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Movie Review: Allegoria (2022)

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The Harrowing of Hell By Jacob van Swanenburgh. I couldn’t get the rights to the poster, but this painting was referenced in the movie. Source

This movie took a lot of effort to get through because of how unbearably pretentious it is. I had to take multiple breaks just to be able to finish it. That said, I don’t outright hate this movie. I have seen a lot worse, and there are things about this movie I did like, but it is hard to recommend. Unless you like low-budget experimental horror films, I wouldn’t bother.

Allegoria is an anthology of horror stories involving artists encountering evil. Monsters, demons, murders, and the unexplainable are wreaking havoc on the world’s most pretentious artists, and no one knows why. The stories are out of order, but surprisingly, they all connect at the end in a kind of satisfying way. The acting is solid for the most part, but the writing needs a lot of work. There are some clear moments of competence where the filmmaking, acting, and writing come together to create a great narrative, but most of the movie isn’t that.

The problem I have with anthologies is that not all the narratives are good. You get a few good stories, but you have to sit through all the bad ones. Most anthologies have a theme, like Tales From The Crypt. They might exist in the same universe but aren’t always connected aside from the theme and setting. The stories in this anthology are connected by a single event. I would argue that some of the connections between the stories are forced to make them fit the overall narrative. I appreciate the novelty of the storytelling in this movie, but I can’t get over the pretentiousness. Every narrative has a longwinded, eye-roll enduring monologue defining an art form, and there is only so much of that I could take.

I can’t recommend this movie because it is more bad than good. But if you like strange movies that are just okay, you can stream this on Shudder if you have a subscription.

Movie Reviews

Movie Review: What Josiah Saw (2022)

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What Josiah Saw is a fantastic horror movie made by our friends over at Shudder. If you don’t have a Shudder subscription, this movie alone is worth the free trial. Shudder also offers a wide selection of horror movies so you can fuel a nice little Summerween marathon. This is not an endorsement of the platform, I just happened to pick up the trial on a whim and had the good fortune of stumbling upon this movie.

What Josiah Saw is the story of three siblings dealing with an unspoken trauma from their childhood. The film is broken up into segments, each focusing on a different sibling until it all comes together nicely at the end. The movie does a great job of showing how their trauma still haunts and affects their adulthood. I don’t want to say any more about this movie because I don’t want to ruin anything.

I loved this movie so much that I have already watched it multiple times. There was a good amount of effort put into this movie, and it all pays off. Every narrative, scene, and even dialogue has been calculated to create this chilling mystery. I still keep finding small details and clues that I missed the first time around. As a note, there are certain actions the characters take, things they say, and even small items that come to focus that won’t make initially, but they will at the end if you’ve been paying attention.

The acting is amazing, the story is uncomfortably chilling, and the cinematography is phenomenal. You have great tension to keep you at the edge of your seat, uncomfortable scenes that will make you squirm, and a twist that will shock you to your core. This is a movie where the filmmakers truly understand what makes good horror. You need to watch this movie, especially if you are a fan of horror. Even if you aren’t, this is a fantastic movie that you need to force yourself to sit through eventually. Stream it on Shudder!

Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Glorious (2022)

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I didn’t know what I was getting myself into with this movie, but I didn’t hate it. Sure it has its issues, but it is an interesting concept that is done fairly well. Glorious is a movie about a conversation between a god and a Wes that happens inside a rest stop bathroom. The god appears to Wes and spends the whole movie trying to convince him to sacrifice himself in order to save the universe from complete destruction. It is a bit pretentious as it talks about destiny and duty, but it is hard not to be when discussing these topics.

