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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)

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The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre is the best-rebooted horror franchise I’ve seen so far. It isn’t going to win any awards, but it is a lot of fun. This movie knows what it is, and it does it well. Texas Chainsaw Massacre goes back to its slasher roots and capitalizes on what makes the genre great. The Leatherface is blood-thirsty, and it makes for some very cool deaths. If you are a fan of slasher movies, this will be a solid revisit to the genre.

Out of the remakes I have seen so far, Texas Chainsaw Massacre has the best pacing. Everything is concise and self-contained to the town. There is no needless back story or lazy tie-ins. There isn’t a whole lot of self-service for the legacy characters or the original franchise. The movie introduces the main characters and starts killing them almost immediately. I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have to wait through a bunch of meaningless reinvented lore to get to what makes this movie fun.

The characters are fine for what they are, although they are a bit insufferable. You spend enough time with them to care, or not care about them. You don’t get long-winded backstories that add nothing to the plot. The acting is good for the type of movie. The plot doesn’t feel long and drawn out. The kills and action are great, and although some are cheesy, it sets this film apart from the other reboots. Overall, I don’t think this is a movie you can keep coming back to, but if you have nothing else to do, at least it’s not Holloween. You can find this movie on Netflix.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: Scream (2022)

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It is tricky to recommend the new Scream movie. Unless your movie ticket is $2, I would not bother watching it in theaters. Streaming it at home would be a better option, but this movie isn’t anything special. The meta-ness of this movie is a bit drawn out. I get that you should rush to see. The meta-ness is a bit much, and the story suffers for it. I get that the meta-jokes are part of the charm of the series, but they get abrasive and overstay their welcome. Sometimes they do work, but more often than not, it is unnecessary commentary about itself. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot does the same commentary better.

I will say that this is a better reboot than the newest Holloween. Scream doesn’t feel as drawn-out, nor is it a vanity project for the original cast. But this movie is drawn out, and a lot of this comes from its meta-ness. This movie will stop often to explain elements of horror movies or spoil itself when all I want to do is watch a scary movie. This movie has potential, and there are moments where the meta-ness works, but it never quite gets there.

The best scene in the whole movie is its opening. While it is clearly an homage to the original, it is excellently executed, and it sets a tone that the rest of the movie never lives up to. It builds some great tension, there is the perfect amount of meta-ness to story, and Jenna Ortega’s performance as the first victim is the high bar that the rest of the movie will continue to fail to achieve. This scene alone gave me the hope that now fuels my disappointment in this movie. 

The main issue with this movie is its characters. The legacy characters are fine, but the new cast is forgettable. The main character is boring. Melissa Barrera isn’t a good choice for the lead. But to her credit, the lead is poorly written. If Sam isn’t dealing with her father being the original killer, she is spouting unwarranted one-liners that never fit her character. I think they were trying to redefine the role of the scream queen to be strong and independent, but there isn’t enough evidence in this movie to support that she is strong and independent. There is a scene in this movie where the killer tells Sam that she “You aren’t strong enough for this movie.” This is the best meta moment in this movie because it is true. Her performance isn’t up to par with the rest of the cast, and the rest of the cast barely does any better. 

This movie is just alright. If you are a fan of the series, it is better than some of the sequels and you might appreciate it more than most. If you aren’t a fan, I think it is better to wait for streaming to be available. I have seen a lot worse, but it isn’t worth the ticket price.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: WarGames (1983)

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This will be less of a review and more of an analysis. If you haven’t seen Wargames, you need to watch it. This movie is a classic for a reason. The cast is great, and the story is fun. Best of all? You can watch it for free on YouTube! Don’t waste your time on the sequel. It’s not bad, but it isn’t anything special.

I’ve been watching a few movies from the ’80s and something that stood out to me this time around was the use of video games. WarGames hinges on the idea that computer games can be used for learning. The first time we are introduced to Matthew, the main character, he is playing at an arcade. Matthew was looking up unreleased games when he found the AI that sets the plot in motion. Video games were also a subtle way to show character traits. Matthew playing video games is a way to show that he was intelligent and good with computers. Video games in these movies are a test of skill, but they are also a call to action. Look at movies like Tron or The Last Starfighter where video games start the plot. They are also an integral part of their storytelling.

Video games still play a big part in cinema today, although they have become less of a novelty. Gaming has become such a big part of our culture that it is embedded itself in our language. You hear it when people use words like “Epic” or “Noob” in their daily conversation. The morphology of words has shifted to cater to gamers. You watch movies like Free Guy that are loaded with gaming references, and we understand these references because they are so integrated into our culture. Things like the Fortnite dances or the Zelda shield don’t need context. There are Twitch streamers who share the same screen as big named actors. Gaming in movies has taken on a lot more roles and has helped tell a lot more stories. It is interesting to see where it all started and how much it has grown. That is if you ignore the commercial aspect of it.

