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Movie Review: The Gray Man (2022)

Netflix continues its trend of releasing disappointing star-studded films that don’t deserve your time. You are better off not watching Gray Man because even with its amazing cast, it fails to make a tangible impression. This might not be the worst movie on the platform, but I have already forgotten I watched it.

The movie is about a secret agent who magically stumbles onto a McGuffin of a conspiracy. The film is a series of action movie tropes strung together by awkwardly rendered chase scenes, all building up to a very disappointing ending.

The acting is easily the best part. The only exception would be Regé-Jean Page’s terrible American accent, but his accent isn’t what ruins the movie. The quality of the rest of the movie falls flat in comparison. There are a few moments of competence, like the phone conversations written in creative code to hide from surveillance or when Ryan Gosling refuses to throw a gun because it is dangerous that shows promise. There are even attempts at symbolism, but these efforts are wasted because the rest of the movie isn’t good.

Gray Man is a movie without a plot. There is a giant disappointing Mcguffin, an uninspired villain, and too many plot holes. The villain kills for the sake of killing, and the hero chases because it is in the script. There is no tension because Ryan Gosling has the ungodly ability to sense danger before it happens. I wouldn’t mind the lack of plot if the action was better.

The action here is unintelligible. If the fights aren’t poorly rendered, they are stiff and boring. There is a terrible fight scene on a plane that gave me motion sickness. Chase scenes don’t fare any better as they suffer from the same afflictions. Gray Man is an action movie that forgot to add its action.

If Netflix continues this trend, it won’t survive the streaming wars. The service is losing subscribers because it can’t secure content people want to watch, and the original content it has been releasing has been subpar. There are a few exceptions, but there aren’t enough good Netflix originals to give the service the lasting power it is desperately grasping at. 

Don’t watch this movie.

Movie Review: Love and Monsters (2020)

Love and Monsters is a lighthearted movie about surviving the end of the world. If you haven’t seen it or are thinking about it, think no more. Go watch it! This cheesy fun movie is a delight and you can watch it on Amazon if you have a Prime membership.  

Humans are once again the catalyst for the world ending events that drive the narrative of this film. Animals have mutated because of the radiation, killing off most of the human population. The survivors now live scattered across the globe in small colonies. The movie focuses on Joel, an average guy who is incapable of taking action. Joel freezes at the sight of danger and as a result is left to cook and repair stuff for the colony he lives in. Joel is done waiting around and decides to venture out into the monster infested world to find his long lost girlfriend. Will Joel find the strength and courage to survive in a post apocalyptic California, or will the monsters make a meal of him? 

Love and Monsters is a lot of fun, especially if you are a fan of Zombieland. It shares a similar style, but not as edgy. It is light hearted and cute, but there are real dangers lurking around the landscape. I loved the monster design, and each monster encounter was thrilling despite the overall tone of the movie.  

Joel is played by a fantastic actor who brings this movie to life with his quirky nervousness. It is fun to see his character develop as he faces and overcomes adversities. He is also has some amazing chemistry with every actor he interacts with, including the dog. Joels charisma and chemistry with his costars create the tone necessary to make this movie work. With narratives like this, you need a lead with enough charisma to drive the plot and make the audience care.  

As far as stories go, its fine. You’ve seen movies like this before but it’s done well. It is a little cheesy but the cheese gives this movie its charm.  

Movie Review: 1UP(2022)

1up is possibly the best modern video game movie out right now. The story is great, the characters are fun and memorable, and the acting is solid. It might be a low-budget film and a bit on the cheesy side, but it is a fun story that you are sure to enjoy. If you have a Prime Membership, you should be watching this movie.

V and her friend Sloan are the only girls on their college’s esports team. As a result, they deal with the constant discrimination that comes within the misogynistic world of gaming. They are pushed to the sidelines, not because they lack the skill, but because they are women. Fed up, the girls quit and decide to form an all-girls team. Now they must learn to work together to prove to the world that girls can be gamers too.

I have grown to be wary of video game movies because most of the time dialogue is just a series of gamer terms strung together in a desperate attempt to be hip. Worse yet, women in these movies tend to be very one-dimensional and quirky in the worst way. I am tired of poorly written female leads designed to fit males’ obsolete image of women. 1UP does a better job than most movies. The girls are still archetypes, but at least they aren’t characters. I like that they have real tangible goes, and they work towards them. Best of all, they feel like a group of friends who just want to play video games.