As far as horror movies go, this one isn’t scary. There are a few jump scares and some gross scenes, but it is all pretty tame. I would argue that it is more of a comedy because there is a bit of slapstick, but hardly any of the jokes land. The acting is okay, but there are some very awkward reads that are hard to overlook. The set and cheap special effects fit the overall tone of the movie. This movie gets very cheesy, but I never hated it for it. The story is okay. This movie takes a few unique risks, and they mostly pay off. Not everything they discuss is interesting, but it never got so bad I wanted to turn off the movie. The narrative properly builds to a nice twist, one that you can figure out if you pay attention to the conversation. I liked that it was a plausible twist because of all the clues scattered throughout the movie. This movie does a nice job of complicating the idea of the protagonist and heroes. This movie was definitely a nice surprise, but it is a surprise that is hard to recommend. 

This is a good movie if you like weird experimental films and don’t mind the low budget and the general cheesiness. If you have a Shudder subscription, go for it. Otherwise, I would hold off.

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Day Shift(2022)

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Day Shift is a buddy comedy about vampire hunters that certainly has its moments, but I wouldn’t rush out to go stream it unless you have nothing else to watch. While it may not be the worst movie on the platform, its inconsistencies leave it in an awkward place where it is hard to recommend.

Jamie Foxx is a rogue vampire hunter that plays by his own rules. This flaw makes him a broke vampire hunter, desperate for money. In an effort to stay afloat, he must join the heavily regulated secret organization of vampire hunters. Here he is assigned Dave Franco, an inexperienced desk jockey who does everything by the book. The two find themselves in a conflict against a powerful vampire and her clan. They now must learn to work together to save Los Angeles from a vampire uprising.

Day Shift is just okay. The acting is fine, the jokes are inconsistent at best, and the story is generic. I don’t think there was a clear road map for this movie as it feels like a series of unfunny sketches strung together with some decent action scenes. If you cut out the dull and unfunny bits, we wouldn’t have a movie.

There is nothing special about this story. The characters are forgettable. Dave Franco and Jamie Foxx don’t have enough chemistry to pull this movie off, but I will blame the script for that. The villains have no presence, leaving the film without the suspense and tension it needs to be interesting. This would be forgivable because this movie is a comedy, but most of the jokes aren’t funny. The movie always goes for the cheap laugh and it doesn’t always work. I will commend the movie’s attention to detail. There are some small insignificant bits of lore that are set up very nicely, but I only noticed them because I was losing interest in the movie. 

The action is this film’s only redeeming feature. Whoever designed the action scenes in this movie had a lot of fun with their job. Not all the scenes are equally fun, but there were enough to save this movie from being terrible. The first couple of fights in this movie are fantastic, but the movie definitely loses its steam towards the end. 

If you are thinking of watching Day Shift, do so passively. Not everything in this movie is worth your attention. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go out of my way to put this on. You can stream it over on Netflix. 

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Honor Society (2022)

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Honor Society was a delightful surprise hidden away in the otherwise baron catalog or Paramount plus. It isn’t perfect, it plays out a bit like a fairy tale, but it is an entertaining two hours of your life.

Honor Society is about Honor’s last year in high school. She has great ambitions and plans to achieve every one of them. To do so, she surrounds herself with reliable people, gets good grades, starts clubs, does volunteer work, and sucks up to the school’s guidance counselor. She wants to go to Harvard, and the only thing standing in her way is a letter of recommendation from the counselor. The problem is that three other students are competing for this recommendation. Honor hatches a plan to make sure she is the only candidate left by the end of the year, but her plotting isn’t as nefarious as intended.

This movie is a very high-energy and fun movie structured almost like a heist movie. Honor will constantly break the fourth wall to lay out her plans and reasonings, the camera will pan to the person or people involved, and you get to watch as she manipulates her way toward Harvard. It is really fun to see. 

This style is unique and very effective for telling Honor’s story. The movie jumps from plot to plot seamlessly at Honor’s request without ever being confusing or disorienting. Honor is a fantastic protagonist with the charisma to make this movie work. The rest of the cast is equally fantastic and the performances come together as a fun teen movie about surviving high school. 

