I got to play Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine before it was announced to the public, and I wasn’t ready. Up to that point, I had sat through some beautiful and relaxing titles that had me feeling peaceful. But this peace was short-lived and destroyed by one of the most insane match-four games I have ever played.
Dr. Fetus wants to make the perfect Meat Boy clone but needs your help. Match the clones as they fall through the machine, but avoid the deadly traps that make this task nearly impossible. How far can you make it before you throw the controller at the wall?
As is tradition with Super Meat Boy, this game is unforgivingly difficult. It will give you a false sense of security as it starts you with a cute and relaxing match-four experience. It then slowly introduces manageable traps to ease you into an experience that you will never be ready for. Before you know it, you are avoiding missiles, dodging saws, and other deadly obstacles while still trying to match those tiles. It is colorful mayhem that will frustrate most players, but it is a gameplay loop that will keep you coming back.
The art for this game is deceptively cute. The clones are adorable but don’t get too attached. They will all die the most gruesome deaths, leaving behind their viscera to decorate the machine. At first, I liked that the blood didn’t disappear after the reset, but it slowly became a shameful reminder of my failure as it came more often. I got incredibly lucky to get as far as I did with the devs next to me, laughing at my struggle. By the end of the session, my heart was beating so fast that Siri asked me if I needed an ambulance. It was such an intense way to end a session, but one I’d definitely do again. I’ll be working on getting myself a review copy.
If you like Supper Meat Boy or the matching tile genre, you should look into this game. It is a game that will leave you incredibly frustrated, but that frustration is part of the fun. Dr. Fetus’ Mean Meat Machine will release on the Xbox, PlayStation, Switch, and PC through GoG, Epic Games, and Steam. The price hasn’t been announced, but Nintendo has it at $9.99. There is no release date yet, but there is a demo available on Steam. Don’t forget to wishlist!
Series Review: Hello Tomorrow! (2023)
After watching the first two episodes of Hello Tomorrow!, I was hopeful that this series would at least be entertaining. I didn’t expect it to be the greatest series Apple added to their library, but it would at least be a fun way to spend some time if I needed the distraction. The characters were delightful, and I loved the 50’s retrofuturism this series is a master at. Unfortunately, this hopefulness quickly faded when I had to sit through a dull series that frankly, was a waste of time.
Jack is a charismatic salesman who sells the dream of living on the moon on exclusive luxury timeshares that the average hard-working American can afford. But the dream Jack sell isn’t real. There are no timeshares, and Jack is the only one who knows this. For years, Jack runs this scam without issue. It is only when a freak accident brings his son back into his life that Jack suddenly has a change of heart. Jack now struggles with the lies he is comfortable telling and building a meaningful relationship with his son. Will he be able to pull the greatest scam America has ever known, or will a heart change him for the better?
This series has a beautiful aesthetic but lacks the substance to make it worth watching. It was a mistake on Apple’s part to make this series a weekly release because it isn’t worth waiting a week to watch the next disappointing episode. People wouldn’t have finished it if you could binge this series all at once, but some would have stuck with it longer. The problem with this series is that the writing isn’t good. The actors do their best, but the story isn’t there to make this series work. It is a shame because some delightful characters in this series deserved better.
What I hated most about this series is how they fumbled Jack’s development. His transformation is magical and comes out of nowhere. Jack starts this series as this suave charismatic salesman who is incredibly good at what he does, but there is a sudden pivot where he is now a stary-eyed dreamer who wants to help everyone. This pivot is jarring, and it ends up making Jack the villain. I would have been okay with Jack being the villain if the series set this transformation better, but I am over-analyzing a series that frankly doesn’t deserve this much attention.
You can stream Hello Tomorrow! On Apple TV if you have a subscription, but I wouldn’t waste my time on it.
Movie Review: Murder Mystery 2 (2023)
I liked Murder Mystery, so I was excited about this sequel. I wasn’t expecting a comedic masterpiece, but I at least thought it would be entertaining. Murder Mystery 2 is a lazy sequel and a waste of time. It was clear that this movie was made for a paycheck because it lacks any of the charm or humor to make it work. If you want to sit through a boring and predictable mystery, go ahead and queue this up.
The Spitz find themselves in the middle of another mystery. Someone is framing them for a kidnapping they didn’t do, and now the race is on to piece it all together before they are sent to jail. Can they do it in time? Yes, they do, and it is boring.
There isn’t much to say about this movie because no one is trying. The writing is lazy, the mystery is predictable, and the acting is okay at best. As a comedy, this movie is rarely funny. The jokes that did make me laugh aren’t worth sitting through this movie. The mystery is so poorly written that you can solve it in the first few minutes without even trying. You will know who did it as soon as they walk into the scene.