This movie is a fun underdog story. The characters are silly and lovable. The pacing is perfect as it builds up to a satisfying conclusion. It does follow a lot of the tropes and themes that are common in the genre, but I had enough fun with this movie where it doesn’t matter. The way gaming is woven into the narrative is fun and exciting. I loved the dramatized fights and how intense the tournaments were even if they weren’t clicking the right buttons. Most importantly, it deals with an experience that movies about gaming tend to ignore. Being a girl who likes gaming is hard. Being a gamer girl comes with a lot of stigma and misogyny. This movie does a decent job at addressing a lot of these issues, but it does so softly. They could go a lot harsher in showing how bad it gets, but I will take what I can get. 

This is a fun movie that I recommend to everyone. Even if you don’t play video games or have never touched a MOBA, this film does a good enough job where it doesn’t matter. You won’t get lost in the jargon or the gaming, but I can’t say the same for the story. I loved this story. I urge you to watch it on Amazon. 

TV Series Review: The Wilds (2022)

The Wilds is a modern reimagining of the novel Lord of the Flies. While it isn’t a direct adaptation, the show expands on themes explored in the novel. The show focuses on a group of girls who are stranded on an island and are forced to survive its elements. The island will test the girl’s resilience as well as a lot of their resolve. Will they survive this strange new world, or will it be too much?

I liked this show more than I thought I would. The acting is great, the story is fun, and the suspense is killer. The series is structured as interviews recounting the girls’ time on the island. Each girl represents an archetype of the female identity, but each is unique enough that they are more than the personality trait they represent. It was interesting to see each girl overcome their own hurdle as they adapted to life on the island.

The show will jump between different narratives as it pieces together what happened on the island. The show constantly jumps between the present, the island, and each character’s backstory in an almost formula. You get a scene of the interview that will cut to an event on the island which will further cut to the back story. I liked this structure, but it does get a bit tedious towards the end. The back stories are fine, but it definitely feels as if they are pandering for sympathy. As a result, pacing can become an issue, but it is never unwatchable. 

The Wilds explores themes like gender roles, mental illness, personality, and ethics as it shows the complications of building a functioning society. For the most part, it is well done, but there are moments where the show reaches for explanations. The show is a bit cheesy and it leans more on the fantasy side, but it makes for a good story. I found great difficulty pulling myself away from this series because of how invested I was in the narrative. You should watch this show. Check it out on Amazon if you have a Prime membership. 

Game Review: Blackguards 2 (Nintendo Switch)

I received this Blackguards 2  as a review code for the Nintendo Switch. I would like to take this moment to thank Daedalic Entertainment for the opportunity, and I hope I can continue to do more reviews for the company in the future. That said, I will not let this affect my review. This will be my honest opinion of the game. 

Screenshot from my playthrough

Blackguards 2 is an action turn based-strategy RPG where you control a team of heroes and mercenaries through a series of combat scenarios and puzzles. The game focuses on Cassia, a wronged woman who seeks revenge by taking her ex-husband’s kingdom from him. Her husband locked her up and left her to die. Will she be able to lead her army and achieve her revenge, or will she succumb to her ever-creeping madness?

I had a lot of fun with this game when it worked properly. You can set traps, ambush enemies, and use the environment to earn your victory. Unfortunately, the enemy AI is inconsistent, and some levels will not work as intended. Sometimes I was greeted by tactical enemies who forced me to earn my victory. Other times the enemy would stand still while I slaughtered them relentlessly. If you are smarter than me (and you probably are) you can find ways to break the Ai and breeze through combat easily. There is also a light puzzle element that is heavily impacted by how the enemy AI chooses to act. I failed a few puzzles because the AI became ungodly.

My biggest issue with the combat was the pathing. There are levels where you will have to choose your pathing hex by hex; this will prove tedious. If you allow the pathing to be chosen for you, your heroes will run into fire or traps that will kill them instantly. Each level can also have invisible traps that require special skills to see. These will create incredibly frustrating moments as you watch your heroes die instatly for stepping on random particles. This game can become incredibly frustrating and impossible to beat if you are not careful or paying attention. 

The graphics for the game are fine, but nothing special. On some levels, the bloom and high contrast make it hard to see enemies and traps. I felt this to be especially true in handheld mode where it would be hard to see even the pathing. It doesn’t help that the camera controls don’t let you rotate the camera horizontally, making it hard to select some units or objectives. If you are going to play this game, I suggest you play this on a bigger screen. 