Anyways, go watch Wargames!

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Battle Beyond The Stars (1980)

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Battle Beyond the Stars is a Sci-Fi movie I didn’t know I needed in my life. YouTube has been recommending this movie for a while now, and today I finally decided to give it a try. I found it delightful. Fans of Sci-Fi or Fantasy, this is the movie for you. There are space battles, an evil warlord, unique characters, and an epic journey. This is a fun film, and I recommend it to everybody. 

I will say that some modern audiences might find the pacing a bit slow. I believe the pacing to be fitting, but it is something to keep in mind. The movie is also very cheesy, but the cheesiness is part of the charm. For those of you who love cheesy 80’s, you should at least consider Battle Beyond the Stars.

My favorite aspect of this movie is the creativity. From the different aliens to the space ships, the filmmakers build a universe that feels diverse and expansive. You can tell this movie was low budget, but that doesn’t matter because the story is worth it. I didn’t care that some of the spacesuits were cardboard and duct tape. I didn’t care that the space battles were toys. I didn’t care because the story was so compelling. I admire how much suspense this movie creates with such a small budget.  Battle Beyond the Stars proves that a good movie doesn’t have to have a million-dollar budget to be good. All it needs is a good story.

For those interested, you can watch it on YouTube for free.

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Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Reviews: Dude, Where’s My Car? (2000)

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I will admit that there is some bias when it comes to “Dude Where’s My Car.” I consider it a very influential movie from my childhood, although it had been a while since I last saw it. I have to say, this movie still holds up. Sure some of this movie charm has dulled from age. Some of the jokes don’t land anymore, but the overall experience is entertaining. Sean William Scott and Ashton Kutcher are fantastic together. Their performance in this film shouldn’t be overlooked. Their charisma in this movie is the reason why it works so well.

Now this movie isn’t perfect. The plot is a bit slow at points. You can see this movie age showing itself. Some of the bits are a bit cheesy, but overall I think that is part of the experience. This was never meant to be a movie that was supposed to be taken seriously. I find that stoner comedies are either hit or miss. Either the audience has to be high for it to be funny, or the movie just isn’t funny at all. You don’t need to be high to think this movie is funny, but it does enhance the overall experience. Overall, this isn’t the worst way to spend your time.

“Dude Where’s My Car” is a silly buddy stoner comedy that isn’t a waste of your time. You can check it out for free on YouTube.

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Movie Reviews

YouTube Movie Reviews: John Tucker Must Die (2006)

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This will be more of an analysis than a review. If you are interested in watching “John Tucker Must Die,” it is free on YouTube with ads. You can watch it on Amazon Prime with a subscription if you don’t want any ads. I have to say this movie still holds up. I recommend this movie to anyone, it is a solid comedy with a shady plot. The acting is solid and the soundtrack is phenomenal. I recommend this movie for the soundtrack alone. The plot is a bit problematic, but you can overlook its immorality. This isn’t a movie that should be taken seriously

That said, I am going to take this movie a little seriously. I have to respect this movie for addressing some serious themes, and it does well. The main focus of this movie is to tear down John Tucker, but there are moments in this movie that show that the kids aren’t okay. There is a lot of pressure from society that dictates how everyone should act. John, for example, is the stereotypical alpha jock. He is the best at basketball, he is popular, and he is a player. But that isn’t all John wants to be. Throughout his fake relationship with Kate, he will act out and try his hardest to win her over. Part of that is because it is expected of him, but the other part is because he believes he finds something in Kate that is outside of what is normal. With her, he doesn’t have the pressure he has with the rest of the school and he spends the whole movie accepting this fact. There are scenes in this movie where he is shown breaking down this persona he has created, and those moments give his character a level of complexity that I did not expect. Of course, any development that his character makes is thrown out by the end of the movie, but I don’t think John was ever supposed to be a sympathetic character.

Kate on the other hand has the opposite problem. She is invisible and longs to be noticed and have friends. She doesn’t feel the pressures of society because society doesn’t notice her. When she starts being part of a group and starts to get noticed, she finds that she begins to act in ways that go against her character. There are moments in this movie where she questions the morality of the plot, but she will overlook it because she likes fitting in for once. This movie does a pretty good job of showing how the desire to fit in changes people. These are issues that plagued our adolescence, a period in our lives where we were just trying to fit in and find out who we are as people. Maybe that is why this movie still holds up because these are issues that people still deal with.

This movie isn’t as deep as I make it out to be. It is silly, fun, and worth your time. There are worse ways to spend two hours. Best of all, it is free!

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: I Want You Back (2022)

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Despite what you may think about romantic comedies, “I Want You Back” is one that you should at least consider. Jenny Slate and Charlie Day work spectacularly together! This movie is well-written, well-acted, and delightful at its worst. If you have an Amazon Prime subscription, you need to see this now.