This movie is so uninspired and unremarkable that I have already forgotten what it was about. It was such a waste of time that I considered turning it off after only thirty minutes, but I powered through it knowing it wasn’t going to get better. If you liked the first one, rewatch that instead. If you are curious about this movie, don’t be. It isn’t good You can stream it on Netflix, but I wouldn’t waste my time.
Movie Review: Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
I know we were supposed to boycott Honor Among Thieves because of how greedy Hasbro is, but my wife wanted to watch it. I couldn’t miss out on the rare opportunity to nerd out with her. She doesn’t care much for my love for D&D, so I was hopeful that this would be my chance to bring her into the hobby. I am still working on convincing her, but at least she enjoyed the movie.
Chris pine is a charismatic bard who turns to a life of crime when his wife is brutally murdered. On his last job, he gets captured and sentenced to jail. On his release, he discovers that the man he trusted his daughter to has taken her. It is now up to him and a band of misfits he has gathered to go on an epic adventure and get her back. Do they have what it takes to overcome the evils this world has to offer?
I had a ton of fun with this movie. The characters are charismatic, the D&D references are fantastic, and the balance between comedy and action is perfect. There was a fear going into this movie that it would sacrifice tension and suspense for one-liners and dumb gags, but I was surprised by how well this movie did. Honor Among Thieves knows when to break the tension with a joke, but it also knows when to be serious to build its suspense. The fight scenes are tense and epic, and I dare you to sit through this whole movie without laughing.
The actors are great. The chemistry between the characters is fantastic, and they play off each other so well. I think this movie works so well because of how well the actors play their characters. If nothing else, they look like they are having fun with this movie. Instead of a generic comedic action or fantasy movie, it felt like a D&D campaign adapted into a film.
If you know nothing about Dungeons and Dragons, you don’t need to. I enjoyed all the references to spells, monsters, and rules, but I didn’t find it necessary to understand what is going on. My wife doesn’t know anything about the game but enjoyed it tremendously. The movie is just a fun adventure with magic and maybe a dragon or two. My only complaint is that the movie is a bit predictable, but it is fine for what it is.
If you are thinking of watching Honor Among Thieves, watch it in theaters. This movie is at least worth a discounted ticket, but I understand the need to boycott it.
GDC Recap: Pool Party
At GDC I got to try out Pool Party, a cute little party game you might want to wishlist if you have the friends for it. The game supports four-player couch co-op. You take control of the cutest pool ball character that you can customize. There are only six game modes, but they have more planned for the future. The game modes include Sumo, Tennis, Pool, Football, Jinxed, and Free For All. Each game is based on a sport and has been adapted to fit the pool theme, and it works brilliantly.
The developers wanted Pool Party to be skill-based. Each game relies heavily on physics. Although each round erupts into chaos, you need to put thought into the moves you make to complete the objectives. The devs also wanted the focus to be on the mini-games, so they eliminated all the boring bits you would find in games like Mario Party. Instead of waiting through boring animation, you spend your time between rounds voting on the next mini-game.
The mini-games are a lot of fun, but I loved football (soccer) the most. Having to recalibrate my approach for each game mode kept me engaged, and the chaos had me focused. You have been warned, this game might destroy a couple of friendships.
The biggest draw to this game is its appearance. This game is super cute, and the maps are vibrant and fun. The developers plan on releasing multiple maps to give the game its variety.
If you are looking for a party game and have the friends to play with, you should at least wishlist Pool Party on Steam. They also plan to release it on the Nintendo Switch, but there isn’t any information on that release yet. There is also a demo you can download and try before you commit.
I want to thank the devs who joined up to play and answered all my questions. I didn’t win any of the matches, but I had a lot of fun regardless. Make sure you follow them on their socials to stay up to date on all the news. You can find them on Discord, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and Instagram.
GDC Recap: Project Timi: Sasha’s Curse
During GDC I got to try one of the cutest little rhythm puzzlers I’ve ever played, Project Timi: Sasha’s Curse. Project Timi has you play as Timi as she uses her powers to go into dreams, searching for the evil corpo cat, Sasha. Use her powers to solve puzzles and bring Sasha to justice!
This game is super cute! Shoutout to the game’s artist for creating such an adorable character and world. The music is also nicely done and helps create the game’s whimsical tone. The gameplay is a ton of fun. It reminds me a bit of Captain Toad, but the rhythm mechanics make it a unique experience. This game starts easy but slowly increases in difficulty as you learn new mechanics and get closer to catching Sasha. I know the demo I tried wasn’t a finished product, but it felt incredibly polished and ready for consumption. Shoutout to the whole team for all the work and love they’ve already put into this game.
I will be adding this game to the list of games I need to try because I am hooked. It is too early for a price tag, but you can and should Wishlist it on Steam. Project Timi: Sasha’s Curse will be released on the PC and the Nintendo Switch.