My biggest complaint about this movie is how easily and quickly everything falls into place. People will do what she asks without question. The movie does a decent job at setting up Honor as the popular girl everyone likes, but the narrative still fits together like a fairy tale. One could argue that she isn’t being manipulative, but rather encouraging people into doing something they have always wanted to do. You can also argue that she is an unreliable narrator. You are being told a story from her perspective where she is cool and smart enough to get what she wants. Whatever the reason, this is a fun movie and you should check it out. Find it on Paramount+.

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Secret Headquarters (2022)

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I was pleasantly surprised by Secret Headquarters. I was expecting a completely generic superhero kids action movie, but I got a decent action comedy. It may not be perfect, but it has an undeniable charm to it. It is a solid kids’ movie, but one that you should only watch with your kids. It isn’t good enough to recommend to anyone outside of the target demographic. 

The movie focuses on Charlie and his friend’s attempt to survive a villain’s assault on the world’s only superhero. Charlie is a normal kid trying to survive middle school while dealing with his parent’s separation and his absent father. Charlie’s life changes when he and his friends discover that his dad is the superhero The Guardian. Unfortunately, this discovery throws the kids into an ongoing conflict between The Guardian and an organization that is after The Guardian’s power. With the help of his friends and the Guardian, Charlie must now stop the villains from taking over the world.

This movie is okay. It isn’t going to win awards or redefine the genre or the medium, but it isn’t the worst way to spend two hours. The plot is simple, the humor is easy, but the special effects are pretty good. You will lose interest because the pacing is a little slow. A lot of the humor in this movie is designed for kids. Not all of the jokes land, but there are some solid references and double entendres that will offer you a good chuckle. The best part of the movie is its editing. The editing is hilarious. I love how it would cut away perfectly to sensor the cuss words. Your kids (if applicable) will have more fun with this movie than you will. 

What helps make this movie palatable is the acting. The kids are fun and share some great chemistry, and Owen Wilson and Micheal Pena are a delight. The characters are given enough development to be distinguishable but don’t expect anything complex. Most characters fill an archetype; but they do well enough within those restrictions. The villains in this movie are exactly what you can expect from a kids’ movie. They are dumbed down and generic; Micheal Pena does his best.

This movie isn’t perfect. If you don’t have kids, I wouldn’t go out of my way to seek it out. If you have kids, it is a decent action comedy. Check it out on Paramount+.

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Series Reviews

Series Review: The Sandman (2022)

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I can’t recommend The Sandman enough. This is fantasy at its finest. The story is amazing, the acting is mostly great, and it is such a beautiful show. I can’t speak on how close of an adaptation it is to the comic, but I can speak on what a good show this is.

The series deals with the gods and forces outside of the human realm that affects the human experience. Forces like death, desire, and dreams are manifested as gods, each with its own domain to rule. The natural order of things gets complicated when a series of events lead to the capture of Dream. Years go by, and Dream’s kingdom crumbles. The show focuses on a newly freed Dream as he tries to rebuild his Kingdom and his power.

I have been impatiently waiting for any new fantasy to hold me over till the next season of The Circle of Time. This definitely helped soothe my impatient heart, but now I fear I will be impatiently waiting for this next season of The Sandman as well. It is safe to say that I am obsessed with this show, and there is a good reason for that. The narrative is interesting, full of well-generated tension, interesting villains and heroes, and some pretty fantastic world-building. I love that Dream isn’t a traditional hero. Dream will often act whit his own interest in mind because he is not limited by human morals. He will slowly realize that this is not always in the universe’s best interest, and his thinking slowly changes as a result of his experience. It is very cool to see a hero who learns from his journey as he deals with his flaws and inhibitions.

The narrative style for this show is unique. Each arc seems to have its own voice, keeping the series fresh and exciting. It is nice to see fantasy that doesn’t follow the usual tropes. My only complaint is with the inconsistency of the acting. Some actors give amazing performances, while others do their best but have awkward delivery. It isn’t a terrible problem, but it is noticeable. I also had an issue with the pacing. I felt it slows down towards the end, but I never felt like it was unwatchable. 

This is a great series and you can watch it on Netflix!

