303 fails as a horror movie in every regard. The poor acting and lack of any emotion kill any suspense this poorly written movie could have had. Its garbage sound mixing means you hear every breath and rustling in the background, and it gets distracting. The soundtrack is played on a speaker one room over, and once from a pair of wireless headphones. The plot is full of holes and continuity errors. There are lines of dialogue that contradict themselves in the same breath. This movie is lazy, boring, and a huge waste of time.

I do, however, want to take a moment to overanalyze the plot a bit. Usually, in horror movies, a character will make frustratingly incompetent choices that lead to their demise, like staying in an apartment everyone says is haunted. In this movie, I don’t blame the characters for not leaving the apartment. Apartment 1303 is a one-bedroom high-rise apartment in downtown Detroit that is definitely nicer and bigger than the one I am currently living in. The rent was only $700 a month with a full kitchen, a large living room, a full-sized bathtub, and a balcony with a nice view of the lake. I could put aside my fear of ghosts for $700 of rent. The sisters were also escaping an abusive mother who was desperately clinging to her failed career as a singer. I would choose the ghost too, especially after hearing her music. This movie is dumb, but living in the haunted apartment is blameless.

Anyways, this movie is free on YouTube, but I wouldn’t bother.

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Movie Review: Awake (2021

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Awake is incredibly disappointing. Awake is a horror movie where the monster is human nature. People are no longer able to sleep, and sleep deprivation is slowly killing humanity. Now the race is on to find a cure before humanity goes extinct. The movie focuses on a dysfunctional family and their survival. You get to watch as society crumbles under the weight of sleep deprivation.

This movie is alright. The acting is decent, the action is appropriate, but the ending is terrible. This is a great example of a movie that uses its run time to build up to nothing. What makes this movie hard to recommend is that it makes some solid artistic choices, but it doesn’t make enough of them to make this movie work. Awake is good at showing the story rather than relying on exposition. For example, in the first few minutes, you are introduced to Jill who is a recovering addict who is trying to give her family a better life. You know this because the son will check the car for drugs or they will make slights at the mom for being late or looking tired. You get a lot of Jill’s back story without the characters having to explicitly say anything about it. I liked this form of storytelling and hope more movies can follow suit.

I liked Jill as a character. She isn’t perfect, some of her dialogue isn’t good, but she has some redeemable moments. Jill is smart, capable, and most importantly, human. Jill doesn’t go into situations guns blazing like she is immortal. Instead, she takes the time to think and only engages when she has to because there are stakes. These stakes give the movie much-needed tension, too bad it leads nowhere.

I can’t recommend this movie. There are parts of this movie that I liked, but I can’t forgive the ending. The movie does a good job of introducing different plausible conclusions. There could be a cure, God’s wrath, scientific mumbo-jumbo, or even aliens. But instead, the movie ends in disappointment. SPOILERS: The movie ends with a baptism. As a way to start over. The kids figure that people need to die to start over so they take Jill to the river and drown her and then the movie ends. You don’t know if the cure worked. You don’t know what happens to humanity. It just ends and I was left bitter about it.

Don’t watch this movie. This is another failed attempt at another A Quite Place clone. Go watch that instead. But if yo don’t believe me, you can watch it on Netflix.

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Movie Review: Kept Woman (2015)

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Kept Woman is a horror movie where the monster is toxic masculinity. The film is about a strong, intelligent, independent Jessica who is kidnapped and forced to live the rest of her life as a 1950’s American housewife in her neighbor’s basement. It is a story about the struggle between modern womanhood and the pressure of an always creeping outdated ideal. Kept Woman attempts to create horror in the mundane, almost like in Stepford Wives or Get Out. The monster isn’t scary, but rather the need for idyllic perfection. As a result, there are some beautiful set designs, but faulty execution.

The movie spends the first half of the movie establishing Jessica as the here. She is a quirky and intelligent amateur sleuth. The movie wastes so much time on her development, that the horror is limited to the last 30 minutes of the film. It is dull and disappointing. I believe the intent was to build up to a powerful moment when she escapes, but it doesn’t pan out as such. It feels rushed and forced. Some cool moments in this movie suggest that a bigger budget and better writing might have saved this movie, but as is, this movie is a waste of time. 

If you want a movie with the same plot done better, watch 10 Cloverfield Lane. It has the same plot done better, even with the whole alien subplot. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch it on Amazon Video with a Prime subscription. 

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Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

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The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the best-rebooted horror franchise I’ve seen so far. It isn’t going to win any awards, but it is a lot of fun. This movie knows what it is, and it does it well. Texas Chainsaw Massacre goes back to its slasher roots and capitalizes on what makes the genre great. The Leatherface is blood-thirsty, and it makes for some very cool deaths. If you are a fan of slasher movies, this will be a solid revisit to the genre.

Out of the remakes I have seen so far, Texas Chainsaw Massacre has the best pacing. Everything is concise and self-contained to the town. There is no needless back story or lazy tie-ins. There isn’t a whole lot of self-service for the legacy characters or the original franchise. The movie introduces the main characters and starts killing them almost immediately. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have to wait through a bunch of meaningless reinvented lore to get to what makes this movie fun.

The characters are fine for what they are, although they are a bit insufferable. You spend enough time with them to care, or not care about them. You don’t get long-winded backstories that add nothing to the plot. The acting is good for the type of movie. The plot doesn’t feel long and drawn out. The kills and action are great, and although some are cheesy, it sets this film apart from the other reboots. Overall, I don’t think this is a movie you can keep coming back to, but if you have nothing else to do, at least it’s not Holloween. You can find this movie on Netflix.

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