I want to thank the team for chatting with me and answering all my questions. Keep up the great work! Go follow them on Twitter.
Series Review: Agent Elvis
I remember reading about Agent Elvis when it was announced, but I had completely forgotten about it. While the series isn’t the worst adult cartoon I have seen this year, it isn’t good either.
Elvis becomes a vigilante because he wants to fight against the injustices that plague America. His life changes when a secret organization recruits Elvis so that he can perform in an official capacity. But instead of living the cool spy life, he has always envisioned, Elvis begins to uncover dark secrets about his life that begin to shake his foundation.
This series certainly had its moments, but not enough to be worth the trouble. I would occasionally get a good laugh from a joke or gag, but everything between those moments was boring. The animation is fine, and the voice acting is solid, but the story is dull. This is a crude adult cartoon that feels like a lazy copy of Archer, but one that doesn’t have any of the charm. Even if you are an Elvis fan, your time is better spent watching his movies or listening to his records instead.
Agent Elvis isn’t as bad as Velma, but I don’t think it is good enough to recommend. It is a bland and uninspired show that makes alright background noise, but it isn’t anything you should be rushing to watch. You can watch it on Netflix if you are still interested, but your time is better spent elsewhere.
A Brazil Games Preview for GDC 2023
The Game Developer Conference is less than a week away, and I have been busy setting up interviews and other activities that I am not able to reveal to you at the moment.
What I can reveal is that I have the exciting opportunity to meet with the Brazil Game Delegation and try some of the games they have planned for release. Full disclosure, I was asked to write this post, but I wasn’t paid to do so. This post will be my honest impressions based on the materials I was shown.
The Brazil Games delegation is a collection of 43 companies that are working to build the growing and vibrant gaming industry in Brazil and Latin America. I will be trying out Drakantos, a Pixel Art MMORPG by Wingeaon Game Studios, but I am hoping I can sneak in a few others. I am very excited to see what people from my side of the world bring to the table. Until then, let me tell you a bit about what they have planned for GDC.
Drakantos
I will be trying Drakantos at GDC. I was drawn to the title because I am always looking for a new MMO to get into. The art is cute, the voice acting is amazing, and the story seems interesting. I can see this game being successful for those who want an MMO that doesn’t feel like a second job. As long as there is a fun leveling experience, enough content to keep me busy, and an end game, I can see myself sinking hours into this game. It is too early to say for sure with how little I know about it now, but stay tuned for a recap.
BlackThorne Keep – Chronicles
The next game I am hoping to try out is Limiar Studio’s BlackThorne Keep – Chronicles. The game is an open-world RPG for the PC and PlayStation that promises skill-based combat. The game looks a bit clunky in the trailer, but with enough love, I can see this being a lot of fun. The biggest hurdle I can see this game having is that the world might be too open, the physics might not be good enough for the jumping puzzles, and the combat might just be button-mashing. So far, it is very reminiscent of Elder Scrolls, and if they can make that combat more fun, I am here for it. It is too early to have a real opinion based on the trailer alone, but I will be back once I get some first-hand experience. You can check it out on steam if you are curious.
Kriophobia
Fira Soft’s Kriophobia is a hand-drawn survival game that looks beautiful. I am not sure if I will be trying this game because I don’t do well with horror games, but it is one to keep on your watch list if you are
a fan of horror. Based on the trailer, it seems to have some pretty terrifying exploration through a very eerie-looking setting. Based on the music and trailer alone, I am pretty terrified. I will try to make time for this game, but I don’t want to make any promises. Maybe I can find someone to play it for me. You can check it out on Steam if you are curious.
Galaxy Kart VR
If you like cartoon kart racers and have a VR headset, you need to keep an eye out for VR Monkey’s Galaxy Kart VR. I won’t be trying it because I don’t want to risk motion sickness with how busy my schedule is, but I’ll try to check it out. The characters are hilarious, the tracks look fun, and the racing combat is exactly what I want from a kart racer. If you like Mario Kart or any games like it, you should be looking into this game.
Lux Ex Cyber Initiation
Ilex Games is coming out with its sequel to Lux Ex. Lux Ex Cyber Initiation is a cyberhero shooter that promises better graphics and more levels. The amount of weapon choices and the procedural generation of levels promises a new experience each time you play through a level. I haven’t been a huge fan of these games because I am not smart enough, but if you are in the market for this kind of shooter, the music seems cool, and the gameplay seems solid. You can wishlist it on Steam.
Tower of Samsara – Hidden Treasures
Tower of Samsara – Hidden Treasures, also by Ilex Games, is a pixel art platformer coming to the PC and Xbox. I am not a huge fan of platformers so I might not try this one. That said, the art looks neat, and the combat and puzzles look interesting. Nothing against the game’s design, I just know that I lack the abilities to be successful in a game like this. That said, if you like platformers like Shovel Knight, Tower of Samsara might be worth getting into.