Customization can be overwhelming if you are new to the genre. You can buy and earn gear to customize your units to fit your play style. You can also buy skills, spells, and feats to make your heroes more heroic. I found customizing my units to be a hassle as the UI felt clunky most of the time. Unfortunately, skills and feats you buy impact combat, making dealing with the UI a necessary evil. 

Screenshot

I enjoyed the story for the most part. I adored the voice acting, although the sound mixing isn’t consistent. I thought the characters were fine although they do fall into the same tropes you are probably used to. The world-building in this game comes from conversations you have with NPCs in the hubs, but it stops the information you gather stops being interesting halfway through. The game does offer you choices to make, but I didn’t feel like they impacted gameplay. 

I didn’t hate this game, but I can’t ignore its issues. When this game worked, I had a blast! Unfortunately, the bugs make victories anticlimactic, losses frustrating, and on some levels unnecessarily difficult. This game fills a specific niche, so if you don’t like strategy games, I wouldn’t bother. If you do like the genre, I would wait for it to go on sale. It isn’t worth the $10. You can play this on Mac, PC, Xbox, Playstation, and on the Nintendo Switch.

This game is currently on sale on steam for $.99. It is definitely worth that much.

TV Series Review: The Summer I Turned Pretty

The Summer I Turned Pretty turned out to be a solid coming-of-age story that I didn’t hate. Usually, I stay away from these types of shows because I am not the target audience, but I am glad I didn’t. If you are the target audience or love sappy reverse harems, this is a decent one you can find on Amazon.

The show focuses on Belly who has just grown out of her awkward teen phase. She takes it upon herself to make the most of her summer and try to find love as well as define who she is. Will she find love, or will she be overwhelmed by the new world she is setting off into?

While the show does follow some of the tropes and the characters are a bit two-dimensional, it stands out against others I’ve seen. It is a lot tamer, the characters are likable, and the story is interesting. I liked that the show doesn’t rely heavily on fan service, current slang, or over-the-top quirky characters to trick people into watching it. You have a solid cast, some heartwarming moments, and some very real situations despite the narrative existing in a bubble.

The whole story takes place in a vacation town, far removed from most problems. It allows Belly to exist in this world where she can be the main character for once and also gives her the opportunity to find herself. The show handles a very complicated period in our lives pretty well. I liked watching Belly grow from her experiences and mistakes, but I was a bit disappointed by the ending. My problem with this story is that this is a very specific experience that plays out like a fantasy. As a result, the story is a bit sappy, but it never got cringy or unwatchable. I think if you are the target audience and enjoy these types of dramas you will enjoy this show a bit better.

You can watch this on Amazon with your prime membership. While I wouldn’t go out of my way to watch it, you won’t hate it if you do.  

Movie Review: Candyman 2021

If you haven’t seen the new Candyman, what are you doing? Go watch this movie now and thank me after. This is a beautiful horror movie that is well worth your time. This film not only expands the lore of the original but gives it new life. Watching the original is not a requirement, this film does a fantastic job at providing enough context to make the narrative make sense. I remember watching the original when I was younger and remember liking it although admittedly, it did scare me. I vaguely remember the plot but I never felt lost by what was happening.

The movie follows the artist Anthony McCoy who is in search of inspiration for his next show. His search brings him to the urban legend of the Candyman. Candyman is the soul of a wronged man who can be summoned by saying his name five times to a mirror. Once summoned, Candyman kills those who summon him, becoming the monster he was made to be. Antony’s fascination becomes an obsession as now all he can do or think about is related to the urban legend. Anthony has unknowingly unleashed Candyman back onto the streets of gentrified Chicago. Will this obsession be his downfall, or Anthony be the one to lay the legend of Candyman to rest?

Series Review: Evil

Evil is a monster of the week type show that lacks any charm or interest to make it worth even considering it. I don’t understand how or why it got a second season because of how slow and pointless the first season is. I could barely find the strength to finish the first season, but I lacked the willpower to watch the second. It is a shame because the show has a solid cast, but the story and execution are terrible. Don’t even bother with this show because there isn’t anything redeemable.