Something to think about before going into this movie is that the characters’ morals are a bit hazy. This movie features two heartbroken characters who find comfort in each other’s company. They have recently gone through a hard breakup and are learning to cope with being alone. This movie does a great job of showing how difficult heartbreak is to overcome. The two plot to help each other break up their ex-partners. This plot is problematic because the main characters are set to ruin relationships and lives for selfish motives. This genre tends to have these problematic immoralities because love makes people do crazy things. In this case, I can excuse it because the journey is well worth the immorality.

The best part about this movie is watching the relationship between the two leads blossom. The chemistry they share is the reason you should watch this movie. The supporting cast is nothing to scoff at. Together they tell a very entertaining story that I must recommend to everyone. As a bonus, this movie has a great musical number. It is beautifully performed and perfectly woven into the plot. I enjoyed it thoroughly. If you have little interest in this movie, that moment is very much worth your time, but it makes more sense in context.

Watch this even if you don’t like the genre. This brings new life to a genre that has been a bit stagnant as of late. It is a nice date night movie, but I would argue that it is a fun anytime movie.

Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Chick Fight (2020)

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Every once in a while, I stumble across a bad movie that leaves me feeling angry about the time I’ve just wasted. Chick Fight is one of those movies. There is so much I want to say, but here is the short version: This movie is terrible, do not watch it. The plot is lazy and predictable, the acting is mediocre at best, and the characters are unimagined.

I knew this movie bad. I felt it in my soul, but I wasn’t ready for how bad. The title alone should have been a red flag, but unfortunately, I watch anything once.

Chick fight is as generic as they come. The main character trains for a high-stakes big fight at the end while facing impossible odds. Somehow, through mostly confidence, she overcomes these odds and wins at everything. Think Karate Kid, but never as good.

My main issue is with Anna, the main character. She is as boring. She has nothing to lose, that is her motivation, but the plot gives her things. She gets the fight club, she gets to win at the end, she gets the successful coffee shop, and she gets the guy at the end without ever struggling. She gets all this because she believes in herself now? Fighting real people gives her the strength to fight life. That is the moral of the story, and I hate it. This movie takes every chance it gets to include a line of dialogue to slap you with its cheesy moral.

The cheesy message of empowerment aside, there is no way she wins her final fight. Anna joins the fight club, not knowing how to fight. Everyone in this fight club demonstrates some real skill, and then you have Anna, who has never even thrown a punch. Anna has two months to get good enough to fight the best fighter in the club. The rival, Olivia, has never been defeated. Olivia is shown beating three fighters at once. There is no way she wins the fight at the end. But through the power of character and shitty foreshadowing, Anna wins. Just watch Karate Kid.

There is so much I want to say about this movie. I have pages and pages of angry notes, but I will end it here: This movie isn’t worth your time.

Movie Reviews, movies

YouTube Movie Review: Black Sheep (1996)

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Chris Farley and David Spade make a great duo. The chemistry and charisma they share always make for a great experience. However, I do not think this is one of them. This movie isn’t bad; there are worse comedies out there. The problem with this movie is its pacing. This movie moves slowly, and although the jokes are funny, you have to wait a long time to get to them. Your time is better spent watching clips of the best moments. Watch Tommy Boy instead.

I don’t think this movie uses its actors efficiently. Farley isn’t as big or loud as he should be, and I forgot Spade was in this movie. There are moments in this movie where you get a taste of this movie’s wasted potential. There is a scene in this movie where Farley is put on stage at a rock show and the way he commands the stage, his charisma, and the energy he puts forth is proof that he was a treasure and wasted in this movie.

If you are a fan of this movie, it is free on YouTube. If you
want to watch a classic comedy, watch Naked Gun instead. I don’t believe that this is a movie that most audiences will enjoy.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Reviews: The Watch (2012)

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“The Watch” is one of those movies that is more about the actors than the plot. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it helps to be a fan of the main actors. As far as buddy comedies go, this one is fine. The chemistry between the actors is infectious, and there are some funny bits. Each of the actors plays to his strengths and they create some delightful characters. The problem with this film is that it doesn’t have much replay value. Essentially, this is a collection of funny moments woven together by an alien invasion plot.

I enjoyed this movie the first time. I cannot deny that it has a certain charm about it. Unfortunately, that charm wears off on the second viewing. Once you know all the jokes and have seen all the bits, you are just waiting around for meaningless plot development to get settled. It isn’t bad for what it is. God knows I have seen a lot worse, but you won’t remember watching this movie. Instead, you will remember specific bits and moments you think are funny.

I do not think this movie is worth paying any money to see, it is not entertaining enough to be worth any money, but as a free movie, you can do a lot worse. It is free on Amazon through IMDB, but I recommend you watch it elsewhere without ads because the ads do affect the viewing experience. If you do have to pay for it, I recommend watching “a best of” on YouTube instead.