Wëiph: Reins of Fate
I will be trying to play Game Plan’s Wëiph: Reins of Fate. The art looks super cute, the music is fun, and you get to play as a cat. You play as an abandoned cat named Weiph through an adventure puzzle platformer that is sure to frustrate me, but I will probably cry at the end. It sort of feels like Ori:The Will of the Wisps with visual novel elements. The game is coming for the PC, Switch, Xbox, and PS5. I don’t think I am allowed to post video so here is some official art I pulled off the internet.
What the Duck
What The Duck is an action-adventure game by Seize Studios coming out for the PC and Nintendo Switch. It looks like it is going to be a goofy Zelda game. The game does look a bit clunky in the trailer, but I am willing to overlook this if the mechanics are fun. This looks to be one of those games that won’t take itself seriously. If it is as funny as I think it is, I am here for it.
Wizavior
Wizavior is a single-player 3D platformer coming to the PC, Switch, PS5, and Xbox in 2024. I wasn’t ready for how good the music is in the trailer. The art is also cute enough that I am willing to put my biases against platformers aside. I know this game is going to frustrate me, but I need to listen to the rest of this soundtrack. I am going to try to sneak a turn or at least have someone more competent play this for me. If you aren’t easily frustrated by 3D jumping puzzles, keep an eye out for Wizavior.
Mega Battle
Last but not least we have Cavylabs’ rogue-like deck builder, Mega Battle. I have a soft spot for card games and will be trying this game. What makes this deck builder unique is its mech-building mechanic. It looks like you will get the mech you to take into battle, and I gather that your deck is influenced by the type of parts you use. This is sure to open up the game to a diverse collection of strategies. It does look like a flash game which might turn some people off, but if the card game is fun, why should it matter? It is too early to tell from just the gameplay video, but hopefully, I can come back with a more concrete opinion.You can check it out on Steam.
In Closing
The games are listed in no particular order. I understand that it is unfair to judge the games without trying, so I will reserve my criticism for when I get to play the games. It is all getting more real with each day and I can’t help but to be overcome with excitement. With that, I am off to prep for some interviews.
*Feature Image by Rafael Javier from Pixabay
Movie Review: Triangle of Sadness (2022)
Triangle of Sadness is one of the most pretentious and shallow movie I have seen to date. I am glad I didn’t see this in theaters because this would have been a waste of money. Nothing happens in this movie.
A cruise ship full of the wealthy and elite shipwrecks on a deserted island. Here on the island, their wealth and status are meaningless. The survivors now must earn their survival, casting aside the excessive luxury they were accustomed to.
The acting is easily the best part of this movie, but the writing is terrible. There is nothing subtle about this movie. Triangle of Sadness wants you to know that capitalism is bad and will take the entirety of its run time artistically and redundantly making this point. This movie could have been shorter. Maybe if this movie spent less trying so hard to be artistic and actually told a meaningful story, I could have recommended it. Instead, my recommendation is that you spend your time on better content.
I don’t have much more to say about this movie because nothing happens. There were a few interesting scenes, but nothing worth sitting through this movie for. You can stream it on Hulu, but I wouldn’t bother.
Image By NEON – IMP Awards, Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=71522525
Movie Review: Cocaine Bear (2023)
Cocaine Bear is one of those dumb movies that you shouldn’t take seriously. While it fared better than I expected, it isn’t worth the trouble to watch it in theaters. If you are curious about this movie, wait for it to come to streaming so that you can skip all the boring bits. It isn’t a bad movie, but it isn’t worth the price of a movie ticket.
Cocaine Bear is a horror comedy about a bear addicted to cocaine that terrorizes a forest in Tennessee. The story focuses on three unsuspecting groups trying to survive the sudden bear attack. This movie is as dumb as you’d expect.
The acting in this movie is solid. The actors have great chemistry, and the bits of the plot that aren’t serious is a lot of fun to watch. The bear looks a bit cartoonish, but fitting of the movie’s tone. I loved the bear, and every scene that involved the cocaine bear was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, when there is no bear, this movie is boring. One moment you are crying from laughter as you watch cocaine-induced carnage, the next you will sit in silent disappointment as you have to watch boring development for characters you won’t care about. There clearly wasn’t enough for a movie, so there is a bit of filler you can skip past. This movie needed more bear.
There isn’t much more to say about this movie. It is a dumb movie that knows it is dumb. While some of the decisions pay off, not enough of them do to be worth watching in theaters. That said, you need to watch Cocaine Bear at least once to appreciate how dumb it is, but I recommend you wait for it to come to streaming.