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Wedding Season (2022)

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Wedding Season is a surprising rom-com. You have seen this narrative formula before, and that’s okay. Wedding Season has been reskinned to the experience of an Indian American couple trying to live their lives under the pressures of their community. It is a solid date night movie and one that you won’t hate if you are forced to watch it.

Wedding Season is about an Indian American woman Priya who just wants to live her life her own way and build her career. Her mother takes it upon herself to find Priya a man. Priya in an effort to take some of the pressure off herself agrees to date one of her mom’s prospects. Priya and Ravi then decide to create a fake relationship so that their families, and the rest of their society, will leave them alone. Fantasy turns to reality, and both find that their feelings for each other are real.

This rom-com was very well done, the story is cute, and the actors are amazing. I loved the new perspective and twist on this story. I can’t speak on the cultural accuracy of the movie, but I do appreciate seeing brown people in roles where they aren’t offensive caricatures. There really isn’t much more to say about this movie because you have seen this movie countless times already. I didn’t mind it because they do enough to make this movie feel fresh. My only complaint is that there are parts that dragged on for me, but I think that is a personal problem. I watch too many movies.

If you are looking for a date night movie, Wedding Season is a solid choice. If you are a fan of the genre, you will have a lot of fun with this movie. Check it out on Netflix!

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Movie Reviews

Movie Review: Prey (2022)

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I love Predator. It is one of my favorite movies. I will watch everything that features the Yautja, no matter how bad they are. I have known disappointment so many times that my hope for the series is fleeting. When I heard about Prey, there was the bittersweet sensation of cautious excitement because the trailer looked cool, but I wasn’t ready to be hurt again. This movie has restored my faith in the series and has become one of my favorites. If you are thinking about watching this film, watch it now!

This prequel focuses on Naru, a young female Comanche warrior who is constantly trying to prove herself to the men of the tribe. The Yautja has landed on earth, searching for worthy prey to hunt. The Yautja begins to hunt the Comanche warriors. Now Naru must protect her tribe against this strange and powerful hunter.

This movie is fantastic. The action is fun, the story is great, and the acting is fantastic. Watching the Yautja hunt is tense and exciting. The film does a great job of making the fights balanced and exciting. The only complaint I have about this movie is that some of the special effects are bad. Some deaths and fights are cartoonishly bad, but not bad enough to ruin the movie. This is one of the better stories set in the predator universe. It has well-built tension that builds to one of the most satisfying conclusions. The acting is phenomenal. It goes without saying, this movie has one of the best female leads in the genre. She is cool and smart, and I believed she was capable of hunting the Yautja. I can only hope there are more movies of this caliber for the genre and the predator universe. 

 It cannot be understated, you need to watch Prey. It is available in English and a Numunuu dubbing. I wish the whole movie was done in Numunuu, and we got an English dubbing after; but we might not be there as a society yet

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Movie Reviews, movies

Movie Review: Luck (2022)

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Luck failed to leave any impression on me. It isn’t a terrible movie, but it isn’t good enough to recommend. If you have to sit through this for your kids you won’t hate it. You will lose interest and forget you watched it, but it won’t be the worst kids’ movie you’ve sat through.

Luck is the story of the words unluckiest woman, Sam. Everything always goes wrong for Sam, but she manages to live with her bad luck. This all changes when one day she finds a magical lucky penny. Unfortunately, Sam is too unlucky even for magic, and she loses the penny. Now, with the help of a magical black cat, she must find a new lucky penny to help her friends.

The story is just predictable fluff that started as a cool concept. I liked the good and bad luck world, but I wish there was a bit more world-building. The pacing sucks. There are parts of this movie that drag so slowly that I almost gave up on this movie. I never give up on movies. The art is cute, but the animation is awkward and stiff. The voice acting is very inconsistent. Some of the actors are great, but most give very awkward line reads. This movie has its audience, and it is kids. 

If you have kids, fine, go for it. It’s cute, and you can tune out when you need to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go out of my way for it. For those interested, you can watch this on Apple TV.