The show follows a group of paranormal investigators hired by the church to find out if possessions are caused by demons or something scientific. You have the tech guy who will look at situations logically, the psychiatrist who looks for mental illness, and the priest who will take over if the problem if it really is demons. Most of the episodes end with the party finding a logical explanation, but there is always a demon controlling what they find. It is counterproductive, and it makes a lot of their endless droning pointless and pretentious. There is a lot of explaining in this show, but not enough demon hunting despite there being a world-ending plot against the backdrop.

The best part of this show is the main actors. While they try hard to make whatever this show tries to be work, it is ultimately left lifeless by its story. The show is desperate to be current, linking modern cultural movements like incels and influencers to the devil, but all these explanations are forced nonsense. I never felt the need to become invested in the story because this show is more filler than content. There are moments where they investigate, but you have to sit through pointless backstory that adds nothing to the narrative. I can only hope that the devil destroys the world so I don’t have to keep looking at the ads for this show.

Go watch Supernatural instead. They do this concept better. But if you don’t believe me, you can watch this show on Paramount+.

South Park: The Streaming Wars Part 2 (2022) Review

I am not a fan of the direction South Park is heading in. Maybe I am getting old, but the newer content doesn’t have the spark it used to. Granted, a lot of that spark was generated by me being ten watching South Park, but that shouldn’t matter. I have gone back and rewatched the series from the beginning multiple times. While some of the episodes haven’t aged well, there are still a few I can always rely on to make me laugh. This isn’t a bad show, its impact on pop culture is important, but maybe it is time for the series to end.

I didn’t care for any of the new specials released on Paramount+. The shenanigans are a lot tamer, and the jokes are forced and obvious. This whole special is a series of jokes you have already seen as memes. Even if you like the series, I don’t think it does anything special enough to be worth watching.

Streaming Wars 2 is the conclusion to a special that no one asked for. You get an insufferable villain and the kids trying to stop him, a collection of viral videos that have been redone with South Park characters, and a story that isn’t fun to watch. Sure the show makes important social criticism, but it is criticism that has been made better elsewhere. Maybe they are using their platform to speak to the new fans of the show, but I thought it was a waste.

South Park has had a good run, but it is about time it is retired. But those who are interested can watch it on Paramount+.

Game Review: SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech (Nintendo Switch)

If you are looking for a casual game that doesn’t require much commitment, check out SteamWorld Quest: Hand of Gilgamech. This is a game you can throw on when you just want to chill and not have to worry about leaderboards or storylines. While there is a cute little story full of puns and silly characters, it doesn’t require your undivided attention. The story is a bit on the basic side as it hits traditional RPG tropes, but the gameplay is fun enough where it doesn’t matter.

If you like deck builders and RPGs, SteamWorld Quest is a casual entry into both. The game relies heavily on deck building and hero management, but I never felt it was very intensive. I am a terrible deck builder, but I was always able to find a deck that suited my playstyle. There are guides and lists out there if you ever get stuck, but I never felt the need to look them up. As far as variety goes, there is enough diversity in the card pool to keep things fresh without being overwhelming. 

The game also has some simple RPG elements. There is exploration, loot, hero management, and a grind that you have to consider. 

Exploration was simple. Dungeons are small with only one real path, but there will be secret rooms that will grant you loot and cards. You can always go back to a dungeon to get everything. I never did, but I never felt like I was missing anything important. Dungeons will have a few straightforward puzzles that are manageable if you have been paying attention.

Hero management is also pretty simple. You can buy or collect items and weapons that boost the stats of your heroes and give them special abilities. There isn’t much variety and you will find there is only one real combination towards the end. You can buy items and weapons with gold and upgrade your cards with materials dropped by mobs. There is a grind to consider for this game, but it isn’t terrible. I never felt the need to spend hours in an area, but you can be under-leveled for certain fights if you rush too quickly.

Combat for this game is interesting. You choose your party of three heroes from the six total you collect along the way and create a deck with the cards specific to those heroes. The combat itself wasn’t difficult, although it isn’t something you can do too passively. If you aren’t paying attention, you can die. The RNG will screw you over, but it is rare when it does. The bosses were all unique, but they do feel like sponges towards the later part of the game. There is enough variety with the enemies that you will never use the same deck. I was constantly adjusting to counter enemy resistances and immunities, and it kept the gameplay from growing stale.

You should play this game. It is a neat and chill little card game that is fine for the whole family. I played it on the Nintendo Switch, but it is also available on Steam.